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What are your feelings on today's beautiful display of semi-controlled violence?

I already youtubed the commercials.  I'll be playing Wedge Wars instead.
3 (10.7%)
Which one is the football?  Is that the guy in the zebra outfit?
5 (17.9%)
I hope Baltimore wins it for that angry dancing murderer guy.
2 (7.1%)
I hope SF wins it for their angry coach that will certainly murder soon enough.
1 (3.6%)
Just drinking and wishing that beautiful Bunnybread was here with me ... to uhhh ... talk sports.
6 (21.4%)
Why is it even called 'Football' when the feet rarely ev- OH GOD STOP HITTING ME!
11 (39.3%)

Total Members Voted: 24

Voting closed: February 05, 2013, 02:07:21 pm

Topic: So How About That Superbowl?!?!  (Read 36899 times)

Bunnybread

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So How About That Superbowl?!?!
Okay nerds!  I like sports and you probably don't but I wanted to involve you in one of the most overblown, mega-violent, ultra-capitalist spectacles that America has ever known.

I made the poll and tried to anticipate the most frequent answers but you can comment and talk about whatever party you're attending and how drunk you are/will be or what food you're eating.... or maybe even  GASP  talk football!


Fuckin' vote or I'm gonna slap that D&D manual out of your hands in front of that girl you like.

Bunnybread

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Re: So How About That Superbowl?!?!
Oh yeah, I should let everyone know what I'll be doing for the big day. 
I'll be chasing down Frank Gore in the backfield and hoping to disrupt the passing attack of the 49ers.
Look for me!  I'm the linebacker wearing #51 and staring down Chris Culliver from across the field.



Also, regarding the D&D manual-slapping, it's assumed that the girl you like is Portaxx and she loves that nerd shit.  I'm not a bully.  I'm actually playing matchmaker.  You can thank me later.

Isfahan

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Re: So How About That Superbowl?!?!
I like how, for this year, all of the who-do-you-think-will-win-the-Super-Bowl polls out there on the Internet can also double as an indicator of the ratio of site visitors from the east and west coasts.

Also, I live in Maryland, so go Ravens I guess. I won't be watching. Instead I'll find out the results later and shrug. I will either say "oh cool" or "that's a shame."

I've been to Super-Bowl parties before, but it was mostly to eat wings and beer-battered onion rings.

Lemon

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Re: So How About That Superbowl?!?!
This week I learned that the coaches of the teams are brothers. And one wears a suit and the other one wears casual clothes, so I think the whole "football game" thing is just a mislead, and they're actually just planning out a highly rated pilot of their new show Two Coaches: It's basically an Odd Couple reboot, but with Friday Night Lights influences.

Bunnybread

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Re: So How About That Superbowl?!?!
Also, I live in Maryland, so go Ravens I guess. I won't be watching. Instead I'll find out the results later and shrug. I will either say "oh cool" or "that's a shame."
Isfahan, February 03, 2013, 02:39:41 pm
How close are you to Baltimore?  I'm asking because sports fans are extra drunk and extra dumb on Superbowl Sunday and that tends to make them a little more riotish about championship games.  You should maybe consider getting a gun for protection.

And, yeah Jim and John Harbaugh would make for a wonderful sitcom.  John is neat and tidy whereas Jim has severe rage issues and kills John in his sleep during the third episode. 

Oh yeah!  Additional sub-poll!  Which superbowl subtitle is more goddamn moronic?  The SuperBaugh or the HarBowl?

Isfahan

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Re: So How About That Superbowl?!?!
How close are you to Baltimore?  I'm asking because sports fans are extra drunk and extra dumb on Superbowl Sunday and that tends to make them a little more riotish about championship games.  You should maybe consider getting a gun for protection.bunnybread, February 03, 2013, 03:17:26 pm

Oh Bunnybread, you're adorable. I already own more guns than I do trigger fingers, which I think technically means I'm a gun nut. I think? I don't know the delineation.

However, I'm pretty far from Baltimore, so I don't think the riots will spill over into my neck of the woods. Still, it's Baltimore. Riots are how they celebrate a new TCBY opening up.

montrith

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Re: So How About That Superbowl?!?!
Being a not-American, I wasn't sure what this "football" thing was all about. So I googled. This is what came up.

http://i.imgur.com/9Omxz.png

I am now more confused.

Bunnybread

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Re: So How About That Superbowl?!?!
How close are you to Baltimore?  I'm asking because sports fans are extra drunk and extra dumb on Superbowl Sunday and that tends to make them a little more riotish about championship games.  You should maybe consider getting a gun for protection.bunnybread, February 03, 2013, 03:17:26 pm


Oh Bunnybread, you're adorable. I already own more guns than I do trigger fingers, which I think technically means I'm a gun nut
Isfahan, February 03, 2013, 03:25:02 pm
Yeah, Kevlar-britches, that was the joke.  You think I don't know about your gun shrine?   Christ, I keep expecting you to pop up behind Wayne LaPierre when I'm watching C-Span.



Oh and HOLY FUCK THEY MADE A FOOTBALL FLOW CHART!  I actually wish I had known about this before I started the thread.  It really does seem like the ideal way to teach a sport to computer nerds.  Montrith, are you some kind of internet fairy that knows what we need before we know it ourselves?

montrith

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Re: So How About That Superbowl?!?!
It's my superior google skills, which actually allow me to see the future and anticipate the forthcoming need for Internet stuff. That's the only thing they thought me during 7 years of Uni.

Seriously, I confess not being able to make heads or tails about  that chart. American football to me just pretty much comes down to "Some men stand grouched facing each other, until somebody blows a whistle, which is when everyone starts fighting".

Acierocolotl

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Re: So How About That Superbowl?!?!
It's basically like rugby, except whenever the ball hits the ground or somebody gets knocked over, everybody takes a break.

And to celebrate the US's love of lawsuits, there's so many rules and regulations even the referee doesn't necessarily know them all, and one team or the other can be arbitrarily penalized.

I actually liked watching this.  Not because I have any enjoyment of the sport, but the local pub had this electronic trivia game where you'd try to predict what the quarterback was going to do, and you'd score points based on the accuracy of your prediction.  Despite having no ducks in any of the teams, I typically scored better than the majority of the college boys who could actually identify teams.

Notm

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Re: So How About That Superbowl?!?!
It's basically like rugby, except whenever the ball hits the ground or somebody gets knocked over, everybody takes a break. Acierocolotl the Canada, February 03, 2013, 05:38:36 pm

In Australia, we also have the AFL which is basically: how much can you kick the ball and how far can it go
NRL: How much are you willing to pay money for the best players to nearly be knocked over before you have to pass the ball
and of course rugby (ARU).
ARU: How many Australians does it take to win a rugby game? 5 sponsers and some airplanes.

Bunnybread

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Re: So How About That Superbowl?!?!

American football to me just pretty much comes down to "Some men stand grouched facing each other, until somebody blows a whistle, which is when everyone starts fighting".
montrith, February 03, 2013, 04:36:11 pm
Naw, baby, that's hockey.  We  like to induce concussions within the normal gameplay.

Horza

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Re: So How About That Superbowl?!?!
Meh, this Aussie doesn't mind NFL.

The Superbowl is crazy though, with the cheerleaders and colour guards and crossing to the troops at Camp Freedom, Afpakistan and the African-American lady octave-juggling the Star Spangled Banner and what was that guy doing with the archery poses?

Also weirded out by all the people on the sidelines. Are they all referees and stewards? Do you need that many people? Kinda distracting for the players no?

Tophat

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Re: So How About That Superbowl?!?!
The only sports I care for are football and formula one, and by football I mean what-ho cup of tea top of the mornin' to ya football. I've never understood handegg either, all I know is that they like to shout seemingly random numbers and run into each other as much as possible. What even IS the Superbowl? Do they get to eat their cheerios the next day in some kind of gold encrusted food holding device?

...Oh and I like professional wrestling too but LOLthat'snotasportit'sallfakeetcetc.

Bunnybread

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Re: So How About That Superbowl?!?!
Ok, got back to a computer for a few seconds.  Let's see how well I can type when drunk and rushed.  Uhhh.... NotM-I used to like the Aussie Football when I was in Perth a while back.  The shorts were a bit too revealing (I like to stay in denial about my homosexuality) but the hitting and speed of the game was pretty good. 
Acier, you and I will take in a CFL game some day and we will get so trashed you will not remember the game, just like a normal football experience.
Horza, we need all those sideline people because all the other jobs have been outsourced by big business in America.  Also, do you guys still call it 'Grid Iron' football?
Tophat, the superbowl is a normal bowl by day but it puts on a mask and a cape at night and keeps America safe from crime. 

NOW, additional Sub-poll time.
Halftime Show Thoughts:
1)Wow, Destiny's Child is back again forever!!!
2)That sparking guitar was the dumbest thing I've seen in a sporting contest that celebrates concussions.
3)Man, the background music for Beyonce's crotch ballet recital was awesome.
4)This football shit is interrupting a remarkable concert.