"without lemon", "bad parenting", "hopelessly broken", "do-it-yourself therapy", "hippies", " questionable problem-solving", "i need a lift to burning man"
EDIT: oh god, "recipes" too
Title: 253: Heal Yourself With Crystals
Post by: cube abuser on June 10, 2017, 06:10:42 pm
(http://i.imgur.com/wyVWDWZ.png)
Title: 253: Heal Yourself With Crystals
Post by: Shell Game on June 10, 2017, 06:54:12 pm
which crystals stop joke stealing ? ? ?
Title: 253: Heal Yourself With Crystals
Post by: EYE OF ZA on June 10, 2017, 07:10:43 pm
i love the kid who's trying to tell his mom to go away, he's not having a psychic attack, he's just got a cold
(also with that dark-type joke is Ironicus the replacement Portaxx)
also, Nutshell's coachella voice sounds so close to Anna Rubinova's teenager voice
Title: 253: Heal Yourself With Crystals
Post by: Shell Game on June 10, 2017, 10:14:18 pm
also, Nutshell's coachella voice sounds so close to Anna Rubinova's teenager voice RADICAL SANDWICH ANARCHY, June 10, 2017, 07:10:43 pm
THAT'S WHAT IT WAS REMINDING ME OF thank you
Title: 253: Heal Yourself With Crystals
Post by: Cleretic on June 11, 2017, 02:47:30 am
i love the kid who's trying to tell his mom to go away, he's not having a psychic attack, he's just got a cold RADICAL SANDWICH ANARCHY, June 10, 2017, 07:10:43 pm
Her methods of cleansing her kid sounded an awful lot like the process to cook her kid.
(also with that dark-type joke is Ironicus the replacement Portaxx) RADICAL SANDWICH ANARCHY, June 10, 2017, 07:10:43 pm
I love that it came out so quickly, that quip was REFLEX for him.
Title: 253: Heal Yourself With Crystals
Post by: Ambious on June 11, 2017, 02:58:21 am
Title: 253: Heal Yourself With Crystals
Post by: xX_sp00ks_Xx on June 11, 2017, 04:35:45 am
MOUTHWASH WITH CITRIC ACID FOR HEALTHY TOOTH ENAMEL
Title: 253: Heal Yourself With Crystals
Post by: Fatty Bo Batty on June 11, 2017, 11:36:53 am
When people say "I want to be able to eat off this floor", they aren't asking you to marinate your tile.
Also, this is one of the giggliest episodes ever.
Title: 253: Heal Yourself With Crystals
Post by: Ragnarok Boobies on June 11, 2017, 12:03:19 pm
I'd be curious to see the number of these crystal healers that also have heavy metal poisoning from cooking with their crystals, because it's not like rocks can have other things in them like oh say Gallium, Mercury, Lead, Arsenic, or a boatload of other stuff you shouldn't ingest.
Title: 253: Heal Yourself With Crystals
Post by: Shell Game on June 11, 2017, 12:31:07 pm
(also with that dark-type joke is Ironicus the replacement Portaxx) RADICAL SANDWICH ANARCHY, June 10, 2017, 07:10:43 pm
That was my favorite part about it! Just BAM! Type nullification joke.
Title: 253: Heal Yourself With Crystals
Post by: YetAnotherAmber on June 11, 2017, 02:18:08 pm
fun fact I paused the podcast for the night in the middle of the uses for Lemon list, and I just unpaused it again, and immediately was greeted by 'CLEANSES THE BLOOD'
Title: 253: Heal Yourself With Crystals
Post by: CaptainLaserPants on June 11, 2017, 02:59:17 pm
I was expecting way more jokes about "Steven Universe," but since Portaxx was absent, there was no hope. Also, has Nutshell ever considered doing ASMR in her Coachella voice?
Title: 253: Heal Yourself With Crystals
Post by: lazzer grardaion? on June 11, 2017, 03:18:46 pm
I'd be curious to see the number of these crystal healers that also have heavy metal poisoning from cooking with their crystals, because it's not like rocks can have other things in them like oh say Gallium, Mercury, Lead, Arsenic, or a boatload of other stuff you shouldn't ingest. Ragnarok Boobies, June 11, 2017, 12:03:19 pm
There was actually a crystal/herb shop in my hometown, and the owner got in a heap of trouble because he was selling asbestos.
EDIT: Apparently this is not an uncommon phenomenon! (http://ewastedisposal.blogspot.com/2015/08/asbestos-as-healing-crystalsagain-be.html)
Title: 253: Heal Yourself With Crystals
Post by: Yavuz on June 11, 2017, 03:36:11 pm
When I listened to the episode this morning, I tried to mentally picture Lemon himself doing all of those things on that list, and it was very amusing.
Title: 253: Heal Yourself With Crystals
Post by: rhorsman on June 11, 2017, 05:43:18 pm
When do we get the "404 WAS AN INSIDE JOB" stickers?
Title: 253: Heal Yourself With Crystals
Post by: Frank West on June 11, 2017, 06:06:57 pm
I was expecting way more jokes about "Steven Universe," but since Portaxx was absent, there was no hope. Also, has Nutshell ever considered doing ASMR in her Coachella voice? CaptainLaserPants, June 11, 2017, 02:59:17 pm
I think I am a much bigger fan of Steven Universe than portaxx is but I told myself to only allow one and Ironicus beat me to it.
Title: 253: Heal Yourself With Crystals
Post by: Achilles' Heelies on June 11, 2017, 07:12:44 pm
This was a great episode. I hate this episode.
Title: 253: Heal Yourself With Crystals
Post by: Achilles' Heelies on June 11, 2017, 07:13:47 pm
When I listened to the episode this morning, I tried to mentally picture Lemon himself doing all of those things on that list, and it was very amusing. Yavuz Sultan Selim, June 11, 2017, 03:36:11 pm
I want this video.
Title: 253: Heal Yourself With Crystals
Post by: NutshellGulag on June 11, 2017, 09:20:59 pm
Also, has Nutshell ever considered doing ASMR in her Coachella voice? CaptainLaserPants, June 11, 2017, 02:59:17 pm
nooooooo
Title: 253: Heal Yourself With Crystals
Post by: Down10 on June 12, 2017, 12:41:49 am
I was expecting way more jokes about "Steven Universe," but since Portaxx was absent, there was no hope. Also, has Nutshell ever considered doing ASMR in her Coachella voice? CaptainLaserPants, June 11, 2017, 02:59:17 pm
Are you new here? I'm putting you on notice.
Title: 253: Heal Yourself With Crystals
Post by: Spacebat on June 12, 2017, 01:18:56 am
Since Lemon and Ironicus have never been on the podcast at the same time, I'm going to assume they're the same person.
Title: 253: Heal Yourself With Crystals
Post by: Cleretic on June 12, 2017, 04:03:29 am
Since Lemon and Ironicus have never been on the podcast at the same time, I'm going to assume they're the same person. Spacebat, June 12, 2017, 01:18:56 am
Are their wives in on this?
Title: 253: Heal Yourself With Crystals
Post by: Lemon on June 12, 2017, 09:22:43 am
For context on Nutshell's Goop refererence early in...
Goop: Jade Eggs For Your Yoni (http://goop.com/better-sex-jade-eggs-for-your-yoni/) (mildly NSFW header image)
Q: What are the benefits? A: Jade eggs can help cultivate sexual energy, increase orgasm, balance the cycle, stimulate key reflexology around vaginal walls, tighten and tone, prevent uterine prolapse, increase control of the whole perineum and bladder, develop and clear chi pathways in the body, intensify feminine energy, and invigorate our life force. To name a few!
The jade creates kidney strength—it’s known as jing in Chinese energy, and it’s all about sexual potency, and even beauty—if your hormones are balanced, your skin will look better. It’s a holistic combination of things, where one benefit builds to another. Jade also takes away negativity and cleanses—it’s a very heavy material, very powerful.Goop
Title: 253: Heal Yourself With Crystals
Post by: Ragnarok Boobies on June 12, 2017, 03:11:53 pm
—it’s known as jing in Chinese energy, and it’s all about sexual potency... Goop
Specifically Chinese energy? Like I have to travel to Hong Kong in order for this to work, or can I get some energy sent to me in the mail? Do I need to find a j.o. buddy specifically of Chinese descent to help charge my rock? Maybe my djinn knows an energy fulfillment wish I can make.
Seriously though, I wonder how much of these people's knowledge base comes from popular culture and movies like The Golden Child.
Title: 253: Heal Yourself With Crystals
Post by: znarf on June 12, 2017, 04:28:57 pm
Ok, I'll take a field trip to the SD location and tell you how many metric tons of crazy I see.
Title: 253: Heal Yourself With Crystals
Post by: Fatty Bo Batty on June 12, 2017, 04:54:48 pm
—it’s known as jing in Chinese energy, and it’s all about sexual potency... Goop
Specifically Chinese energy? Like I have to travel to Hong Kong in order for this to work, or can I get some energy sent to me in the mail? Do I need to find a j.o. buddy specifically of Chinese descent to help charge my rock? Maybe my djinn knows an energy fulfillment wish I can make.
Seriously though, I wonder how much of these people's knowledge base comes from popular culture and movies like The Golden Child. Ragnarok Boobies, June 12, 2017, 03:11:53 pm
Don't forget "What the *bleep* Do We Know?"
Title: 253: Heal Yourself With Crystals
Post by: CaptainLaserPants on June 12, 2017, 08:20:08 pm
Also, has Nutshell ever considered doing ASMR in her Coachella voice? CaptainLaserPants, June 11, 2017, 02:59:17 pm
they improve the sound quality and take care of haters as well
Title: 253: Heal Yourself With Crystals
Post by: accepting change on June 13, 2017, 01:37:42 am
oh i posted this in discord and didnt even know there was an episode
(http://i.imgur.com/x9GAzlv.png)
im glad that as my interest in semi-precious stones waned after i left primary school, they remained in the hearts of people seeking to capitalize off idiots
Title: 253: Heal Yourself With Crystals
Post by: accepting change on June 13, 2017, 01:39:25 am
in case you're wondering, thats almost definitely the dash of a pt cruiser
(http://i.imgur.com/CwJIREa.jpg)
Title: 253: Heal Yourself With Crystals
Post by: Sherman Tank on June 13, 2017, 02:44:51 am
in case you're wondering, thats almost definitely the dash of a pt cruiser
The only PT Cruiser owner I ever knew was a joyless schoolmarm who wanted to abolish summer vacation for reasons that had nothing to do with educational efficiency or effectiveness.
Ok, I'll take a field trip to the SD location and tell you how many metric tons of crazy I see. znarf, June 12, 2017, 04:28:57 pm
I'll stand you a beer if you tell me when you're coming to SD.
Title: 253: Heal Yourself With Crystals
Post by: Cheapskate on June 13, 2017, 07:02:14 am
oh i posted this in discord and didnt even know there was an episode
(http://i.imgur.com/x9GAzlv.png)
im glad that as my interest in semi-precious stones waned after i left primary school, they remained in the hearts of people seeking to capitalize off idiots Megacrex inepta, June 13, 2017, 01:37:42 am
Imagine the air bag deploying.
Title: 253: Heal Yourself With Crystals
Post by: znarf on June 13, 2017, 04:20:16 pm
For context on Nutshell's Goop refererence early in...
Goop: Jade Eggs For Your Yoni (http://goop.com/better-sex-jade-eggs-for-your-yoni/) (mildly NSFW header image)
Q: What are the benefits? A: Jade eggs can help cultivate sexual energy, increase orgasm, balance the cycle, stimulate key reflexology around vaginal walls, tighten and tone, prevent uterine prolapse, increase control of the whole perineum and bladder, develop and clear chi pathways in the body, intensify feminine energy, and invigorate our life force. To name a few!
The jade creates kidney strength—it’s known as jing in Chinese energy, and it’s all about sexual potency, and even beauty—if your hormones are balanced, your skin will look better. It’s a holistic combination of things, where one benefit builds to another. Jade also takes away negativity and cleanses—it’s a very heavy material, very powerful.Goop
Yomi is Japanese for "reading the mind of your oppone.." Oh Yoni you say. I guess at least in strip malls that have card games and new age-y stores it would be a convenient shopping trip.
Title: 253: Heal Yourself With Crystals
Post by: EYE OF ZA on June 13, 2017, 04:27:16 pm
I notice that no one else has mentioned "vibe up"
Title: 253: Heal Yourself With Crystals
Post by: Cleretic on June 14, 2017, 01:23:03 am
in case you're wondering, thats almost definitely the dash of a pt cruiser
The only PT Cruiser owner I ever knew was a joyless schoolmarm who wanted to abolish summer vacation for reasons that had nothing to do with educational efficiency or effectiveness. YOU ARE UNDER SHERMAN TANK ATTACK, June 13, 2017, 02:44:51 am
Was she the villain in a cartoon aimed at elementary school kids?
Title: 253: Heal Yourself With Crystals
Post by: Eider Duck on June 14, 2017, 02:08:02 am
So whenever my internet goes down it's because of Mercury's influence? I better start gluing pretty rocks to my router.
oh i posted this in discord and didnt even know there was an episode
(http://i.imgur.com/x9GAzlv.png)
im glad that as my interest in semi-precious stones waned after i left primary school, they remained in the hearts of people seeking to capitalize off idiots Megacrex inepta, June 13, 2017, 01:37:42 am
"My car gets a love charge"?
Title: 253: Heal Yourself With Crystals
Post by: Knitting Machine on June 14, 2017, 11:36:48 am
I'd be curious to see the number of these crystal healers that also have heavy metal poisoning from cooking with their crystals, because it's not like rocks can have other things in them like oh say Gallium, Mercury, Lead, Arsenic, or a boatload of other stuff you shouldn't ingest. Ragnarok Boobies, June 11, 2017, 12:03:19 pm
There was actually a crystal/herb shop in my hometown, and the owner got in a heap of trouble because he was selling asbestos.
EDIT: Apparently this is not an uncommon phenomenon! (http://ewastedisposal.blogspot.com/2015/08/asbestos-as-healing-crystalsagain-be.html) LancashireMcGee, June 11, 2017, 03:18:46 pm
From my teenage Wiccan days I remember reading a magical gemstone guide that claimed asbestos was only dangerous because "modern man overused or" and cited it being by ancient Greeks to prove it was actually safe.
Title: 253: Heal Yourself With Crystals
Post by: Shell Game on June 14, 2017, 12:46:38 pm
From my teenage Wiccan days I remember reading a magical gemstone guide that claimed asbestos was only dangerous because "modern man overused or" and cited it being by ancient Greeks to prove it was actually safe. Knitting Machine, June 14, 2017, 11:36:48 am
I mean, part of its danger IS in its overuse, but it's because breathing it in causes problems and having large quantities of it stuffed into every part of our day to day lives increases the risks exponentially, not just the hubris of the mundane modern man. It's super interesting the ways in which mystickal types distort even their cherry-picked factoids.
"We used it in ancient Greece and in the 70s! Those two entities are good foundations to what we should and shouldn't use. No regrets in those times! Nope!" :p
My roommate and I are trying to get through this pseudoscientific book about "Earthing", the practice of walking barefoot outside to connect to the soil and cure cancer (among other things) and it's FILLED with half-facts about electricity and shit. It's nuts.
Title: 253: Heal Yourself With Crystals
Post by: Neal on June 14, 2017, 05:17:08 pm
Searching "gem water" on YouTube is a thing worth doing.
Title: 253: Heal Yourself With Crystals
Post by: YetAnotherAmber on June 17, 2017, 05:55:41 pm
My roommate and I are trying to get through this pseudoscientific book about "Earthing", the practice of walking barefoot outside to connect to the soil and cure cancer (among other things) and it's FILLED with half-facts about electricity and shit. It's nuts. Shell Game, June 14, 2017, 12:46:38 pm
Oh man I ran across Earthing on the web once when i was trying to find ways to help with jetlag. Some site was like 'walk around barefoot for half an hour to realign yourself with the earth's electric field and you won't have any jetlag!'
Title: 253: Heal Yourself With Crystals
Post by: Dawnswalker on June 17, 2017, 07:47:05 pm
Oh, so that's what that guy on the plane at the beginning of Die Hard was talking about.
Title: 253: Heal Yourself With Crystals
Post by: Yavuz on May 13, 2018, 01:02:38 pm
Our friends at Energy Muse show up in this article (https://newrepublic.com/article/148190/know-healing-crystals-come-from) about the problem of sourcing gems in the "healing crystal" industry. Spoiler alert: they don't really talk about where they get their gems from, and many of the types of gems that they use could come from troubled sources like the Democratic Republic of Congo or Myanmar.
Title: 253: Heal Yourself With Crystals
Post by: Sherman Tank on June 08, 2018, 09:40:44 am
I saw this while I was out buying ingredients for peppercorn sauce and immediately heard the sound of Nutshell Gulag screaming.
(https://i.imgur.com/vH2KU49.jpg)
Title: 253: Heal Yourself With Crystals
Post by: Hoffgod on October 07, 2021, 06:44:29 pm
Broke: using astrology to sell crystals. Woke: using astrology to sell """Mexican food""". (https://nachocrystal.com/) https://twitter.com/ZachDefense/status/1446186270351319044?s=20