Title: Episode 70 - Cut to the Chaste
Post by: THE LESBIATHAN on July 19, 2019, 11:03:25 am
Shell mentioned Tips Fedora in the episode, and it occurred to me that several people may not know that Tips Fedora is a hard-boiled private dickhole investigator I sometimes use to write stories for the EC Discord. As such, I have prepared a small sample of Tips Fedora. Please, enjoy TIPS FEDORA AND THE CASE OF THE CHASTE DICK. Its marked as NSFW because, well, duh.
Tips Fedora sighed as his over zealous new hire, Dick Cage, slammed his fist down on the table. "Damnit! Don't make this harder than it has to be, you son of a bitch!"
From across the interrogation table, Octopus With Devil Sticks smiled indulgently while still completing really sick flips and tricks with his devil sticks. "But officer, I have no idea what you're talking about," said Tips Feodra's best friend, the amazing devil sticks octopod.
Dick Cage snarled in frustration; Tips Fedora could see now that this bound anger his new apprentice had was not really appropriate for this faux interrogation. Clearly, he needed some sort of release.
"Enough," said Tips Fedora in a voice full of whisky, regret, cigarettes, and compassion; his voice summoned up pictures of a misty city street shot in a tasteful black and white, while a femme fatale clung to his arm, while the intrepid Tips Fedora pointed his pistol down an alley way. "Enough," he said again, walking out from the pool of shadows he had placed himself in, his leather fedroa and long leather trenchcoat swirling in some unseen wind.
"Look," said Tips Fedora as the room became silent by degrees, "Dick, you got some real hutzpah, some real, raw magnetism, but buddy this bound heat, this bottled anger? It won't do. You need to fuck."
Dick Cage's eyes narrowed. "I will never jizz. Never again, not since the war."
Title: Episode 70 - Cut to the Chaste
Post by: chai tea latte on July 19, 2019, 12:44:26 pm
Despite all my rage / I have still got my dick in a cage
Title: Episode 70 - Cut to the Chaste
Post by: A Meat on July 19, 2019, 01:57:25 pm
my favorite cartoon as a kid was cyberchaste
also hey here's a confession: once when I came across this topic I had the reflexive thought of "wait how does that work" wrt masturbating while in a chastity belt, I looked up videos and while it doesn't seem pleasant at all, I gotta hand it to these guys, they're finding new and innovating ways to get off, and that's what we need in this economy, orgasm disruption
Title: Episode 70 - Cut to the Chaste
Post by: Shell Game on July 19, 2019, 02:30:38 pm
Title: Episode 70 - Cut to the Chaste
Post by: Wrought on July 19, 2019, 03:53:37 pm
"Hey reddit, I'm finding it difficult to sleep while wearing a large piece of metal on my penis. Any solutions to this problem that don't involve removing the large piece of metal from my penis?"
Title: Episode 70 - Cut to the Chaste
Post by: A Meat on July 19, 2019, 04:06:34 pm
"Hey reddit, I'm finding it difficult to sleep while wearing a large piece of metal on my penis. Any solutions to this problem that don't involve removing the large piece of metal from my penis?" Wrought, July 19, 2019, 03:53:37 pm
have you considered wearing a plastic penis jail
Title: Episode 70 - Cut to the Chaste
Post by: THE LESBIATHAN on July 21, 2019, 12:50:53 pm
i love phoenix wright and i love extra credit. it is a match made in heaven, i think
Title: Episode 70 - Cut to the Chaste
Post by: Ashto on July 21, 2019, 11:36:57 pm
i love phoenix wright and i love extra credit. it is a match made in heaven, i think THE LESBIATHAN, July 21, 2019, 12:50:53 pm
Julia, what are you doing?! How could you make that link but forget about the more appropriate music?!
Title: Episode 70 - Cut to the Chaste
Post by: Shell Game on July 22, 2019, 01:03:03 am
Now I gotta replay the original trilogy.
Title: Episode 70 - Cut to the Chaste
Post by: KendrickLobstar on July 26, 2019, 03:00:16 pm
well, I guess I’m gonna spend the next 24-48 hours designing a cage that looks like a motorcycle to sell on Wish.com
Title: Episode 70 - Cut to the Chaste
Post by: A Meat on August 19, 2019, 06:59:37 am
just realized, chastity belts are exclusively for sexual purposes, kind of a misnomer