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Projects => The F Plus => Topic started by: Lemon on November 10, 2014, 03:10:19 pm

Title: Episode 154: Witchyhow.com
Post by: Lemon on November 10, 2014, 03:10:19 pm
with Boots Raingear, Jack Chick, Jimmyfranks, Bunnybread, Adam Bozarth, and Lemon.

CONTENT FOR THIS EPISODE WAS COMPILED BY A MEAT
EDITED BY JIMMYFRANKS.

We've done some other magick episodes, but we haven't yet learned the spell that causes any of this to make sense, so we're gonna keep at it. This time, it's PaganLore.com, another one man website with a bunch of poorly written spell instructions and appalling web design choices. This'll be the one where it all makes sense, I'm sure. This week, The F Plus needs to consult with our VCR.
Title: Episode 154: Witchyhow.com
Post by: THE CURSE OF THE WITCH OF THE MUMMY'S TOMB on November 10, 2014, 03:46:55 pm
I <3 SPELLS
Title: Episode 154: Witchyhow.com
Post by: A Meat on November 10, 2014, 05:31:34 pm
As far as I can tell, the reason why everything feels so incomplete and disjointed is that some of the spells seem to have only been copied part-way from wherever they're being copied, since Paganlore seems to be one person's attempt at some sort of pagan magic database. That one person has a very poor grasp of the core concepts of web design.

I have a "fun" (no fun guaranteed) story about how I found this mess of a website, and it has to do with video games and Norse mythology, but this description of the story is probably more entertaining that the actual story, so I'll leave it at that.
Title: Episode 154: Witchyhow.com
Post by: BomberJacket on November 10, 2014, 05:34:10 pm
Yay! I caught that bit about the pee!

On another note, would sex with cars be too gross for the podcast? I've recently stumbled upon a few priceless forums, Yahoo Answers questions, and an amazing piece of furry car erotica / green energy pitch.
Title: Episode 154: Witchyhow.com
Post by: Sherlockian on November 10, 2014, 05:40:32 pm
The bit about computers reminded me of something that happened the bay area pagan convention-- There was a panelist who was supposed to be doing a workshop on making your home a ritually pure space. During this workshop she suggested both that you spray salt water into your computer casing to "purify" it, and to spread salt on your lawn to "purify" THAT. Unsurprisingly, she was not allowed to instruct workshops ever again.

I love pagan bullshit, I really do.
Title: Episode 154: Witchyhow.com
Post by: jack chick on November 10, 2014, 06:32:44 pm
Yay! I caught that bit about the pee!

On another note, would sex with cars be too gross for the podcast? I've recently stumbled upon a few priceless forums, Yahoo Answers questions, and an amazing piece of furry car erotica / green energy pitch.
BomberJacket, November 10, 2014, 05:34:10 pm

Make a doc, dude! You never know!
Title: Episode 154: Witchyhow.com
Post by: Isfahan on November 10, 2014, 08:31:18 pm
During this workshop she suggested both that you spray salt water into your computer casing to "purify" it, and to spread salt on your lawn to "purify" THAT.Werelockian, November 10, 2014, 05:40:32 pm

Purification is oxidization, got it.
Title: Episode 154: Witchyhow.com
Post by: One Of The Crappy Pokemon That Nobody Likes on November 10, 2014, 09:24:55 pm
Yay! I caught that bit about the pee!

On another note, would sex with cars be too gross for the podcast? I've recently stumbled upon a few priceless forums, Yahoo Answers questions, and an amazing piece of furry car erotica / green energy pitch.
BomberJacket, November 10, 2014, 05:34:10 pm

Make a doc, dude! You never know!
some metal dude, November 10, 2014, 06:32:44 pm

There was an utterly nuts BBC documentary on carfuckers and it was one of the most bizarre things I'd ever seen. So yeah, this sounds like the kind of subject that'd make for a good doc!
Title: Episode 154: Witchyhow.com
Post by: Acierocolotl on November 10, 2014, 09:29:33 pm
All I'm gonna add is the car website I read calls these carfuckers "dragons" and their act is "dragoning".
Title: Episode 154: Witchyhow.com
Post by: BomberJacket on November 10, 2014, 09:35:37 pm
All I'm gonna add is the car website I read calls these carfuckers "dragons" and their act is "dragoning".
Acierocolotl, November 10, 2014, 09:29:33 pm

Thanks for the tip. I've actually had some trouble finding the forums these guys use. That also explains why one of the things I found was called "Dekhyr Dragon's Guide to Sex with Cars (for males)"
Title: Episode 154: Witchyhow.com
Post by: a gross spider on November 10, 2014, 09:55:00 pm
This episode goes beautifully with the latest episode of the Dollop, wherein Jack Parsons and sex majiycke are discussed.
Title: Episode 154: Witchyhow.com
Post by: Nemo2342 on November 10, 2014, 11:25:11 pm
I just want to say that you guys were wrong; Batman isn't to the north, it's Alfred Pennyworth.
Title: Episode 154: Witchyhow.com
Post by: Tiny Prancer on November 11, 2014, 05:49:49 am
Yay! I caught that bit about the pee!

On another note, would sex with cars be too gross for the podcast? I've recently stumbled upon a few priceless forums, Yahoo Answers questions, and an amazing piece of furry car erotica / green energy pitch.
BomberJacket, November 10, 2014, 05:34:10 pm

There was an episode where a dude made up a story about shoving maggots inside his own dick for erotic reasons, I think carfucking is probably not too gross for the podcast.
Title: Episode 154: Witchyhow.com
Post by: A Meat on November 11, 2014, 06:38:13 am
I almost forgot, I also found the site Joelle's Sacred Grove (http://www.joellessacredgrove.com/contents.html) after I finished the document for this episode. It has a bunch more of Pagan/Wiccan stuff, and also worse site design.

I don't feel like mining it, but if anybody else cares to check if there's anything worthwhile, give it a shot.
Title: Episode 154: Witchyhow.com
Post by: BomberJacket on November 11, 2014, 07:39:18 am
Every time I hear that unique pronunciation of "magick", all I can think of is "You're a loose cannon, McGick!"
Title: Episode 154: Witchyhow.com
Post by: Ambious on November 11, 2014, 02:27:13 pm
(http://www.politusic.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/socialized-emotion.jpg)
Title: Episode 154: Witchyhow.com
Post by: KingKalamari on November 11, 2014, 06:25:57 pm
I'm surprised no one picked up on Adam's masterful Wiccapedia pun at the end there.
Title: Episode 154: Witchyhow.com
Post by: Down10 on November 11, 2014, 11:04:38 pm
This was touched upon briefly, but Lemon raises the issue that most the problems that need spells aren't practical things, but petty trifles. I myself noticed the problems seem to be those that most greatly affect teenage girls, or more precisely, cat-hoarding old maids. The spell of vengeance against gossipy neighbors made me laugh heartily.

Also, I want Bunnybread in every episode to read the featured sites' about page as a commercial radio spot. Slays me every time.
Title: Episode 154: Witchyhow.com
Post by: montrith on November 12, 2014, 01:46:50 am
(http://alt-sites.tripod.com/pictures/guided_to_genious.gif)
Title: Episode 154: Witchyhow.com
Post by: Isfahan on November 12, 2014, 06:36:34 am
it looks like a boob bleeding from the nip

but then I see boobs in everything
Title: Episode 154: Witchyhow.com
Post by: Lemon on November 12, 2014, 08:12:43 am
I saw a vulva.

Says something about both us us, I suppose.
Title: Episode 154: Witchyhow.com
Post by: Fatty Bo Batty on November 12, 2014, 10:56:47 am
This is the worst Rorschach test.
Title: Episode 154: Witchyhow.com
Post by: Agent Coop Time! on November 12, 2014, 01:18:09 pm
looks like a drippy butthole to me.
Title: Episode 154: Witchyhow.com
Post by: Goose Goose Honk At Me Now on November 12, 2014, 01:39:04 pm
looks like a drippy butthole to me.
AgentCoop, November 12, 2014, 01:18:09 pm
I see a butt with an eye. Kind of like Bump's reading at FPL3.
Title: Episode 154: Witchyhow.com
Post by: Tiny Prancer on November 12, 2014, 09:11:32 pm
I saw a one-eyed person waving their hands in the air like they just don't care but it probably means I haven't had my childlike sense of wonder stamped out of me yet by the horrors of the internet
Title: Episode 154: Witchyhow.com
Post by: montrith on November 13, 2014, 12:33:03 am
See, it's working. You're already having "genious" ideas!.
Title: Episode 154: Witchyhow.com
Post by: nigeline on November 13, 2014, 04:23:11 am
I saw a vulva.

Says something about both us us, I suppose.
Lemon, November 12, 2014, 08:12:43 am

No, you're right; it's definitely a vulva leaking ... something ...
Title: Episode 154: Witchyhow.com
Post by: scratchohey on November 13, 2014, 11:44:08 am
Three-second Quake logo. Easy.
Title: Episode 154: Witchyhow.com
Post by: count_actuala on November 13, 2014, 03:59:53 pm
Three-second Quake logo. Easy.
scratchohey, November 13, 2014, 11:44:08 am
This guy knows what's up.
Title: Episode 154: Witchyhow.com
Post by: LINDA on November 14, 2014, 01:31:36 pm
According to the most reasonable so-called witch I've encountered online, "magic" is just a process by which you formalize your wants to help guide yourself towards a goal. Which I kind of understand, to a point. The part that gets me, though, is why anyone would need (or WANT to need) rainwater from three different continents and a 2 hour chant to tell yourself to focus on being more productive at work. Instead of like, a sticky note on your desk. That's my biggest peeve with so much about the subjects in so many episodes and with people in real life. Do you really need to wade through this ridiculous performance to get to your fundamentally simple end goal? Apparently shoving a 40 up your ass and telling your friend to suck out the ghost is more reasonable than asking your spouse to be more adventurous in bed.

I also learned from this person that there is indeed catty scrutiny and elitism between the less obviously-greedy-and-lazy-teenagers witches. Time to hunt for highlights.
Title: Episode 154: Witchyhow.com
Post by: Tiny Prancer on November 14, 2014, 03:27:57 pm
From my experiences with new-age mysticism and a brief interest in wicca (which I gave up on because jesus christ there are so many rituals and stuff you're expected to practice when you practice wicca) It usually comes up a LOT that asking for specific things, especially things that would benefit you (such as a relationship with a specific person or gain of money) will result in monkey's paw style situations where getting the thing you wanted will result in some sort of tragedy, like the person you wanted to be in the relationship will be abusive or the money you gain will be through the death of a family member. Thinking back on it, while the main focus is on "make wishes for vague positive things to happen" and that's not inherently bad it also sets up this scenario where (a) if anything positive happens it can easily be attributed to being because you did those practices and if they don't happen you're easily convinced that it means you didn't do those practices hard enough, and (b) a lot of the mindset behind "if I wish for something specific it will make it happen through means I don't want" involves a lot of focus on the idea that the person making the wish is then to blame for anything horrible that happens, which is an interesting combination of self-centeredness and victim-blaming, because it assumes that X happens BECAUSE of you and is YOUR FAULT specifically.

Like, as a specific example, I remember being told a story by one of my martial arts teachers who was very involved in native american spirituality that he had a friend who wished for his mother to be cured of her alcoholism, and she then fell down the stairs and broke her neck and died, and that was supposed to mean his wish was "granted" because she couldn't drink when she was dead. Thinking back on it all I can think about is how horrifying it is that that man not only had the pain of his mother dying but was convinced he personally caused her death. Not like this is totally specific to new age stuff, of course, because I remember hearing from someone watching a documentary that there was a story from a prisoner who became a devout christian that when he was jailed his infant sons were killed and he took it as meaning that god had killed them to punish him.
Title: Episode 154: Witchyhow.com
Post by: Caroline on November 18, 2014, 09:37:29 am
I've only just started listening to this one and it's already making me laugh like I'm trying to dislodge a kidney. Man, pagans are great.
Title: Episode 154: Witchyhow.com
Post by: Kinjaav on May 25, 2019, 11:00:18 am
A woman in Utah found a witch ball. (https://www.facebook.com/53413714159/posts/10155894972524160?sfns=mo)