Snakes In The Ball Pit > Yay, I get to talk about me!

Poetry SLAM!

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Isfahan:
Well, as we all know, eastern Europe is the Texas of Europe, so that makes sense.

Emperor Jack Chick:

This here is what we call "terrible"
jack-chick, February 08, 2013, 03:05:28 am
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i like the part where he makes the bear noises

So Jack, not being a metal aficionado what makes the hit new single, "Blistering Corpse Abortion-Drowning in Phemaldehyde," lacking in quality when compared to "Vulvectomy - Gangrenous Testicular Deformity"?
objectivelyhorribleperson, February 09, 2013, 02:54:49 pm
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Hey there, so basically the blistering corpse abortion track is extremely muddy. They're trying to do some sort of progressive tech-slam thing (where they play shit that's way too technical for slam), but didn't really shell out enough in production dollars, so instead of being able to hear what they're doing, it just sounds like a noisy mess. Vulvectomy, on the other hand, discards all concept of technicality in favor of sick brutal riffs that make you want to do karate chop hand motions and wear workout pants. If blistering corpse abortion would have just simplified their riffage and invested in a good quality trashcan for the snaredrum, they could get the sickness slamming appropriately.

Thanks!

-Jack

Isfahan:
Hey there, so basically the blistering corpse abortion track is extremely muddy. They're trying to do some sort of progressive tech-slam thing (where they play shit that's way too technical for slam), but didn't really shell out enough in production dollars, so instead of being able to hear what they're doing, it just sounds like a noisy mess. Vulvectomy, on the other hand, discards all concept of technicality in favor of sick brutal riffs that make you want to do karate chop hand motions and wear workout pants. If blistering corpse abortion would have just simplified their riffage and invested in a good quality trashcan for the snaredrum, they could get the sickness slamming appropriately.jack-chick, February 09, 2013, 08:38:33 pm
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man pitchfork's never gonna pick you up writing unpretentious reviews like these

"Vulvectomy, on the other hand, discards all concept of technicality in favor of sick brutal riffs that make you want to do karate chop hand motions and wear workout pants."

That's probably the best endorsement of a musical style I've read in years.

Acierocolotl:
His name is not Brent.  It is anti-Jack.

fruit power:
I don't understand half of what Jack Chick posts because I enter a trance state while reading where all I can hear is this song. 

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