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Snakes In The Ball Pit => Yay, I get to talk about me! => Topic started by: KingKalamari on April 25, 2014, 05:24:05 pm

Title: Honk the Varzandeh alarm! It's time to talk about dreams!
Post by: KingKalamari on April 25, 2014, 05:24:05 pm
Alright everybody, it's time to force each other into long, boring conversation of the totally interesting dreams we've had that you just have to hear about!

So I had this one several years ago: I do not remember anything about the majority of this dream except that at one point I was being chased by an ostrich that kept screaming "DON'T STEAL MY OSTRICH EGGS!!!" at me over and over again. After a little while of this I actually slowed down and said "Wait a minute...Ostriches can't talk". The ostrich actually seemed taken aback by this and stopped chasing me to contemplate what I'd just said...Then it immediately screamed "STOP STEALING MY OSTRICH EGGS!!!" again and continued chasing me.

I also had one a few nights ago that I'd moved into the same apartment building as my Mom and Grandma. I came home one night to find someone had dumped flour all over everything. I was then confronted by a bunch of the nice old people who lived in the building who basically just told me they were collectively gangstalking me because they were jerks and if I told anyone they'd play dumb. What the fuck old people in my dream?

What about you guys? Any particularly entertaining dreams?
Title: Honk the Varzandeh alarm! It's time to talk about dreams!
Post by: MISANDRY CANNON on April 25, 2014, 05:30:42 pm
Well it's pretty dickish to steal ostrich eggs in the first place.

Anyway no, sadly all my dreams that aren't chemically influenced are solid blocks of color. Last night I dreamed of fuchsia. The night before it was beige.
Title: Honk the Varzandeh alarm! It's time to talk about dreams!
Post by: Contaminant on April 25, 2014, 06:29:54 pm
I had one dream where a Nazi tried to convince me that being a Nazi was a great idea.

A lot of my dreams seem to be about being back in high school, being unaware of the homework I have due, and all the hallways are inexplicably large ramps that I can't climb up.  I feel that's kind of "standard dream" territory.
Title: Honk the Varzandeh alarm! It's time to talk about dreams!
Post by: Bobalay on April 25, 2014, 06:43:41 pm
I slept through my alarm this morning and dreamed for a solid half-hour about all the alarms in the house constantly buzzing even after I'd smashed them to bits. I got in the car to get away and there were two alarm clocks in the car. I think my body's telling me something.
Title: Honk the Varzandeh alarm! It's time to talk about dreams!
Post by: Tiny Prancer on April 25, 2014, 08:47:44 pm
I had almost constant nightmares until I was about seven. Some of them are super ridiculous in retrospect (one involved a giant anthropomorphic sneaker hopping down my street and I was terrified of it) and some of them are actually still pretty horrifying (one involved being in a room of people and then gunmen burst in and killed everyone, and I survived because I fell behind a crate, but they started going through the room to check for survivors...). As a result of this, even when I have horrible dreams now I'm unable to think of them as nightmares, because they don't hit the same level of unhinged terror that the dreams I had as a kid did, no matter how gory or awful they get. Everything now is just "great my brain is being awful to me again".

On a lighter note, probably the weirdest recent dream I had was one that involved another fanfiction episode of the f plus, and the terrible fanfiction my brain came up to be read on the podcast was a weird erotic muppets fanfic where everyone but kermit was dead and he went to a wizard to revive them. I am still slightly terrified that either (a) someone has already written this fanfic or (b) this means it's become my duty to write it because of mysterious and horrible ancient dream-laws.
Title: Honk the Varzandeh alarm! It's time to talk about dreams!
Post by: TheCrawlingChaos on April 26, 2014, 11:02:31 am
On a lighter note, probably the weirdest recent dream I had was one that involved another fanfiction episode of the f plus, and the terrible fanfiction my brain came up to be read on the podcast was a weird erotic muppets fanfic where everyone but kermit was dead and he went to a wizard to revive them. I am still slightly terrified that either (a) someone has already written this fanfic or (b) this means it's become my duty to write it because of mysterious and horrible ancient dream-laws.
Tiny Prancer, April 25, 2014, 08:47:44 pm

Write it under an assumed name and see if a Ridiculist stumbles across it by accident. Or indeed takes it seriously and starts a huge fan following around it. Either would be good. Well, horrible and therefore good.
Title: Honk the Varzandeh alarm! It's time to talk about dreams!
Post by: Mister Smalls on April 29, 2014, 03:37:06 pm
Last night I had a dream that took the form of an episode of Criminal Minds where the murderer was the evil twin of the quasi-autistic nerd agent played by Matthew Grey Gubler, who had a penchant for suddenly appearing behind people and talking in a monster voice.

Like all scary dreams, it sounds dumb as shit when I write it down, but it was seriously terrifying when it happened.  It woke me up hyperventilating at 3 in the morning.

Then I feel back asleep and dreamed that I won a jazz scatting competition.

Dreams are weird.
Title: Honk the Varzandeh alarm! It's time to talk about dreams!
Post by: MISANDRY CANNON on April 29, 2014, 04:04:48 pm
Last night, I dreamed of vermilion. Which for some reason was really fucking distressing to me.
Title: Honk the Varzandeh alarm! It's time to talk about dreams!
Post by: Goose Goose Honk At Me Now on April 29, 2014, 04:49:04 pm
Last night, I dreamed of vermilion.
MicroMissles, April 29, 2014, 04:04:48 pm
HP Lovecraft, is that you?
Title: Honk the Varzandeh alarm! It's time to talk about dreams!
Post by: fluffy on April 29, 2014, 05:27:05 pm
Last night I dreamed that my family lived in this weird run-down hodgepodge of a house where everything was exposed plywood and rotting plaster and whatnot and my parents thought it was perfectly okay and I shouldn't put on airs by wanting a home that's in good shape. Then I found out that I was adopted, and my sister had just been lying to me all along or something.

It was stupidly angsty and, it should go without saying, had absolutely no bearing on reality.
Title: Honk the Varzandeh alarm! It's time to talk about dreams!
Post by: Runic on April 29, 2014, 05:33:50 pm
I dreamed that the baby birds in the nest that their mother build in the wreath on my door had grown up and were learning to fly. I think I know what that one means.
Title: Honk the Varzandeh alarm! It's time to talk about dreams!
Post by: MISANDRY CANNON on April 29, 2014, 05:45:50 pm
Last night, I dreamed of vermilion.
MicroMissles, April 29, 2014, 04:04:48 pm
HP Lovecraft, is that you?
CuddlePLEASE MAKE IT STOP SNOWING, April 29, 2014, 04:49:04 pm

Not yet. I just need to be more racist and I should be well on my way though.
Title: Honk the Varzandeh alarm! It's time to talk about dreams!
Post by: Tiny Prancer on April 29, 2014, 06:01:33 pm
you also need to faint a lot
Title: Honk the Varzandeh alarm! It's time to talk about dreams!
Post by: Moriarty on April 29, 2014, 08:49:00 pm
I once had a dream where I was unsuccessfully trying to talk my mother out of buying a fedora.
Title: Honk the Varzandeh alarm! It's time to talk about dreams!
Post by: count_actuala on April 29, 2014, 08:54:42 pm
The other night I dreamed I was fighting duct tape monsters. I dreamed this so intensely that my flailing mashed my nose into the wall beside my bed and gave me a black eye. I'm an adult!
Title: Honk the Varzandeh alarm! It's time to talk about dreams!
Post by: fluffy on April 30, 2014, 03:59:45 pm
Last night I dreamed that I was going out to dinner with a coworker and I still had my car and said coworker decided to drive it to Issaquah and then he got progressively more and more feminine as he got drunker and then I had to drive back to Seattle but I'd forgotten how to drive and I think I was pregnant or something?
Title: Honk the Varzandeh alarm! It's time to talk about dreams!
Post by: junior associate faguar on May 08, 2014, 06:51:44 pm
So, you know, Tuesday.
Title: Honk the Varzandeh alarm! It's time to talk about dreams!
Post by: TheCrawlingChaos on May 09, 2014, 11:29:54 am
Right. A few of my favorite entries from the dream journal I kept for a while and keep meaning to pick back up:

To begin with, I was in a large valley somewhere in the Forgotten Realms (I guess.) I, incidentally, and all the people there with me were the PCs from [my most recent RPG] there to evacuate the valley from a huge flood. I was paddling around on an overturned table or something looking for a couple of guys who were annoyed at me on a professional level but who I felt needed saving anyway when, at some point, it shifted into the next part of the dream. I was sort of hanging out in a park-like area with [my gaming group] when I was called away to visit the house of Hitler Santa. Yes, you read that right. Just like Santa except with a Hitler mustache instead of the beard and, presumably, a penchant for fascist politics and slaughtering unpopular ethnic groups. I managed to get in well with a maid from his household who agreed to help us bring about his downfall. The dream ended with us going to watch some sort of cutesy animated Christmas special, singing Christmas carols about killing Hitler Santa all the way there. The dream ended with us arguing about whether we would have enough time to watch it all before we had to go to dinner at H.S.’s house and [my sister's ex] retrieving some of her stuff from a tree as well as trading her knife for [my sister]'s because it wouldn’t be as sharp and we… didn’t want to kill him too hard? I don’t know.

The only part I remember of this (man, I’ve got to stop saying that,) is that I was taking care of a baby. Not just a normal baby—that would be far too mundane for my subconscious. Instead, I was taking care of a baby’s severed head that was apparently going to grow a body on this little plastic stick that jutted out from the bottom of its neck. Of course dream-me saw nothing wrong/abnormal with this. Instead, I got out my MP3 player and started listening to music and was so involved with that that I didn’t notice the kid’s head roll off my lap and under the bed until the parents asked me where it was. So I ran back into my room where we’d been and found the head—the skull was cracked in a couple places, but it was still alive—and I was wondering how I’d explain this to the parents when I woke up.

It all started when 13 from House had her flunky (a perky young girl in orange scrubs with random names written on her badge) steal some drugs from House for my character. The only problem with this? Said flunky stole the entire bottle instead of just the few pills that I needed. After a long walking-down-the-hall scene with 13 which culminated in me hanging out in a patient room while Cuddy called 13 into the next one to presumably chew her out for stealing pills for me, I was trying to think of how to get the pills back to House without him noticing when the roof of the next room exploded.
The next thing we knew, I, 13, a couple of random punk kids and (I think) a few members of House’s old team found ourselves in a van, arms chained behind our backs with House’s voice in the background. Apparently the theft had finally caused him to snap and so he’d decided to play some sort of “try to escape before I destroy you all” game before presumably going on to destroy the rest of the world as well. It began with him leaving the doors open, so we immediately booked it for a nearby Smith’s (product placement? In my dream? It’s more likely than you think) for bolt cutters or something akin. While the extremely slow cashier clocked in and such we were running up and down the isles trying to find what we needed when I woke up.
Title: Honk the Varzandeh alarm! It's time to talk about dreams!
Post by: Horza on May 10, 2014, 08:44:18 pm
The Greek Football Association has nominated as the national team coach for their 2014 World Cup campaign.

Fuck.

What do I do? I don't speak Greek. I like soccer, but I can't coach.

Are they even paying me? How do I get time off work?

My neighbour is going to start talking tactics with me 24/7 and pressuring me to select players from his club.

What happens when we lose our first friendly? They're going to be so pissed with the skip running the show.

Fuck.
Title: Honk the Varzandeh alarm! It's time to talk about dreams!
Post by: 🍆 on May 11, 2014, 05:06:58 am
I had a similar dream where I was somehow drafted as a backup QB for the Packers. My thoughts kept going between "but I'm a woman" and "but I'm not even good at sports" and "but I hate the Packers". I think I spent most of my dream pretending to warm up so no one would ask me to run through drills with them or anything.
Title: Honk the Varzandeh alarm! It's time to talk about dreams!
Post by: chai tea latte on May 15, 2014, 11:30:33 am
I had a dream I was looking in my kitchen for a book of matches. I found them and then woke up.
Title: Honk the Varzandeh alarm! It's time to talk about dreams!
Post by: A Meat on May 15, 2014, 11:53:48 am
I dreamed it was tomorrow and I was playing League of Legends really badly while listening to the Mental Illness Happy Hour. I have a feeling it's going to be prophetic.
Title: Honk the Varzandeh alarm! It's time to talk about dreams!
Post by: Goose Goose Honk At Me Now on May 15, 2014, 06:00:36 pm
I woke up in a cold sweat this morning, hearing my crazy-as-fuck boss's voice telling me, "Well, to make sure you can't bake anything else wrong, I've replaced everything in the kitchen with butterscotch."
Title: Honk the Varzandeh alarm! It's time to talk about dreams!
Post by: Tiny Prancer on May 17, 2014, 12:51:42 pm
yesterday when walking to somewhere a guy behind me was talking to a friend of his how he'd dreamed that he had the ability to have an early beatles/brady bunch hairstyle, but he couldn't grow it out properly and was also still balding so it just looked super ridiculous, and he spend the rest of the dream trying to find a haircut that would work for him.

He also said he had a lot of dreams about spending hours trying to take off a coat and discovering that it was somehow still on.
Title: Honk the Varzandeh alarm! It's time to talk about dreams!
Post by: MISANDRY CANNON on May 17, 2014, 12:54:37 pm
I had a pretty intense blue dream last night.
Title: Honk the Varzandeh alarm! It's time to talk about dreams!
Post by: Tiny Prancer on May 18, 2014, 04:37:32 am
I just woke up from a dream where my family bought a new house and was planning to move in, but it also happened to be the childhood home of a friend who did not have a great relationship with their family but had attachments to the house, and also happened to be there while we started messing with the house to make it ours and was obviously upset about it, and I felt really awful because on one hand I really liked the house and was glad to be moving there but on the other hand I knew my friend didn't have a very stable life and the house meant a lot to her, and I felt really tempted to promise her she could stay there if she didn't have anywhere to go, but I also wasn't sure if my parents would be into that idea and knew it was unfair to them to make them take her in.

somehow this dream then shifted into me suddenly transferring schools (and to high school despire the fact I'm in college, because Dream Logic) and it was a overcomplicated dream logic version of a school I went to and hated, and I had no idea where my second class of the day was so I went to the library instead and tried to find books relating to a topic that may or may not have been involved with the first class I went to, and I think I was starting to become involved with some weird conspiracy theory involving the books I was looking for when I woke up.
Title: Honk the Varzandeh alarm! It's time to talk about dreams!
Post by: Shaggy2Ghosts on May 19, 2014, 06:21:57 pm
A couple night ago I had a dream that I was homeless. so I went to my best friend's house to ask if I could stay with him for awhile in order to get back on my feet. His response was that I could only stay with him if I shaved all the hair off of my body and gave it to him.
Title: Honk the Varzandeh alarm! It's time to talk about dreams!
Post by: KingKalamari on July 08, 2014, 07:55:59 pm
So last night I had this dream about some sort of Miyazaki-esque story about this boy that had to climb down a staircase in an ancient well that lead to the Underworld so he could tell Death something important. There were 108 steps and when he got to each one he had to outsmart some trial that was supposed to determine if he was really dead or not (The trials quite obviously got harder as he descended) and there were all these ghosts and skeletons as he went down farther. The best part was that this girl that was a friend of his insisted on coming with him and they smuggled her past all the ghosts by having her ride piggyback on him and they told all the dead people they were just a single person. It worked because dead people are really stupid and don't remember what living people look like.

I feel like I should do something with this...
Title: Honk the Varzandeh alarm! It's time to talk about dreams!
Post by: Isfahan on July 08, 2014, 09:28:22 pm
A couple night ago I had a dream that I was homeless. so I went to my best friend's house to ask if I could stay with him for awhile in order to get back on my feet. His response was that I could only stay with him if I shaved all the hair off of my body and gave it to him.
Unicr0n, May 19, 2014, 06:21:57 pm

A, that wasn't a dream, and B, I'm still waiting.
Title: Honk the Varzandeh alarm! It's time to talk about dreams!
Post by: junior associate faguar on July 08, 2014, 10:45:28 pm
It was election night, and I had won a seat in congress. I walked out as Have A Sad Cum by Death Grips played, and I peeled my face off like a Scooby Doo villain to reveal that I was the devil. Now that I write it out, it sounds like a really weird drug trip, but it all made perfect sense at the time.
Title: Honk the Varzandeh alarm! It's time to talk about dreams!
Post by: Tiny Prancer on July 09, 2014, 01:51:46 am
that's the best fucking dream I've ever heard about
Title: Honk the Varzandeh alarm! It's time to talk about dreams!
Post by: Psammetichus on July 09, 2014, 01:59:36 am
Now that I write it out, it sounds like a really weird drug trip, but it all made perfect sense at the time.
Sinestro, July 08, 2014, 10:45:28 pm

american_politics_2014.txt
Title: Honk the Varzandeh alarm! It's time to talk about dreams!
Post by: Sion on July 15, 2014, 05:16:09 pm
I've had a lot of weird, surreal, and recurring scary dreams ever since I was a child. I can distinctly remember most of them.

I think the most interesting one is based on this.
The part at 7 seconds in is the only bit that actually matters. The nightmare involved running away from (apparently really fucking fast) slugs that chased me, and when I hit a dead end, they jumped onto my hands and started crawling into my fingernails.

It's safe to say that this was really unnerving.


The most recurring one I've had as a child involves being at a public library with my mother and older brother. We would split up and at some point I would end up fencing this [stereotypical] French magician guy while my brother flew in a toy airplane overhead. At some point in the fight he would claim, "you are a baby" and then I would be in my mother's arms as a baby at the apartment we lived in at the time. She would set me down onto a table and I would proceed to eat her head off.

As I mentioned, these sort of dreams still occur to me, and they last years at a time before I'll come up with new ones. They seem to have minor changes every time and I can recall waking up in cold sweats or even crying sometimes. I have some more I could talk about, but they're more vague and not as interesting.