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Topic: Let's vote California!  (Read 4438 times)

Nickel_Nips

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Let's vote California!
For those of you not familiar with politics in my home state, WE ARE FUCKING BONKERS YOU GUYS. We also have literally all the electoral votes so the rest of you need to deal with it.
I wanted to share our special strain of electoral insanity with you, the internet, in the form of our voter packet. These get mailed to every registered voter and contain instructions for election day and other goodies. To review, one of our US Senate seats is up for grabs this year, and in California pretty much anybody can run for Senate. Anybody! Then we have an open primary where you vote for whoever you want (our parties are batshit, we'll get to that) and the top 2 from whatever crazy-ass party go head to head in November. The voter packet introduces some of the candidates (I'm not totally clear on how you get in the packet, we have something like 40 candidates, but they're not all here) in a statement they write about themselves in their own words. I scanned the best statements for you guys to enjoy and HIGHLY ENCOURAGE you to go to the campaign websites.

Tragically, Dr Agbede has dropped out, but his dope-ass website (as of this writing) lives on.


His name is LITERALLY LAWS you guys.


I think I actually know Ling Ling.


There's a lot going on here. DEMOCRACY!


Legally changed her first name to President, ELECT THIS WOMAN!


SEMICOLONS!


I wish to punch this man.


I'll edit in links to some of the sites later and fix any wonky/unreadable images, scanning took longer than I expected and I need to go to bed !
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lazzer grardaion?

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Let's vote California! #1
I think I actually know Ling Ling.


Nickel_Nips, May 09, 2016, 12:58:56 am

Yeah, you really do need those +10 Giant Chaos weapons to speedrun God's Heart and America's Freedom; I look forward to seeing Ling Ling at SGDQ this year!
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Vinny Possum

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Let's vote California! #2
California uber alles! Viva Emperor Norton! Avocado stronk! Our Unions aren't corrupt monstrosities that defeat the very purpose of unions, I swear!

In all seriousness though, the idea of a Jackson democrat is terrifying. On the other hand, for once the publicly Christian guy isn't using it as an excuse to be a giant bag of dicks. And goddammit, Agbede would have been amazing.

Also, I can't wait till we get to REFERENDUMS. AKA, California shows the world it's not nearly as liberal as everyone thinks, and undoes all the progress it can in one fell swoop.
« Last Edit: May 09, 2016, 02:05:44 am by Vinny Possum »

Sherman Tank

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Let's vote California! #3
Y'know, I was just thinking of looking through these guys' websites for doc material.

Yavuz

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Let's vote California! #4
Dr. Agbede's webmaster has an AOL email address. Which makes sense, because if you took out the Youtube videos and social media links, it would be a Geocities page.

Bodark

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Let's vote California! #5
There's a guy running for Oregon Governor as a Democrat and his fucking entry is about how great his invention is. It reads like something from Idea Connection instead of a political pitch.

ETA: I know it isn't California, but you guys have to see this.

« Last Edit: May 09, 2016, 04:14:14 pm by Bodark »

Digital Walnut

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Let's vote California! #6
Senate candidates.
Nickel_Nips, May 09, 2016, 12:58:56 am
How batshit is Ron Unz's statement? I haven't received my voter information pamphlet yet, but I've heard good things about him in the crazy department. He apparently campaigned against bilingual education at one point.

Nickel_Nips

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Let's vote California! #7
How batshit is Ron Unz's statement? I haven't received my voter information pamphlet yet, but I've heard good things about him in the crazy department. He apparently campaigned against bilingual education at one point.
Digital Walnut, May 09, 2016, 09:29:55 pm

Unz didn't make it into the doc but I'll look for his campaign site. You have to pay to get into the packet. I also flipped through the SF local pamphlet today but shockingly it wasn't anywhere near as crazy as usual, I wonder fi they changed eligibility rules.

Have some websites! Warning, many of these WILL autoplay music and speeches:

MY MAN AGBEDE: http://americamustregainitsgreatness2016.com/
he mayyyyyy need his own thread.

LAWS JOHNBLOG'S LAW BLOG: http://lawsforsusenate2016.com/

Ling Ling : http://wellsark.com/

Mind Slavery Lady: http://massiemunroe4ussenator.com/

Herb Peters: http://www.revival-herbpeters.com/

Evoting: http://www.jasonhanania.com/

also you're all in luck because Unz has MULTIPLE BLOGS and they're ALL RACIST:
Digital Walnut

Vinny Possum

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Let's vote California! #8
Whelp, here we go avocado munchers. Let's rock and roll.