This Is My Elected Official

[Lemon]

My Congressman's name is Keith Ellison.
Despite his absurdly Caucasian name, Keith Ellison is a practicing Sunni and the first (and still only) Muslim member of the US House of Representatives. Which is why, after first being elected, Glenn Beck demanded Keith Ellison prove to him that he was not a terrorist. Ellison has, as of this post, provided Beck with no evidence that being Muslim does not mean he's a terrorist.

Anyway, here's a video from today of Keith Ellison celebrating Minnesota's first day of legalized gay marriage.

Here is a video of Keith Ellison proposing that, seeing as how the US House of Representatives is wasting its time, they should all just go home.

Keith Ellison's district is near Michelle Bachmann's district. Because of this Michelle Bachmann was good enough to write Ellison a letter informing him that the Muslim Brotherhood are not particularly nice people, and further reminding Ellison that he's in the Muslim Brotherhood, and a terrorist, and therefore not particularly well suited to representing its people. Slate asked Ellison for a comment the day the story broke. What follows is Ellison's full response.

Ha ha ha.

That's my elected official. How about yours?

[Ike]

Many of my state's elected officials went on to become either imprisoned or the president.

[Cheapskate]

My Congressman is a former meth addict.

[Emperor Jack Chick]

I googled mine and this video came up! I feel this explains my situation.

[Acierocolotl]

In Canada, we have "Members of Parliament", abbreviated MP, which are basically the same thing.

Now, this was mine from a few years back.  The rest of you wack-ass fools bes' give up, you are beat.  Don't even fuckin' talk to me unless your MP or elected hoohaw has a rap of his own.

Yeah, boyee.

[montrith]

Every Finnish elected official.

[scratchohey]

Man, what is there to say about Texan politicians that you guys didn't know already? We make 'em real crazy down here. Ron Paul, Ted Cruz, Tom DeLay, and of course good ol' Dubya. Governor Rick Perry responded to an enormous wildfire in Bastrop a few years ago by urging people to pray for rain, then yelling at the White House to give him money to fix it. Surprisingly, gutting the Texas Forest Service to pay off the local megacorps had some serious consequences. Best of all, he's probably going to run for the Republican presidential nomination in 2016. I mean, he failed miserably in '12, but now that he can't go back to being Governor, I'm sure he's going to give it his all. He's a model Republican, and frankly, that just makes me more worried.

Of course, we have plenty of Democrats too. Our metropolitan areas are actually quite blue! We've just been gerrymandered into oblivion is all. Read up on SB 5 if you want to see what we put up with.

[icarus]

mine's a far-left lib dem, but not the annoying kind apparently. he's also bald in such a way that he looks kind of like tobias funke's less-gay brother.

his current claim to fame is introducing a bill which allows grants to train/distribute service dogs to veterans.

he also tried to prevent that whole "less money for food stamps" thing, which is kind of a double-edged sword considering the actual studies showing that mass has a lot of people claiming SNAP who are faking their need.

he also thinks people should be able to buy bullets i guess, and is not a huge fan of corporations.

so like i said, far left lib dem but not the annoying kind. his lefty causes are way more education/human rights oriented than MAKE NON ORGANIC CUCUMBERS ILLEGAL oriented. seems an okay guy. no scandles that i know of.

[Psammetichus]

My former representative is a runner with a whole bunch of records who got a Silver medal in the Olympics.

[Bobalay]

Do governors count?  Because Rick Snyder is a terrible person.



He's an ex-VP of Gateway computers and so filthy rich that he funded an ad run all over Michigan during the Super Bowl.

In the first few months of his election he cut the education budget by 8-10% and reduced social security credits to pay for a two billion dollar tax cut for corporate businesses.  He closed over twenty State Police posts, then cut State unemployment benefits down to twenty weeks, the shortest time period of any state in the US.

Detroit's been pretty big in the news lately with its bankruptcy and "Emergency Managers," but I don't know how many people know just how fucked up the EM regulations are.  EMs could override elected officials, mess with pension agreements, and even change school districts.  The only person the EM has to answer to is Rick himself.

So yeah, fuck him.

[Yossarian]

Yay Michigan!

[STOG]

My congressman is Beto O'Rourke, another in the long line of political bores from El Paso, Texas.

Beto O'Rourke once played in a band with Cedric Bixler-Zavala from At the Drive-In, and that's the only thing I like about him. Otherwise he is a turd covered in Swarvoski crystals.

Before he came to Congress, he was on the City Council as well as being on the Paso Del Norte group (a group dedicated to revitalizing El Paso, which means bulldozing homes in Segundo Barrio and putting a Wal-Mart down where they used to be. Oh yeah, and also publishing racist studies like the El Paso Glass Beach study presentation.) Also he had an Internet company while elected, Stanton Street Technologies, which also provided Internet services and web development efforts to companies, including said Paso Del Norte group. And his father-in-law is also involved with the Paso Del Norte group, so there's more than a hint of ethics violations going on there!

I have a lot of words to say about the Paso Del Norte group and how much they are ruining what is already a terrible, boring city by turning it into a debt-ridden food-and-shop spot, but that's beside the point.

Other than that, he also thinks that the War on Drugs is doing more harm than good. Hey, there's another thing I like about him! That is neat.

So in short, Beto O'Rourke is bland, but he is part of the Paso Del Norte group, so fuck him.

[Horza]

This is mine.

So good at running Government business in the House and telling the Opposition where to shove it that he kept his position under Julia Gillard despite being a Rudd supporter. Became Deputy Prime Minister when Rudd reclaimed the PMship a few weeks ago (...oh, Labor), a position normally denied members of Labor's left factions.

His electorate is so left-wing that for the last two elections the main conservative party hasn't seriously contested it. Instead Labor (centre-left) and the Greens (left-liberal) have tussled over it. I've been a Greens supporter for about the last decade, but I respect Albo and the work he's done, and I will be sorry when he departs from the scene, even if it's at our hands.

[Runic]

My senator is Saxby Chambliss. He voted for this, among many other things.

I don't like my senator very much

[Down10]

My congressperson is Nancy Pelosi.


…’Nuff said? The comments about her from various right-wing forums and websites could make for several years worth of F Plus episodes.