Projects => The F Plus => Topic started by: STOG on September 30, 2020, 05:14:59 am
Title: Just an update on things!
Post by: STOG on September 30, 2020, 05:14:59 am
Hi! Hello. How are you? Hope you’re doing well, despite it all.
Today is the week of my 34th birthday, and I am giving everyone the gift of closing up a loose thread. Some of you have been wondering, “Where did STOG go? Where is STOG?” Some of you have been saying this on cue, every four hours, just to keep my name in the minds of every household, and I thank you for your dedication. But I’m here to tell you STOG is no more.
I will no longer be appearing on The F Plus. It’s been a good run and I’m happy the show has been going on this long (and a lot of that has been courtesy of you all, with your support, thank you so much). But I’m not in a good place at the moment, and I am devoting my time to recovering.
I do have to emphasize that I’m not doing a bit. I do a lot of bits, bits that only I consider funny and that other people don’t, but comedy is subjective, unless it’s bad. I am still leaving the podcast. This is not a bit.
You’re probably wondering why! Here’s why:
Being suddenly let go from my job because of the COVID-19 pandemic bought me a lot of time to kill in quarantine. So, I decided to get off my ass and start seeing a psychotherapist. At the same time, I also started looking up memory and focus clinics, because I had talked previously with Sanguinary Novel earlier this year over some memory lapses I was having. I suspected ADHD, but I didn’t want to just go off some symptoms I was having, a medical professional’s opinion was needed here. But in the end, I’m glad I did. I don’t have ADHD. I’m just so depressed that I thought I actually did have it.
It took four months to get this done, but I got the test results back. Specifically, I have a high Beta-wave marker in the right front lobe of my brain that has been wrecking my shit for the last thirty three years of my life. I have been diagnosed with a particularly awful General Anxiety Disorder, Major Depressive Disorder, and Autistic Spectrum Disorder (more specifically, what used to be Asperger’s).
The first two haven’t been really much of a surprise, I’ve always had this low mood, and the feeling that my anxiety paints my worldview as a cheap B-movie slasher (and not even a good one) since as far back as I could remember, but I didn’t see the Autistic Spectrum Disorder coming. But I keep reading the assessment I got from the clinic, and it makes sense. I have answers for why I am now, and they are either anticipatory anxiety or stubborn autism. I just genuinely didn’t think I was autistic or even depressed, and my answers lined up with other people’s reactions to who I am: “oh, it’s just STOG”. I’ve decided it’s time for me stop wallowing in my depression and make changes for the better, and ending my involvement in this podcast is one of those changes.
But this is partially why I’m quitting the podcast. In the process of figuring all of this out, I got my job back, but now I’m to wake up at 5AM to be ready for work. F Plus meetings happen at 9 (or later, if Lemon needs people to fill in), and episode recordings generally start a half-hour after that. Getting the episode done, getting the audio file to Lemon, then finally getting to bed means I’m up until midnight or later. You might be saying “It’s only three hours and some change of sleep you’re going to lose”, but I have to lift 100lb boxes of paper for a living, sometimes from a height of two stories high, and I don’t want to accidentally injure myself over a podcast that I’m on every two months or so. It’s bad enough that I have to deal with this brain chemistry.
Finally, I’m just not into the scope of the format that the podcast does anymore. Forum bullshit and rants on Amazon don’t excite me anymore, my thing now is willing new freaks into existence with the power of Heaven’s Lathe, seeing food review freaks getting excited over processed food prepared by underpaid workers, watching big dumb guys try to chug beer and fail spectacularly at it on Youtube. I’ve been getting into SOV horror and obscure ‘80s action movies with a horror game developer on weekends. I do bike rides late at night through darkened forests and tunnels while blasting metal into the darkness from my portable speaker. I made some really good cabbage and cauliflower soup the other day. I haven’t listened to an episode of this podcast in over a year, it’s been superseded by my other interests. Not to mention my attitude towards Lord Brighton Wetveal the Third’s ‘Why I Should Be Allowed To Fuck Rarity The Pony’ is just like “all right, whatever”.
I don’t know whether this will truly be a goodbye. Maybe I’ll be back. Cirith Ungol came back this year, 29 years after their last album in 1991, to pull off one of the greatest heavy metal comebacks I’ve ever had the pleasure of listening to. So if 60 year old men can still rock, anything’s possible.
Thank you all for getting something out of my high-Beta brainwave emissions.
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Title: Just an update on things!
Post by: GirlKisser420 on September 30, 2020, 05:49:39 am
Thanks for letting us know, hope you do good out there.
Title: Just an update on things!
Post by: Agent (gobble, gobble) Coop on September 30, 2020, 06:30:29 am
Rest easy Stog
Title: Just an update on things!
Post by: Antivehicular on September 30, 2020, 06:35:40 am
Take care and best of luck!
Title: Just an update on things!
Post by: eldritchhat on September 30, 2020, 09:06:23 am
STOG, I just wanna say, I have always thought of you as one of the most funny and creative people that I've had the pleasure to know. While It's sad to hear that you're leaving the podcast, I understand your reasons, and I wish you the best of luck in whatever direction you choose for yourself. Even outside of the podcast, the chances I've had to talk to you and chill with you during a stream, I really appreciated them. I know that you've had an important impact on my life, both as an artist and as a human being, and I'm sure that there are many people that can say the same.
I hope that I will get the chance to speak with you again in the future, because I know you have insights and a perspective that is truly unique, but you owe yourself more than fretting over a few strangers on the internet.
So long space cowboy.
Title: Just an update on things!
Post by: Secret Gaygent 69 on September 30, 2020, 10:00:22 am
Thanks for all you've contributed to the F Plus. I wish you well on your future endeavors.
Title: Just an update on things!
Post by: chai tea latte on September 30, 2020, 10:01:05 am
Take care, king. I'm sure we all wish you nothing but success and recovery.
Title: Just an update on things!
Post by: Frank West on September 30, 2020, 10:06:12 am
When I spend time with funny people, especially people who are really unique in their humor, I tend to take little bits of their style and use them myself. I say that to try and make this next line seem less corny: I'm genuinely more funny and interesting for having met you.
I'm glad you're living your best life, even though I'm bummed we're not a part of it. Be well, and if you ever need a guy to do a stupid thing with, hit me up.
Title: Just an update on things!
Post by: sea hag on September 30, 2020, 10:11:37 am
I'm excited to hear that you've gotten a diagnosis and are on the road to healing. It seems like it's going to take you great places!
Thanks, STOG.
Title: Just an update on things!
Post by: Wrought on September 30, 2020, 10:36:38 am
I'm sure I can speak for everyone when I say we all want only the best for you. You've left your mark on this community and entertained so many people in doing so in a way they could never forget (not even if they wanted to).
Thanks, STOG.
Title: Just an update on things!
Post by: Deep 13 on September 30, 2020, 10:40:55 am
I'm just a random F Plus fan who mostly lurks around here, but I wanna say you've brought years of laughter to me, and genuinely helped me cheer up on many occasions with your humor on this podcast. You are doing the right thing, making choices that will be healthier for you and doing what you enjoy, but I just wanted to thank you, earnestly, for your contributions to this podcast and the world in general.
Thanks, STOG! You are awesome! I know your name doesn't rhyme with Thank you, but THANK YOU anyway!
Title: Just an update on things!
Post by: Boots Raingear on September 30, 2020, 11:47:04 am
I'd like to offer the most genuine "Thanks Stog" that I've ever given. So glad you're doing what you need to make you the best you that you can be. We'll be around for you whenever you need us.
Title: Just an update on things!
Post by: Adam Bozarth on September 30, 2020, 12:08:08 pm
I will always approve of choosing mental health over podcast recordings. I hope that our paths cross again in the future, STOG. You've brought me so much joy.
Title: Just an update on things!
Post by: Kumquatxop on September 30, 2020, 02:10:22 pm
STOG: in some number of years, when you're rich and famous because your 'underground frozen TV dinner eating competition league' guerilla reporting Twitch livezine blew up and you're a sponsored esport or whatever, I hope you remember us merry band of idiots fondly.
In all seriousness, it has been one of the sincerest pleasures I have known, to yell with you into the void and every once in a while to conspire about yelling in person (with or without music backing). Do what brings you net positive happiness in life -- I will be rooting for you.
I do bike rides late at night through darkened forests and tunnels while blasting metal into the darkness from my portable speaker. STOG, September 30, 2020, 05:14:59 am
Keep on ridin dirty, my friend.
Title: Just an update on things!
Post by: Lemon on September 30, 2020, 04:35:23 pm
I'm glad I know ya, STOG. Be well, whatever it looks like for you.
Title: Just an update on things!
Post by: Standplaats Kraków on September 30, 2020, 04:42:08 pm
Take care, man. Rooting for you.
Title: Just an update on things!
Post by: A Meat on September 30, 2020, 05:07:17 pm
Have as good of a time as you can muster on this hell of an earth, and keep on taking care of yourself
Title: Just an update on things!
Post by: Lemon on September 30, 2020, 05:25:57 pm
Old people width diseases should beware of dangerous rocking (https://thefpl.us/episode/43?t=44%3A46%2C51%3A39).
Title: Just an update on things!
Post by: kthorjensen on September 30, 2020, 06:05:25 pm
Take care and be well, STOG. Reach out if you ever want to talk about ASD and depression, as I've been bathing in those waters for a long, long time.
Title: Just an update on things!
Post by: Hux on September 30, 2020, 09:19:44 pm
STOG, you're probably the most relatable ridiculist of the bunch. the way you talk to the others, your quips and quirks, they're all something that i see in myself. and it has always meant a lot to me to be able to listen to someone who talks like i do, to people who don't totally get it but still love it. to put it simply, you're hilarious and relatable. thanks for being you.
the past few months have been really weird for everyone, but i'm glad you've started to piece things together. depression is awful, anxiety is awful. ASD is...not awful, just a unique experience. it has its not so nice side but there's plenty to embrace, too. the clarity that comes with a diagnosis in adulthood is really something.
it's been a joy to listen to you for the past few years. i hope you find success with your new job, and that things get easier for you now that you have some answers.
p.s. i also ride my bike at night except i play pokemon go at the same time and blast breakcore on my speaker
p.p.s. lifting 100 pounds of paper? gimme your workout routine dude
Title: Just an update on things!
Post by: John Toast on September 30, 2020, 11:17:37 pm
There's a lot I want to say, but for now I'll just say this: every game of TF2, every recording of the podcast and every time we hung out in person has been a delight. I'm so glad you're finding what works for you, man. Keep it up.
Title: Just an update on things!
Post by: Shell Game on October 01, 2020, 02:30:08 am
We've stumbled upon about the same comorbidity regarding mental health in recent months it seems. We're absolutely different people with different things going on, but all of that in the here and now with all that's happening is... soul draining and hard to cope with.
I'm really glad you're looking out for yourself, stog. It's important to know what you need and i hope giving yourself the space to breathe helps.
Always gonna appreciate the time you've shared with us. You'll always be in our hearts, rhyming with dog.
(PS, you helped clean up the cuts and scrapes on my arms at first live. I still think about that. Always end that thought with "stog's a swell guy." That isn't really relevant to anything else, i just wanted to share it.)
Title: Just an update on things!
Post by: Antivehicular on October 01, 2020, 05:01:43 am
Wherever you go in this life, and whatever great things you do, just remember: cover the interior of your car with plastic in case you vomit.
Title: Just an update on things!
Post by: three cats in a self-driving car on October 01, 2020, 05:23:33 am
I'm pretty new on here, but I've been listening to you guys for ages and your weird off-kilter humor has always been great.
Joining in with a hearty Thanks, STOG,
Title: Just an update on things!
Post by: Emperor Jack Chick on October 01, 2020, 08:11:28 am
Stay true, metal warrior. I'm confident your path will end in victory. I am here as a resource if'n you should ever want it.
Title: Just an update on things!
Post by: Immoral Filth on October 01, 2020, 10:19:15 am
Thank you, STOG. You were the best.
Title: Just an update on things!
Post by: Penultimatum on October 01, 2020, 11:26:56 am
I’ve always really appreciated your jokes, even if they’re incomprehensible to everyone else. Keep on keeping on, STOG.
Title: Just an update on things!
Post by: Ambious on October 01, 2020, 11:35:13 am
Thanks for the laughs, STOG! Happy Birthday!
Title: Just an update on things!
Post by: Chupasaurus-Rex on October 01, 2020, 12:04:02 pm
Good luck and great health to you STOG!
Title: Just an update on things!
Post by: SHAMBA~1.SBB on October 01, 2020, 03:47:08 pm
stog wiedersehen
Title: Just an update on things!
Post by: Bunnybread on October 01, 2020, 06:15:04 pm
Sweet Baby Stog. I remember you from even before Turtle was recording our dumb asses.
Loved the first Live event where you supposedly tried to introduce yourself by your real name. The reply was a resounding "Nope, you are always and forever STOG"
There is only one Stog. So it is vitally important that Stog takes good care of his beautiful Stoggy self.
Good luck with everything you do in life, baby. Get better and stay better.
Title: Just an update on things!
Post by: Ugly In The Morning on October 02, 2020, 01:31:59 pm
Thanks, STOG! I hope everything goes well for you. Your work on the podcast really helped me out last fall when I was going through some shit and needed a laugh, and I appreciated it a lot.
Title: Just an update on things!
Post by: Puppy Time on October 02, 2020, 08:06:31 pm
I think this song puts it best. (https://soundcloud.com/horrible-jingles/horrible-jingles-stog)
Have a great time doing your stuff, Stog. You own.
Title: Just an update on things!
Post by: Great Joe on October 03, 2020, 04:40:06 am
Hey Stog. I liked all your bits. They're good bits. I'm glad you're going out and finding the things you enjoy, never stop doing that.
Title: Just an update on things!
Post by: Down10 on October 03, 2020, 06:14:03 pm
Thank you for all the work and joy you put into the podcast, STOG.
I'll see you around in the chat room during TruthPoint, or wherever else I may run into you. Don't be a stranger!
Title: Just an update on things!
Post by: NutshellGulag on October 04, 2020, 01:38:59 am
Stog, you are a lovely person, and I'm glad to have gotten the chance to meet you. Your health and happiness are very important. Getting an ASD diagnosis isn't so bad; it explains some stuff and helps give you a new framework to work with. I'm so glad that things are picking up for you. Podcasting and playing video games with you has always been a joy. We are all here for you if you ever need us! GO! BE FREEEEEEEE! :)
Title: Just an update on things!
Post by: Victor Laszlo on October 04, 2020, 11:51:41 am
I just got back from vacation, and this post is literally the first thing I've read on the internet in over a week. I would post another missive echoing those of all the other ridiculists, telling STOG what his friendship has meant to me the last 10+ years, but I note that STOG hasn't logged in since he made his final post. So instead I am posting what immediately came to mind:
Title: Just an update on things!
Post by: Victor Laszlo on October 06, 2020, 08:37:23 pm
If you've ever had the privilege of coming to an F Plus Live, you know that the day after the event there is a karaoke party. You may not know that the songs that STOG sings are never songs that STOG chose himself. Rather, several of us found it entertaining to sign him up to sing something that struck us funny. He would learn which song he was singing at the same time the audience would. He may not have ever heard the song he was about to sing, but he would always go up and sing his heart out in that inimitable STOG way. Thus, for example, three years ago an inside joke turned into STOG singing "Call Me Maybe".
I have occasionally found myself hearing a song on the 'radio' and thinking how fun it would be to have STOG sing that song at the next F Plus Live. To stave off covid boredom I began compiling a list. I was going to choose my eventual favorite and put him in the queue to sing it for my own personal amusement at the next show. Now I realize that this dream, like so many others, will go unfulfilled. But the list still exists, and there is no reason not to share it. So in no particular order, here are the songs I have considered for STOG to sing at F Plus Live:
No Scrubs - TLC Hallelujah - Leonard Cohen Radar Love - Golden Earring Danger Zone - Kenny Loggins When Doves Cry - Prince Me So Horny - 2 Live Crew
Title: Just an update on things!
Post by: One Of The Crappy Pokemon That Nobody Likes on October 06, 2020, 08:57:12 pm
I've been trying to think of what to say but eh, my words are useless. Just keep doing Stog things in a Stog way that really Stogs your Stog, Stog.
Title: Just an update on things!
Post by: Hux on October 06, 2020, 10:35:18 pm
you can't mention STOG, f plus live, and karaoke without mentioning this: