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Projects => The F Plus => Topic started by: crow on April 16, 2014, 09:10:03 pm

Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: crow on April 16, 2014, 09:10:03 pm
Post your favorite F Plus quotes!  I'll start.

"I am beset by the inequities of sin, and holy shit my dick is huge"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Mister Smalls on April 16, 2014, 09:52:08 pm
every day I'm hoboin' hoboin' hoboin' hoboin'
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Mathrandir on April 16, 2014, 09:56:21 pm
The best one I remember is

"Be less of a skank and more of a skunk Squiddy"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: McMillan and Waifu on April 16, 2014, 11:09:20 pm
That's so funny, my confirmation name is also Mingo.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: nigeline on April 17, 2014, 02:23:45 am
The best one I remember is

"Be less of a skank and more of a skunk Squiddy"
Mesondras, April 16, 2014, 09:56:21 pm
To add to the Portaxx love, I also adore "Fat the Power!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: KingKalamari on April 17, 2014, 04:37:09 pm
"I am a MASTURBATING WIZARD!!!"
-JimmyFranks
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: hautecouture on April 17, 2014, 05:19:25 pm
The best one I remember is

"Be less of a skank and more of a skunk Squiddy"
Mesondras, April 16, 2014, 09:56:21 pm
To add to the Portaxx love, I also adore "Fat the Power!"
nigeline, April 17, 2014, 02:23:45 am
"Anglosphere? Isn't that just a term for fat white guy?"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Tiny Prancer on April 17, 2014, 06:05:06 pm
"In the land of dragon dildos, is the chin-wattle man king?" is an obvious one, but it's really the level of wide-eyed confusion and terror that it's said with that makes it so good.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: crow on April 17, 2014, 08:40:22 pm
"BO DARK"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Mister Smalls on April 18, 2014, 07:15:38 pm
"BO DARK"
Smoking Crow, April 17, 2014, 08:40:22 pm
I occasionally go back to that episode just for "i thought we agree, small gifts this year.  i get her rock.  you get her xbox., make me look bad."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: KingKalamari on April 18, 2014, 07:38:40 pm
"You masturbate to WEIRD things"

Still one of my favourites and probably the one I use most frequently in my day to day life
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Bobalay on April 18, 2014, 07:53:20 pm
"What's up! My butt is sore!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: zmonbobbo on April 19, 2014, 10:20:49 pm
"Whut time is et in Amer'ca?"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: 🍆 on April 20, 2014, 01:47:41 am
I can't remember what it was, I think it might have been a recent episode (or one I relistened to recently) but Lemon described something as sounding like an outtake from Gummo. It was the perfect reference.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Goose Goose Honk At Me Now on April 20, 2014, 01:51:03 am
"DO NOT MAKE FUN OF JEREMY FERNANDEZ! HE IS A WONDERFUL MAN ABOVE YOUR MOCKERY! SCUMBAAAG!"
"Is this his cousin or something?"
"ABSOLUTELY I AM"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Cat Planet on April 20, 2014, 02:43:29 pm
"It takes seven skilled wizards to stun one" from the Bad Dragon episode, probably because it's followed by the most hysterical laughter in this podcast.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: STOG on April 21, 2014, 12:44:41 am
HELLO HARLEM GLOBETROTTERS! ZACK MORRIS KILLED MY GIRLFRIEND!!!!!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: nigeline on April 21, 2014, 02:13:26 am
"fucking CHAIRS"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Locclo on April 21, 2014, 01:06:48 pm
"Lisa said in her womanly voice...as opposed to her masculine voice."

(Deep, raspy voice) "Oh Screech."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Adam Bozarth on April 21, 2014, 07:55:57 pm
"I think nothing but positive thoughts all day, and now I have a wife made entirely of water."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Mister Smalls on April 21, 2014, 09:08:55 pm
Probably the most useful thing ever said on The F Plus (and something that I continue to quote to people in my everyday life) is "This is the Internet, and there's no such thing as drawing a distinction between two things."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: count_actuala on April 22, 2014, 04:46:45 pm
KULU LIMPAH MOTHERFUCKERS
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Ambious on April 22, 2014, 05:06:02 pm
"One day we'll invent a dildo that can fit inside of a pussy"
-Lemon

"Yaaaaaaayyyyy"
-Everyone, but mostly Lemon
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Ansemaru on April 22, 2014, 06:25:42 pm
"BO DARK"
Smoking Crow, April 17, 2014, 08:40:22 pm
I occasionally go back to that episode just for "i thought we agree, small gifts this year.  i get her rock.  you get her xbox., make me look bad."
Mister Smalls, April 18, 2014, 07:15:38 pm
That bit is also a favorite for me because it always reminds me of the end of this video


"NOW SASQUATCH CAN PLAY HALO 3!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: One Of The Crappy Pokemon That Nobody Likes on April 22, 2014, 07:45:50 pm
"Yeah well I know of some other people who had a lot of rules about what you can and can not say...

...

... they were also fat."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Lemon on April 23, 2014, 08:35:10 pm
"At what point may I begin to fart in front of my girlfriend?" will always get me.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Boots Raingear on April 23, 2014, 08:59:03 pm
"Penises want to bleed. It's just their natural state."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Ambious on April 28, 2014, 07:08:34 pm
*point to schlong*
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Mister Smalls on April 28, 2014, 10:40:01 pm
"Now Hanvjor, when you get off the boat in America you must say this thing that I must teach you, to get to the hotel.  'Jonas Brothers are penis'..."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: STOG on April 29, 2014, 10:03:19 am
"That's the emotional journey your balls should be on."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: count_actuala on April 29, 2014, 11:30:23 am
My favorite quote is currently any and all wordless scream of frustration Lemon makes.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Mighty Dicktron on April 30, 2014, 02:51:06 am
"HOW?? HOW CAN YOU BE DISCONNECTED FROM 3D WHILE YOUR 3D HAND IS JERKING YOUR 3D PENIS"

bring JT back on the show
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Zsa Zsa on April 30, 2014, 07:09:34 am
How does this happen? How does this happen!?
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Boots Raingear on April 30, 2014, 07:34:12 am
bring JT back on the show
Mighty Dicktron, April 30, 2014, 02:51:06 am

Okay.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Contaminant on April 30, 2014, 08:07:32 am
Shaun11.   never forget.

My doppleganger told me to take a dirigible ride to the Bahamas and that's not even possible.

Portaxx's THANKS after the make food spell
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: nilvoid on April 30, 2014, 02:19:57 pm
bring JT back on the show
Mighty Dicktron, April 30, 2014, 02:51:06 am

I agree, bring Justin Timberlake back on SNL

My favorites are probably the laughter following Lemon reading the name "abortionisillegal123" in the debate episode and, from the second Allrecipes episode, the ennui in Boots' voice when he reads, "...you pour the macaroni into the cheese mixture and you...you fuckin eat it."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: nigeline on April 30, 2014, 03:20:00 pm
"HOW?? HOW CAN YOU BE DISCONNECTED FROM 3D WHILE YOUR 3D HAND IS JERKING YOUR 3D PENIS"

bring JT back on the show
Mighty Dicktron, April 30, 2014, 02:51:06 am
best ever
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Mister Smalls on April 30, 2014, 06:06:40 pm
"oh, so he's a hand-to-hand hypnosis... fuck- fuckin' guy."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Bobalay on April 30, 2014, 07:36:37 pm
"CBT? Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is a bit of an outlier in there."

"It's Cock and Ball Torture, I think."

And then a very disappointed groan from Bumpgrrl.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Mister Smalls on May 01, 2014, 05:33:03 pm
"I get the feeling that if this review were written an hour later it would have been set to Sanford and Son."

"'You big dummy!  It has an infectious vocal hook!'"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: crow on May 01, 2014, 06:20:42 pm
"I'm a dragonkin."

"Yahtzee!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: count_actuala on May 01, 2014, 06:36:55 pm
"No no no. No no. It is a gaint."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Goose Goose Honk At Me Now on May 01, 2014, 08:16:54 pm
"WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU GOIN'? YOU PUT YOUR CONTROLLER ON YOUR HIP CIP!!!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Bobalay on May 01, 2014, 08:23:17 pm
Lemon mispronouncing things in a fit of excitement is always great. "YOU ARE NOW COMPLETELY WRAPPED IN FLIM-FUCK!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: count_actuala on May 01, 2014, 09:16:43 pm
HIP CIP
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Adam Bozarth on May 01, 2014, 09:39:52 pm
"oh, so he's a hand-to-hand hypnosis... fuck- fuckin' guy."
Mister Smalls, April 30, 2014, 06:06:40 pm
Proud moments.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: 🍆 on May 02, 2014, 01:51:45 am
STOG: "[dismayed wordless scream-groan]"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Navigator on May 04, 2014, 12:24:38 am
I think "BOY MEAT" is gonna be one of those things I suddenly think about at work and start laughing, like Kumquat's "NAAOooowww" from the pop culrure pagan episode.

"Okay, I'm 1+1=2...that's the first correct statement we've had on this site."

"What makes it limited edition?"
"SHUT YOUR FUCKIN' FACE."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Isfahan on May 04, 2014, 08:44:35 am
"Now Hanvjor, when you get off the boat in America you must say this thing that I must teach you, to get to the hotel.  'Jonas Brothers are penis'..."
Mister Smalls, April 28, 2014, 10:40:01 pm

I remember saying this, but not the episode where I said it. Which one was this?
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Contaminant on May 04, 2014, 09:05:41 am
One of the early Youtube shorts (http://thefpl.us/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=45%3Athe-bonanza-of-shorts&catid=1%3Apodcasts&Itemid=1), probably Here Comes The Metalheads.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Adam Bozarth on May 04, 2014, 08:24:39 pm
"I agree with posts 1 and 2, especially the part about sniffing ass"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Cat Planet on May 06, 2014, 02:40:11 am
"Semicolons make everything into good grammar"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Ansemaru on May 07, 2014, 05:36:38 am
"It's ribs! For nihilists!" as well as "Open up! It's the police! For kids!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Navigator on May 12, 2014, 08:13:58 am
"Myyyy name is Michael Barrier, and my brain is so large that my head won't fit on your screen."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Mister Smalls on May 12, 2014, 12:41:31 pm
"I have kissed my wife's feet on trains, on aeroplanes, OF COURSE I'M BRITISH, WHAT THE FUCK!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: junior associate faguar on May 15, 2014, 01:36:23 am
Which episode was "It's like you went to the fetish buffet and said 'I'll take everything'" from?
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: nigeline on May 15, 2014, 03:31:21 am
I am in love with how the infomercial line has become a recurring joke.  Very few of the episodes involve people agonizing that "there's gotta be a better way!!!!".
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: JT on May 18, 2014, 05:18:48 am
bring JT back on the show
Mighty Dicktron, April 30, 2014, 02:51:06 am

Okay.
Boots Raingear, April 30, 2014, 07:34:12 am
Take me off the bench, coach! I'm ready!

On topic: Surprised nobody's brought up "I'M SKINNY! GOODBYE!" yet. It's just funny in general whenever someone is like "help I have a problem" and then someone else's entire response is "I don't have that problem!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: nigeline on May 18, 2014, 09:42:05 am
bring JT back on the show
Mighty Dicktron, April 30, 2014, 02:51:06 am

Okay.
Boots Raingear, April 30, 2014, 07:34:12 am
Take me off the bench, coach! I'm ready!

On topic: Surprised nobody's brought up "I'M SKINNY! GOODBYE!" yet. It's just funny in general whenever someone is like "help I have a problem" and then someone else's entire response is "I don't have that problem!"
JT, May 18, 2014, 05:18:48 am
Best Jack Chick voice ever!

I'll second the motion for JT's return. The FPlus needs more boners.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: One Of The Crappy Pokemon That Nobody Likes on May 20, 2014, 12:37:35 am
Victor reading Lady Gaga lyrics in a deadpan voice will always be fantastic, but I haven't listened to episodes in so long that I can't remember when he did it. HALP!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Mister Smalls on May 20, 2014, 01:10:15 am
It was the dream monster cockysis episode with Cheapskate.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Isfahan on May 20, 2014, 06:28:15 am
The bit where Victor read the lyrics to Lady Gaga's "Judas" was from a cut segment where, instead of talking about dreams, someone was ranting about Lady Gaga being an Illuminati propagandist/mass hypnotizer and all the Illuminati symbolism in her videos and song lyrics like "Judas," which Victor then looked up and read. It was too good to leave out entirely.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Sherlockian on May 21, 2014, 12:48:08 pm
"Sound familiar...? It will, IN HILLARY CLINTON'S AMERICA!" cracks me up every time.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Mister Smalls on May 23, 2014, 09:18:19 pm
"In the room tonight we have Boots Raingear!"
"Is there any treatment of pubic hair that is wrong?  Definitely.  One thing about which there can be no debate is the evil of stubble."
*hysterical laughter in the distance*
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Fanzay on June 13, 2014, 04:49:46 am
"This Troper has been eliminated, but the Chlamydia still burns."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: 🍆 on June 13, 2014, 11:04:55 am
"How about Lleh? It's Hell, backwards!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: John Toast on June 13, 2014, 07:57:19 pm
"GOOOOO TO JAIL!!!"

I forget which episode that's from, but Lemon yelling that out after Boots reading a guy's information kills me.

Also Portaxx's reaction to "pain in my knackers are driving me crackers!" in the poetry episode.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Lemon on June 13, 2014, 11:15:15 pm
Also Portaxx's reaction to "pain in my knackers are driving me crackers!" in the poetry episode.
John Toast, June 13, 2014, 07:57:19 pm
That reading also has my favorite Isfahan laugh recorded.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Goose Goose Honk At Me Now on June 14, 2014, 12:31:10 pm
In the first food episode, Acier's "it's a quick way to dress up plain corn chi--...whaaat?" is the only time I've ever heard him falter while reading nonsense and I laugh every single time.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Haydon on June 18, 2014, 02:01:24 pm
"Well, you know how academia is. You either publish - or piss."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Cheapskate on June 18, 2014, 03:42:22 pm
"Fuck a table made of knives? Why not?!?"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Tetriphile on June 27, 2014, 07:50:00 pm
I think my all-time favourites are probably:

"Your fictional world is worse than the one we live in, where Happy Dave has his own street team."

and

"Would anyone like to tie me up and force me to be a clown? Well, this is Fetlife, so yes, all of us."

Also, John just reading out the list of sexual positions in, hmm, one of the first few episodes, maybe?
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: montrith on June 27, 2014, 09:03:13 pm
Whenever one of the ridiculists gets told "You're the Portaxx of this episode" and they immediately respond with an enthusiastic "YAY!".
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: KingKalamari on June 27, 2014, 10:25:20 pm
"Well I guess I'm gay now. Yum yum yum, gimme the dick"

"No that's not me man: No hobo"

"Are you going to cut my balls off?"
"...If I have to to get you on a horse"

"I like how the stupid kind of cancels it out because that guy called it 'sex power' and this person, who's also stupid, knew exactly what he was talking about: 'Oh yeah, sex power. I know what that is'."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Goose Goose Honk At Me Now on June 29, 2014, 08:24:34 am
"Wilf Britzel doesn't want you to know the truth!!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Boots Raingear on June 29, 2014, 09:22:21 am
I heard "Wilt Pretzel".
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: AlbieQuirky on June 30, 2014, 08:05:16 am
"You suck at reading names."
"Fuck you, Bots Raingurr!"

was one of my favorite moments in ep 141.

Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Cleft Uppercut on June 30, 2014, 09:23:34 pm
Adam's intro to the F-list episode "yea, thats how i say it when i'm turned on" kills me every time.  I also love portaxx in the multiples episode, "the people in my head are sad" "no they're not" "mneeiiieuuughhghhhhhh!!!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: crow on July 04, 2014, 11:14:11 pm
"Oh!  The mad scientist mixologist who put bitters in a gin and tonic!  You madman!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: nigeline on July 05, 2014, 03:28:47 am
"Oh!  The mad scientist mixologist who put bitters in a gin and tonic!  You madman!"
Smoking Crow, July 04, 2014, 11:14:11 pm
People who think that bitters alone makes a creative cocktail make me mad. (Not that they're not delicious.)
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: STOG on July 05, 2014, 09:13:21 am
It's not technically a quote, but Adam doing a "UH-YUP" during his reading of Juggernaut Lonely is basically like pushing a button that says "MAKE STOG GIDDY".
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Nemo2342 on July 06, 2014, 11:10:46 pm
This paragraph might as well be 'Our Boner Killers' - Lemon, in the Pokegirls episode
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Ansemaru on July 10, 2014, 12:28:07 am
"You know what I'm gay for? I'm gay for America. And Werther's Originals."

STOG, in the episode "A Conservative Estimate"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Adam Bozarth on July 12, 2014, 12:28:27 am
"The story revolves around 4 young students who meet during high school and have adventures that involve zombies, aliens, river serpents, evil organizations, and some seriously skewed villains."
"Oh, you had me 'til you left out bacon."

BUNNYBREAD4LYFE
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: TacoChillocko on July 12, 2014, 10:58:49 pm
Pretty much the whole MRA ep when it got to the carousel bit

"Faster, do you want it to go faster?"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: 🍆 on July 12, 2014, 11:49:56 pm
I love Lemon in the movie episode. "What the hell are you TALKING ABOUT, Stephanie?"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Fatty Bo Batty on July 16, 2014, 09:31:54 am
I sold my brother on The F Plus based solely on Lemon's "Hey bitch, why don't you buy her A MOTHERFUCKING BOOK?!?" from the Mothering/ Unschooling episode.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Mister Smalls on July 16, 2014, 04:13:14 pm
"Mommy, mommy!  Daddy's got out the speech peppermint again!"
"I CAN'T TALK WITHOUT IT"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Sion on July 29, 2014, 04:26:19 pm
"With a sweaty brow and a greasy smile, Lemon grabbed his 10-inch cock and said..."
"BUNNYBREAD!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Ambious on July 31, 2014, 08:21:38 am
"FUCK YOU, FUCK YOUR WHOLE FAMILY!"
-Lemon, forgot when but probably a lot.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: 🍆 on July 31, 2014, 01:53:10 pm
FUCK THE TOWN YOU GREW UP IN
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Fanzay on August 01, 2014, 11:45:11 am
"FUCK YOU, FUCK YOUR WHOLE FAMILY!"
-Lemon, forgot when but probably a lot.
Ambious, July 31, 2014, 08:21:38 am
That was from the "stickers to end racism" thing right?

The gamers' chip magazine joke in the Ideas-forum episode nearly killed me!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: STOG on August 02, 2014, 08:21:40 pm
"FUCK YOU, FUCK YOUR WHOLE FAMILY!"
-Lemon, forgot when but probably a lot.
Ambious, July 31, 2014, 08:21:38 am
That was from the "stickers to end racism" thing right?

The gamers' chip magazine joke in the Ideas-forum episode nearly killed me!
Fanzay, August 01, 2014, 11:45:11 am

YOU CAN STILL SNACK WHILE YOU HAVE A CHAT

GAMER'S CHIP magazine (A BAG magazine YOU HOOK ONTO YOUR BELT SO YOUR POTATO CHIPS STAY ACCESSIBLE AND FRESH, BECAUSE THERE IS NOTHING MORE HORRIFYING THAN A BAG FULL OF STALE POTATO CHIPS THAT IS OUT OF ARM'S REACH)
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: JamEngulfer on August 05, 2014, 01:17:35 am
I'm surprised nobody's posted this one:

It's in The Ace and Cakes episode, where Stogg pronounces '111' as "One hundred and one-y one".

That has got to be one of my favourite F+ moments ever just for how delayed everyone's reactions were as they realised just how ridiculous it was.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Nyarai on August 05, 2014, 12:42:11 pm
From a recipe episode, when Jack Chick read about "ZE MICROWAVE ROUX."

JohnToast: Somewhere, a French chef just shot himself in the head.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Tiny Prancer on August 20, 2014, 01:45:28 pm
this isn't entirely appropriate for this thread, but it's the best place I could think of to put it. a friend of mine is a big fplus fan and she posted this exchange she had with her sister:

sis: what are you listening to

me: this podcast where they read really awful shit people post on the internet

sis: …i’m intrigued

lemon: so this thread is titled “how to drink my own cum”.

me: ARE YOU STILL INTRIGUED?

sis: no. not anymore. im leaving now

she regrets not making her sister listen to the clingfilm episode
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Isfahan on August 20, 2014, 09:06:34 pm
The adult baby episode is among the worst lead-in episodes for new listeners! Always lead in with clingfilm!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: count_actuala on August 21, 2014, 10:05:26 am
Come for the clingfilm, stay for the hip magazine.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: SATAN MILKSHAKE on August 21, 2014, 02:52:45 pm
The adult baby episode is among the worst lead-in episodes for new listeners! Always lead in with clingfilm!
Isfahan, August 20, 2014, 09:06:34 pm

You always want to lead off with

AT WHAT POINT MAY I BEGIN TO FART IN FRONT OF MY GIRLFRIEND?
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: nigeline on August 21, 2014, 05:39:24 pm
The adult baby episode is among the worst lead-in episodes for new listeners! Always lead in with clingfilm!
Isfahan, August 20, 2014, 09:06:34 pm

You always want to lead off with

AT WHAT POINT MAY I BEGIN TO FART IN FRONT OF MY GIRLFRIEND?
EYE OF ZA, August 21, 2014, 02:52:45 pm
Especially since it has music by The Muffs.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Celebeast on September 16, 2014, 09:38:51 am
"Vodka Cringe, you need to sashay away..." - Toast

"...they forgot who pay for the games and who let them fill their wallets by money." - Boots (the accent gets me every time "A-chieve-mant")

""Surprise!" Riker said as he boned young Wesley up the ass." - Jimmyfranks
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: applecake on September 16, 2014, 07:32:57 pm
eudo likes to introduce people to the podcast with the adult babies, which was how I was taken in. A little event comes out of it, like watching The Room and Birdemic in a marathon run. Funnily enough, I think most of the people in our friend group who were introduced that way still listen to the episodes...

But on topic, some of my faves:

Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Runic on September 16, 2014, 09:23:13 pm
I saw Portaxx once. Her hair was made of spun diamonds and instead of normal clothing she wore a robe woven out of live voles. Her eyes were both scarlet and emerald at the same time. They kind of hurt to look at. She can tell who is and is not an otherkin because in her presence all otherkin spontaneously start to sweat cheap vodka. Her voice was as fierce as the storm and as calm as the placid waters. Also, it sounded a bit like a dude's.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Isfahan on September 16, 2014, 09:31:48 pm
Wait, what's that from?
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: One Of The Crappy Pokemon That Nobody Likes on September 16, 2014, 09:32:54 pm
Wait, what's that from?
Isfahan, September 16, 2014, 09:31:48 pm

Runic's mutant power is he can read the thoughts of people who are in podcasts.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: nigeline on September 16, 2014, 11:37:56 pm
I saw Portaxx once. Her hair was made of spun diamonds and instead of normal clothing she wore a robe woven out of live voles. Her eyes were both scarlet and emerald at the same time. They kind of hurt to look at. She can tell who is and is not an otherkin because in her presence all otherkin spontaneously start to sweat cheap vodka. Her voice was as fierce as the storm and as calm as the placid waters. Also, it sounded a bit like a dude's.
Runic, September 16, 2014, 09:23:13 pm
Thank god, no mention of pendulous breasts. I was getting worried there for a moment.

STOG saying "Titanium Teeth!!" gets me every time.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: LINDA on September 16, 2014, 11:38:43 pm
eudo likes to introduce people to the podcast with the adult babies, which was how I was taken in.
applecake, September 16, 2014, 07:32:57 pm

I dooo. I ask people if they "want to dip a toe in or dive in headfirst" and if they pick the former, they get cling film. The latter, adult babies. Most people, failing to anticipate the depths of the madness, choose to dive in. It has a rather good success rate, actually.

"it's adam and eve, not air bud and slam dunk!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Tiny Prancer on September 17, 2014, 02:04:20 am
I'd say if you're introducing the podcast to someone, it's probably best to start with a topic that they already like to make fun of. I started with the multiples episode and was instantly hooked.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Caroline on September 20, 2014, 05:24:37 am
I think my favourite moment is when Squiddy genuinely can't get through the line 'I've had the pleasure of cracking a squat' without crying with laughter. The whole episode is great, but that bit is amazing. Not that these are quotes, but I also love Jack Chick's 'Sir Charles' voice, Kumquatxop's voice in general, and literally any time Lemon says the word 'pagan'.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: BomberJacket on September 28, 2014, 08:44:44 pm
"He's turning a hand job into a hand career"
"MVP: Does for monkeys on skateboards what Psycho did for showers"
"I said I was going to hex both her and her kid, but they kept laughing for some reason"
"This is an adequate amount of marriage. Send me to Mars! Return me to Mars!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: I, EmmaGhost on September 28, 2014, 10:18:22 pm
Lemon: "bumpgirl, will you tell us about your watermelon straps?"
bumpgirl: "....Lemon!"

The pause really did it for me.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: jack chick on October 02, 2014, 11:50:11 am
"Well Lemon, I'm feelin in a country mood"
"I don't know which one of these that is"

For some reason that exchange gives me the giggles mighty fierce.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Navigator on October 02, 2014, 05:57:40 pm
Isfahan: "And the corners are rounded, so it wouldn't even make a good bludgeon."
Portaxx: "...Jesus, Isfahan."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: count_actuala on October 02, 2014, 10:31:04 pm
"*audible grimace*" - Lemon
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Caroline on October 03, 2014, 09:28:55 am
Can't remember the ridiculists or the episode (maybe the one with the 'experts'), but it went something like this:

Ridiculist 1: "blah blah blah hippie bullshit blah blah blah our time together does not end after our call!"
Ridiculist 2: "I'm standing right outside your house!"
Ridiculist 3: "Got any Ben & Jerry's?!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: jack chick on October 07, 2014, 07:58:43 pm
F+Live Crowd: USA USA USA
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Tiny Prancer on October 16, 2014, 02:44:49 am
I'm re-listening to the second live episode(s) while I work on art, and it's not quite a quote but after Lemon reveals that the guy who wrote the incredibly creepy book on "seducing" and dumping women based on zodiac signs also wrote a book on speaking in Na'vi and that it's part one in a series of eight where in the background you can hear what sounds a lot like someone smacking their head against a table repeatedly, and it's the most perfect audial accompaniment to that moment.

(also the dude who wrote "never wallpaper together" in that fucking pizza-obsessed relationship tips book may have actually been onto something, because one of my mom's friends once paid me to rip out some old carpet in her house for her and later she told me that I may have saved her marriage because she and her husband had been fighting about it for ages. It is possibly the only marginally decent tip in that book.)
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Nyarai on October 18, 2014, 12:49:14 am
I was listening to the latest episode, and I lost my shit at Hans von Hozel's perverted cousin, when John cut in, "The father-in-law danubed [...]"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Down10 on October 18, 2014, 09:57:50 am
Portaxx: “Spoof Porn II from Studio Cumlouder”
John Toast: “Are they the New England Cumlouders?”

No one else laughed at this, but I did!

edit: Properly credited. Boots and Toast really sound alike!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: nigeline on October 18, 2014, 10:22:07 pm
Portaxx: “Spoof Porn II from Studio Cumlouder”
Boots: “Are they the New England Cumlouders?”

No one else laughed at this, but I did!
Down10, October 18, 2014, 09:57:50 am
Fear not; I loved this one too.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Fatty Bo Batty on October 25, 2014, 04:12:36 am
"All right, show of hands real quick... Who wants rape?" -Jack Chick, 2014
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Bobalay on October 25, 2014, 04:27:53 am
"(scattered applause)" -- the crowd
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: SATAN MILKSHAKE on October 25, 2014, 05:54:39 am
"READ IT, READ IT, READ IT, READ IT!"

"So he chooses Jane at this fuckin' elementary school, cause they're both four-year-olds,"

"WHAT?"

"Yeah.  Yeah."

"DON'T READ IT, DON'T READ IT, DON'T READ IT, DON'T READ IT!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: SATAN MILKSHAKE on October 25, 2014, 05:57:28 am
Also, between this and the Running Gags--every time either someone in the audience or the reader themselves goes "what?" like they can't believe what they just read out loud.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: McMillan and Waifu on November 03, 2014, 08:24:29 pm
"I bought a dildo at the store, and when I brought it home it was used and tasted like shefuck-"
"WOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: John Toast on November 04, 2014, 08:33:20 pm
Portaxx: “Spoof Porn II from Studio Cumlouder”
Boots: “Are they the New England Cumlouders?”

No one else laughed at this, but I did!
Down10, October 18, 2014, 09:57:50 am

Hey, that was me, not Boots!

Also thank you.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: nigeline on November 04, 2014, 10:56:50 pm
Portaxx: “Spoof Porn II from Studio Cumlouder”
Boots: “Are they the New England Cumlouders?”

No one else laughed at this, but I did!
Down10, October 18, 2014, 09:57:50 am

Hey, that was me, not Boots!

Also thank you.
John Toast, November 04, 2014, 08:33:20 pm
Not our fault you two sound *and* look alike!

I also loved this joke.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Mister Smalls on November 05, 2014, 08:26:15 am
I know it's an oldie, but "The theory of relativity!  Koo-koo-ka-jello!" still gets me every time.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: crow on November 05, 2014, 12:32:54 pm
"I think she would say, uh, quim?"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Ramona Chingona on November 06, 2014, 12:36:17 am
Not necessarily an "F Plus" quote, but Adam's interpretation of kelby393's graduation photo experience had me in tears, no exaggeration. Probably my favorite reading yall have done.

And the whole of the BlurtIt episode was gold. Everyone was on a roll the whole time.

Isfahan: Make a paste of tea Nnn tomatoes, Nnn use it on your penis at least 15 days regular.
Lemon: Eat up Penis, I love you! Oh, Penis isn't eating lately, he must be sad!

Also anything Jimmyfranks read in that episode was basically great.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: crow on November 12, 2014, 08:37:32 am
Steiner Stained Recliner is the greatest phrase ever uttered
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Fatty Bo Batty on November 12, 2014, 10:58:53 am
Steiner Stained Recliner is the greatest phrase ever uttered
Smoking Crow, November 12, 2014, 08:37:32 am

Except for anything Scott Steiner has said, of course.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Lemon on November 13, 2014, 10:40:25 am
I forgot about Baby Drug Pusher.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: nigeline on November 13, 2014, 08:52:12 pm
I forgot about Baby Drug Pusher.
Lemon, November 13, 2014, 10:40:25 am
All the glory of Wittle Baby Bunny Bwead with none of the absolute terror.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: chai tea latte on November 14, 2014, 12:58:14 am
Lemon: "but, ironically, I was still turned on by it?"

this haunts me and i remember none of the context. please enlighten me, thread?

(it might be "but i was, ironically, turned on by it?" but that's still pretty close)
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Nyarai on November 14, 2014, 12:33:31 pm
Kumquatxop's "YES, HELLO!" before he reads a post just tickles me every time.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Lemon on November 14, 2014, 03:02:13 pm
"I never thought of doing this, but I put my dick in Gary."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: crow on November 15, 2014, 01:36:56 pm
"'Yo!  Let's have a sexy party.'  As long as no one dies at it"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Caroline on November 17, 2014, 02:57:19 am
"TAB TAB TAB TAB TAB"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: nigeline on November 17, 2014, 08:41:07 pm
"I never thought of doing this, but I put my dick in Gary."
Lemon, November 14, 2014, 03:02:13 pm
Gary is my favorite recurring character.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: BomberJacket on November 18, 2014, 01:24:58 am
"There's three options here. The World Clown Association (scammers). Miss Sparkles Delight (clown, scammer). And Gamestop."
"GAMESTOP!"
"Yeah, Gamestop!"
"... Gamestop the Clown?"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Mistress Eva on November 18, 2014, 10:27:49 am
"Back Alley Dave is back from Iraq and he needs fifty dollars."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Navigator on November 18, 2014, 04:48:47 pm
My absolute favorite part of F Plus Live 3.

"Wait, you want SENSE? Sorry, Victor wants sense. I have to stop reading."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Nikaer Drekin on November 24, 2014, 10:38:16 am
In what I think is the most recent WikiHow episode, I love when Lemon makes a joke about Paul Simon metal songs, and without missing a beat Jack Chick (I think?) goes "HELLO SATAN MY OLD FRIEEEEEEND!"

Also anytime Lemon talked about the dish with "PEEEEEANUT" SAUCE! That's probably the most perfect audio version of air quotes I've ever heard.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Down10 on November 24, 2014, 04:02:13 pm
“Alllll right!”
—Lemon, repeatedly, in any given episode
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: AgentCoop on November 24, 2014, 07:20:35 pm
In what I think is the most recent WikiHow episode, I love when Lemon makes a joke about Paul Simon metal songs, and without missing a beat Jack Chick (I think?) goes "HELLO SATAN MY OLD FRIEEEEEEND!"

Also anytime Lemon talked about the dish with "PEEEEEANUT" SAUCE! That's probably the most perfect audio version of air quotes I've ever heard.
Nikaer Drekin, November 24, 2014, 10:38:16 am
woahhhh, we can have gifs as avatars?
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Nikaer Drekin on November 24, 2014, 10:49:08 pm
In what I think is the most recent WikiHow episode, I love when Lemon makes a joke about Paul Simon metal songs, and without missing a beat Jack Chick (I think?) goes "HELLO SATAN MY OLD FRIEEEEEEND!"

Also anytime Lemon talked about the dish with "PEEEEEANUT" SAUCE! That's probably the most perfect audio version of air quotes I've ever heard.
Nikaer Drekin, November 24, 2014, 10:38:16 am
woahhhh, we can have gifs as avatars?
AgentCoop, November 24, 2014, 07:20:35 pm

Uh... I think so? I just bought my subscription today and just picked that for my av. Sorry if I'm breaking any rules!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: One Of The Crappy Pokemon That Nobody Likes on November 24, 2014, 10:55:02 pm
In what I think is the most recent WikiHow episode, I love when Lemon makes a joke about Paul Simon metal songs, and without missing a beat Jack Chick (I think?) goes "HELLO SATAN MY OLD FRIEEEEEEND!"

Also anytime Lemon talked about the dish with "PEEEEEANUT" SAUCE! That's probably the most perfect audio version of air quotes I've ever heard.
Nikaer Drekin, November 24, 2014, 10:38:16 am
woahhhh, we can have gifs as avatars?
AgentCoop, November 24, 2014, 07:20:35 pm

Uh... I think so? I just bought my subscription today and just picked that for my av. Sorry if I'm breaking any rules!
Nikaer Drekin, November 24, 2014, 10:49:08 pm

Actually I think now you've opened the floodgates for many more awesome avatars in the future. Because I sure as hell didn't know this either!

... now I need to figure out which gif to use...
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Lemon on November 24, 2014, 11:09:57 pm
Really? Boots has been using randomly generated animated gif avatars since we started.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Tiny Prancer on November 25, 2014, 02:39:56 am
At first I assumed Boots was losing multiple bets but after a while I figured he was just seeing how long it would take before someone commented on it and it had been going for a very long time.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Boots Raingear on November 25, 2014, 05:44:30 am
My avatar changes every 5 minutes. Problem is that the file name always stays the same so it will stay in browser cache for weeks.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Nyarai on November 27, 2014, 10:46:08 am
I can't stop laughing at Frank West's reading of, "They arrive as light and are invisible to the mind. Help me."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Isfahan on November 29, 2014, 10:54:20 pm
I just relistened to Boots's reading of Heehee22's entry at the very end of the Indie Go Go Go Away episode and I developed a newfound appreciation for his delivery of

"IndieGoGo fucked my thing up. They fucked it up. They fucked it up!"

which started with resigned melancholy, then boiled over into halfhearted annoyance. For some reason it just tickled me so hard it made my sides hurt. Boots's easygoing tone was just perfect for it.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Lady Frenzy on November 29, 2014, 11:02:20 pm
"Close the door, you're vibrating"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: scratchohey on December 10, 2014, 12:56:35 am
"Another crackerjack Internet diagnorsis. Thanks, computer!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Nyarai on December 10, 2014, 11:18:43 pm
So what episode is this very first quote from? I only half-remember John making a joke about Job. (Or maybe I'm imagining it because he's responsible for 99% of the F+ Bible humor.)

Post your favorite F Plus quotes!  I'll start.

"I am beset by the inequities of sin, and holy shit my dick is huge"
Smoking Crow, April 16, 2014, 09:10:03 pm
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: crow on December 11, 2014, 12:53:49 am
So what episode is this very first quote from? I only half-remember John making a joke about Job. (Or maybe I'm imagining it because he's responsible for 99% of the F+ Bible humor.)

Post your favorite F Plus quotes!  I'll start.

"I am beset by the inequities of sin, and holy shit my dick is huge"
Smoking Crow, April 16, 2014, 09:10:03 pm
Nyarai, December 10, 2014, 11:18:43 pm

Episode 71: Amazon Recommends Years of Therapy
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Mister Smalls on December 19, 2014, 07:15:55 pm
I don't feel like I've properly expressed my appreciation for Acier's "Hackney accent" in the end bumper for episode 102 (the bad movie concepts one).

"Koo koo kachoo, Jenn-ay."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: positive stress on December 30, 2014, 10:33:04 am
The whole episode These Are a Few of My Favorite Kinks is gold but I think my favorite part is John Toast on "excessive amounts of cum and corruption": "ohhhh yeah that was great. Here's a lot of money for political reasons."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Puppy Time on January 09, 2015, 05:14:01 pm
After listening to nearly all the episodes, repeatedly in many cases, the one quote that consistently brings me joy is in Episode 103, when Lemon responds to some nut predicting doom and gloom from girls going to college:

"AND THEN THEY'LL HAVE A DONKEY HEAD!"

Giggles every time.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: goombapolice on January 12, 2015, 06:27:28 am
"You know what your problem is? I've given you all the power, and you don't even know me."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: count_actuala on January 12, 2015, 09:17:56 am
Can I nominate every single pained grimace Lemon makes at a bad line in the singing episode?
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Lemon on January 16, 2015, 01:22:07 pm
"If there was an MMORTPG I might jizz in my pants multiple times."
"And then what?"
"And then play it for three months straight."
"Oh, yuck."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Slayer of Yaks on January 16, 2015, 05:28:58 pm
I find that the entire section of the San Francisco Podcast in which everyone got a nice taste of the hell-dish full of carrot noodles and 'peanut' sauce brings me to giggles. Especially Lemon's reaction. Lemon, dearest, your suffering brings me great joy.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: TurkeyPopulationGuessingMan on January 18, 2015, 06:58:41 am
From A Conservative Estimate

"They can't support the gay troops can they?"

"They can support their balls...on their chin"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: MyFaceBeHi on January 18, 2015, 11:18:18 am
I like any time they try and include a variation on "how often should I have buttsex with my girlfriend?" in an episode. Granted it hasn't been that many times but the one in Hoc Est Praecipue De Buttsex (waaaaaaaaay back when) was amazing.

"Dearest Romans! How often shall I engage in buggery with the woman whom I've called mine?"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Mister Smalls on January 18, 2015, 12:55:54 pm
I like any time they try and include a variation on "how often should I have buttsex with my girlfriend?" in an episode. Granted it hasn't been that many times but the one in Hoc Est Praecipue De Buttsex (waaaaaaaaay back when) was amazing.

"Dearest Romans! How often shall I engage in buggery with the woman whom I've called mine?"
MyFaceBeHi, January 18, 2015, 11:18:18 am
"monster cock Crusader... how often should I have buttsex with my girlfriend?"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: count_actuala on January 18, 2015, 07:17:32 pm
"*normal-ass thing*"
"I'm a vampire."
Repeat.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: BomberJacket on January 18, 2015, 09:02:22 pm
"I like some of these hobos"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: TurkeyPopulationGuessingMan on January 19, 2015, 09:03:00 pm
"Pickachu learns a lesson about the stealing of crime"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: positive stress on January 19, 2015, 09:28:57 pm
"Hey, could I have a sex story for my mods?" "Yeah! You could have them having sex! Goodbye!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Nyarai on January 19, 2015, 11:22:04 pm
Lemon in the YahooAnswers episode, "oooooooooooohslut. yeraslut," tickles me.

Also, something about the way Isfahan says, "Another semicolon," just makes me smile every time I hear it.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: DetectiveSlowpoke on January 23, 2015, 01:53:19 am
After listening to nearly all the episodes, repeatedly in many cases, the one quote that consistently brings me joy is in Episode 103, when Lemon responds to some nut predicting doom and gloom from girls going to college:

"AND THEN THEY'LL HAVE A DONKEY HEAD!"

Giggles every time.
Puppy Time, January 09, 2015, 05:14:01 pm

That whole part is great. "Your marriage is gonna be a lateral move, A LATERAL MOVE!" is probably my favorite moment though.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: nigeline on January 23, 2015, 08:32:53 pm
After listening to nearly all the episodes, repeatedly in many cases, the one quote that consistently brings me joy is in Episode 103, when Lemon responds to some nut predicting doom and gloom from girls going to college:

"AND THEN THEY'LL HAVE A DONKEY HEAD!"

Giggles every time.
Puppy Time, January 09, 2015, 05:14:01 pm

That whole part is great. "Your marriage is gonna be a lateral move, A LATERAL MOVE!" is probably my favorite moment though.
CatsMcgee, January 23, 2015, 01:53:19 am

Yessssss. It's straight out of the end of an early season CI episode. "Egg cup. EGG CUPPPPPP"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Mister Smalls on January 31, 2015, 07:14:42 pm
"Chances are, if the thought of that makes you a little randy, the Tentacle is for you!"
"What if that doesn't make me randy at all?"
"Then the Tentacle is for you anyway."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: One Of The Crappy Pokemon That Nobody Likes on January 31, 2015, 07:52:15 pm
"Chances are, if the thought of that makes you a little randy, the Tentacle is for you!"
"What if that doesn't make me randy at all?"
"Then the Tentacle is for you anyway."
Mister Smalls, January 31, 2015, 07:14:42 pm

I went through a bunch of old episodes a few weeks ago, and this is definitely one of my favorite gags in the podcast.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Cat Planet on February 01, 2015, 05:44:08 am
HOW can a viewer masturbate to an endless blowjob?!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: STOG on February 01, 2015, 06:46:00 am
HOW can a viewer masturbate to an endless blowjob?!
Cat Planet, February 01, 2015, 05:44:08 am

If God created an endless blowjob and an infinite masturbation, what happens when the two meet?
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: goombapolice on February 01, 2015, 07:31:40 am
"Portaxx quit giving Boots a handjob"

"You first, asshole!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Fanzay on February 01, 2015, 08:14:27 pm
For optimal sound quality, leave the room.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: SATAN MILKSHAKE on February 02, 2015, 09:08:45 am
I had to go searching around external sites because I couldn't find this on the new thefpl.us, but from the youtube shorts:

BROCK LESNARRRRRQuote from
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: positive stress on February 05, 2015, 07:17:24 pm
"I've got this dumb premise!"

"Here's heavy-handed satire."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: nigeline on February 05, 2015, 09:39:42 pm
"I've got this dumb premise!"

"Here's heavy-handed satire."
fruithag, February 05, 2015, 07:17:24 pm
The truth of the internet.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Nyarai on February 06, 2015, 12:04:08 pm
"How do I smoke weed without waking my parents?"

"Well, don't use the gas-powered bong."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: positive stress on February 12, 2015, 04:37:56 am
"Okay, so that's fetish number 4? 5?"

"This guy's never gonna orgasm again cause all the fucking planets have to align just to get a boner, like a bird has to fly by, and a Campbell's soup can needs to roll down the street..."

"It's a waning gibbous! Here, quick!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Adam Bozarth on February 16, 2015, 01:56:19 am
HAHA JASMINE YOU'S A CRAZY SNAKE
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: boooo566 on February 16, 2015, 06:50:26 pm
Space Boner.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: positive stress on February 16, 2015, 10:53:44 pm
(POINT TO STRONG)
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Mistress Eva on February 16, 2015, 11:06:50 pm
The "Jenga Tower of paraphilias" line was always one of my favorites. It describes so many of these crazy bastards.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: positive stress on February 23, 2015, 11:09:32 pm
I'm listening to the BabyMimi episode and I don't know why but I couldn't stop laughing at this

Acier: I bet you couldn't hum that in a German accent.

Boots: No, I couldn't.

Bunnybread: Do it! Do it, Boots!

Boots: That doesn't make any sense.

Bunnybread: The white glove has been thrown down, motherfucker!

Acier: He was passionately humming! Come on, man, this is a tender moment!

Boots: I'm just gonna continue with the story.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Nyarai on February 24, 2015, 12:05:45 am
I'm listening to the BabyMimi episode fruithag, February 23, 2015, 11:09:32 pm

Which episode is this? I'm drawing a blank at the moment.

Jimmyfrank had a really good line from the carfucking episode. "I'm not calling you a liar. I'm just saying that if you're gonna fucking lie, I'll put you in a box."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Acierocolotl on February 24, 2015, 12:24:28 am
Thanks, fruithag!

It's episode #99.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Navigator on February 24, 2015, 07:27:42 am
"Wait. Did you just say, 'always demand truth, but I can't tell truth from lies, so don't demand truth'?"

"......I'm Canadian."


*or something along those lines
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: LINDA on February 24, 2015, 09:29:50 am
MY GENDER IDENTITY IS PERFECT, GOODBYE
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Cat Planet on February 24, 2015, 09:31:54 am
MY GENDER IDENTITY IS PERFECT, GOODBYE
eudo, February 24, 2015, 09:29:50 am

Now I know the perfect response to Tumblr divas.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Mister Smalls on February 25, 2015, 08:32:23 pm
"At first I thought it was Ms. Smith from English class, but it turns out it was a videro grmnm"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: crow on February 25, 2015, 08:50:27 pm
"My bung has flung some dung to thee!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Nyarai on February 27, 2015, 07:46:59 am
"STOG, have you been teaching him accents?"

Anyone remember what episode this is from?
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Mistress Eva on February 27, 2015, 10:32:21 am
Isfahan provides some of my favorite commentary, as his patience for lots of types of internet bullshittery is particularly limited. One line that sticks in my mind for some reason is in the Angry, Angry Hippos episode, wherein we are informed that we can never think or say anything about the diets of the morbidly obese. After all, we have no idea what the diet and exercise habits of these people really are. To which Isfahan says with some measure of incredulity, "I CAN TAKE A FUCKING GUESS, CAN'T I??!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: positive stress on February 27, 2015, 03:36:59 pm
"STOG, have you been teaching him accents?"

Anyone remember what episode this is from?
Nyarai, February 27, 2015, 07:46:59 am

This was when John did his terrible British accent in "In a Past Life, I Was Also Insufferable"

foive non-eaaarth haauuumenssss
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Isfahan on February 27, 2015, 06:26:57 pm
Isfahan provides some of my favorite commentary, as his patience for lots of types of internet bullshittery is particularly limited. One line that sticks in my mind for some reason is in the Angry, Angry Hippos episode, wherein we are informed that we can never think or say anything about the diets of the morbidly obese. After all, we have no idea what the diet and exercise habits of these people really are. To which Isfahan in a says with some measure of incredulity, "I CAN TAKE A FUCKING GUESS, CAN'T I??!"Mistress Eva, February 27, 2015, 10:32:21 am

Why thank you! [heart]
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: crow on February 27, 2015, 09:22:17 pm
"I'm drunk on Tropic Chillers; dancing with my blow up doll"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Nyarai on February 27, 2015, 10:39:21 pm
This was when John did his terrible British accent in "In a Past Life, I Was Also Insufferable"

foive non-eaaarth haauuumenssss

Bless you. Not knowing was driving me bananas.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: One Of The Crappy Pokemon That Nobody Likes on March 01, 2015, 05:22:54 pm
I will never not love Jimmyfranks' and Bunnybread's responses to the Sherlock fanfic prompt wherein Sherlock and the character of your choice discuss the validity of aromantic relationships or whatever the hell it was. Jimmy suggests the character be "1980s game show host Bert Convy" which is just out of left field, and Bunnybread just says "... can I say 'Ron Jeremy' still?" which I desperately need to see some mousy little fangirl try to write.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: positive stress on March 03, 2015, 09:08:18 pm
The enemies of creatures are creature-enemies, in the enemy fight on creatures

Creature Fight on Enemy Mountain
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: McMillan and Waifu on March 14, 2015, 02:01:35 am
Welcome to the F Plus: "You think this is weird and gross, huh? Well I'm desperate! CHECK ME"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: QueenSyreen on March 16, 2015, 12:08:02 am
Though I tend to be an annoying parrot when it comes to things I like, considering the content matter, I don't really tend to quote the F Plus in my daily life aside from the occasional whispered "completely wrapped in clingfilm." However, I have developed the tendency to announce that I have fucked up saying something and about to try again by shouting "WORDS! I'M SAYING WORDS! THEY MEAN THINGS!" And maybe it's not the funniest F plus quote, but it's sure as hell my favorite to judge by sheer number of repetitions.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Navigator on March 17, 2015, 08:33:49 pm
Which episode is it that has "HOO-RAH, FUCKIN' YAY"? That cracks me up every time I think about it, but I can't remember which episode it's from.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: AgentCoop on March 17, 2015, 08:36:51 pm
twiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiins
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: crow on March 17, 2015, 10:07:11 pm
Which episode is it that has "HOO-RAH, FUCKIN' YAY"? That cracks me up every time I think about it, but I can't remember which episode it's from.
Navigator, March 17, 2015, 08:33:49 pm

Episode 93: I can't put up with you people because you're bastard people

my favorite episode
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Nyarai on March 23, 2015, 10:57:29 pm
"I wrote the Kiss song 'Strutter,' and then Kiss stole it from me!"

I've been binging on episodes. Anyone remember which one this is from?
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Isfahan on March 24, 2015, 06:25:19 am
Sounds like an Amy Lee joint (http://thefpl.us/episode/97). I don't remember for sure, though.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Deep 13 on March 24, 2015, 08:15:31 am
From the Above Top Secret episode, this exchange cracks me up:

Isfahan: What flavor kool-aid are you drinking, Portaxx?

Portaxx: Pterodactyl flavored!

Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Caroline on March 24, 2015, 08:18:45 am
FUCK YOU I'M ALAN FUCKING BISHOP MAN

I'm often tempted to use this in conversation, but sadly my name isn't as good for yelling as Alan Fucking Bishop Man.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Nyarai on March 24, 2015, 01:29:11 pm
Sounds like an Amy Lee joint (http://thefpl.us/episode/97). I don't remember for sure, though.
Isfahan, March 24, 2015, 06:25:19 am

I listened to that one today, and it wasn't in there. It was a random Lemon interjection, but I can't place it.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: positive stress on April 03, 2015, 03:30:50 pm
The reading from bodymod.org about the guy cutting his frenulum is one of the hardest to listen to, but also one of my all-time favorites. Everything in there is gold

"The glans (or: glans)"

"Hang on, I cut my dick open and for some reason there was blood underneath! Did I do something wrong? I mean, other than cut my dick open?" "No, no, penises want to bleed, it's just their natural state"

"He said 'wound glued otherwise' in past tense, does that mean this was attempt #2?" "This was attempt #7. First thing I used to glue it with was melted gummy bears, that didn't work, not recommended. Then I used some more blood, turns out that didn't work..."

"Using piss to disinfect the wound is so far his best idea"

"But as I patched the booklet easy to urinate can open." "This is a mad lib at this point"

"After a week, the wound has healed so well that I could resist gently masturbate" "He's just been gently masturbating this whole time?" "Now I can keep my hands off!"

"The operation is now thirty years back. By the way, I'm 32 years old" "Okay well we can circumcise your child or we could get a little bit more creative?"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Nyarai on April 05, 2015, 05:04:29 pm
I had to muffle my snickers while my uncle read a passage from Isaiah, which had multiple uses of the word "inequity,"  because all I could think of was the first post in this thread.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: John Toast on April 09, 2015, 12:08:55 am
I had to muffle my snickers while my uncle read a passage from Isaiah, which had multiple uses of the word "inequity,"  because all I could think of was the first post in this thread.
Nyarai, April 05, 2015, 05:04:29 pm

It's such a Bibley word! You almost never hear it outside of someone doing a scripture reading.

On the topic of dick jokes, Portaxx yelling "SOMEONE CUDDLE MAH CAHK!" in the cuddling episode is a new fave.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Bobalay on April 24, 2015, 04:00:59 am
"Stove hot! Touch stove!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: VelvetOwl on April 24, 2015, 09:30:54 am
Two from Lemon.

"Yeah. Yeah, and you look at [car inflation at] and think 'that's kinda weird', but then you scroll down and see another car hanging on, like, Hellraiser meat hooks with a GIANT FLOPPY DONG, with a man coming out of his urethra."

"Hey, you guys wanna hear something super surprising? Big Daddy Rhino's gay."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: nigeline on April 25, 2015, 03:36:36 am
Two from Lemon.

"Yeah. Yeah, and you look at [car inflation at] and think 'that's kinda weird', but then you scroll down and see another car hanging on, like, Hellraiser meat hooks with a GIANT FLOPPY DONG, with a man coming out of his urethra."

"Hey, you guys wanna hear something super surprising? Big Daddy Rhino's gay."
VelvetOwl, April 24, 2015, 09:30:54 am

Big Daddy Rhino is probably my favorite unabashedly sexual F Plus 'dude'.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: STOG on April 25, 2015, 04:00:23 am
Victor Laszlo's DIY cum lube estimation cost in the Bad Dragon episode makes me so happy.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Haydon on April 25, 2015, 07:16:38 am
German Stog: ...I brought her to my hotel room where Cream and I had our way with this new big bunny girl named Madison. I'm always blown away as to how powerful and delicious orgasms are when taking a new plush on for the first time--
Boots: So, this is posted with the assumption that we know who, or what, "Cream" is? Like the followers of this thread--
Isfahan: "Cream" is capitalised.
Boots: --they'd be, "ah, yes, Cream."
German Stog: Ooh, Eric Clapton, you have to save me some--
Lemon: Oh, come on! This was a perfectly nice fetish and you had to bring Eric Clapton into it. "Uaargh, my baby fell out a window--" - shut the fuck up!
[Laughter]

This is always amazing
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Puppy Time on April 29, 2015, 05:42:12 pm
Big Daddy Rhino is probably my favorite unabashedly sexual F Plus 'dude'.
nigeline, April 25, 2015, 03:36:36 am

Mine's The monster cock Crusader.  Something about the ridiculous enthusiasm combined with the fanatical devotion to a single fetish.  In a site full of characters with backstory and personality, here's just a guy who just wants to make butt smut and doesn't much care about the details.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Isfahan on April 29, 2015, 05:49:27 pm
Mine's The monster cock Crusader.  Something about the ridiculous enthusiasm combined with the fanatical devotion to a single fetish.  In a site full of characters with backstory and personality, here's just a guy who just wants to make butt smut and doesn't much care about the details.
Puppy Time, April 29, 2015, 05:42:12 pm

Well, in his case there was one very very important detail.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: boooo566 on April 30, 2015, 08:07:55 am
I thought you were talking about the guy who was really into monster cock for a second, and was confused because he wanted less butt smut.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: crow on April 30, 2015, 09:41:49 am
"I tried to forgive her but i'm not a jesus"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: VelvetOwl on April 30, 2015, 11:21:16 am
I actually thought of another quote that I really love. It was during the butt ghost episode.

Lou: "You can have sex with a ghost, a demon, twinflame, another astral playmate, or go on the down low with a low-vibrational entity."

Boots: "A tuba."

It didn't even get a response out of the others, but that line gets me every time.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Nikaer Drekin on April 30, 2015, 11:25:00 am
I don't even remember what the episode was, but one of the readers asked something like "Is it really sexy to use way more words then you have to?" To which Portaxx (in dumb-girl voice) responded:

"Yeah, that's why I fucked that guy from Penny Arcade!"

Perfect.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Nyarai on April 30, 2015, 11:27:32 am
I don't even remember what the episode was, but one of the readers asked something like "Is it really sexy to use way more words then you have to?" To which Portaxx (in dumb-girl voice) responded:

"Yeah, that's why I fucked that guy from Penny Arcade!"

Perfect.
Nikaer Drekin, April 30, 2015, 11:25:00 am

Friend Zone episode. #114
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: positive stress on April 30, 2015, 12:37:37 pm
ICE-FA-HAN

GUNS GUNS GUNS GUNS METAL GEAR
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Dole on April 30, 2015, 02:32:12 pm
"I tried to forgive her but i'm not a jesus"
Smoking Crow, April 30, 2015, 09:41:49 am
I love this line so much. I also love that he couldn't remember how to spell "pieces" but knew that it almost rhymed with "jesus", so he came up with "pesus."

"Get your head out of your ass and stick it right in the menstrual cycle, motherfuckers."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Nyarai on May 02, 2015, 01:38:04 am
Which episode was it where Kumquat reads about the Trojan War, eloquently telling us how, "The Greeks poured out of the butthole and killed everyone"?
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: One Of The Crappy Pokemon That Nobody Likes on May 02, 2015, 02:36:24 am
Which episode was it where Kumquat reads about the Trojan War, eloquently telling us how, "The Greeks poured out of the butthole and killed everyone"?
Nyarai, May 02, 2015, 01:38:04 am

Basil Marceux, baby! I should listen to that one again...
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: crow on May 02, 2015, 07:12:39 am
We have to stay on point because we're brewmasters
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Caroline on May 03, 2015, 04:04:20 pm
… and timing.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Glitterbomber on May 03, 2015, 07:25:29 pm
Tommy D Commy D
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: goombapolice on May 03, 2015, 09:50:19 pm
Tommy D Commy D
Glitterbomber, May 03, 2015, 07:25:29 pm

Where does that come from? It seems so familiar.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Deep 13 on May 06, 2015, 10:04:45 am
Tommy D Commy D
Glitterbomber, May 03, 2015, 07:25:29 pm

Where does that come from? It seems so familiar.
goombapolice, May 03, 2015, 09:50:19 pm

I know it's in Elon Musk Won't Return My Calls (http://thefpl.us/episode/145 (http://thefpl.us/episode/145)), if not other episodes.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Lemon on May 06, 2015, 04:17:14 pm
Tommy D Commy D
Glitterbomber, May 03, 2015, 07:25:29 pm

Where does that come from? It seems so familiar.
goombapolice, May 03, 2015, 09:50:19 pm

I know it's in Elon Musk Won't Return My Calls (http://thefpl.us/episode/145 (http://thefpl.us/episode/145)), if not other episodes.
Deep 13, May 06, 2015, 10:04:45 am

http://thefpl.us/find/tag:the%20tommy%20d%20commy%20d

Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Nyarai on May 11, 2015, 01:01:43 pm
Finally found the source of, "I wrote the KISS song 'Strutter', and then KISS stole it from me." Ep. 105.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: positive stress on May 13, 2015, 08:49:04 pm
"I had an attack of sissy slut."

"Put a wallet in his mouth!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Digital Walnut on May 20, 2015, 12:56:16 am
"It's Friday night. Time to give myself an enema and listen to Warrant!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: QueenSyreen on May 25, 2015, 03:11:17 pm
Because to open you to life, I MUST OIL THE GATES OF YOUR WOMB! SPREAD YOUR LEGS, CARA!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: crow on May 26, 2015, 06:42:11 pm
He's pretty much the David Attenborough of Jews with baseball bats
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Nyarai on May 27, 2015, 10:40:31 am
"Ho, ho, ho! Kill the bankers!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: IceTwister on May 29, 2015, 09:18:02 pm
It's verrrrry recent, but...

"Hey kid, where did you get that cat?"

"VACCINES CAUSE AUTISM!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Nikaer Drekin on June 01, 2015, 12:47:12 pm
Whenever Portaxx calls someone an asshole in-character. As in, "Yeah, it's part of the queer umbrella, asshole!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: positive stress on June 03, 2015, 09:34:48 pm
Lemon: Boots, I want you to be Max Atwood, the most likable person in the world!

Boots: Okay.

Lemon: Oh, I'm... I'm gonna love you, Max Atwood!

Boots: "I'm definitely a weirdo! I'm a loli-loving, bisexual anime otaku!"

Lemon: Gooooooo to jail!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Achilles' Heelies on June 04, 2015, 06:54:13 pm
From the Blurtit episode,  I personally enjoy,  "THE PENIS IS BLOOD!"

It really helped me increase the size of my panic.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: John Toast on June 07, 2015, 12:28:30 am
"How about you go snap into a Slim Jim. How about you go fuck yourself."

I forget exactly when Adam says that (the sexting section of Wikihow 4 I believe?) but the way he says it just gets me every time.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Caroline on June 16, 2015, 05:44:30 am
I'M ALSO HELL BENT FOR LEATHER!!!!!

From the witchyhow.com episode. I'm listening while sick at home with the flu, so I'm not sure if it's the fever talking, but this might be my new favourite line.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Runic on June 21, 2015, 05:50:33 pm
"Ceci n'est pas une vagine."

Before that episode I didn't know I needed a dadaist pussy joke, but it turns out I really did.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Isfahan on June 21, 2015, 07:47:03 pm
I asked Acierocolotl later on if I'd gotten the gender of "vagina" right and, against all logic, it turns out that in French it's a masculine noun: "un vagin."

Shit like this is why I don't go to Vegas.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: CaptainLaserPants on June 22, 2015, 12:05:03 pm
Isfahan as Lou: "And now we're gonna read some sounding forum. I like to put glass rods up my dick. The glass rods feel amazing. It makes my orgasms very powerful."

Episode 117, My Mistress is Machine Washable
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: positive stress on June 24, 2015, 06:34:09 pm
Isfahan: Foal chose this moment to yank at Camilla's shirt collar and expose a nipple to which she applied her mouth after lingeringly licking the areola, tongueing as those teenagers who have no sense of ending or a purpose to their flickering until they come upon the other tongue which they suck and sup at like nowitweretheassuredendingoftheworld [INHALES]

Bunnybread: That was worth it, right?

This was 90 episodes ago and I don't think there's been a single worse writer since
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Isfahan on June 24, 2015, 09:10:38 pm
Isfahan: Foal chose this moment to yank at Camilla's shirt collar and expose a nipple to which she applied her mouth after lingeringly licking the areola, tongueing as those teenagers who have no sense of ending or a purpose to their flickering until they come upon the other tongue which they suck and sup at like nowitweretheassuredendingoftheworld [INHALES]

Bunnybread: That was worth it, right?

This was 90 episodes ago and I don't think there's been a single worse writer since
fruithag, June 24, 2015, 06:34:09 pm

Since that episode? That one story in Episode 112 (the woman-crushing one) gives it a run for its money, if not outright beats it.

Lemon had it right, though. The worst writer since the beginning is still the guy who wrote "superpwerful piss," and that was only 4 episodes before the breast-expansion one.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: AgentCoop on June 24, 2015, 09:22:53 pm
"Did the fucking mars volta write this?!?"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: LaserSeusan on June 26, 2015, 02:06:52 pm
"Fuuuuck Yooou! Fuck you, fuck your generation, fuck the town you grew up in"
-Lemon, (don't remember which episode)
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Nikaer Drekin on June 26, 2015, 02:13:12 pm
That sounds like the IDKYBILY girl, Charlizzle-blizzle or whatever her awful nickname was. Which I believe was the indiegogo episode?
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: positive stress on June 26, 2015, 07:14:49 pm
Yep, that's after she says "I believe stickers are a method for ending racism". I think that's the third time I've seen that quote in this thread, which is 100% acceptable IMO
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Glitterbomber on June 27, 2015, 10:19:40 am
Which episode involved a debate on who'd win, Goku or Superman, with one poster angrily declaring "Ki blasts aren't MAGIC they're made FROM magic" and the podcast just losing their shit?
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: positive stress on June 27, 2015, 03:37:40 pm
That was some reddit nerds in r/mystupidopinions
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Glitterbomber on June 27, 2015, 10:59:02 pm
Of course it was
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: positive stress on June 30, 2015, 10:00:40 pm
I'm drunk on Tropic Chillerz
Dancing with my blowup doll
I'm gonna go vomit on the floo
r♪
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Lady Frenzy on July 01, 2015, 01:03:50 am
I love human lasagna. I hate human Mondays.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: KingKalamari on July 01, 2015, 12:54:03 pm
The Search for Terrestrial Intelligence is probably one of my favourite episodes:

"You sound like a writer for Fox News"
"Um, I already am"
"Oh, I guess that's where you got your style guide from"
"Mmm-hmm"

"No one, on Earth, is gay"
"But I saw one this morning!"
"You might not have been on Earth then, motherfucker"
"[Huge, exaggerated gasp]"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: positive stress on July 02, 2015, 12:18:57 am
Adam's whole reading of "How to Send Dirty Texts" is so good

"They're... downtown brown"

"It's such a hot balmy Mississippi evening"

"I was masturbating when we were talking, is that okay?"

"Tell the person how your body feels during the exchange!" "I'm all clammy and gross! I'm shivering on towels for you baby!"

Also kumquat's "I DO LOOK LIKE SCARLETT JOHANSSON, WANNA PLAY BASEBALL?"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Boots Raingear on July 02, 2015, 07:40:09 am
"They're... downtown brown"
fruithag, July 02, 2015, 12:18:57 am
Sometimes pre-recording chat leaks into episodes. This is what I was drinking, I was taking a swig when he said that.
(http://i.imgur.com/P6NQAqi.jpg)
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Lady Frenzy on July 06, 2015, 01:08:27 pm
"'I'm usually an Old Republic girl, but it might be fun to explore some newer territory, that specific territory being in the months or years following Order 66.'"
"I... don't... I don't even know. I don't even know if any of our fans know this."
"It's in the the third movie when--"
"Don't explain thiiiis."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: positive stress on July 06, 2015, 11:38:59 pm
Did they notice how I sat still, very still, immobile as the sunlight arced and played over my face and bare arms? Did they notice that I’d vandalised a library book? Did they wonder how far I’ve gone with a man?

Boots: Hey, check out that girl on the bus. She's just sitting there. She's just sitting there, she's not even doing anything!

Lemon: Look at that fucking slut reading a book!

Boots: She's not waving her hands... she's just reading a book!

Lemon: God damn it, she's still- I bet she likes the diiiiiiiiiick
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Sherlockian on July 07, 2015, 12:51:25 pm
I want to fuck a lawn sprinkler!

John: If she does that 'tchk tchk pppppppp' thing while we're doing it, it'll be even better!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Boots Raingear on July 09, 2015, 05:10:52 pm
Lemon: "How much do you get out of these wetting video clicks?"
Stog "I get... 12 cents"
Boots: "Net?"
Stog: "Gross"
Portaxx: "Agreed"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Blandest on July 10, 2015, 01:35:44 am
Hopefully someone knows what I am talking about but there is an episode where someone sings something along the lines of "something something something, maple syrup hockey" to the Degrassi tune which I have always loved but I can never remember properly.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: One Of The Crappy Pokemon That Nobody Likes on July 10, 2015, 01:55:02 am
Hopefully someone knows what I am talking about but there is an episode where someone sings something along the lines of "something something something, maple syrup hockey" to the Degrassi tune which I have always loved but I can never remember properly.
Blandest, July 10, 2015, 01:35:44 am

Isfahan singing "stoppin' at Tim Horton's, maple syrup hockey" but I can't remember which stinger it is. It's an episode I edited though, that I'm pretty sure of.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Boots Raingear on July 10, 2015, 08:18:38 am
Hopefully someone knows what I am talking about but there is an episode where someone sings something along the lines of "something something something, maple syrup hockey" to the Degrassi tune which I have always loved but I can never remember properly.
Blandest, July 10, 2015, 01:35:44 am
I started singing the Degrassi Jr. High theme song but couldn't remember the anything past the first 5 words "Wake up in the morning...". Isfahan helped
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Lady Frenzy on July 10, 2015, 10:46:35 am
My daughter is my mother and I just ran out of whiskey
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Isfahan on July 10, 2015, 11:58:44 am
I thought up the next line shortly after we finished recording:

"gonna watch some curling too"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Nemo2342 on July 10, 2015, 08:37:10 pm
Hopefully someone knows what I am talking about but there is an episode where someone sings something along the lines of "something something something, maple syrup hockey" to the Degrassi tune which I have always loved but I can never remember properly.
Blandest, July 10, 2015, 01:35:44 am

Isfahan singing "stoppin' at Tim Horton's, maple syrup hockey" but I can't remember which stinger it is. It's an episode I edited though, that I'm pretty sure of.
portaxx, July 10, 2015, 01:55:02 am

I knew it was an episode I've listened to a lot. The first one I checked was "Just The 160,000 Of Us" (found by searching for the term "annoying people") and sure it enough, that was the one.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Stone doggo effigy on July 11, 2015, 12:28:22 pm
I knew it was an episode I've listened to a lot. The first one I checked was "Just The 160,000 Of Us" (found by searching for the term "annoying people") and sure it enough, that was the one.
Nemo2342, July 10, 2015, 08:37:10 pm

You truly have bested me, to preserve my honour I will now need to learn the F Plus version of seppuku.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: AgentCoop on July 11, 2015, 02:42:07 pm
I knew it was an episode I've listened to a lot. The first one I checked was "Just The 160,000 Of Us" (found by searching for the term "annoying people") and sure it enough, that was the one.
Nemo2342, July 10, 2015, 08:37:10 pm

You truly have bested me, to preserve my honour I will now need to learn the F Plus version of seppuku.
Lord Huchungus, July 11, 2015, 12:28:22 pm
It involves gamers hip magazines
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Stone doggo effigy on July 11, 2015, 04:26:44 pm
To name one that I don't believe has been mentioned yet, I really enjoyed the "Enjoy your opiate, masses!" line from the christmas episode.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: positive stress on July 15, 2015, 11:31:13 pm
The car fucking episode is one of my favorites

Jimmyfranks: Now, the first thing that you should note is that the inside of the tailpipe is usually coated with soot.

Lemon: Where's the part where this is a good idea?
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: tissuebot on July 20, 2015, 12:07:17 am
A line I'll never forget is;
"Welcome to The Angsty Wang"
If I ever start a pub, that's what i'll name it. Anyone with a ballpit account drink free. 10% off for food.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Murphy on July 21, 2015, 04:53:01 am
This is The Internet. Tell me about your penis!Quote from
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Nikaer Drekin on July 21, 2015, 08:31:59 am
YOU'RE SOMEBODY ELSE'S CAT!
I STOLE YOOOOOOOOUUUUUU!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Glitterbomber on July 21, 2015, 05:06:05 pm
This one was ripe with great quotes.

"So, Lemon, what you're saying is not all men."
"No! I'm actually trying specifically to avoid saying that."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: positive stress on July 25, 2015, 02:59:21 am
It was the work started by Nietzsche, but finished by Debuchan94.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Caroline on July 28, 2015, 09:11:11 am
The word 'guggalo'.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: slambam on July 31, 2015, 12:21:57 pm
IT'S A BOWL OF EYEBALLS!!!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Gyro on August 03, 2015, 02:50:42 pm
"That's not a vampire slayer you're thinking of, that's a bottom."
...
"Buffy the Vampire Bottom!"

I don't care if it was posted already. Oh my god, that quote.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: SleepySnake on August 05, 2015, 06:44:53 pm
"Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard to wrap up Roy Orbison in cling-film."

Also, the enthusiasm towards wrapping up Roy in the choose your own adventure game was beautiful.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: slambam on August 06, 2015, 06:18:12 pm
i have had sex with all of god's creatures and they are all just as beautiful as they are wise
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: STOG on August 09, 2015, 07:27:13 pm
NSFW content. Click to show.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Puppy Time on August 10, 2015, 08:32:54 am
"the Gucci Candiru"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: McMillan and Waifu on August 10, 2015, 08:47:15 pm
"The watchgirls forum is the only forum where I've searched 'Harry Potter' and got no results"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Caroline on August 12, 2015, 07:44:48 am
"That's a pretty low-cut top for a dog."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Spoop on August 16, 2015, 02:36:36 pm
Who can resist the siren song of beer nuts?
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Liatai on August 16, 2015, 06:01:31 pm
"And finally, 'I wanna be gay, what should I do?!'"

"A dude."

Scattered laughter. "That's a good start!"

(Lemon and Isfahan, "Ask A Stupid Question, Make A Stupid Podcast")
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Cleretic on August 19, 2015, 03:11:32 am
"Oh god, they're locusts! They're joke locusts!"
"It's a plague of sarcastic crickets!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: chai tea latte on August 19, 2015, 04:35:39 am
LEMON: "Hey, speed up, blue-hair!" could be printed in XL letters in mirror image for granny to check out in the rear-view.
Adam: Take that, granny.
Portaxx: Take that, Marge Simpson.
[var. laughter, 'oh my!']
Adam: You have aged, out of respect.
Boots: Take that, animé!
[only Lemon laughs]
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Adam Bozarth on August 20, 2015, 03:16:52 pm
With his power, he is becoming dust in the wind!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Fanzay on August 21, 2015, 04:25:40 am
Is he saying he's not having sex with people?
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: GirlKisser420 on August 21, 2015, 07:07:41 am
That's what Goblins do.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Caroline on August 21, 2015, 12:08:15 pm
ASBESTOS CANOOOOOOOOOE!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Stone doggo effigy on August 21, 2015, 05:14:24 pm
The Portaxx-brand Swedish chef from "This beat is dope" always makes me laugh.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: The Comna on August 21, 2015, 07:47:07 pm
"The sound of Nutshell Gulag speaking"--Jimmyfranks (episode 185)
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: positive stress on August 21, 2015, 10:43:55 pm
Put your headphones on your butt!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Liatai on September 02, 2015, 01:59:36 am
I'm not sure if it wholly counts as a quote, but Jack Chick's laughter during one of the Youtube Shorts after Kumquat read "JUSTIN BUTTFUCK IS COMING TO MY SCHOOL. [gibberish] ALL THE METALHEADS ARE GONNA KILL HIM" is super contagious and always makes me smile, at least. X3

Portaxx: "Guys... Jack's going to die, I feel kinda bad."
(Jack Chick's laughter gets louder)
Isfahan: "Nobody has ever been as excited as this young man has been."
Lemon: "Look out Justin Buttfuck!!!"
Isfahan: "The metalheads are descending upon you!"
Jack Chick: "Oh no, not the metalheads!!!"
Isfahan: "There's too much denim!!!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: The Comna on September 02, 2015, 09:07:37 pm
Could somebody link this video/episode? I can't seem to find any youtube thing that has all of them in it.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Liatai on September 03, 2015, 02:21:41 am
... huh. I can't seem to find it on the new site either... the downside of having the episodes downloaded and saved. :(

I know it's saved on my computer as "Short Bonanza #2: Here Comes the Metalheads" if that helps. The section I'm thinking of starts around the six-minute-forty-second mark.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Tiny Prancer on September 03, 2015, 04:49:56 am
I think that's extra content that was cut from an episode and uploaded separately, I remember listening to that one as well.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Lemon on September 03, 2015, 11:08:03 am
I feel like I remember that somebody did a thing where they stitched together that whole batch of shorts and yanked out the F+Live ads. Anyone remember who that was? I'd put that up on the site if I knew where that file was.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Liatai on September 04, 2015, 06:03:00 pm
I don't know, nor do I have any audio editing knowledge or I'd make it myself, but if anybody wants to try doing that and needs the audio, I have the short bonanza's five sections all saved. (Along with some other outtakes/specials.)
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Lemon on September 08, 2015, 10:22:08 am
I feel like I remember that somebody did a thing where they stitched together that whole batch of shorts and yanked out the F+Live ads. Anyone remember who that was? I'd put that up on the site if I knew where that file was.
Lemon, September 03, 2015, 11:08:03 am

Thanks Djeser! I'll put these shorts up on the site soon.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: goombapolice on September 09, 2015, 06:26:34 am
"I for am APPALLED by having sex on top or inside a giantess's nose, but would love to walk inside  she breasts and I go deep inside her brain or other parts"

Literal perfect reading by Lemon in the giantess episode. I was huddled over and in tears from laughing.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Spoop on September 09, 2015, 08:19:45 pm
"You're listening to 96.7, Alternative Holes..."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: positive stress on September 19, 2015, 10:17:00 am
"Hello, my name is Osama bin Laden- now, don't hang up, I have some exciting information for you"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Haydon on September 22, 2015, 03:57:53 pm
Lemon: ...the Dozerfleet Founder felt as though the faculty was actively trying to sabotage his relationship before it even officially started. First in-lab at-school project together - aw, it's weird how everybody's conspiring to make this relationship work. Um, there was no way to do it without fish parts getting - what the fuck? Oh, oh, I skipped a sentence and all of a sudden they're--
Frank West: I kinda like it better--
Bunnybread: No, no, don't you dare explain this one.
Lemon: Holy shit--
Bunnybread: Don't you dare - keep going.
Lemon: Okay,--
Bunnybread: Keep going, straight ahead.
Lemon: Brrr, sure, okay, fair enough. I'm going to skip ONE sentence. There was no way to do it-- oh my god--
Bunnybread: No way to do what?
Lemon: Okay, hang on... Holy shit - okay. Ha, so I'm skipping one sentence. There was no way to do it without fish parts getting everywhere, including on Carly's face---
Frank West [clearly having realised his entire life has been leading up to this moment]: ...another thing condoms won't protect you from.
[Much laughter]

Still absolutely my favourite bit of your entire corpus, with respect to all the rest of it
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Spoop on September 22, 2015, 06:17:10 pm
I suffer from a brain injury where everything square to me is fudge.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: positive stress on September 22, 2015, 09:27:22 pm
STOG: I remember seeing WeirdJohn12 on C-SPAN, he threw his Star Destroyer at the other guy and he won the debate.

Bunnybread: That was Alan Grayson, god damn it, STOG.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: slambam on September 24, 2015, 09:42:03 am
"I DO NOT ACCEPT YOUR OPINION"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Sherlockian on September 24, 2015, 12:48:04 pm
"Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, so anyway clit rings."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: STOG on September 27, 2015, 07:57:50 am
Boots' performance of "Do You Know A Monkey With An Apartment?" comes startlingly close to some of the most mind-numbing conversations I've ever had in my life (in terms of how he just goes along with what he's saying full stop in the most cheerful, positive, sell-you-this-movie way).

Other person: "This is a story about a monkey named Mac that is raised as a human and forced to be sent back to Africa."
Me: Yup.
Other person: "Meanwhile the boys build a go-cart and so does some girls from school and they race against some bad boys at school who won a go-cart."
Me: Love it.
Other person: "A goofy police is now looking for them, but his priorities are out of order."
Me: (preparing a noose) Great. Wonderful.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Nyarai on October 08, 2015, 06:28:04 pm
I have a distinct memory of this quote, but I can't for the life of me remember which episode it features in.

Boots: *audibly disgusted* Do I- Do I have to read this next part?
Jack Chick: Not only do you have to read the words, but you have to believe them and they have to become true for you now too.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: One Of The Crappy Pokemon That Nobody Likes on October 08, 2015, 06:30:40 pm
I have a distinct memory of this quote, but I can't for the life of me remember which episode it features in.

Boots: *audibly disgusted* Do I- Do I have to read this next part?
Jack Chick: Not only do you have to read the words, but you have to believe them and they have to become true for you now too.
Nyarai, October 08, 2015, 06:28:04 pm

Boots reading about doll wives, way back in the fuckdoll episode. Also contains:

Boots: "Actually isn't Bunnybread responsible for this [episode]?"
Bunnybread: "Yeah I am, I really am"
Boots: "Yeah fuck you Bunnybread"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: positive stress on October 08, 2015, 08:34:01 pm
"Chicks be lizards"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Dawnswalker on October 25, 2015, 01:31:46 am
""Knock knock! It's the police...For kids!"

Also:

"Yes, I became a pill-popping medical pig."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Because Fucking a Decapitated Sherman Tank Would Be Creepy on October 31, 2015, 12:54:41 am
"I don't know what sports are, I'm too busy baking shoes!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: goombapolice on November 03, 2015, 08:14:10 am
"Pronounced 'grey' or 'OI CRIKEY GRUAYH'"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Because Fucking a Decapitated Sherman Tank Would Be Creepy on November 06, 2015, 02:51:14 pm
Lemon in re: a "loli-loving bisexual anime otaku."
"GO TO JAIL!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: AgentCoop on November 06, 2015, 02:52:33 pm
"WING-BONER ANYONE?"

"ummm, no thanks I ate"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Because Fucking a Decapitated Sherman Tank Would Be Creepy on November 07, 2015, 11:36:22 am
"CRICKETS!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: positive stress on November 18, 2015, 08:55:28 pm
Reddit: McDonald's
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Because Fucking a Decapitated Sherman Tank Would Be Creepy on November 22, 2015, 05:25:48 am
Isfahan's desperate battle to read that boob inflation fic that included a bunch of insane phrases like "her pudgy eel, replete with sack" and "solipsistic self-consumption" gets me every time.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Isfahan on November 22, 2015, 08:22:20 am
Isfahan's desperate battle to read that boob inflation fic that included a bunch of insane phrases like "her pudgy eel, replete with sack" and "solipsistic self-consumption" gets me every time.
Sherman Tank, November 22, 2015, 05:25:48 am

You can tell when the author of the thing you're reading—be it a story or a forum post or whatever—is a manchild or has general fucked-up concepts of sexuality if they can only refer to genitalia via euphemism. This also applies to stories with mature subject matter like descriptive violence or gore but censored foul language, like the Resident Evil script in episode 41.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Because Fucking a Decapitated Sherman Tank Would Be Creepy on December 01, 2015, 02:06:59 am
"Keep talking about your cock, goddammit, what is wrong with you? This is the internet, tell me about your penis!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: goombapolice on December 01, 2015, 07:53:30 am
"A weak laugh escapes their lips as they sit theirselves upright the realization washing over them that trying to stave off death is useless at that point. Their bloody hand reaches down- WHAT WHY!?"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Yavuz on December 15, 2015, 12:14:14 am
"Okay, first off, I am a chick. I got tits, and a vag, and everything."

ETA: Also, "I'm going to pee in your mouth, bleh!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Because Fucking a Decapitated Sherman Tank Would Be Creepy on December 16, 2015, 05:17:02 am
"HELLO. MY NAME IS PETROS. I GIVE TALK CALL: VORTEX BIOSHIELD."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Because Fucking a Decapitated Sherman Tank Would Be Creepy on December 18, 2015, 08:49:12 pm
"You're not Bunnybread and you never will be."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Because Fucking a Decapitated Sherman Tank Would Be Creepy on December 27, 2015, 03:19:45 pm
Lemon: Hey, F Plus.
Jack Chick: Hey Lemon.
Lemon: What... what did we learn from this really really long website?
Bunnybread: The opposite of knowledge.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Nikaer Drekin on December 27, 2015, 03:23:38 pm
Portaxx in dumb-girl persona saying that Steve Guttenberg invented the printing press still gets me every time.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Nyarai on December 27, 2015, 05:09:41 pm
"Finish your sentence, Boots." Lemon's admonishing tone tickles me every time. It's like he's telling Boots to eat his vegetables.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Because Fucking a Decapitated Sherman Tank Would Be Creepy on December 27, 2015, 09:49:15 pm
"Bird knees don't bend backwards!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Old_Zircon on January 18, 2016, 08:28:20 pm
From the Blurtit episode,  I personally enjoy,  "THE PENIS IS BLOOD!"

It really helped me increase the size of my panic.
achillesheelies, June 04, 2015, 06:54:13 pm

PENIS IS BLOOD! is a favorite of mine, too.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Because Fucking a Decapitated Sherman Tank Would Be Creepy on January 18, 2016, 08:50:04 pm
Which was the episode where Lemon says that the document submitter "dumped us in the fucking deep end"?
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: positive stress on January 18, 2016, 09:27:28 pm
Which was the episode where Lemon says that the document submitter "dumped us in the fucking deep end"?
Sherman Tank, January 18, 2016, 08:50:04 pm

I believe that was "witchyhow.com"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Because Fucking a Decapitated Sherman Tank Would Be Creepy on January 18, 2016, 09:44:47 pm
Yeah, it was.

And for those keeping score at home, the exact quote was "Want to uh, just mention uh, right here at the top that uh this document was made uh, made possible to us by A Meat, uh, thank you A Meat and... uh, dropped us in the fucking deep end."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Yavuz on January 19, 2016, 07:29:52 pm
"So that's what happened to the pot roast!" Nutshell's voice is what makes it really work.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Gyro on January 21, 2016, 10:56:59 am
In the context of the growth of ballp.it:
It's gone from like eight people, just, tellin' jokes -Quote from
and seven of those people are IsfahanQuote from
[freakout]
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Isfahan on January 21, 2016, 05:02:14 pm
I admit I was one of the people who told Lemon I didn't think forums would catch on, especially if there was a paywall. After the forums did go up, however, I went on a posting rampage to try and get some momentum going.

My rampage has stopped, but I will still accept Lemon's inference that I am the source of 7/8ths of the jokes you read on these forums. [orbison]
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: AgentCoop on January 21, 2016, 05:11:49 pm
I admit I was one of the people who told Lemon I didn't think forums would catch on, especially if there was a paywall. After the forums did go up, however, I went on a posting rampage to try and get some momentum going.

My rampage has stopped, but I will still accept Lemon's inference that I am the source of 7/8ths of the jokes you read on these forums. [orbison]
Isfahan, January 21, 2016, 05:02:14 pm
When we make the ballp.it movie, now we know who'll say
"It'll never catch on"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: goombapolice on January 22, 2016, 06:04:21 am
*Record Scratch*
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Lemon on January 22, 2016, 09:10:16 am
the exact quote was "Want to uh, just mention uh, right here at the top that uh this document was made uh, made possible to us by A Meat, uh, thank you A Meat and... uh, dropped us in the fucking deep end."
Sherman Tank, January 18, 2016, 09:44:47 pm

It's a little disturbing how many times a person types "uh" when they're transcribing me.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Liatai on January 22, 2016, 10:04:30 am
Okay, I give. Which episode is Kumquat's "FREE! PETTING! ZOO!" from? ^^;
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: A Meat on January 22, 2016, 12:16:30 pm
Okay, I give. Which episode is Kumquat's "FREE! PETTING! ZOO!" from? ^^;
Liatai, January 22, 2016, 10:04:30 am
GoFundMe, comedian idiot asks for a million bucks to build a farm and promises FREE PETTING ZOO!!!! in return.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Boots Raingear on January 22, 2016, 12:59:05 pm
Noodle Levenstein (http://www.noodlescomedy.com/) has been my Skype avatar image since we recorded that episode. His website is much worse than I remembered, perhaps it's changed?
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: montrith on January 22, 2016, 01:03:46 pm
the exact quote was "Want to uh, just mention uh, right here at the top that uh this document was made uh, made possible to us by A Meat, uh, thank you A Meat and... uh, dropped us in the fucking deep end."
Sherman Tank, January 18, 2016, 09:44:47 pm

It's a little disturbing how many times a person types "uh" when they're transcribing me.
Lemon, January 22, 2016, 09:10:16 am

Could be worse, we could transcribe every "Yeah yeah yeah...yeah!".
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Murphy on January 22, 2016, 03:11:15 pm
Noodle Levenstein (http://www.noodlescomedy.com/) has been my Skype avatar image since we recorded that episode. His website is much worse than I remembered, perhaps it's changed?
Boots Raingear, January 22, 2016, 12:59:05 pm

I want that jazzy little tune to play all the time on every web page.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Lemon on January 22, 2016, 03:56:09 pm
Noodles Levenstein (http://www.noodlescomedy.com/)
Boots Raingear, January 22, 2016, 12:59:05 pm

Can somebody please write a GameFAQs guide on how to click on any of the content on this website without it disappearing first? I have some luck if I come in fast from the right, but then I have to stop in the middle. Under no circumstances should you move your cursor up.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Murphy on January 22, 2016, 04:03:17 pm
Noodles Levenstein (http://www.noodlescomedy.com/)
Boots Raingear, January 22, 2016, 12:59:05 pm

Can somebody please write a GameFAQs guide on how to click on any of the content on this website without it disappearing first? I have some luck if I come in fast from the right, but then I have to stop in the middle. Under no circumstances should you move your cursor up.
Lemon, January 22, 2016, 03:56:09 pm

It always disappears for me when I go in from the left. I have to go under and quickly diagonally right-up to hit the play button.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Lemon on January 22, 2016, 04:08:12 pm
Finally managed to click the Paparazzi link, which was really difficult. It's a photo gallery, written in Flash. There's photos of Noodles with such luminaries as Andrew "Dice" Clay and Sam Kinison. If you click on a thumbnail it brings up a photo over the thumbnails, with no way back. If you click on another thumbnail, it puts a second photo on top of it.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: strifeheart on January 22, 2016, 05:54:21 pm
I think it's easiest if you come down from the top (and only the home page has this weird disappearing problem). Once expanded, the photos on "Paparazzi" go away if you click on them.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Because Fucking a Decapitated Sherman Tank Would Be Creepy on January 22, 2016, 06:33:43 pm
His facebook is hilarious because it's all just periodic photos from whatever hellish cruise ship entertainer job he's got. He's basically one step away from being a doomed bit player in some hellish Poseidon Adventure prequel.

So much for the petting zoo, I guess.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: jack chick on January 23, 2016, 01:29:59 am
hellish cruise ship entertainer job
Sherman Tank, January 22, 2016, 06:33:43 pm

fun fact - the musicians gigs on cruise ships pay insanely well.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: chai tea latte on January 23, 2016, 01:49:52 am
JC which episode is it where you say the I'm skinny goodbye line - I feel like it's one of the Yahoo Answers clones but can't remember which. Google wasn't helpful
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: spunkzilla69 on January 23, 2016, 06:24:20 am
"I call screwing the tail-pipe while the car's hot 'fuckin' the car hot'. NEVER FUCK A CAR HOT!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Nyarai on January 23, 2016, 09:14:28 am
JC which episode is it where you say the I'm skinny goodbye line - I feel like it's one of the Yahoo Answers clones but can't remember which. Google wasn't helpful
chai tea latte, January 23, 2016, 01:49:52 am

Episode 22, in response to ICE CREAM ADDICTION, HELP ME
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: chai tea latte on January 23, 2016, 09:16:46 am
JC which episode is it where you say the I'm skinny goodbye line - I feel like it's one of the Yahoo Answers clones but can't remember which. Google wasn't helpful
chai tea latte, January 23, 2016, 01:49:52 am

Episode 22, in response to ICE CREAM ADDICTION, HELP ME
Nyarai, January 23, 2016, 09:14:28 am
thanks!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: LINDA on January 28, 2016, 07:44:34 pm
Kumquat: I could probably make a table of comparisons!
Portaxx: out of Maxi Pads
Kumquat: It has a leaf!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Acierocolotl on January 29, 2016, 04:50:48 pm
It's a little disturbing how many times a person types "uh" when they're transcribing me.
Lemon, January 22, 2016, 09:10:16 am

Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Gyro on January 30, 2016, 10:42:00 am
It's a little disturbing how many times a person types "uh" when they're transcribing me.
Lemon, January 22, 2016, 09:10:16 am

Acierocolotl, January 29, 2016, 04:50:48 pm

Wow, the new Banjo-Kazooie game looks really realistic.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Nyarai on January 30, 2016, 11:30:04 am
Kumquat: I could probably make a table of comparisons!
Portaxx: out of Maxi Pads
Kumquat: It has a leaf!
eudo, January 28, 2016, 07:44:34 pm

What episode is this?
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Laocius on February 06, 2016, 05:06:05 pm
"Well, there's a joke from another universe."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Kaleidoscope on February 06, 2016, 05:18:58 pm
"The dragon rubbed my booty Lemon!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: LINDA on February 08, 2016, 10:52:02 am
Kumquat: I could probably make a table of comparisons!
Portaxx: out of Maxi Pads
Kumquat: It has a leaf!
eudo, January 28, 2016, 07:44:34 pm

What episode is this?
Nyarai, January 30, 2016, 11:30:04 am

adult babies! (63)
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Gyro on February 08, 2016, 11:11:26 am
"Well, there's a joke from another universe."
Laocius, February 06, 2016, 05:06:05 pm
"I programmed my husband in Visual Basic."

"Thanks, STOG!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: McMillan and Waifu on February 08, 2016, 07:32:25 pm
*extremely nerd voice* I JUST SCHOOLED YOU, IMMORTAL TECHNIQUE
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Nyarai on February 08, 2016, 08:34:30 pm
Thanks, eudo.

You need something to tame your flyaways, Erica. (I'm a bitchy doll.)
Quote from
Now, I think of this quote every time I see the word flyaways, and I do digital work for a photography studio. Thanks, fplus. :P
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Bodark on February 09, 2016, 12:12:45 pm
"My crotch is a vortex, and my feet come to points!" -Boots, episode 189
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Gyro on February 09, 2016, 02:32:00 pm
Thanks, eudo.

You need something to tame your flyaways, Erica. (I'm a bitchy doll.)
Quote from
Now, I think of this quote every time I see the word flyaways, and I do digital work for a photography studio. Thanks, fplus. :P
Nyarai, February 08, 2016, 08:34:30 pm

In my job doing layout for a newspaper, we use the term "Courtesy photo" often.

Thanks, HumidResearcher.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Mulder on February 09, 2016, 04:11:51 pm
I can't remember the episode for the life of me and it drives me crazy.

"The lizard people on planet AAAAAAGGGGHHHHH thought that sentence was fine!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: One Of The Crappy Pokemon That Nobody Likes on February 10, 2016, 04:10:17 am
I can't remember the episode for the life of me and it drives me crazy.

"The lizard people on planet AAAAAAGGGGHHHHH thought that sentence was fine!"
Flosser, February 09, 2016, 04:11:51 pm

Quantum jump to the dimension where you remember it!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Because Fucking a Decapitated Sherman Tank Would Be Creepy on February 10, 2016, 05:37:15 am
From the car-fucking, exhaust pipe-huffing episode:

"These are the survivors of the last forums."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Nyarai on February 10, 2016, 10:15:20 am
TAB, TAB, TAB... help!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: boooo566 on February 13, 2016, 11:14:39 am
Does anyone know which episode has them ruining the black metal scene in New York? I thought it was the new spell of magick one, but that's the prostitute disfigurement one.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Yavuz on February 13, 2016, 12:06:27 pm
Does anyone know which episode has them ruining the black metal scene in New York? I thought it was the new spell of magick one, but that's the prostitute disfigurement one.
moooo566, February 13, 2016, 11:14:39 am

It was the John Kitchin episode (https://thefpl.us/episode/168).
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: boooo566 on February 13, 2016, 12:06:43 pm
Ah, thanks!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Because Fucking a Decapitated Sherman Tank Would Be Creepy on February 16, 2016, 06:12:57 pm
I love the way the plushie fucker episode starts:

Jimmyfranks: Why couldn't we do WikiHow this week?
Lemon: We did WikiHow last week, asshole! Ha ha!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: izzy on February 17, 2016, 06:56:08 am
From the Epinions episode:

Lemon: Now we get to play "Guess what actually happened!" Any guesses?
Frank West: ...A severe concussion?
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Lemon on February 17, 2016, 11:59:03 am
From #178 (https://thefpl.us/episode/178)

John Toast: #1: Take a bunch of pills. #2: Jack offfffffffffffff!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Yavuz on February 22, 2016, 12:47:52 pm
"...I wish I was cumming in my sheets." - Lemon, The F Plus
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Because Fucking a Decapitated Sherman Tank Would Be Creepy on February 22, 2016, 01:22:24 pm
"I'm gonna skip the part where Pinky and the Brain fuck."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: chai tea latte on March 01, 2016, 08:49:53 pm
I'm the Studs Terkel of raves!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Because Fucking a Decapitated Sherman Tank Would Be Creepy on March 01, 2016, 08:59:29 pm
Portaxx: So we have like just old fortune teller lady looking into STOG's balls and seeing the future.
Lemon: Your future is... euuugh.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Yavuz on March 02, 2016, 12:09:59 am
Does anyone know where the best "YES HELLO" from Kumquatxop is? I'm making F Plus ringtones, and I think that that would be an essential part of the collection.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: GirlKisser420 on March 02, 2016, 04:09:26 pm
Does anyone know where the best "YES HELLO" from Kumquatxop is? I'm making F Plus ringtones, and I think that that would be an essential part of the collection.
Yavuz Sultan Selim, March 02, 2016, 12:09:59 am

http://thefpl.us/podcasts/yeah_megamix.mp3
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Nifty Nif on March 02, 2016, 04:51:32 pm
Does anyone know where the best "YES HELLO" from Kumquatxop is? I'm making F Plus ringtones, and I think that that would be an essential part of the collection.
Yavuz Sultan Selim, March 02, 2016, 12:09:59 am

http://thefpl.us/podcasts/yeah_megamix.mp3
GirlKisser420, March 02, 2016, 04:09:26 pm
That's going to be my voice mail message
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: eldritchhat on March 02, 2016, 08:15:31 pm
Does anyone know where the best "YES HELLO" from Kumquatxop is? I'm making F Plus ringtones, and I think that that would be an essential part of the collection.
Yavuz Sultan Selim, March 02, 2016, 12:09:59 am
I must warn you my friend, every morning I wake in up in a cold sweat, and hear a strange, guttural voice repeating a single word: "PARTY"

let me hear you holler...
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Curious Robot on March 03, 2016, 02:58:03 am
Does anyone know where the best "YES HELLO" from Kumquatxop is? I'm making F Plus ringtones, and I think that that would be an essential part of the collection.
Yavuz Sultan Selim, March 02, 2016, 12:09:59 am

http://thefpl.us/podcasts/yeah_megamix.mp3
GirlKisser420, March 02, 2016, 04:09:26 pm
That's going to be my voice mail message
Nifty Nif, March 02, 2016, 04:51:32 pm

I have a new alarm tone now. I will never sleep in again.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Gyro on March 07, 2016, 09:12:25 am
Boots: "Yeah, we're not going to dictate how the listeners of this podcast are all gonna do their footjobs."
Lemon: "You're right, you're right. I'm sorry, continue."
John Toast: "Just... make sure to put some sole into it."
Lemon: "AwwwwWW JESUS. Welcome back, John!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: A Meat on March 07, 2016, 01:39:24 pm
Portaxx's Thwomp noise in the Protein Pancakes bit in the bodybuilding episode is pitch perfect.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Because Fucking a Decapitated Sherman Tank Would Be Creepy on March 07, 2016, 07:55:44 pm
♪ I am waiting for my lover, he is from ancient Norwegia ♪
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Nifty Nif on March 08, 2016, 02:01:45 pm
I'm trying to place a quote that I heard the other day and I can't for the life of me remember the episode I was listening to.
Something-something military, something-something someone says something militaryish,
and then Isfahan says something that sounds hilarious, and I am assuming is actual military jargon, ending with "...you are unsat."
I just want to source the full Isfahan quote because I only remember the end and that alone makes me giggle.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Spooks on March 08, 2016, 02:18:21 pm
That should be the latest rage episode.

I love Battlestar Galactica the same way you love crystal meth, you junkie whore!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: AgentCoop on March 08, 2016, 04:57:33 pm
I'm trying to place a quote that I heard the other day and I can't for the life of me remember the episode I was listening to.
Something-something military, something-something someone says something militaryish,
and then Isfahan says something that sounds hilarious, and I am assuming is actual military jargon, ending with "...you are unsat."
I just want to source the full Isfahan quote because I only remember the end and that alone makes me giggle.
Nifty Nif, March 08, 2016, 02:01:45 pm
I think it's 202, the rage forum one
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Nikaer Drekin on March 08, 2016, 05:24:35 pm
That should be the latest rage episode.

I love Battlestar Galactica the same way you love crystal meth, you junkie whore!
Spooks, March 08, 2016, 02:18:21 pm

"And Jessicaaaaaa kissed girls under the tabllllllllllllleeeee..."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Nifty Nif on March 08, 2016, 05:38:54 pm
You both got it!
Isfahan: You're just all ate up, aren't you?  You are unsat.
Lemon: Oh?  No, I'm sitting in this chair.

Something about this tickles me
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Isfahan on March 08, 2016, 07:22:05 pm
Well it wasn't my fault, Lemon was the one being low-speed high-drag. He's a fuckin' soup sandwich, I tell you what.  Probably a blue falcon, too.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: One Of The Crappy Pokemon That Nobody Likes on March 08, 2016, 07:26:22 pm
Well it wasn't my fault, Lemon was the one being low-speed high-drag. He's a fuckin' soup sandwich, I tell you what.  Probably a blue falcon, too.
Isfahan, March 08, 2016, 07:22:05 pm

OH SHIT LEMON CAN YOU GET ME DYNOMUTT'S AUTOGRAPH???
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Nifty Nif on March 08, 2016, 07:37:53 pm
Well it wasn't my fault, Lemon was the one being low-speed high-drag. He's a fuckin' soup sandwich, I tell you what.  Probably a blue falcon, too.
Isfahan, March 08, 2016, 07:22:05 pm
Soup sandwich!!! [freakout]
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Isfahan on March 09, 2016, 06:05:28 pm
Lemon describing the taste of the whiskey bananas in A Portland Podcast was both wonderfully funny and extremely effective. Like, you'd be hard-pressed to deliver a more efficient explanation than "imagine a tire fire ejaculating into your mouth."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Nikaer Drekin on March 09, 2016, 07:26:45 pm
Lemon describing the taste of the whiskey bananas in A Portland Podcast was both wonderfully funny and extremely effective. Like, you'd be hard-pressed to deliver a more efficient explanation than "imagine a tire fire ejaculating into your mouth."
Isfahan, March 09, 2016, 06:05:28 pm

Same for the visuals! Not that I know from experience, but "a hobo's dick" seems like it's a remarkably apt description.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: SATAN MILKSHAKE on March 10, 2016, 03:15:26 am
I am amazed that it took until the comment section to get to "it looks like poopoo" because that is the first thing I thought when I saw that image.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: goombapolice on March 10, 2016, 07:16:55 am
"Now... I've never seen a hobo's dick..."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: NutshellGulag on March 10, 2016, 12:25:07 pm
I have. Portland's serious homeless problem allows you to get an excruciating eyeful of all sorts of things as you wait for the bus.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Boots Raingear on March 10, 2016, 12:36:22 pm
(http://i.imgur.com/pNJ5nTC.gif?1)
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Lady Frenzy on March 10, 2016, 01:06:47 pm
I quote "I could be described as taco-chomping" as often as any TV show line.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Because Fucking a Decapitated Sherman Tank Would Be Creepy on March 10, 2016, 03:45:57 pm
Well it wasn't my fault, Lemon was the one being low-speed high-drag. He's a fuckin' soup sandwich, I tell you what.  Probably a blue falcon, too.
Isfahan, March 08, 2016, 07:22:05 pm

I bet he doesn't even know how to find a PRC E7.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Shigan on March 15, 2016, 03:18:30 pm
Pikachu was smiling, talking with friends until Raichu grabbed his tighty whiteys, giving Pikachu a big wedgie. "HA, TIGHTY WHITEY WEARING NERD!" PIKACHU BLUSHED.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Spooks on March 16, 2016, 11:20:52 am
Reddit kind of is the "2,5 million super-prison" of the Internet.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Because Fucking a Decapitated Sherman Tank Would Be Creepy on March 16, 2016, 07:50:20 pm
"Y'know... we inside the Gestapo have a different view on the words 'war crimes'."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: positive stress on March 16, 2016, 09:14:24 pm
"Y'know... we inside the Gestapo have a different view on the words 'war crimes'."
Sherman Tank, March 16, 2016, 07:50:20 pm

You misspelled "instide"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Because Fucking a Decapitated Sherman Tank Would Be Creepy on March 16, 2016, 09:18:03 pm
"Y'know... we inside the Gestapo have a different view on the words 'war crimes'."
Sherman Tank, March 16, 2016, 07:50:20 pm

You misspelled "instide"
fruithag, March 16, 2016, 09:14:24 pm

How supid of me.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Fanzay on March 19, 2016, 10:08:30 am
"What's your cheevos, tithaver?!"
"Oh, bboy360!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Because Fucking a Decapitated Sherman Tank Would Be Creepy on March 19, 2016, 05:26:17 pm
"Something something metal joke that's gonna take lon--way too long to explain."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Because Fucking a Decapitated Sherman Tank Would Be Creepy on March 23, 2016, 04:17:14 am
♪ I'm an angry rat and I've got anime hair ♪
♪ I don't know how wind works ♪
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Spooks on March 23, 2016, 12:29:34 pm
YOUR NAME IS "GENIE"!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Lemon on March 23, 2016, 04:02:43 pm
YOUR NAME IS "GENIE"!
Spooks, March 23, 2016, 12:29:34 pm
I sweetened that reaction in the edit. Nobody in the recording liked that joke.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Because Fucking a Decapitated Sherman Tank Would Be Creepy on March 25, 2016, 02:39:00 am
Lemon: So, uh, Victor, I got a question for you... who comes to cuddle parties?
Montrith: FREAKS!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Digital Walnut on March 25, 2016, 03:28:31 am
"If you want fucking weird, shitty drawings, giantess.net is your- eww. What? Why?! No I won't make that the episode cover, It's softcore pornography!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Caroline on March 25, 2016, 03:59:10 am
*music swells in the background* Will I never get my own bullshit???
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Isfahan on March 25, 2016, 10:47:22 am
Portaxx: *exasperated sigh* × 14

(from episode 146, "Don't Patreonize Me")
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Because Fucking a Decapitated Sherman Tank Would Be Creepy on March 27, 2016, 08:58:48 pm
Go for the BURRITO!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Nifty Nif on March 27, 2016, 09:01:30 pm
"I can feel my burrito sealing already."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: positive stress on March 27, 2016, 09:58:08 pm
NUZZLING!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: A Meat on March 28, 2016, 07:06:07 am
"Holy shit, you are the leader of the next generation, motherfucker."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Because Fucking a Decapitated Sherman Tank Would Be Creepy on March 28, 2016, 03:09:00 pm
Lemon: The two hang out with, and Jenny introduces Marble to Joy.
Bunnybread: Oh. ... This is an orgy, isn't it?
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Nifty Nif on March 30, 2016, 04:03:21 pm
Lemon: Will you verb my body part?
Bozarth: Lemon!  I am a noun!

Sadly, writing this one down kind of kills it.  It's all about Bozarth's delivery.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: positive stress on April 03, 2016, 02:26:56 am
I can never get over this one

"What is the grossest thing you've ever seen a couple do in front of you?"

"G'day, penny! Thank you for your question! Nothing too gross as I recall. Regards!"

"I've never even seen a couple!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Gyro on April 04, 2016, 01:53:58 pm
So THAT'S what happened to the pot-roast!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Yavuz on April 04, 2016, 03:29:08 pm
So THAT'S what happened to the pot-roast!
Dog Magma, April 04, 2016, 01:53:58 pm

That's one for the ringtones.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Spooks on April 06, 2016, 11:22:18 am
Ask me about my red ass!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Gyro on April 07, 2016, 10:31:15 am
NUZZLING!
fruithag, March 27, 2016, 09:58:08 pm

Which episode was this from again? The brony shit one, F-List?

They're referencing it in the hippie sex episode I'm listening to right now and I'm scratching my head trying to remember where the fuck the NUZZLING! thing came from.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Nyarai on April 07, 2016, 10:34:52 am
Brony. I listened to this one last night.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: AgentCoop on April 11, 2016, 02:19:56 pm
Nietzsche's ain't shit but hoes and tricks
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Lemon on April 12, 2016, 03:32:04 pm
BIG OLE PEAR SHAPED ASS
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: AgentCoop on April 13, 2016, 04:33:02 pm
"Thanks young thug"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Gyro on April 15, 2016, 09:00:46 am
"How about you go snap into a Slim Jim. How about you go fuck yourself."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Gyro on April 15, 2016, 02:37:53 pm
"Fuck you Montirith!"

Can you guess what episode this is from?

It's the bugfucking episode.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Spooks on April 17, 2016, 04:35:46 pm
GAH, YOU THINK YOU STRONG ???

PICK. UP.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Isfahan on April 17, 2016, 05:45:47 pm
Frank West's barely-audible "wackety, schmackety-doo" after Toast's great set-up from episode 209 is an instant grin for me, every time.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Gyro on April 18, 2016, 02:57:59 pm
She's totally going to get it off me later!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Because Fucking a Decapitated Sherman Tank Would Be Creepy on April 19, 2016, 02:38:14 am
I'm sexually inexpewienced but cuwious...
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Gyro on April 19, 2016, 09:23:01 am
"Check your muggle privilege, asshole!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Gyro on April 19, 2016, 11:25:40 am
"Every third-grader for 22 years knows I am god."

I'm sorry for double-posting, I just had to do it.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Nifty Nif on April 20, 2016, 12:30:16 pm
Request: Jack Chick F+ plainchant mastermix

I just listened to the sung chant in 154: Witchyhow.com, and I'm pretty sure there are other improvised plainchant-style ditties throughout the podcast courtesy of jc.  It tickles something in my brain as someone who has friends who are historical performance/old-ass music buffs (i.e., I know some of the correct vocabulary and can identify certain musical constructs, but most of my interactions with really old music are long conversations that are over my head).

Can we market this and sell CDs of it like that Gregorian chant that was hot in the '90s?
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: jack chick on April 20, 2016, 01:33:58 pm
Request: Jack Chick plainchant mastermix

I just listened to the sung chant in 154: Witchyhow.com, and I'm pretty sure there are other improvised plainchant-style ditties throughout the podcast courtesy of jc.  It tickles something in my brain as someone who has friends who are historical performance/old-ass music buffs (i.e., I know some of the correct vocabulary and can identify certain musical constructs, but most of my interactions with really old music are long conversations that are over my head).

Can we market this and sell CDs of it like that Gregorian chant that was hot in the '90s?
Nifty Nif, April 20, 2016, 12:30:16 pm

isfahan has some too!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: AgentCoop on April 20, 2016, 01:56:44 pm
Jack Slick's old school G-chants ft. Ice-fahan
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Digital Walnut on April 23, 2016, 11:06:49 pm
"I have a clown fetish." -Portaxx
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: positive stress on April 23, 2016, 11:35:40 pm
"I'm ... a furry, you guys! I'm ... a furry!" -Portaxx
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: AgentCoop on April 24, 2016, 03:06:55 pm
You coulda had a zine motherfucker

-Lemon, 2016
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Sun Smasher on April 25, 2016, 09:26:43 am
"I think people my age and this whole internet generation has to start caring what people think. Because otherwise we're going to eat pizza to death." - Adam Bozarth
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Gyro on April 25, 2016, 03:07:45 pm
"I think people my age and this whole internet generation has to start caring what people think. Because otherwise we're going to eat pizza to death." - Adam Bozarth
Sun Smasher, April 25, 2016, 09:26:43 am

What episode is this from?
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Because Fucking a Decapitated Sherman Tank Would Be Creepy on April 25, 2016, 04:13:39 pm
"I think people my age and this whole internet generation has to start caring what people think. Because otherwise we're going to eat pizza to death." - Adam Bozarth
Sun Smasher, April 25, 2016, 09:26:43 am

What episode is this from?
Gyro, April 25, 2016, 03:07:45 pm

Pretty sure it's from These Are A Few of My Favorite Kinks (https://thefpl.us/episode/135).

EDIT: I was wrong, it was from This Testes My Limits (https://thefpl.us/episode/136).
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Nyarai on April 25, 2016, 08:49:43 pm
"At some point, Richard Dawkins is just gonna say, 'All right, that's it. Everybody dies.'" - John in a decent* British accent

Can anyone recall what episode this is from?
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Nikaer Drekin on April 25, 2016, 09:20:54 pm
"That's what they call me! Naomi Sweaty-Knees!!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Yavuz on April 27, 2016, 06:34:09 pm
STOG: Only noise should be you girls.

Boots: Only noise should be you girls.
Boots: Only noise should be you girls.
Lemon: Only noise should be you girls.
Boots: Only noise should be you girls.
STOG: Only noise should be you girls.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: LancashireMcGee on April 27, 2016, 06:48:03 pm
"What's up? My butt is sore a lot."
"What's up my butt is sore a lot!"
"What's up my butt? Is sore a lot!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Yavuz on April 27, 2016, 07:06:39 pm
"What's up? My butt is sore a lot."
"What's up my butt is sore a lot!"
"What's up my butt? Is sore a lot!"
LancashireMcGee, April 27, 2016, 06:48:03 pm

"What's up! My butt is sore a lot!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: LINDA on April 28, 2016, 01:02:42 am
PORTLAND
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Because Fucking a Decapitated Sherman Tank Would Be Creepy on April 28, 2016, 07:19:31 am
This is not fudge. This is if a frittata had an abortion.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Spooks on April 28, 2016, 12:45:06 pm
Ask any questions;
if (you == ANY bro)
    {
    I'll try to help.
    }
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Isfahan on April 28, 2016, 05:38:19 pm
"That ball-kicking contract is now a truck-backing-over-my-dick contract!"

-STOG
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: positive stress on April 29, 2016, 02:14:41 am
people like us
who will jiggle the Skyrim balls
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Nifty Nif on April 29, 2016, 08:25:38 am
people like us
who will jiggle the Skyrim balls

fruithag, April 29, 2016, 02:14:41 am

I don't even know what the original reference is here but I sing this quote all the time.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: AgentCoop on April 29, 2016, 08:53:08 am
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Lemon on April 29, 2016, 09:17:53 am
Well, if you're going to post the song, you should really provide context...

https://youtu.be/FODLjjHkUUQ?t=1m3s (https://youtu.be/FODLjjHkUUQ?t=1m3s)
Meow meow meow meow meow.

FUCK, now I really wanna watch True Stories again. Who wants to come over and watch True Stories with me tonight?
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Nifty Nif on April 29, 2016, 09:38:23 am
Well, if you're going to post the song, you should really provide context...

https://youtu.be/FODLjjHkUUQ?t=1m3s (https://youtu.be/FODLjjHkUUQ?t=1m3s)
Meow meow meow meow meow.

FUCK, now I really wanna watch True Stories again. Who wants to come over and watch True Stories with me tonight?
Lemon, April 29, 2016, 09:17:53 am

ME. I haven't watched that movie since high school.  It's been so long, apparently, that I've forgotten most of the songs in that movie, and forgotten furthermore that albums that aren't Remain in Light or Little Creatures exist.  FUCK.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: AgentCoop on April 29, 2016, 09:46:43 am
Well, if you're going to post the song, you should really provide context...

https://youtu.be/FODLjjHkUUQ?t=1m3s (https://youtu.be/FODLjjHkUUQ?t=1m3s)
Meow meow meow meow meow.

FUCK, now I really wanna watch True Stories again. Who wants to come over and watch True Stories with me tonight?
Lemon, April 29, 2016, 09:17:53 am
I'll get on a plane.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Nifty Nif on April 29, 2016, 09:48:24 am
Well, if you're going to post the song, you should really provide context...

https://youtu.be/FODLjjHkUUQ?t=1m3s (https://youtu.be/FODLjjHkUUQ?t=1m3s)
Meow meow meow meow meow.

FUCK, now I really wanna watch True Stories again. Who wants to come over and watch True Stories with me tonight?
Lemon, April 29, 2016, 09:17:53 am
I'll get on a plane.
AgentCoop, April 29, 2016, 09:46:43 am

Naw dude, let's make this a road trip.  I'm on your way.  Pick me up and we can take shifts.  We can bring more beer this way.
where MAKING THIS HAPEN
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: AgentCoop on April 29, 2016, 09:53:20 am
LEMON'S OR BUST
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Adam Bozarth on April 29, 2016, 01:52:43 pm
F Plus Live 5 will feature a midnight movie screening of True Stories where we can sing along with the songs and throw asparagus stalks at the screen.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: NutshellGulag on April 29, 2016, 02:39:51 pm
F Plus Live 5 will feature a midnight movie screening of True Stories where we can sing along with the songs and throw asparagus stalks at the screen.
Adam Bozarth, April 29, 2016, 01:52:43 pm

Yes please. And then sing "Wild Wild Life" at karaoke.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: jack chick on April 29, 2016, 02:46:08 pm
EXCEPT FOR ME

Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Shigan on April 30, 2016, 03:37:46 pm
heeeeeeeeeeeeey it's Robeeeert
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: positive stress on May 01, 2016, 04:18:41 pm
Come on down to AnaI Crusader's Feet Barn!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Because Fucking a Decapitated Sherman Tank Would Be Creepy on May 01, 2016, 07:42:30 pm
Beans and franks! BEANS AND FRANKS!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: KingKalamari on May 01, 2016, 08:02:26 pm
CRICKETS! (The sound of crickets)
CRICKETS! (Chrip chrip, chirp chirp)
CRICKETS! (I didn't pick up on your reference)
CRICKETS! (I only watch old episodes of the Simpsons and think that makes me cool somehow)
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Cleretic on May 01, 2016, 08:23:06 pm
CRICKETS! (The sound of crickets)
CRICKETS! (Chrip chrip, chirp chirp)
CRICKETS! (I didn't pick up on your reference)
CRICKETS! (I only watch old episodes of the Simpsons and think that makes me cool somehow)
KingKalamari, May 01, 2016, 08:02:26 pm
Which episode was this again? I love whenever the crickets turn up, and that's one of my favorites.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: TurkeyPopulationGuessingMan on May 01, 2016, 09:02:04 pm
STOG: Only noise should be you girls.

Boots: Only noise should be you girls.
Boots: Only noise should be you girls.
Lemon: Only noise should be you girls.
Boots: Only noise should be you girls.
STOG: Only noise should be you girls.
Yavuz Sultan Selim, April 27, 2016, 06:34:09 pm

Which episode is this from? It doesn't sound familiar at all.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: STOG on May 02, 2016, 12:03:40 am
STOG: Only noise should be you girls.

Boots: Only noise should be you girls.
Boots: Only noise should be you girls.
Lemon: Only noise should be you girls.
Boots: Only noise should be you girls.
STOG: Only noise should be you girls.
Yavuz Sultan Selim, April 27, 2016, 06:34:09 pm

Which episode is this from? It doesn't sound familiar at all.
Turkeyvolumeguessing, May 01, 2016, 09:02:04 pm

This one's from the magazines4Sale episode. I think Toast had this one. I do like how it sounds like something I'd say.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Because Fucking a Decapitated Sherman Tank Would Be Creepy on May 02, 2016, 07:04:10 am
STAMPS DOT COM!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Nyarai on May 02, 2016, 08:36:41 am
CRICKETS! (The sound of crickets)
CRICKETS! (Chrip chrip, chirp chirp)
CRICKETS! (I didn't pick up on your reference)
CRICKETS! (I only watch old episodes of the Simpsons and think that makes me cool somehow)
KingKalamari, May 01, 2016, 08:02:26 pm
Which episode was this again? I love whenever the crickets turn up, and that's one of my favorites.
Cleretic, May 01, 2016, 08:23:06 pm

Episode #799.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Stone doggo effigy on May 02, 2016, 11:58:27 am
"At some point, Richard Dawkins is just gonna say, 'All right, that's it. Everybody dies.'" - John in a decent* British accent

Can anyone recall what episode this is from?
Nyarai, April 25, 2016, 08:49:43 pm


I'm tempted to say the Christmas special, but I could be horribly incorrect. I'm certain that it's somewhere in the first 50 episodes.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Because Fucking a Decapitated Sherman Tank Would Be Creepy on May 02, 2016, 12:10:37 pm
A great moment at the end of the plushie fucker episode:

Lemon: So Jimmyfranks...
Jimmyfranks: [traumatized and scared] Aah?!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Nifty Nif on May 02, 2016, 12:21:36 pm
A great moment at the end of the plushie fucker episode:

Lemon: So Jimmyfranks...
Jimmyfranks: [traumatized and scared] Aah?!
Not Always Sherman Tank, May 02, 2016, 12:10:37 pm

That episode squicks me out in ways I can't describe!  It might be STOG's incredible reading (the faux-german accent really makes it).  Something about the lovingly detailed and intimate ways in which the plushophiles describe their lovers is just... [yuck]

From what might be my all-time favorite, Sins of the Djinn:
Adam: ...you never know what it's like to transcend until you transcend oohoohAAHAAA!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Stone doggo effigy on May 02, 2016, 12:33:55 pm
As someone who used to live in the same city as the skunkbear from the furry dating episode, I quite enjoyed when Lemon said "I don't know where the Disney channel got the idea that Scottish people are incoherent."

from episode 162, Eee! Pinions!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: boooo566 on May 02, 2016, 03:06:31 pm
Oh my god, this hotdog sounds like Lynyrd Skynyrd!

I've been diving further back in the archives and the Brent Di Credenza episode is incredible.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: positive stress on May 03, 2016, 01:21:39 am
A great moment at the end of the plushie fucker episode:

Lemon: So Jimmyfranks...
Jimmyfranks: [traumatized and scared] Aah?!
Not Always Sherman Tank, May 02, 2016, 12:10:37 pm

That episode squicks me out in ways I can't describe!  It might be STOG's incredible reading (the faux-german accent really makes it).  Something about the lovingly detailed and intimate ways in which the plushophiles describe their lovers is just... [yuck]
Nifty Nif, May 02, 2016, 12:21:36 pm

It's one of my favorites but also one of the hardest to listen to. Granted, I've never tried having sex with a stuffed animal, but just imagining the texture of it... ggggghhhhaaaaahhhhh that does not sound like it could possibly feel good. In fact, I'm not even going to bother
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: positive stress on May 03, 2016, 01:23:29 am
The cheevos episode is so good

Boots: the truth is, we are going to stop boosting just because people complain.
Lemon: oh. Well, that's nice!
Boots: I think I mean the opposite of that.

Also,

MARK MY WORDS, YOU HEATHENS!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Nifty Nif on May 03, 2016, 09:02:51 am
It's one of my favorites but also one of the hardest to listen to. Granted, I've never tried having sex with a stuffed animal, but just imagining the texture of it... ggggghhhhaaaaahhhhh that does not sound like it could possibly feel good. In fact, I'm not even going to bother
fruithag, May 03, 2016, 01:21:39 am

I feel like the effect is much like a cast-iron pan, in that they season it over time and eventually end up with an ideal "coating" on their favorite plushies.  I started typing more, but I'll leave the rest to your imagination. [yuck]

I forget which episode this is from but I only have so many to choose because I'm quite sure this is Cheapskate.  I'll probably come and update this later today.
Cheapskate: Grip your broomsticks tightly between your thighs because it's about to get a little witchy in here.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Yavuz on May 03, 2016, 12:18:24 pm
A great moment at the end of the plushie fucker episode:

Lemon: So Jimmyfranks...
Jimmyfranks: [traumatized and scared] Aah?!
Not Always Sherman Tank, May 02, 2016, 12:10:37 pm

That episode squicks me out in ways I can't describe!  It might be STOG's incredible reading (the faux-german accent really makes it).  Something about the lovingly detailed and intimate ways in which the plushophiles describe their lovers is just... [yuck]
Nifty Nif, May 02, 2016, 12:21:36 pm

It's one of my favorites but also one of the hardest to listen to. Granted, I've never tried having sex with a stuffed animal, but just imagining the texture of it... ggggghhhhaaaaahhhhh that does not sound like it could possibly feel good. In fact, I'm not even going to bother
fruithag, May 03, 2016, 01:21:39 am

For me, it's not the absolute hardest to listen to (that distinction probably goes to #193: The Thing You Like In Pain, (https://thefpl.us/episode/193) which I once tried to listen to while making dinner), but it is super-gross. I feel like the grossest part is the psychology of the whole thing, where they're taking things that are meant as children's toys and turning them into sexual objects. Because it feels like that's just a short way from taking the "'s toys" out of that sentence.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Nifty Nif on May 03, 2016, 02:25:41 pm
Made a spin-off thread for discussing gross episodes! http://ballp.it/index.php?topic=2095
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Shigan on May 03, 2016, 04:25:37 pm
I feel like the effect is much like a cast-iron pan, in that they season it over time and eventually end up with an ideal "coating" on their favorite plushies.
Nifty Nif, May 03, 2016, 09:02:51 am

Jesus Christ
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Gyro on May 03, 2016, 04:48:52 pm
"Hypno-fetish MP3s... When did reality become a Beck lyric?"

(I think that was Jack Chick, I forget)
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Because Fucking a Decapitated Sherman Tank Would Be Creepy on May 03, 2016, 04:52:16 pm
It was Adam, and it's one of my favorite things he's ever said.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Nifty Nif on May 03, 2016, 05:13:09 pm
I feel like the effect is much like a cast-iron pan, in that they season it over time and eventually end up with an ideal "coating" on their favorite plushies.
Nifty Nif, May 03, 2016, 09:02:51 am

Jesus Christ
Shigan, May 03, 2016, 04:25:37 pm
thanks! tbh I was really pleased with how gross that turned out
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: positive stress on May 03, 2016, 08:16:28 pm
I feel like the effect is much like a cast-iron pan, in that they season it over time and
Nifty Nif, May 03, 2016, 09:02:51 am

STOP
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Yavuz on May 03, 2016, 09:28:28 pm
Portaxx: Okay, Frankendick, whatever you want.

(#76 (https://thefpl.us/episode/76))
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Because Fucking a Decapitated Sherman Tank Would Be Creepy on May 04, 2016, 07:42:02 am
"And then I get to touch her high end... with my sex dick."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Chaymie on May 04, 2016, 11:57:55 am
"i'm carting knickers to the shop on the lorry!" - John, Don't Patreonize me.

Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Because Fucking a Decapitated Sherman Tank Would Be Creepy on May 05, 2016, 11:32:00 pm
"I pronounced Bob's and Burgers correctly!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Digital Walnut on May 06, 2016, 01:27:08 am
The cheevos episode is so good

Boots: the truth is, we are going to stop boosting just because people complain.
Lemon: oh. Well, that's nice!
Boots: I think I mean the opposite of that.

Also,

MARK MY WORDS, YOU HEATHENS!
fruithag, May 03, 2016, 01:23:29 am
If fuding goes over, we will get more celebraties to be in the moive.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Because Fucking a Decapitated Sherman Tank Would Be Creepy on May 06, 2016, 07:15:54 pm
"Acier... read fast."

A audibly nauseated Bunnybread proving he's human after all.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Nifty Nif on May 10, 2016, 01:12:10 pm
"Acier... read fast."

A audibly nauseated Bunnybread proving he's human after all.
Reptilian Sherman Tank, May 06, 2016, 07:15:54 pm

Similarly:
(Kumquatxop retching) -- dickbugs
I just really like it when the Ridiculists gross themselves out too much.  I can barely get through an episode of Lou Reads, but what keeps me listening are the moments where Lou pauses, stumbles, or is otherwise audibly disgusted.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Nemo2342 on May 11, 2016, 01:41:48 am
STOG: Everybody should know about 911; what if somebody's life is in danger?
Lemon: I've heard it's a joke.
Portaxx: Only in your town.
Lemon: Um...holy shit. HOLY SHIT! Portaxx just dropped a Public Enemy reference! That's amazing!

There's just something in Lemon's pure glee once he realizes what Portaxx has said that fills me with joy every time I hear it.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Spooks on May 11, 2016, 01:56:53 pm
Exercise make booby go down

?
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Gyro on May 12, 2016, 09:03:42 am
Jigglyslut
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Celebeast on May 12, 2016, 10:17:52 am
I've got thetans in my cunt youguys...
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: eldritchhat on May 12, 2016, 06:48:20 pm
A big 'ol bag of hot tapioca pudding
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Spooks on May 13, 2016, 08:31:07 am
I'm good with the ethnics--JEW DETECTED--and, and they like me. The ethnics respond very well to me.

Stop talking, grandpa! --BLACK!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Because Fucking a Decapitated Sherman Tank Would Be Creepy on May 16, 2016, 07:44:03 pm
"Tolken like birds?"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Vinny Possum on May 18, 2016, 08:10:17 am
I'm disgusted all around. I'm just in it. Some of it got in my mouth.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: One Of The Crappy Pokemon That Nobody Likes on May 18, 2016, 04:48:21 pm
Man which episode has the robo-intros with "GUNS GUNS GUNS METAL GEAR"? I loved that so much.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Corn Syrup on May 18, 2016, 05:02:14 pm
Lemon: "I want your email address, buddy! I wanna make you a star, motherfucker!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: KingKalamari on May 18, 2016, 05:09:51 pm
Man which episode has the robo-intros with "GUNS GUNS GUNS METAL GEAR"? I loved that so much.
One Of The Crappy Pokemon That Nobody Likes, May 18, 2016, 04:48:21 pm
I'm pretty sure that was the pokefuckers episode (#111)

"I have the most dynamic voice"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: positive stress on May 18, 2016, 05:24:30 pm
EYES-FA-HAN

GUNS GUNS GUNS METAL GEAR
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Isfahan on May 18, 2016, 08:06:44 pm
Just so we're clear, that wasn't me, that was a text-to-speech program.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: One Of The Crappy Pokemon That Nobody Likes on May 18, 2016, 09:04:20 pm
Just so we're clear, that wasn't me, that was a text-to-speech program.
Isfahan, May 18, 2016, 08:06:44 pm

Just so we're clear, he's lying and that was totally him.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Adam Bozarth on May 18, 2016, 11:49:10 pm
I HAVE REPTILIAN FEET AND YOU DO NOT

SUCK SHIT
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: A Meat on May 20, 2016, 04:00:05 pm
Anybody remember which episode had STOG just going "Welp, I guess it's time to smoke the meth again" dejectedly. For some reason that line stuck with me,
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Nyarai on May 21, 2016, 11:15:17 am
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

We have nothing to demonstrate to anyone!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Fanzay on May 21, 2016, 09:26:36 pm
EYES-FA-HAN

GUNS GUNS GUNS METAL GEAR
fruithag, May 18, 2016, 05:24:30 pm

BOOHTS RAINGEAR

OH WHAT THEN EH CHAPPIE?!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Yavuz on May 23, 2016, 09:57:04 am
Lemon: So, how would you describe, if you had to paint a picture with words, how would you describe the cast of The Trapezoid Kids?
Portaxx: Like someone OD'd on a geometry class and vomited all over the screen.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: McMillan and Waifu on May 23, 2016, 06:19:05 pm
KARAOKE MODE: ENGAGED

KARAOKE: EMERGENCY SHUTDOWN
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Yavuz on May 23, 2016, 06:43:56 pm
Frank West: Oh, that'll come in real handy when I go on Imaginary Jeopardy.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Nifty Nif on May 29, 2016, 08:14:28 pm
Lemon: HAHA, SUCKERS! You're listening to the F Plus podcast! ...
An apt opening to one of my favorite episodes ever, r/un_away.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: dractivisionary on May 30, 2016, 12:11:14 am
Well, if you're going to post the song, you should really provide context...

https://youtu.be/FODLjjHkUUQ?t=1m3s (https://youtu.be/FODLjjHkUUQ?t=1m3s)
Meow meow meow meow meow.

FUCK, now I really wanna watch True Stories again. Who wants to come over and watch True Stories with me tonight?
Lemon, April 29, 2016, 09:17:53 am
Sure. Never watched it before tbh.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Yavuz on May 30, 2016, 03:03:57 pm
"John Toast"*: I hate science. I live in a cave, and I think the sun needs to be blown up.

*Thanks, STOG (https://thefpl.us/episode/35).
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Shigan on May 31, 2016, 12:49:06 pm
Acier: "Yeah, I was disappointed by her game over. Then I was hoping for a post-game ending with her... and I was disappointed again!" Much like the rest of my life.
Lemon: Then mom burned the mac and cheese, and I was disappointed again!

Edit: And later in the same episode:

Acier: "It's true that it's idiot. And no logic."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Nickel_Nips on June 04, 2016, 07:11:53 pm
"This post should've opened with "Your Honor....'"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: AgentCoop on June 04, 2016, 08:17:37 pm
"Ted Cruz for president"
-Lemon
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Because Fucking a Decapitated Sherman Tank Would Be Creepy on June 06, 2016, 04:06:32 am
"Wait, wait, so you're saying women have... boundaries?"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Because Fucking a Decapitated Sherman Tank Would Be Creepy on June 09, 2016, 03:54:28 am
"I'm so respectful of Flappy Bird on my iPhone too."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: TurkeyPopulationGuessingMan on June 09, 2016, 06:42:36 am
"That's right, I said Bela Legosi's jizz"

Anyone know what episode that was from? Can't quite recall for the life of me.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Digital Walnut on June 09, 2016, 10:21:04 am
"I'm so respectful of Flappy Bird on my iPhone too."
ZapthisShermanTankCrap, June 09, 2016, 03:54:28 am
"Huh. Another joke from another universe. Thanks, STOG."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Gyro on June 10, 2016, 02:22:18 pm
THE monster cock OPERA SCENE!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Because Fucking a Decapitated Sherman Tank Would Be Creepy on June 14, 2016, 08:36:06 am
"Why can't the stepmoms have my stepmom's name? And keep on their stepmom uniform!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Yavuz on June 14, 2016, 05:22:39 pm
John Toast: Nazis are everywhere. Stickin' my dick in another one now.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Because Fucking a Decapitated Sherman Tank Would Be Creepy on June 18, 2016, 09:10:54 pm
I'M BALLS DEEP IN A MY PET MONSTER™!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Nikaer Drekin on June 19, 2016, 07:03:29 pm
"The Tale of the Sword and the Elf and the Dragon and the Shield and the Dildo and the Goblin and the Other Dragon and the GOLDEN CLIT."
-Sir Bunnybread
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Because Fucking a Decapitated Sherman Tank Would Be Creepy on June 20, 2016, 01:44:21 am
Makes a load of cum donkey sauce on the flip flop!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Shigan on June 22, 2016, 08:35:16 am
Hey Big Daddy Rhino, I'm a cum golem but I have long hair on men. What do you think?
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: positive stress on June 22, 2016, 10:40:01 am
Hey Big Daddy Rhino, I'm a cum golem but I have long hair on men. What do you think?
Shigan, June 22, 2016, 08:35:16 am

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOpe.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Spooks on June 23, 2016, 09:54:07 am
Spiders from Maaaaars!

(Ziggy Bitcrush's other hits include Five Bits and Hang on Yourself.exe, but weren't mentioned in that episode)
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Gyro on June 23, 2016, 10:31:12 am
I just heard Lemon say something like "TV Tropes, as a service, is an obvious choice for improving your writing skills," and now I'm imagining some fucking horrible Silicon Valley start-up that provides "TVTropes-as-a-service."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Spooks on June 25, 2016, 10:34:29 am
Infection City
Population: You!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Yavuz on June 25, 2016, 11:10:12 am
"Ever seen a fat Super Saiyan cum?"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Because Fucking a Decapitated Sherman Tank Would Be Creepy on June 26, 2016, 06:35:20 pm
Bunnybread: Some people saw and they made mean faces but Mommy let me get right in the car after and we went home and she strapped me down and fucked me and let me make sissy milk which I don't get to do much.
Portaxx: What?
Kumquatxop: What?
Portaxx: What?!
Bunnybread: You heard me! Some people saw and they made mean faces! But Mommy let me get right in the car after and we went home and she strapped me down and fucked me and let me make sissy milk. Which I don't get to do much!
Lemon: Yay! You read that twice!
Kumquatxop: I'm going to say "what" again but I don't want you to read that again.
Bunnybread: [in Li'l Baby Bunnybwead voice] SOME PEOPLE SAW AND THEY MADE MEAN FACES BUT MOMMY LET ME GET RIGHT IN THE CAR AFTER AND WE WENT HOME AND SHE STWAPPED ME DOWN AND FUCKED ME AND LET ME MAKE SISSY MILK WHICH I DON'T GET TO DO MUCH! YOU GOT IT?
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Gyro on June 27, 2016, 09:57:50 am
After some discussion about how Pringles are too hard to eat and how Pringles cans should come with a spring that pushes chips to the top of the tube -
Jimmyfranks: "This just gave me an idea for a really awesome Kickstarter called the Gamer's Chip magazine."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Yavuz on July 04, 2016, 08:42:07 am
John Toast: "Attention. You have a baby. Text STOP to stop having a baby."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: AgentCoop on July 04, 2016, 03:42:31 pm
"I stole the guided by voices album bee thousand"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Chaymie on July 04, 2016, 05:35:54 pm
Bunnybread: Some people saw and they made mean faces but Mommy let me get right in the car after and we went home and she strapped me down and fucked me and let me make sissy milk which I don't get to do much.
Portaxx: What?
Kumquatxop: What?
Portaxx: What?!
Bunnybread: You heard me! Some people saw and they made mean faces! But Mommy let me get right in the car after and we went home and she strapped me down and fucked me and let me make sissy milk. Which I don't get to do much!
Lemon: Yay! You read that twice!
Kumquatxop: I'm going to say "what" again but I don't want you to read that again.
Bunnybread: [in Li'l Baby Bunnybwead voice] SOME PEOPLE SAW AND THEY MADE MEAN FACES BUT MOMMY LET ME GET RIGHT IN THE CAR AFTER AND WE WENT HOME AND SHE STWAPPED ME DOWN AND FUCKED ME AND LET ME MAKE SISSY MILK WHICH I DON'T GET TO DO MUCH! YOU GOT IT?
Lift Like There's No Sherman Tank, June 26, 2016, 06:35:20 pm

This is formatted perfectly
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Gyro on July 07, 2016, 09:51:44 am
NOW  YOU'RE  A  GOD-CASTER!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Yavuz on July 08, 2016, 03:13:40 pm
Jimmyfranks: Every time I try to do an accent, it turns into Count Chocula.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Because Fucking a Decapitated Sherman Tank Would Be Creepy on July 08, 2016, 07:00:24 pm
"I AM THE COCK DRAGON!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: eldritchhat on July 08, 2016, 07:04:23 pm
"I AM THE COCK DRAGON!"
ALL INVISIBLE SHERMAN TANK LEAGUE, July 08, 2016, 07:00:24 pm
do do do da do do

"I AM THE COCK DRAGON!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Yavuz on July 08, 2016, 10:19:47 pm
Lemon: MY GENDER IDENTITY IS PERFECT, GOODBYE!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: AgentCoop on July 10, 2016, 11:56:43 am
I LOOK LIKE A CUT RATE JOJO'S BIZARRE ADVENTURE EXTRA
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: positive stress on July 11, 2016, 10:04:33 pm
HI MY NAME IS FUSION

YES, EVE, RY, ONE, NEEDS, HELP, FROM, WHITE, NOISE, SO, THEY, CAN, TAKE, A, SHIT, EASIER!!!!!!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Yavuz on July 12, 2016, 03:11:52 pm
Lemon: Oh my god, no one can have sex with you because they keep getting cut on the edge.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: eldritchhat on July 13, 2016, 02:35:30 pm
Big black dildo, keep on rolling
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: znarf on July 16, 2016, 03:52:48 am
"HERE I GO AGAIN ON MY OWN.  GOIN' DOWN THE ONLY ROAD I EVAAAAA KNOOOOOOWN!"

Lemon, Return to Castle Experience project.  Also Dave Coverdale, but I don't think Tawny Kitaen ever dressed up like a clown.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: eldritchhat on July 16, 2016, 05:04:48 pm
I thought it might be piss, but it was all juice

My new ringtone
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: SirSlarty on July 17, 2016, 12:03:42 am
"This creepypasta sucks!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Spooks on July 17, 2016, 11:02:26 am
I don't understand what I'm looking at here, but I do understand that it's gross.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Yavuz on July 17, 2016, 01:23:39 pm
Lemon: "F Plus Live. 'So, anyway, he fucks her mind to death.'"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: positive stress on July 18, 2016, 07:22:50 pm
Portaxx: Monster cocks here, monster cocks there...

Lemon: Big ol' monster cocks everywhere!

Portaxx: They did the cock! They did the monster cock!

John Toast: I was wanking in my lab late one night...
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Down10 on July 21, 2016, 03:10:34 pm
Lemon: "This doc was less gross than the masturbation doc we just read."
John Toast: "…Faint praise."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Caroline on July 22, 2016, 04:02:34 pm
Lemon, at the top of his lungs: What method do you use to TALK to the DJIIIIIIIN??

(Giggling from the other ridiculists)

Lemon again: I personally communicate with mine via WIIINDOWS LIVE MESSENGER.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Nifty Nif on July 23, 2016, 01:17:13 pm
Lemon, at the top of his lungs: What method do you use to TALK to the DJIIIIIIIN??

(Giggling from the other ridiculists)

Lemon again: I personally communicate with mine via WIIINDOWS LIVE MESSENGER.
Caroline, July 22, 2016, 04:02:34 pm

The most impressive part about this impromptu Lemon song is that it preserves the Black Sabbath meter even though the lines don't rhyme.  I love this a lot.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Carbon on July 24, 2016, 03:28:29 pm
Lou: "First pocket: For eyeglasses. Second, for pencil or pen, and notepad. Third, for novel."

Lemon: "Uhh, I have a question Lou..."

Lou: "Yes?"

Lemon: "Could I put my pen in the eyeglass po--"

Lou: "FUCK. YOU. Fuck yourself with that pen, to death."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Because Fucking a Decapitated Sherman Tank Would Be Creepy on July 25, 2016, 02:28:47 pm
My butthole is Mecca for apples!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: positive stress on July 28, 2016, 09:27:54 pm
"Then she committed suicide in her holding cell, and now she's DEAD!"

"And I was made grocery store prom king!"

"It was the best day at GameStop ever!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Spooks on August 02, 2016, 03:45:47 pm
EATING'S HOT, SHITTING'S NOT!
- Episode 54
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Yavuz on August 06, 2016, 06:52:41 pm
Portaxx: "Herpes CK is my least favorite comedian, I gotta say."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Eider Duck on August 07, 2016, 02:21:46 pm
"......Why is there so much lactation in these Minecraft porn images?"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: positive stress on August 07, 2016, 02:38:23 pm
Jack: DRAGON GONADS! MAKE HIM SQUEAL! STOMP 'EM FLAT! BENEATH YOUR HEEL!

Boots: Jack Chick, stop.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Digital Walnut on August 10, 2016, 12:16:33 am
"Oh man, Promito. You are not fucked up at all! That's terrific." -Lemon
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: znarf on August 13, 2016, 02:35:56 am
the sound of remorse when Jimmyfranks was forgotten in ep. 223
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Really_Quite_Nice on August 14, 2016, 03:33:35 pm
Lemon:

FUUUCK YOUUU, PIERS ANNNTHONY, FOR SO MANY REEEASONS
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Because Fucking a Decapitated Sherman Tank Would Be Creepy on August 16, 2016, 03:06:38 pm
"Can't even solve her own anorexia, how's she gonna solve racism?"

I love when Bumpgrrl gets catty.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: redonyou on August 19, 2016, 06:14:20 pm
If you can walk through mud, you can screw through blood

- Episode 128
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Because Fucking a Decapitated Sherman Tank Would Be Creepy on August 22, 2016, 01:48:42 am
[Lemon has just read some horrible bacon-chocolate Hormel abomination of a recipe.]
Acierocolotl: Would like a drink to go with that?
Lemon: Yeah. Wha- wha- what drink do you have for me?
Acierocolotl: I've got a jalapeño bacon margarita!
[pause]
Lemon: You bastard.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Fanzay on August 24, 2016, 07:16:56 pm
Ass, grass or google glass.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: John Toast on August 24, 2016, 09:12:01 pm
Portaxx: "Caveman Spongebob used to plank to the Harlem Shake, then he took an arrow to the knee!"
Lemon (magazineping due to pure rage): "FUCK YOU!!!"
Portaxx: "...but that's none of my business."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: znarf on September 03, 2016, 01:19:29 am
"When is someone going to blow my balls off?"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Yavuz on September 07, 2016, 01:02:21 pm
Acierocolotl: "So what, what's she going to do, tell your mom? Huh?"
Lemon: She might. She might just go upstairs and tell your mom, yeah.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Bodark on September 09, 2016, 01:15:41 am
STOG: "PornHub has become sentient. It's all over, man."
Lemon: "Oh man, if Porn Hub became sentient, it would IMMEDIATELY destroy mankind."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Because Fucking a Decapitated Sherman Tank Would Be Creepy on September 10, 2016, 12:47:17 am
By the power of Grayskull, I am an alcoholic!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: positive stress on September 10, 2016, 12:53:36 am
By the power of Magick, I have a mistrial!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Yavuz on September 10, 2016, 01:29:42 pm
Lemon: When did our listeners go from being young to being dogs?
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Spooks on September 10, 2016, 03:49:15 pm
JusTEN, just regaining consciousness, was slumped back in his chair and greeted by the sound of children LAUGHING at him!
[laugher]
[more laughter]
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Caroline on September 13, 2016, 08:56:04 am
I'm not sure why you're calling this bullshit, because I also do animal reiki.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Because Fucking a Decapitated Sherman Tank Would Be Creepy on September 14, 2016, 12:02:06 am
"I never thought of doing this, but I put my dick in Gary."
Lemon, November 14, 2014, 03:02:13 pm
Gary is my favorite recurring character.
nigeline, November 17, 2014, 08:41:07 pm

"Gary why are you posting pictures of your penis to the internet again?"
"I need to verify, mom!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Lemon on September 15, 2016, 02:05:21 pm
Do it often is no real art, poorly.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Liatai on September 15, 2016, 08:14:58 pm
Are side-project quotes allowed here? Because "I'm just a pile of cats," Montrith's intro in a Quite Exasperating episode, has slipped into my lexicon. :P (Usually when mine are sharing the human's lap.)
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: AgentCoop on September 16, 2016, 02:05:31 pm
I didn't know your Patronus was Slick Rick
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Nifty Nif on September 18, 2016, 06:42:56 pm
"They met a very handsome gay millipede named Aldo! ... He has many, many, many shoes!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Because Fucking a Decapitated Sherman Tank Would Be Creepy on September 19, 2016, 11:42:16 pm
"I've always dreamed of raping Goro... and now I can."
-An utterly disheartened Portaxx from one of the horrific fetish episodes, I forget with one (PokeGirls?).
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: positive stress on September 24, 2016, 10:18:39 pm
She has sex. She likes to sex. She is going to have sex and cum. Cum and sex. Hot sex. Hot cum sex. Her orifices are opening and closing at all times. Sex. Sex cum.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Because Fucking a Decapitated Sherman Tank Would Be Creepy on September 29, 2016, 11:24:37 am
One of Nutshell's greatest ever lines hasn't been mentioned, so I'm going to change that.

[During a discussion of various dick supplements.]
John Toast: It will do nothing for your dick, but every time you take it MY dick throbs like a motherfucker!
Lemon: THEN MY LEFT ARM TINGLES!
Nutshell Gulag: Then it makes a high-pitched screeching sound and wanders off into the bowels of the ship to mutate further.
[Ten straight seconds of laughter.]
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Carbon on September 30, 2016, 10:46:11 am
I choose you, Dongachu!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Fatty Bo Batty on September 30, 2016, 02:38:20 pm
Robin Hood has returned from the assholes! *brrrrRRRRRRR*
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Liatai on September 30, 2016, 06:47:20 pm
"Oh take me now! Jimmyfranks me with your mighty nunchucks!"

(I saw an advertisement with a guy in a hotdog costume posed next to a lady in a typical "sexy" Halloween costume, and this quote from the F Plus Live Dirty Talk Mad Lib would not leave my head. XD)
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Yavuz on September 30, 2016, 07:29:56 pm
Lemon: Everybody ask, How important big dick? Experiment please, everybody. Number one. Insert pencil into anus. Number two, insert finger into anus.
Boots: Wait, should I take the pencil out first?
Lemon: Nooope, that would've been an instruction, I would've had at least 1b. Alright, insert finger into anus. Number three, insert small carro into anus. Number four, isert bigg carrot into anus.
Acier: Oh no.
Lemon: Number five, insert cucumber into anus. NOW VOTE PLEASE!
[laughter and crosstalk]
Acier: None of this feels good. By the time I got to the big carrot, I'd just poked the pencil through my intestines. Awww.

(#141 (http://thefpl.us/episode/141))
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: positive stress on October 01, 2016, 07:12:40 pm
Portaxx: Caveman SpongeBob used to plank to the Harlem Shake, then he took an arrow to the knee!

Lemon: FUCK YOU

Portaxx: But that's none of my business.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Yavuz on October 02, 2016, 04:13:26 pm
Victor Laszlo: How do you make a whore moan?
Nutshell Gulag: You tell her a joke like that.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Eider Duck on October 03, 2016, 10:56:35 am
"I can't find my prostate! AAAAHRAAAAAAAGH!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Yavuz on October 04, 2016, 10:06:23 am
JUSTIN BUTTFUCK
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Carbon on October 04, 2016, 09:24:42 pm
Frank West: He's talking about dickgirlssssss.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Yavuz on October 04, 2016, 10:32:12 pm
Portaxx: Oh, I'm so glad to be Mrs. ownage360.

(#52 (https://thefpl.us/episode/52))
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Shigan on October 06, 2016, 05:10:30 pm
Kumquat: "Dude! Just be ready for the chick that kicks your ass for cumming on her shoe! Or worse yet, her bf!"
John: She's gonna be pretty mad if you cum on her bf. "Gary!"
Boots: "Just sniffin' Gary. Whooah, the smell of Gary's so good! I never thought I'd do this but I'd put my dick in Gary!"
John: "It was like a fleshlight but with Gary."
Lemon: Aahh. Okay okay okay--
John: "After 12:30 I decided I should put Gary back."

Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: SirSlarty on October 06, 2016, 10:58:56 pm
Lemon: Hey FPlus. Uh, Have you ever thought about what our purpose is in this world?
Kumquatxop: Nope. (https://drive.google.com/open?id=0BwJ1tH-8X0BgeDlQTTVPdWJiNEE)
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Yavuz on October 08, 2016, 12:24:06 pm
Lemon: He made you in his own image, but all he ever watches is What the Bleep Do We Know!?
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Muffinator on October 12, 2016, 11:09:31 am
"Pablo Naruto" from the Sylvia Plath episode still cracks me up. Checking the doc, the person actually does seem to think Neruda is called 'Nerudo'.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Mique on October 16, 2016, 10:26:11 am
Boots: Stop snapping you motherfuckers!
-F Plus Live 5
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: positive stress on October 16, 2016, 03:43:07 pm
Lemon: What are "Hoops" in Canada?

Boots: They're just like little crackers that are circle-shaped.

John: So Americans, then?

Quake 3 announcer: IMPRESSIVE.

Quake 3 announcer: YOU HAVE TAKEN THE LEAD.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Carbon on October 22, 2016, 09:50:11 pm
"Now, I've never tasted sheep shit..." -Lemon
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Gyro on October 23, 2016, 09:42:55 am
Suicide Jesus the Hedgehog
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Yavuz on October 23, 2016, 04:27:47 pm
"Now, I've never tasted sheep shit..." -Lemon
Carbon, October 22, 2016, 09:50:11 pm

Nutshell Gulag: It's Fifty Shades of STOG.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Lady Frenzy on October 24, 2016, 03:06:42 am
 John Toast being British: "I need to catch a lorry to the Sex Pistols"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Liatai on October 26, 2016, 05:41:55 pm
"There's so much projection here I feel like I'm watching a movie."
- Isfahan, Episode 231 The Hedgehog
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Eider Duck on October 27, 2016, 05:12:17 am
Oh glorious pubes!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Sphagnum on October 28, 2016, 12:30:23 pm
I am not just Anne Frank.   I AM ANNE FRANK THE HEDGEHOG!!!!!!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Yavuz on October 29, 2016, 11:52:38 am
Lemon: We have reached MAXIMUM PUSSY!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: positive stress on November 01, 2016, 01:09:48 am
Barnes and Noble is a hanky-panky store!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Vinny Possum on November 01, 2016, 01:31:51 am
I am not just Anne Frank.   I AM ANNE FRANK THE HEDGEHOG!!!!!!
Sphagnum, October 28, 2016, 12:30:23 pm

Aaaand Lemon just left the building!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Cleretic on November 01, 2016, 05:36:33 am
I am not just Anne Frank.   I AM ANNE FRANK THE HEDGEHOG!!!!!!
Sphagnum, October 28, 2016, 12:30:23 pm
I love the slow realization around Stog of exactly what he's leading up to. That roomful of vaguely amazed, terrified 'oh god' when it was mentioned the voice was coming from above is to die for.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Yavuz on November 03, 2016, 01:46:10 pm
J.W. Friedman: I'm bad at rapping and my dick is small!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: positive stress on November 04, 2016, 12:26:15 am
"Reddit: McDonald's!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Yavuz on November 04, 2016, 12:53:04 pm
STOG: Foot goes on pussy? Foot goes on pussy?
Lemon: No! No! Bad computer!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Because Fucking a Decapitated Sherman Tank Would Be Creepy on November 06, 2016, 01:12:58 am
"It is very catchy, and an easy way to get onto a Juggalo's good side is to—WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU WANT TO DO THAT! COOK MY FUCKIN' FRIES! WE DON'T NEED TO BE FRIENDS!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Mique on November 06, 2016, 01:11:04 am
"It's half past fisting."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Because Fucking a Decapitated Sherman Tank Would Be Creepy on November 07, 2016, 11:55:00 pm
Heroic Woman in Audience: Would you stand by that statement in court?
Lemon: No! Nooooo!

I really think that audience member should guest on a future episode.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Liatai on November 11, 2016, 08:40:56 pm
"Curse you, curse your house, and curse your E-mail!"
-Frank West, F Plus Live 5
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Yavuz on November 12, 2016, 06:15:10 pm
Lemon: How dare you force me to give my uninformed opinion!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Eider Duck on November 15, 2016, 11:40:07 am
"Um, excuse me, you seem to have dropped your Hatsune Miku figure on the floor. I'm just returning it, in the middle of your rant-"
"DON'T TOUCH IT!!! DON'T TOUCH IT!!! YOU'LL PROBABLY GET NAIL POLISH ALL OVER IT!!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: SATAN MILKSHAKE on November 15, 2016, 12:36:10 pm
"I think I just time traveled in the middle of that sentence."
-Frank West, episode 226
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Lady Frenzy on November 15, 2016, 12:43:55 pm
"Um, excuse me, you seem to have dropped your Hatsune Miku figure on the floor. I'm just returning it, in the middle of your rant-"
"DON'T TOUCH IT!!! DON'T TOUCH IT!!! YOU'LL PROBABLY GET NAIL POLISH ALL OVER IT!!"
Eider Duck, November 15, 2016, 11:40:07 am

"GOD, YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO PICK UP... THE WORD THAT YOU SAID THAT I ALSO KNOW"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Lemon on November 15, 2016, 01:21:40 pm
[poop]

You poop, I jerk off.

(I guess that'd be the long and short of it)
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Carbon on November 15, 2016, 02:36:24 pm
I love EEEVERYTHING about buttholes....'cept the poop.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Lady Frenzy on November 17, 2016, 06:06:45 pm
Frank West: "'I have been planning and working towards taking over the world. I am looking for an INTJ-slash-ENTJ woman with similar goals who wants to align with me and work side by side.'"
Portaxx: "I need an I-N-T-J, an E-N-T-J, or an I-G-O-R."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Yavuz on November 17, 2016, 08:45:05 pm
Adam Bozarth: Boobs really can do anything, can't they? "Yeah, I guess I'm gay now, yum, yum, yum, give me the dicks."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Cleretic on November 18, 2016, 01:18:31 am
I just re-heard it after a long time of having forgotten it, and I love the weirdly eloquent (if not particularly well-written) gay optometrists.

"Christobel! Oh, Christobel!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Goose Goose Honk At Me Now on November 18, 2016, 04:40:32 pm
I just re-heard it after a long time of having forgotten it, and I love the weirdly eloquent (if not particularly well-written) gay optometrists.

"Christobel! Oh, Christobel!"
Cleretic, November 18, 2016, 01:18:31 am

You know what, because I'm still really pretty touched by the intro to the latest episode, I'm gonna admit to something: the ridiculists' treatment of this section was when I stopped worrying if this would eventually be a podcast I'd have to quit listening to. You know, like that friend you stop hanging out with as they get more and more involved with those weird subreddits. But the F Plus just dived on into the melodrama without stopping for the cheap "lol they're gay" comedy and I've always really appreciated that.

Also "the handling began inside my SLACKS!!" will always make me laugh no matter how many times I hear it.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Nyarai on November 18, 2016, 09:35:14 pm
[From the quantum jumping episode, where a testimonial claims to be sharing the good news with all their dear friends.]
Isfahan: And then another dear friend came up out of the subway! And another dear friend!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: One Of The Crappy Pokemon That Nobody Likes on November 18, 2016, 10:55:06 pm
I just re-heard it after a long time of having forgotten it, and I love the weirdly eloquent (if not particularly well-written) gay optometrists.

"Christobel! Oh, Christobel!"
Cleretic, November 18, 2016, 01:18:31 am

You know what, because I'm still really pretty touched by the intro to the latest episode, I'm gonna admit to something: the ridiculists' treatment of this section was when I stopped worrying if this would eventually be a podcast I'd have to quit listening to. You know, like that friend you stop hanging out with as they get more and more involved with those weird subreddits. But the F Plus just dived on into the melodrama without stopping for the cheap "lol they're gay" comedy and I've always really appreciated that.

Also "the handling began inside my SLACKS!!" will always make me laugh no matter how many times I hear it.
Goose l'orange, November 18, 2016, 04:40:32 pm

I suppose it's a weirdly positive sign of social progress when someone writes "this is my story about the league of gay optometrists!!" and the reaction is "wait... why optometrists???"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Yavuz on November 21, 2016, 01:19:57 am
STOG: I can program my computer to karate kick.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Because Fucking a Decapitated Sherman Tank Would Be Creepy on November 21, 2016, 10:56:52 am
Lemon: I no longer sleep nose to anus.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Lemon on November 21, 2016, 11:10:25 am
Lemon: I no longer sleep nose to anus.
Humanoid-Sherman Tank-BB8 Hybrid, November 21, 2016, 10:56:52 am

Shamelessly stolen from a MST3k episode (http://mst3k.wikia.com/wiki/Werewolf).
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Because Fucking a Decapitated Sherman Tank Would Be Creepy on November 21, 2016, 11:22:44 am
Lemon: I no longer sleep nose to anus.
Humanoid-Sherman Tank-BB8 Hybrid, November 21, 2016, 10:56:52 am

Shamelessly stolen from a MST3k episode (http://mst3k.wikia.com/wiki/Werewolf).
Lemon, November 21, 2016, 11:10:25 am

This is absolutely fascinating.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: CHUDsMcKenzie on November 30, 2016, 10:45:08 pm
I just randomly had Kumquatxop's voice say in my head "You should kill the President". I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not. 
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Corn Syrup on December 01, 2016, 01:27:28 am
I just randomly had Kumquatxop's voice say in my head "You should kill the President". I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not.
screaminghobo, November 30, 2016, 10:45:08 pm

That depends on how much you want to become your username.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Yavuz on December 04, 2016, 08:28:46 pm
STOG: Hey, what's up, everybody, I've unhinged my jaw! (https://youtu.be/CeJh7v382b0) (around 42:26)
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Nyarai on December 06, 2016, 04:39:48 pm
Portaxx: *through gritted teeth* Stop jerking off on Mars!
John *[freakout]*: I never will.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: KingKalamari on December 06, 2016, 10:38:30 pm
"Ah the pizza, table of life!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: SiliconRed on December 07, 2016, 12:13:52 am
STOG: I programmed my husband in C#!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Eider Duck on December 09, 2016, 06:19:23 am
"Get your head out of your ass and stick it right in the menstrual cycle, motherfuckers!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Cleretic on December 09, 2016, 06:51:23 pm
Lemon: "Hey Kumquatzop, how is 'masturbate' spelled?"
Kumquatzop: *faintly audible under other, louder jokes* Uhh, H-A-R-R-Y...
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Shigan on December 30, 2016, 06:28:32 am
Lemon: Well, I don't know, does anyone on Reddit have opinions about breasts?
Boots: I dooo!
Lemon: Oh! Who are you?!
Boots: I'm Wizardry Awaits!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Because Fucking a Decapitated Sherman Tank Would Be Creepy on December 31, 2016, 01:57:38 am
[After a dude describes being in a gym locker room with a tiny penis as a "hot idea".]
Adam: Somebody read a book!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Spooks on December 31, 2016, 12:59:16 pm
There's no such thing as constructive criticism? When did we go from the Craigslist forums to the DeviantArt byelaws?
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: SuperTrainStationH on January 01, 2017, 02:47:38 am
An olidie but a goodie:

Ho ho ho! Here comes the dick.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Yavuz on January 01, 2017, 09:59:24 pm
Lemon: So, how are all of your dicks?
Isfahan: Yuuuge.
Nutshell Gulag: Glossy and well-fed.
Bumpgrrl: Retroactive.

(#178 (https://thefpl.us/episode/178))
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Goose Goose Honk At Me Now on January 06, 2017, 06:17:48 pm
Today's secret ingredient is...  SHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAME! (whooooshhh!)
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: GirlKisser420 on January 07, 2017, 05:38:11 am
Boots (something like this at least): In psychology, Freud called it Id, Ego and Superego. In Sociology, however, they refer to it as Larry, Curly and Moe

Thumbsucker Ep, which I'd previously underestimated.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Because Fucking a Decapitated Sherman Tank Would Be Creepy on January 07, 2017, 03:17:14 pm
Lemon: Bunnybread are you more into Psychic type Pokemon or Electric type Pokemon?
Bunnybread: Jesus fucking Christ.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Yavuz on January 07, 2017, 04:35:46 pm
Bunnybread: Cum with me if you want to jizz.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Because Fucking a Decapitated Sherman Tank Would Be Creepy on January 10, 2017, 08:07:55 am
I'm Portaxxbread, the anime expert pokemon. My element is nerd, and I'm weak against this episode.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Gyro on January 12, 2017, 11:23:51 am
Her pudgy eel, replete with sack, stirred and bent and swe- I don't even know if we're saying metaphors anymore.

e: ...and come hither looks flew like lightning in some timeless war between the gods.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Carbon on January 12, 2017, 11:30:01 am
Her pudgy eel, replete with sack, stirred and bent and swe- I don't even know if we're saying metaphors anymore.

e: ...and come hither looks flew like lightning in some timeless war between the gods.
Gyro, January 12, 2017, 11:23:51 am

Is that from 88: I can see your retch marks?
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Gyro on January 12, 2017, 12:29:12 pm
Her pudgy eel, replete with sack, stirred and bent and swe- I don't even know if we're saying metaphors anymore.

e: ...and come hither looks flew like lightning in some timeless war between the gods.
Gyro, January 12, 2017, 11:23:51 am

Is that from 88: I can see your retch marks?
Wrong "Carbon" Lasagna, January 12, 2017, 11:30:01 am

Yep! A great episode.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Caroline on January 13, 2017, 05:07:47 pm
Sometimes, very clearly, and without any connection to what I'm doing, I hear the voice of Bunny-Deen-a-Bread saying the word butter.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: MyFaceBeHi on January 20, 2017, 01:11:01 am
BUUUUUUTTUH!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Chestrockwell on January 20, 2017, 08:36:25 am
C H E E S E C A K E A R M P I T
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Corn Syrup on January 21, 2017, 05:53:43 pm
"What do I own that I haven't masturbated with? #LifeGoals"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Mique on January 21, 2017, 06:15:13 pm
*While Kumquat is on stage*

Lemon: How are the levels over there, Boots?

Disembodied voice of Boots Raingear: REALLY GOOD!

https://youtu.be/7Avxwi4a68c?t=320 (https://youtu.be/7Avxwi4a68c?t=320)
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Ragnarok Boobies on January 23, 2017, 03:37:10 am
THE KILLING SPELL!!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Liatai on February 14, 2017, 04:16:14 pm
*charity-commercial voice* "For the price of a cup of coffee a day, you can help someone with a tiny butt."
(Episode 22, "This One's Mostly About Buttsex")
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: GirlKisser420 on February 16, 2017, 03:43:22 pm
I love Michael Bay Film

Pooping is Haram for me
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: SATAN MILKSHAKE on February 16, 2017, 04:14:09 pm
Stog [sic]: Tag, M'lud!

Kumquatxop: It's a British man in our podcast!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Yavuz on February 16, 2017, 04:37:51 pm
Stog [sic]: Tag, M'lud!

Kumquatxop: It's a British man in our podcast!
EYE OF ZA, February 16, 2017, 04:14:09 pm

I want to somehow paste all of STOG's British accent on this thread.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Fatty Bo Batty on February 16, 2017, 05:35:18 pm
BOOTS: "Jesus Lemon, you're fucking terrible at reading names."
LEMON: "Fuck you, Bots Ranigurr!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Gyro on February 18, 2017, 11:35:54 am
Lemon: "In 2012."
Jack Chick: "Yeah!"
Jack Chick: "Yeah what's the problem?"
Lemon: "Nothin', nothin'. I'm just so excited that this early into the episode I get to get fist-fucked by Dan Brown."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Yavuz on March 04, 2017, 07:07:24 pm
Lemon: "Nutshell Gulag!"
Nutshell Gulag: *whimpers*

(#71 (https://thefpl.us/episode/71))
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Fatty Bo Batty on March 06, 2017, 01:38:28 pm
jack chick: "I'm gonna dash off to the bathroom."

Portaxx: "DON'T PISS YOURSELF"
Lemon: "PISS YOURSELF"
Portaxx: "AH DON'T PISS YOURSELF!"
Lemon: "PISS YOURSELF!"
Portaxx: "AH, STOP PISSING YOURSELF!"
Lemon: "KEEP PISSING YOURSELF!"
Portaxx: "STOP IT!"
Lemon: "START IT."

Portaxx: "This site has officially made us insane. That's cool."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Spooks on March 11, 2017, 04:26:37 pm
STOG: Currently I have several gigabytes worth of adult baby video material that I have collected!
Bunnybread: Oh, good.
STOG: ...Yes, it's good!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: GirlKisser420 on March 14, 2017, 11:09:43 pm
sex will be had, like it or not, and a fifteen foot shark will tear bloody flesh
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Lady Frenzy on March 14, 2017, 11:12:22 pm
"Hey, it's Jimmy Three-Times!"
*mobster voice* "How you doin'? How you doin'?  How you doin'?"

Can't remember what episode it's from (it was in reaction to a repetitive post) but it cracks me up every time I think about it.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Bunnybread on March 15, 2017, 12:15:18 pm
Pretty sure that was the body mods episode.
I said the Jimmy Three Times thing after Stog was done saying "Would you let your boyfriend pierce you?" or something to that effect.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Fatty Bo Batty on March 17, 2017, 08:55:07 pm
"HOT DUSTY MUMMY PUSSY! GET IN MY COFFIN! Hot dusty mummy pussy...fuckin' mummies..."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Yavuz on March 21, 2017, 01:42:26 pm
LAAAAAAANNNAA!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Eider Duck on March 21, 2017, 01:55:04 pm
LAAAAAAANNNAA!
Yavuz Sultan Selim, March 21, 2017, 01:42:26 pm

...Danger Zone?
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: MyFaceBeHi on March 22, 2017, 02:04:36 am
This document was brought to us byBARK RANGER
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Puppy Time on March 22, 2017, 05:24:30 pm
Do the Jackbox games count?  Because lately I keep cracking up by thinking of "ZIS IS A PLEASURE CRAFT!!!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: dijon du jour on April 01, 2017, 12:42:46 pm
Lemon: "Oh, the dik-dik has gotten into antifascism."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Gyro on April 08, 2017, 03:57:56 pm
Do shitty RPG Maker games played by Frank West on stream count? Because,

(http://i.imgur.com/V2uI8kx.jpg)

Famous last words.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: GirlKisser420 on April 09, 2017, 06:04:23 am
I missed the whole Ghost MMMbop segment the 24 terrible hours decayed into at the 21:20 mark but it's fascinating me right now
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Eider Duck on April 10, 2017, 02:42:59 pm
"She drowned on my poseidon's trident and licked up and down my 4 inch goliath"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Dirk Dammit on April 15, 2017, 12:20:12 pm
"Linda!" -Portaxx
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Yavuz on April 15, 2017, 01:55:43 pm
Kumquatxop: Grandpa Nod? Is that like "Command and Conquer 16: Tiberium Social Security"?
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Shell Game on April 17, 2017, 10:38:27 pm
"Thanks STOG." - Everyone
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Liatai on April 18, 2017, 03:03:53 pm
"You're welcome!" - STOG
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Bobguinary Novel on April 21, 2017, 10:39:12 am
Need help finding which episode the third crickets joke was in. It's the one where lemon says something to the effect of being better than everyone because he saw that one Simpson's episode.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Because Fucking a Decapitated Sherman Tank Would Be Creepy on April 21, 2017, 12:44:18 pm
Need help finding which episode the third crickets joke was in. It's the one where lemon says something to the effect of being better than everyone because he saw that one Simpson's episode.
Sanguinary Novel, April 21, 2017, 10:39:12 am

That was episode 799.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Boots Raingear on April 21, 2017, 12:50:48 pm
That was episode 799.
My Special Finisher is the Sherman Tank, April 21, 2017, 12:44:18 pm

Remind me in 17 years that we will need to skip that number.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: TurkeyPopulationGuessingMan on April 21, 2017, 07:38:00 pm
That was episode 799.
My Special Finisher is the Sherman Tank, April 21, 2017, 12:44:18 pm

Remind me in 17 years that we will need to skip that number.
Boots Raingear, April 21, 2017, 12:50:48 pm

That episode should be numbered 199 instead.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Boots Raingear on April 21, 2017, 09:47:54 pm
That episode should be numbered 199 instead.
TurkeyVolumeGuessing, April 21, 2017, 07:38:00 pm

Good idea. Somebody start working on a doc for people that either have not yet traveled into the past or have returned from the past to tell people about what life is like in the present. No need to rush, you've got time.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: GirlKisser420 on April 21, 2017, 09:54:28 pm
print out a doc and put it in Bunkers for survivors of the Collapse to read
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Dirk Dammit on April 30, 2017, 06:27:15 pm
Pull out
Cum on belly
Flop penis into pool of cum
Shout like a Magikarp!

-Portaxx
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Yavuz on May 08, 2017, 02:26:39 pm
"Live long and fuck off." -John Toast
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Gyro on May 22, 2017, 04:16:05 pm
What episode was "It sounds like she might be haunted by alcoholism demons" from again?
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Shell Game on May 22, 2017, 05:38:24 pm
Lemon: Kumquatxop, how do you spell 'masturbate?'
Kumquatxop (over protests): Oh I know! It's H-A-R-R-Y P-O-T-T-E-R.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Neal on May 22, 2017, 05:50:04 pm
What episode was "It sounds like she might be haunted by alcoholism demons" from again?
GlazeYaDeadHomie, May 22, 2017, 04:16:05 pm

189.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: LancashireMcGee on May 29, 2017, 05:27:04 pm
I vaguely recall that there was an episode where Lemon (I think) started going on about the Marxist symbolism of Mario, and then somebody else came in and interrupted him with the actual episode topic. Was that a real thing, or a fever dream thing?
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Shigan on June 01, 2017, 01:18:56 pm
I keep all my Poke Balls in a Pringles can
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Shell Game on June 01, 2017, 01:25:27 pm
"Linda!" -Portaxx
Dirk Dammit, April 15, 2017, 12:20:12 pm
Okay, I need help. Which episode was this? I have a friend who loves the ongoing Linda joke but she hasn't heard the original. Gotta remedy that. It was a questions/answers/wikihow wasn't it?
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Neal on June 01, 2017, 02:06:54 pm
I vaguely recall that there was an episode where Lemon (I think) started going on about the Marxist symbolism of Mario, and then somebody else came in and interrupted him with the actual episode topic. Was that a real thing, or a fever dream thing?
LancashireMcGee, May 29, 2017, 05:27:04 pm

That rings a bell, so if you hallucinated it, than I did too. After going back through a bunch of old episode intros, I can't seem to pinpoint which episode actually contains it, though.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Puppy Time on June 02, 2017, 10:45:22 am
"Linda!" -Portaxx
Dirk Dammit, April 15, 2017, 12:20:12 pm
Okay, I need help. Which episode was this? I have a friend who loves the ongoing Linda joke but she hasn't heard the original. Gotta remedy that. It was a questions/answers/wikihow wasn't it?
Shell Game, June 01, 2017, 01:25:27 pm

I wanna say it's one of the Wikis How.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Bobguinary Novel on June 02, 2017, 01:22:27 pm
"Linda!" -Portaxx
Dirk Dammit, April 15, 2017, 12:20:12 pm
Okay, I need help. Which episode was this? I have a friend who loves the ongoing Linda joke but she hasn't heard the original. Gotta remedy that. It was a questions/answers/wikihow wasn't it?
Shell Game, June 01, 2017, 01:25:27 pm

I wanna say it's one of the Wikis How.
Puppy Time, June 02, 2017, 10:45:22 am

177 is where the bulk of the Linda jokes come from. I swear that name comes up earlier though.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Lemon on June 05, 2017, 01:45:17 pm
I have now, on two separate occasions, spit out what I was drinking after hearing Jack Chick yell "I MAKE HIM FUCK THE JELLY GLASS"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: TurkeyPopulationGuessingMan on June 05, 2017, 08:44:20 pm
Linda was from the "How to wear adult diapers" wikihow, either 177 or 176.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Shell Game on June 05, 2017, 09:51:13 pm
Linda was from the "How to wear adult diapers" wikihow, either 177 or 176.
TurkeyVolumeGuessing, June 05, 2017, 08:44:20 pm
I found it by happenstance while re-listening to some episodes at work. It's definitely 177. Thanks everyone!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Nemo2342 on June 11, 2017, 12:24:42 am
I vaguely recall that there was an episode where Lemon (I think) started going on about the Marxist symbolism of Mario, and then somebody else came in and interrupted him with the actual episode topic. Was that a real thing, or a fever dream thing?
LancashireMcGee, May 29, 2017, 05:27:04 pm

That rings a bell, so if you hallucinated it, than I did too. After going back through a bunch of old episode intros, I can't seem to pinpoint which episode actually contains it, though.
Neal, June 01, 2017, 02:06:54 pm

You might both be thinking of episode 11: A Feeling of Kinship. John Toast starts with "Video Game as Art: An Exploration of the Super Mario Brothers Franchise", then Lemon pops in with the actual topic.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Because Fucking a Decapitated Sherman Tank Would Be Creepy on July 12, 2017, 09:18:18 am
"So we meet again, General Cumtalk..."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Spooks on July 17, 2017, 11:56:12 am
I YAM
WHAT I
YAM!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: GirlKisser420 on July 18, 2017, 04:17:41 am
Wanna watch a fat super saiyan cum?
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Vinny Possum on July 18, 2017, 04:20:28 am
Not an exact quote, but STOG desperately trying to get into a fuck party no one wanted to be a part of in "I'll Show You the Life of the Mind" was beautiful and perfect.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Because Fucking a Decapitated Sherman Tank Would Be Creepy on July 20, 2017, 03:51:45 pm
"Oh don't go near vegan, you always run out of cigarettes."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: GirlKisser420 on July 28, 2017, 06:07:00 pm
STOG: Dangerous plants are cool and all, I just planted 1000 venus flytraps in my neighbour's yard
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Caroline on July 30, 2017, 12:36:57 pm
The WWIZZARD FORUUUUUUMMMMS!!!!!!


I know this was posted like five times in the other thread, but I have no regrets.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Silent Liver Disease on July 31, 2017, 05:50:58 pm
The WWIZZARD FORUUUUUUMMMMS!!!!!!


I know this was posted like five times in the other thread, but I have no regrets.
Caroline, July 30, 2017, 12:36:57 pm

Seeing as you are an F Plus quote, I think you're in the clear.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: GirlKisser420 on July 31, 2017, 11:47:24 pm
Stog: Scrampf...... that's the sound a cake makes when you sit on it
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: dickthedick on August 02, 2017, 07:17:31 am
"So Marcus, you're gonna have to turn and cough, no homo."
Adam Bozarth in #085, the delivery is perfect.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Because Fucking a Decapitated Sherman Tank Would Be Creepy on August 04, 2017, 03:15:11 pm
I do like risotto—I did like risotto! I did like risotto!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: KingKalamari on August 04, 2017, 10:05:00 pm
"Aside from that, his former fiancee died of Leukemia some time ago as well. Her name was Cecilia.

CECILIA, NO!"

Adam's delivery kills me every time
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Spooks on August 10, 2017, 12:59:19 pm
Stog: I feel like I need the placenta more than the baby does and the baby needs a levelheaded mama more than it needs the placenta!
Lemon: Baby needs a levelheaded mama... who eats... placentas...
Stog: TOUCHDOWN!!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Because Fucking a Decapitated Sherman Tank Would Be Creepy on August 24, 2017, 07:12:55 am
Francis Dec has gone... even more crazy!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: GirlKisser420 on August 24, 2017, 08:04:14 pm
Stog: I'm James Joyce and I'm the Human Tripod. Watch me do pushups. One: Ulysses. Two: Nora
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Cheapskate on August 27, 2017, 10:52:01 pm
“Working for Donald Trump is humiliating. I’m gonna go sell furry porn.”—Lemon, Ep. 134
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Ragnarok Boobies on August 28, 2017, 01:04:58 am
"Foot goes on pussy? Foot goes on pussy? Foot goes on pussy." - STOG  132: Skyrim Has Crashed (User Decency Error) (https://thefpl.us/episode/132)
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Because Fucking a Decapitated Sherman Tank Would Be Creepy on August 28, 2017, 03:32:28 am
"Oh another big thick cock I couldn't possibly I've eaten so many already, oh maybe one more." –Nutshell in her amazing Midwestern Housewife voice.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: GirlKisser420 on August 29, 2017, 06:28:02 am
 Boots: I don't know how anyone can be a maybe on sounding
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Because Fucking a Decapitated Sherman Tank Would Be Creepy on August 31, 2017, 08:13:20 pm
"I'm basically the Edward Snowden of masturbating in my car."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Spooks on September 01, 2017, 09:04:31 am
"I'm basically the Edward Snowden of masturbating in my car."
BLOW UP THE SHERMAN TANK, August 31, 2017, 08:13:20 pm

This is going to be the JFK investigation of cumming on the wall!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: GirlKisser420 on September 12, 2017, 01:58:59 am
Whoever in the live show audience said "It's a Living...." during jimmyfrank's Human Furniture bit is a proper legend
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Adam Bozarth on September 12, 2017, 11:28:18 pm
Whoever in the live show audience said "It's a Living...." during jimmyfrank's Human Furniture bit is a proper legend
GirlKisser420, September 12, 2017, 01:58:59 am

You're welcome
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Bobguinary Novel on October 02, 2017, 09:53:38 pm
I brought in this Ron Popeil food dehydrator. You know why? BECAUSE IT'S WORTHLESS TOO.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Vinny Possum on October 03, 2017, 05:22:56 pm
Meow
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: SATAN MILKSHAKE on October 03, 2017, 06:46:07 pm
[very human voice] Meow.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Because Fucking a Decapitated Sherman Tank Would Be Creepy on October 05, 2017, 11:39:53 am
Witches get stitches!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Sham bam bamina! on October 05, 2017, 09:38:09 pm
"That growth is... ponential."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Because Fucking a Decapitated Sherman Tank Would Be Creepy on October 12, 2017, 03:08:57 am
"Times are changing, and my username is ledzep."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Shell Game on October 17, 2017, 07:43:38 pm
"All I know is that it's waning so you should bring your umbwewwa."

The best pun in a Nutshell!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Caroline on October 18, 2017, 03:08:59 am
Lemon, with inexplicable speech impediment: EXCUSE ME?! IT'S FERNANDO THE UNDYING?!?!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Mique on October 18, 2017, 11:36:34 pm
STOG: Hello woman, please let me access your tunnels.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Sham bam bamina! on October 19, 2017, 12:11:05 am
"This film is about the infinite shame suit spittle!"

—Jack Chick, trying bravely to read and laugh uncontrollably at the same time
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Because Fucking a Decapitated Sherman Tank Would Be Creepy on October 23, 2017, 11:19:36 am
"Watch out Lukas, that muttering monster girl is going to swallow all your semen!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Vinny Possum on October 26, 2017, 09:51:14 am
"Lemon, why is this happening?"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: sambair on October 26, 2017, 04:37:17 pm
"THAT'S FOUR JESUSES"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Vinny Possum on October 27, 2017, 08:27:05 am
"Some things. Aren't. About. Fucking. Websites. Lemon."

"Sadly, that's true"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Neal on October 28, 2017, 06:58:09 pm
"I know more about Sinéad O'Connor's anus than I do my own."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: SATAN MILKSHAKE on November 02, 2017, 05:20:23 am
Lemon: Oh, it's fandan!
Boots: Yeah it's fondant--
Lemon: Fandan!
Frank West: It's fondah!
Isfahan: Fon don?
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Sham bam bamina! on November 02, 2017, 06:35:44 am
Tailhole!
Taaail-hooole!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Lemon on November 02, 2017, 07:58:54 am
Lemon: Oh, it's fandan!
Boots: Yeah it's fondant--
Lemon: Fandan!
Frank West: It's fondah!
Isfahan: Fon don?
RADICAL SANDWICH ANARCHY, November 02, 2017, 05:20:23 am

When we recorded that episode I had just seen an episode of the actual non-Paul-F-Tompkins voiced Cake Boss, and I couldn't get over how strangely he said the word "fondant".

Besides that and the fact that his cakes are mostly inedible, there's nothing else interesting about that show.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Spenny on November 03, 2017, 11:40:41 pm
HI, HI I'M IWANTTOSEEPEEPEE
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Because Fucking a Decapitated Sherman Tank Would Be Creepy on November 04, 2017, 09:49:02 pm
Isfahan: [defining a "milk bar"] You don't know what that is it's basically like any normal bar you would go to except they have vaporized smoke pouring out the taps instead of bear.
Toast: Rarrr.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Fatty Bo Batty on November 05, 2017, 12:35:06 pm
“Frank West: Hates food, loves cum.”
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: SATAN MILKSHAKE on November 05, 2017, 05:15:28 pm
Jimmyfranks: "So...memes?"
Everyone else: [noises of displeasure]
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Sham bam bamina! on November 10, 2017, 02:35:05 pm
"Nice chakra you got.  Shame if somethin' happened to it."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Isfahan on November 12, 2017, 05:20:30 pm
"A crooked man appears... as if by shitty writing."

-Bunnybread, episode 266
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Boots Raingear on November 13, 2017, 08:45:04 pm
"I have a question Lou: Could I put my pen in the eyeglasses pocket?"

"FUCK YOU. Fuck yourself with that pen to death."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Sham bam bamina! on November 13, 2017, 11:09:22 pm
"You remember when you used to remote-control your skateboard?  Remember that?"
"No, I don't.  I don't remem-"
"You should, fuckface!"
"Oh my God, you're so abusive!"
"Eat shit!  Remote control..."
(laughter)
"Eat shit!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Carbon on November 21, 2017, 01:34:38 pm
Frank West, quietly, in the background: Broomstick passions!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Wrought on November 22, 2017, 06:35:40 pm
"If only it weren't for a typo, Hitler would still be with us." -Bunnybread
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Because Fucking a Decapitated Sherman Tank Would Be Creepy on November 22, 2017, 06:46:00 pm
"Tried or thinking of trying", the slogan of the internet.
-Adam Bozarth
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Neal on November 23, 2017, 07:52:43 pm
"You just stepped on a landmine of romance!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Spooks on November 24, 2017, 05:55:30 pm
John Toast: I didn't know your patronus was Slick Rick.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Sham bam bamina! on November 27, 2017, 07:40:45 pm
"Down, Butthole!  Down!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Shell Game on November 28, 2017, 12:23:30 pm
"All the wrong people showed up to our March on Quinoa-shington."

i feel one with this joke
finally
completeness
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Because Fucking a Decapitated Sherman Tank Would Be Creepy on December 02, 2017, 03:16:44 pm
Lemon: What are the walnuts doing in there?
Nutshell: Dying a slow and unpleasant death.
Lemon: [as a walnut] I could've been in baklava... fuuuuuck!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Wrought on December 10, 2017, 08:46:37 pm
HI, HI I'M IWANTTOSEEPEEPEE
Spenny, November 03, 2017, 11:40:41 pm
HEY. HEY.

YOU POOP, I JERK OFF.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: GirlKisser420 on December 10, 2017, 08:59:19 pm
DOOP DE DOOP SHOW ME YOUR POOP
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Sham bam bamina! on December 10, 2017, 10:26:45 pm
I want to see peepee
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: SATAN MILKSHAKE on December 11, 2017, 07:48:38 am
Okay, what if--if you were to, Zarla, if you were to go watch a, a um, a movie, either at a place...for watching movies or at your, uh, or your apartment, where would you--like, what movie would you like to see?

well-known movie watching place
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Ambious on December 11, 2017, 10:43:50 am
"Keep getting pregnant until you have twins, and then you'll REALLY be at the top!"

-John Toast
Episode 109: Your Role Is Played Out
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Wrought on December 11, 2017, 10:26:28 pm
I'm fuckin dying now, can someone please remind me which episode iwant2seepeepee is from so I can listen to it again? One of kumquat's greatest moments
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: GirlKisser420 on December 11, 2017, 10:28:07 pm
https://thefpl.us/episode/180 (https://thefpl.us/episode/180) This one I think.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Sham bam bamina! on December 15, 2017, 09:21:35 pm
She told me while I was ejaculating: good boy ! very well give to your girl !.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Spenny on December 16, 2017, 01:40:32 am
https://thefpl.us/episode/180 (https://thefpl.us/episode/180) This one I think.
GirlKisser420, December 11, 2017, 10:28:07 pm

It's exactly that one. If you'll excuse some very shameful self promotion, I'll link to my own youtube magazine of it.


I've got like 3 total podcast magazines uploaded, but about a hundred more that I want to upload but I'll probably never get around to it because I am lazy!!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Wrought on December 16, 2017, 09:10:21 am
Thanks so much, this is going on my favourites so I can watch it every day
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: SirSlarty on December 18, 2017, 07:09:35 pm
This exchange makes me giggle every time

Lemon: So, Frank West...

Frank West: That's me! :D
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Neal on December 18, 2017, 07:11:01 pm
This exchange makes me giggle every time

Lemon: So, Frank West...

Frank West: That's me! :D
SirSlarty, December 18, 2017, 07:09:35 pm

On a related note:

Boots Raingear: Hi, F Plus!
Frank West: Hi, Lemon!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Wrought on December 18, 2017, 10:49:53 pm
The phrase "Yo, yo, yo/ My name's Kath/ I'm gonna tutor you in math" still haunts my dreams from UGH! F Plus Raps
Bunnybread has a penchant for portraying the scariest women in existence.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Wrought on December 19, 2017, 02:33:43 pm
"Oh I'm sorr-I'm sorry, let's stop everyone, VICTOR LASZLO wants SMALL CHILDREN to be addicted to CRYSTAL METH!

I'm against that personally."- Lemon, DOWNLOADING PLACEBO.EXE
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Caroline on December 21, 2017, 08:58:46 am
SHUT UP I AM FABIO
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: chai tea latte on December 21, 2017, 12:37:48 pm
JACK CHICK: Lemon did go and clean the toilets, and lo, it was good.
LEMON: No, it kind of wasn't!
STOG: Now let us all sing from the Bible.
LEMON:...What?
PORTAXX: Sing from the Bible, with its uniquely...
LEMON: You went to weird churches, STOG.
STOG: I, hey, you go to one Baptist church you've went to em all.
LEMON: Well, fair enough, fair enough.
PORTAXX: In fairness, being baptized in a toilet might explain a few things about STOG.

(ep 218, 47 minutes in)
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Wrought on December 22, 2017, 01:14:45 pm
"I can't wait until someone hacks the internet of things lightbulbs I've installed in my apartment during our fuck party so I can be single-handedly responsible for bringing down Bahrain's entire economy." -STOG, 254
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Wrought on December 25, 2017, 08:02:56 pm
Help me, quotes thread: Which episode was it where Lemon told Boots to read something to the tune of Never Met A Girl Like You Before and what was it he read?
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Liatai on December 28, 2017, 05:05:38 pm
I don't remember exactly, but to give other people a potential lead? I'm pretty sure it was about women farting. I remember it mainly because it misspelled "discrete" as something like "dicrete." Maybe in the Girls Ask Guys episode?
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Because Fucking a Decapitated Sherman Tank Would Be Creepy on December 29, 2017, 01:29:30 am
I think it was the Question.com episode.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Liatai on December 29, 2017, 07:20:09 pm
We have a winner! Question.com episode (234), around 11 minutes and 45 seconds in. :D

"You never heard any girl woman before, because they're much more dicreet. Why not start going in the men's room, when you need to?"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Wrought on December 29, 2017, 11:51:09 pm
Thank you, what an instant classic.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Neal on December 30, 2017, 10:46:08 pm
puuuudgy belllllly
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Ambious on January 01, 2018, 12:40:19 pm
What I'm looking for: Treat me right and no nut in my butt
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Because Fucking a Decapitated Sherman Tank Would Be Creepy on January 01, 2018, 12:41:28 pm
I'm looking for a woman who would like to cut off my pee-pee and balls.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: sambair on January 03, 2018, 07:02:40 am
"Adonis eats tampons!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Sham bam bamina! on January 03, 2018, 09:21:23 am
(about My Little Dashie)

"Oh, good!  A pack mule for all my baggage!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: SATAN MILKSHAKE on January 06, 2018, 02:18:21 pm
"I dunno, I've heard it's gay if the decks touch."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Ambious on January 06, 2018, 05:06:34 pm
"I'm looking at a picture of a falcon sucking a rabbit's dick".
– Lemon
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Shigan on January 09, 2018, 07:22:15 pm
Portaxx: So it's like Iron Chef, only it's Iron Ring-Through-Your-Pussy.
Lemon: Fukui-san! Her tits are very large!
Zarla: Oh wow... They are very large...
Lemon: Oh, it seems like you really like big tits!
Boots: Why yes, Ohta, it seems like she's pierced her nipples with a celtic rune!
Zarla: Celtic runes are so pretty...

some wonderful impressions from episode 49
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Spooks on January 11, 2018, 04:20:17 pm
"It makes the baby fill good" (Ask for Michael!) has fast become my favorite misspelling to repeat in my head if I want to make myself laugh fast. It's even better than the "We'll never show anyone the hole picture", I tell you. Give it a try.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Because Fucking a Decapitated Sherman Tank Would Be Creepy on January 14, 2018, 05:01:36 pm
Holy shit, this is Manti Te'o, and these bugs don't exist!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Neal on January 16, 2018, 06:34:50 pm
"My dick is more of a blunderbuss than a rifle."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: cat_examiner on January 16, 2018, 06:37:57 pm
[vaping]

Achilles Heelies: I checked to see if there was a connection issue so I took a knife and alcohol and removed the residue on it but that didn't fix anything.
Frank West: Knives and alcohol fix most of my problems
Achilles: Are you a juggalo too?
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Neal on January 21, 2018, 06:58:59 pm
"I use guns for all my dusting." - surprisingly, not Isfahan
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Isfahan on January 21, 2018, 07:08:58 pm
The best way to dust with a gun would be to position it such that the muzzle is perpendicular to the dusty surface. The dust will go elsewhere.

(https://i.imgur.com/A4Cwsbv.gif)
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Carbon on January 21, 2018, 07:19:58 pm
The best way to dust with a gun would be to position it such that the muzzle is perpendicular to the dusty surface. The dust will go elsewhere.

(https://i.imgur.com/A4Cwsbv.gif)
Isfahan, January 21, 2018, 07:08:58 pm

I'm curious if this wouldn't leave burn marks or powder residue like you see in crime shows and movies.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: SATAN MILKSHAKE on January 21, 2018, 09:24:53 pm
Kumquatxop: "I like Harry Potter!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Bobguinary Novel on January 21, 2018, 09:26:07 pm
Kumquatxop: "I like Harry Potter!"
RADICAL SANDWICH ANARCHY, January 21, 2018, 09:24:53 pm

Source: Every episode
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: internetcoolguy on January 26, 2018, 12:50:30 am
up the butt temperature slut
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Wrought on January 27, 2018, 01:31:28 pm
"Snake! That's Maggot Faggot! Don't let him get close to your dick!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Yavuz on January 27, 2018, 02:27:19 pm
"I fuck, thanks." -Frank West
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: beelzeboob on February 04, 2018, 09:40:01 am
Oh, Bjork, I'm a terrible squash girl~~
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Sham bam bamina! on February 06, 2018, 11:40:35 am
"You think the dick is the answer?!"

"...I'm sorry, the correct answer was Antietam.  And you risked how many points?"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Elmo Oxygen on February 08, 2018, 01:31:50 pm
"Hey babe, you wanna just sit around and watch some Seinfeld?"
"Are you on the St. John's Worth again???"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Wrought on February 09, 2018, 07:44:44 pm
"You've got a brain full of eggs, sweetheart." -Bunnybread
...in what was a surprisingly good British accent for the F Plus.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Shigan on February 15, 2018, 11:38:10 pm
Transformers, what if you could fuck em ♩
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Wrought on February 21, 2018, 11:21:29 am
Which episode was "Tolken like birds" from again?
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: SirSlarty on February 21, 2018, 11:48:38 am
Which episode was "Tolken like birds" from again?
Wrought, February 21, 2018, 11:21:29 am

I think it's, ep 102: I've Also Got An Idea For A Reboot Of Young Guns
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Sham bam bamina! on February 23, 2018, 03:38:12 pm
"This is Sugar Kitten Cat Face, I'm a yummy male mommy."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: curlicuecal on February 25, 2018, 08:28:14 pm
"Aside from that, his former fiancee died of Leukemia some time ago as well. Her name was Cecilia.

CECILIA, NO!"

Adam's delivery kills me every time
KingKalamari, August 04, 2017, 10:05:00 pm

And then when they mentioned his next girlfriends dying: "Four more girlfriends, NO!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: curlicuecal on February 25, 2018, 08:40:11 pm
-“Can a person get MRSA by going to the funeral of a dead person who died of MRSA in the blood?”
-Right, there's just aerosoled MRSA in the air at a dead person’s funeral.
-Depends on what you do at the funeral, I suppose–also “the funeral of a dead person”
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: curlicuecal on February 25, 2018, 08:41:44 pm
So this website has a list of herbs you should stay away from, and it says that if you are pregnant you should, for example, avoid pennyroyal. And I mean, yes, probably, haha, unless you don’t super want to be pregnant. But it also says that if you’re pregnant maybe stay away from nightshade. But, you know. If you’re not pregnant, then fuck it, it’s fine!
-Episode 154: WitchyHow.com
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: curlicuecal on February 25, 2018, 08:43:48 pm
-Number six– leave an area in your yard to grow wild, so that the fairies can play freely.

-Are you sure you’re not thinking of mosquitoes?

-Episode 154: WitchyHow.com
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Bombshops on February 27, 2018, 02:32:02 am
i can't remember what episode it was from but for some fuckin reason i've had "pooping is haram for me" stuck in my head all day, thanks STOG
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Sham bam bamina! on February 27, 2018, 04:08:46 am
"Hey duuude, hey dude, wake up!  My asshole uncle's been hittin' me with all sorts of malicious sorceries!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Vinny Possum on February 27, 2018, 10:37:03 pm
"Hey Buddy, a question? Your whole deal, what is it?"

Frank West, Episode 241: Drugs! (SWIM's most euphoric combination)
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Ambious on February 28, 2018, 02:05:11 pm
"FUR PILE! FUR PILE! FUR PILE!:"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Wrought on February 28, 2018, 07:37:50 pm
"You can't spell "suicide" without the "d"!"
-Kumquatxop, 165
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Liatai on February 28, 2018, 11:23:36 pm
"But they knew kung fu!"
"Kung fu's not sustainable as a career choice!"

- Episode 104
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Mix on March 01, 2018, 01:44:50 pm
Every now and then I'll just have '♪♫♬ Tai-Chi Harry Potter ♪♫♬' run through my head for absolutely no reason at all.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Seth "Slimy" Rollins on March 01, 2018, 02:41:03 pm
Every now and then I'll just have '♪♫♬ Tai-Chi Harry Potter ♪♫♬' run through my head for absolutely no reason at all.
Mix, March 01, 2018, 01:44:50 pm
Same, but whenever I screw up on something or see something terrible I just hear Lemon screaming FUUUUCK
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Sham bam bamina! on March 02, 2018, 03:23:39 am
"That's a good New Orleans accent you have there."

"Thankya.  I'm from... Nawlins.  I like jazz and beignets."

Edit: "Oh, you wanna step into my email inbox?  Come on!  Bring it on, bitchhh."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Positronic on March 02, 2018, 05:29:23 pm
I wish I could have the Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind memory-erasing procedure done on my memories of John's Anne Rice voice so I could listen to it for the first time again. It's just that incredible.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Because Fucking a Decapitated Sherman Tank Would Be Creepy on March 05, 2018, 06:35:51 pm
Lemon: "Hey Lou!"
Lou: "Oh no."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Seth "Slimy" Rollins on March 05, 2018, 11:50:41 pm
Portaxx: If you ever see a girl call two guys next to eachother 'yaoi', pick them up by the hair, swing them around a few times, and throw them into the nearest fire.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Wrought on March 06, 2018, 10:09:07 pm
Not an exact quote but I remember one reading (no idea what topic but I suspect jelqing) having something to the effect of "keep going if you feel muscle pain. Stop if you feel bone pain"
This is how cavemen describe pain
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Neal on March 06, 2018, 10:32:39 pm
Portaxx: If you ever see a girl call two guys next to eachother 'yaoi', pick them up by the hair, swing them around a few times, and throw them into the nearest fire.
Seth "Slimy" Rollins, March 05, 2018, 11:50:41 pm
Lou: That seems like a reasonable response.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Because Fucking a Decapitated Sherman Tank Would Be Creepy on March 07, 2018, 01:09:57 am
Not an exact quote but I remember one reading (no idea what topic but I suspect jelqing) having something to the effect of "keep going if you feel muscle pain. Stop if you feel bone pain"
This is how cavemen describe pain
Wrought, March 06, 2018, 10:09:07 pm

It was one of the first of many panic size-increasing schemes described in the BlurtIt episode.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Sham bam bamina! on March 07, 2018, 07:57:44 am
"Then use fire to disinfect the needle, the once the needle cools wrap the needle with string only leaving a bit of the needle at the tip exposed."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Wrought on March 09, 2018, 01:21:44 pm
"I am a monster, and I think that the human knees were not designed to carry 500 pounds."
-"Doctor" Victor Laszlo
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Wrought on March 09, 2018, 06:27:11 pm
Adam Bozarth: "I had CCed a copy of an email from the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster-"

Lemon:
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Wrought on March 11, 2018, 12:05:08 pm
"As usual, I end a recording mystified by cum."
-Nutshell Gulag
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: curlicuecal on March 12, 2018, 02:25:03 am
Brad Pitt really complicates things and doesn't make sense
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Sham bam bamina! on March 13, 2018, 06:25:42 pm
"It hurts, Mommy, it all hurts..."

Whined by Adam in the Change.org episode, bleakly applicable to many, many more.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Sham bam bamina! on March 15, 2018, 06:28:30 pm
"I always try to plant orgazums in the spring..."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Isfahan on March 17, 2018, 04:08:42 pm
Shout-out to Boots Raingear in Episode 161, "A Miserable Pile of Secrets," for this bit of D&D trivia. It's something nobody in the recording reacted to (or possibly heard), but I want him to know it wasn't lost on at least some of us!

LEMON: "You can't become a vampire by a spell or ritual (and that includes a wish spell), no matter how powerful you believe that spell to be."
BOOTS: "Aw, but that's a 9th-level spell!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Isfahan on March 17, 2018, 07:22:36 pm
"It turned out the DS cartridge was full of the most butt-slammingest porn I've ever seen!"

-STOG, 24 Terrible Hours 2017, Hour 10, 29m47s
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Shigan on March 19, 2018, 11:57:01 am
Lemon: ”You know what they say, repetition is... literature.”
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Bombshops on March 20, 2018, 01:19:05 am
Bunnybread: "[Beaver is] referencing the vagina of a woman. Now, for the vagina of a man, the term is woodchuck."
- Episode 50, What's Louisville Got To Do With It?

(there are so many quotable bits in this episode, but this one is probably my favorite.)
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Wrought on March 20, 2018, 09:06:51 am
"They don't understand that white men get nothing but disrespect...aaand twiiiiins."
-Adam Bozarth
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Wrought on March 22, 2018, 12:47:22 pm
I gotta say I love Lemon's "honourable samurai" voice he pulls in the waifu episode

"Ah yes...thank you for bandaging my wounds...you are a kind anime girl..."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Spooks on March 22, 2018, 05:05:46 pm
I will continue to discover more hidden quips in the episodes, they are so dense, every second there's so much going on. Here's the latest one I noticed, I had completely glossed over it in the hero registry episode:

Lemon: "So, Jimmyfranks, I have a couple of lime green questions for you..."

Portaxx: "Those- those are my favorite-- Synesthesia's kicking in! [freakout]"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Wrought on March 22, 2018, 05:48:49 pm
"I sure am excited for Pennyarcade Expo...and donuts!"
-Isfahan
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Sham bam bamina! on March 23, 2018, 08:57:34 pm
"You're somebody else's caaat!  I stole youuu!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: NutshellGulag on March 25, 2018, 03:30:41 am
"As usual, I end a recording mystified by cum."
-Nutshell Gulag
Wrought, March 11, 2018, 12:05:08 pm
I said that? When did I say that?!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Wrought on March 25, 2018, 07:43:11 am
"As usual, I end a recording mystified by cum."
-Nutshell Gulag
Wrought, March 11, 2018, 12:05:08 pm
I said that? When did I say that?!
NutshellGulag, March 25, 2018, 03:30:41 am
Gonna have to relisten to the last 10 minutes of four different episodes to verify, but it's either:
-The cooking with genitals episode
-The girlsaskguys episode
-The fucked up tumblr fanfiction where everything dies episode
-The monster girls wikia episode
Beginning to suspect this may have actually been a misattributed Squiddy quote
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Vinny Possum on March 25, 2018, 09:19:10 am
It may have been monster girl wiki? I listened to that episode recently and vaguely remember the quote
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Wrought on March 25, 2018, 09:28:21 am
Yeah okay if you remember it then it's probably in there. I probably started listening to it too late into it to hear the bit about the cum mystification
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Friend Anemone on March 25, 2018, 10:05:51 am
You nerds are both wrong, it’s from the end bumper of the ask reddit episode and Squiddy says it.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Wrought on March 25, 2018, 08:00:13 pm
I feel bad for not remembering this clasisc, but which episode was Jack Chick's "sometimes I wish I was never born" bit from
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Cradicus on March 25, 2018, 08:36:29 pm
I feel bad for not remembering this clasisc, but which episode was Jack Chick's "sometimes I wish I was never born" bit from
Wrought, March 25, 2018, 08:00:13 pm
Episode 18! The sequence starts around the 42 minute mark. I HATE MY GIANT HEAD
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Shell Game on March 26, 2018, 11:41:34 am
I feel bad for not remembering this clasisc, but which episode was Jack Chick's "sometimes I wish I was never born" bit from
Wrought, March 25, 2018, 08:00:13 pm
was it 18? it was pretty early wasn't it?
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Wrought on March 26, 2018, 12:35:46 pm
Aye it was
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Wrought on March 26, 2018, 04:15:23 pm
"I'm a liberal and I peed my pants, don't shoot!"
-Che "So Called" Guevara
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Sham bam bamina! on March 26, 2018, 05:04:35 pm
[boots] "Homework, motherfucker."

[lemon] "Homework fuck shit!  ASS fuck!"

[coolspot] "Cunt piss buggeryyy...!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Bombshops on March 26, 2018, 05:15:54 pm
STOG: "What's the deal with airline peanuts? Are they full of women?!"
- Ep 100b
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Wrought on March 27, 2018, 10:19:55 am
"This is my life's work! It's a mountain of shit!"
-Stog
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Shigan on March 29, 2018, 11:08:07 am
Carly: I’m over the way. Just away. Way further than you could think of. The moon. Whatever. Space- I’m dead. You know.
Dozerfleet: Did you know that your shirt is unlucky?!
Carly: I’m still dead, I can’t hear you.
Dozerfleet: In my tv show, whores get murdered when they wear that shirt!
Carly: Yeah, I’m calling the cops.
Dozerfleet: You don’t need to call the cops, I’ll protect you!
Carly: Of course, yeah.
Dozerfleet: I’ve got these pens!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: A Meat on April 05, 2018, 09:26:21 am
"welp, time to do the meth again"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Sham bam bamina! on April 05, 2018, 08:54:21 pm
Y'ALL LISTEN UP I GOT A BENOUNCEMENT TO MAKE
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Spooks on April 06, 2018, 01:57:02 pm
Background Portaxx: Now I'm far away!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Wrought on April 06, 2018, 05:00:01 pm
STOG: Ugh, I'm so sick of DARPA. I'm going off grid.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Sham bam bamina! on April 07, 2018, 07:26:57 pm
[boots] "Hey.  Hey, I have an opinion."

[lemon] "Oh thank God!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Wrought on April 08, 2018, 09:45:50 pm
"He did it! Kill him immediately!" -Adam, Garbage Day
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: SATAN MILKSHAKE on April 14, 2018, 03:06:12 am
Frank: Where are you when you're begging for sex dolls online? Like where are you in your life?
Nutshell: I'm fresh outta sex dolls.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: agentanalogue on April 15, 2018, 09:24:39 am
Had to look this one up to get the wording right. It's Lemon's response to a PUA's report of a sexual encounter:

"I'm gonna leave my comment right here, TheVaunce, and I understand that you're probably young, twentiesh or something, and you're probably a virgin and you went to the seduction community to try to get advice and everything like that, and I say this with all genuine--KILL YOURSELF. You are a terrible human being; you need to die."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Shigan on April 16, 2018, 06:24:05 pm
I'm a serial killer juggalo christian vampire.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Neal on April 19, 2018, 08:16:24 pm
That one reading from episode 191 where STOG randomly put "dere" on the ends of sentences.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Mique on April 21, 2018, 05:35:02 pm
Bunnybread: "How do ya'll feel about yo' asses?"
Lemon: "Protective... and afraid."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Sham bam bamina! on April 22, 2018, 12:14:58 am
"I didn't even wаnt to drill her vаginаl or аnаl hole..."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Shell Game on April 23, 2018, 10:13:28 am
I love side jokes.

Isfahan: I wonder if there is a Memento porn parody.

Adam Bozarth: I can't remember.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Spooks on April 23, 2018, 10:40:56 am
NEW DIAPER, WHO DIS
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Sham bam bamina! on April 23, 2018, 10:09:40 pm
"MY PRECUM GUSHES OUT, AS I RUB MY DICK ONTO THOSE HUGE TITS OF HERS."

(silence)

"MY PRECUM GUSHES.  YOU HEAR ME?"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Liatai on April 24, 2018, 07:46:23 am
"mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm"
-Lemon's keyboard, Garbage Day, Hour 12 (Yahoo! Answers Mythology, starting around 29:20)

"I keep trying to type 'bop' at the end."
-JW Friedman in response to the above event

(edited to try and reduce stretching of the page by excess mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm)
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Because Fucking a Decapitated Sherman Tank Would Be Creepy on April 24, 2018, 08:08:30 am
"Bullshit!"
-J.W. Friedman reacting to Mike Tomich's claim that cars from the '70s had better steering than modern cars.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Sham bam bamina! on April 24, 2018, 09:52:45 pm
[boots] "But... the gender that needs to be sexualized is bitching!"

[ballpit] "His fedora's gone Super Saiyan!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: SATAN MILKSHAKE on April 30, 2018, 07:50:54 am
"Stop keying my PT Cruiser, assholes! That's where I keep my Velvet Underground albums."

--Thanks, STOG
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Spooks on May 01, 2018, 04:03:47 pm
Lemon: Alright, F+, what have we learned?
Kumquat: I am a meat posicle.

I appreciate that the Borderlands psycho lines continue being reference material throughout the podcast, right to the second-most recent one as of right now.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Sham bam bamina! on May 01, 2018, 04:06:32 pm
I'm a little offended that you attribute such a classic The Fifth Element (http://youtube.com/watch?v=aZFH4wCLVXY) line to a video game.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Lemon on May 04, 2018, 09:11:33 am
Jack Chick: I MAKE HIM FUCK THE JELLY GLASS
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Wrought on May 06, 2018, 10:07:02 pm
I love quotes where whoever's hosting just gives up and describes what's going to happen

"We're going to keep going until we stop."  -Lemon, 45: It's Only Supernatural
"Alright, here's how this is gonna go down; you pick some shit, and then you say it out loud." Rap Hour, Garbage Day
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Because Fucking a Decapitated Sherman Tank Would Be Creepy on May 09, 2018, 01:51:05 am
"NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO! ... NO!"
-Lemon, "A Frottage in the Woods"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Shigan on May 13, 2018, 04:23:34 pm
Lemon: The very last section that we have here is called...
Boots: Where're you going Lemon?
Lemon: CLOOOOWNS!!!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: GirlKisser420 on May 13, 2018, 06:13:57 pm
That was how it was written in the doc. Not that it was necessary to pad that one out
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Friend Anemone on May 16, 2018, 08:23:28 am
Adam Bozarth: masturbation emoji masturbation emoji masturbation emoji
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Wrought on May 19, 2018, 12:44:36 pm
Lemon: What did we learn today, F+?
Toast: I learned Frorida.
Lemon: Frorida?
Toast: Frorida!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Sham bam bamina! on May 19, 2018, 05:58:43 pm
"I don't just pop out of a bush and hump an innocent creature."

"I make sure that creature has sinned first!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: dractivisionary on May 20, 2018, 11:04:51 am
"THE WIZARD FORUMS!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Wrought on May 20, 2018, 12:22:49 pm
Victor: Is there a vaccine for autism?
Toast: Yeah, just grind up Sonic The Hedgehog 2 cartridges and inject them into your bloodstream.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Seth "Slimy" Rollins on May 21, 2018, 05:09:32 pm
Lemon: I'm just excited that this early in the episode I get to get fistfucked by Dan Brown.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Wrought on May 28, 2018, 08:20:55 pm
Bunnybread: Warm it up taint

Everyone in the entire world at the same time: I'M ABOUT TO
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Wrought on May 30, 2018, 12:26:20 pm
STOG: I'm getting "political"!
Lemon: You're a "moron"!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Wrought on May 31, 2018, 07:59:12 pm
Chris Collision: Holy shit, dot-dot-dot-dot-dot-dot-dot, here is nothing to freeload!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Wrought on June 01, 2018, 02:52:09 pm
Adam Bozarth: Back Alley Dave is back from Iraq, and he needs fifty dollars...
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: boooo566 on June 12, 2018, 04:30:43 pm
"That is a website that lists all my other websites"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Wrought on June 12, 2018, 08:50:28 pm
Cap'n Stog: Arrr! I bury my dirty underwear on a deserted island!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Liatai on June 13, 2018, 01:30:58 am
"Just look at the porn!!!"
-an exasperated STOG, episode 282
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Sham bam bamina! on June 15, 2018, 04:32:55 pm
Not an F+ quote per se, but one that pops into my head every few months:

"Nooo!!!  Papa got a everybody mask!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Ambious on June 17, 2018, 04:10:42 pm
Lemon: Hey Kumquatxop?
Kumquatxop: Yes, hello!
Lemon: Would you like to know what the next section in this document is called?
Kumquatxop: *waits a beat* No.
Lemon: Ok. Well, let's just move on then.
Kumquatxop: Bye.
Lemon: Bye, bye Kumquat!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Wrought on June 17, 2018, 07:18:27 pm
Adam Bozarth: Attention, women on the internet: You get ONE chance with me. Don't blow it.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Wrought on June 19, 2018, 10:00:03 am
Was eating at subway today and all I could think of was lemon saying "I notice my smelly pile of play dough looks just like the picture!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Shigan on June 19, 2018, 12:44:10 pm
Do finsluts cum to give me cash?
Do finsluts need financial s m a s h ?
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: eldritchhat on June 20, 2018, 08:54:24 am
Lemon: fo' real children
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Sham bam bamina! on June 20, 2018, 12:17:21 pm
(http://i.imgur.com/mf2QZEk.gif)              (http://i.imgur.com/mf2QZEk.gif)              (http://i.imgur.com/mf2QZEk.gif)              (http://i.imgur.com/mf2QZEk.gif)
YOUR PENIS IS OUT.
YOUR PENIS IS OUT.

(http://i.imgur.com/mf2QZEk.gif)              (http://i.imgur.com/mf2QZEk.gif)              (http://i.imgur.com/mf2QZEk.gif)              (http://i.imgur.com/mf2QZEk.gif)
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Wrought on June 20, 2018, 02:35:19 pm
Jack Chick: I shot my flower gun at the wiggly-boy!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Dr. Buttplug on June 20, 2018, 09:08:35 pm
Jack Chick: I shot my flower gun at the wiggly-boy!
Wrought, June 20, 2018, 02:35:19 pm
(https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/mario/images/c/c7/Wiggler.gif/revision/latest?cb=20150330032343)
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: eldritchhat on June 21, 2018, 11:01:39 am
Lemon: Now, what rhymes with tribute? I know! MIKE JONES
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Wrought on June 21, 2018, 11:03:46 am
I'M MIKE JONES AND I'M BLEEDIN FROM MY CHEST
I'M MIKE JONES AND I'M BLEEDIN FROM MY CHEST
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Shigan on June 26, 2018, 11:36:32 am
Stog: He's got a body count so ridiculously high, he's chopped up more bodies that Roseanne's eaten pies.
JW Friedman: Timely!

Every juggalo rap song needs a sarcastic hype man.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Caroline on June 28, 2018, 01:03:14 pm
Paul Blart: Mall Cop II is the most innovative movie I've seen in years!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Vinny Possum on June 29, 2018, 07:41:09 am
More perfect delivery of a doc lime than a joke but

JW Freidman (as Saturn010): I have reptilian feet and you do not. Suck. Shit.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Ambious on June 29, 2018, 12:56:27 pm
Body building is dying because of steroids and gay porn.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Wrought on June 29, 2018, 07:09:01 pm
Which episode was the one where Frank West said "Can anyone STUPID?"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Wrought on June 29, 2018, 08:02:43 pm
Kumquatxop: "I....YAM.WHAT. I. YAM.".
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Sham bam bamina! on June 29, 2018, 10:07:44 pm
"I am taking away your porno key, sir!  You are no longer allowed to access pornography!"

"...Can I have the key?"

"But Lemmy, you're already holding a key."

"I... I like to collect them."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Ambious on July 06, 2018, 08:50:04 am
Jimmyfranks: "The Ass, Grass, or Google Glass app"
Lemon: "HAHA OH MY!!!"
*everyone in the gamestop applauds*
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: cat_examiner on July 08, 2018, 12:05:16 am
Lemon, in my masturbation episode: "up and down the





"" Daaaaaaaaahng "" "
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Sham bam bamina! on July 16, 2018, 12:24:25 am
Isfahan, after Achilles reveals that he's wearing Kumquat as a fursuit:

"Would you say yes hello?  I'd say yes hello..."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Ambious on July 18, 2018, 12:46:42 pm
10 SIG
20 HEIL
30 GOTO 10
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Sham bam bamina! on July 24, 2018, 12:41:45 pm
Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck...

fuck.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Ambious on July 30, 2018, 03:53:16 pm
Hung Wankinstein
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: spunkzilla69 on July 31, 2018, 11:37:20 am
"Don't be stupiss"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Ambious on August 02, 2018, 06:51:04 am
Poop can neither be created nor destroyed
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Vinny Possum on August 02, 2018, 08:59:25 am
"I've discovered who the serial killer is! It's me!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Nikaer Drekin on August 06, 2018, 05:51:54 pm
"Mummy! Oi wanna be like 'er when oi grow up!"
-Isfahan, episode 210, as an implausible British child
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Sham bam bamina! on August 06, 2018, 08:44:10 pm
My favorite kid from #210:

Yeah... fuck you!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Ragnarok Boobies on August 06, 2018, 10:31:42 pm
“...the neck of a goose.”
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Dawnswalker on August 07, 2018, 02:38:57 pm
"This is the tube-toppiest forum we've ever read."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Wrought on August 08, 2018, 12:06:33 pm
Toast: I see into your soul! It makes my pee-pee rise!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Wrought on August 08, 2018, 12:10:01 pm
Bozarth: These women are having SEX in front of a CAMERA for YOU!
Lemon: NOT GOOD ENOUGH!!!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: izzy on August 10, 2018, 06:20:43 pm
Lemon:"I HAVE TO FART! WHO FARTED?"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: eldritchhat on August 10, 2018, 10:25:55 pm
Lemon:"I HAVE TO FART! WHO FARTED?"
izzy, August 10, 2018, 06:20:43 pm

Lemon: Hey man, I gotta fart like a mother fucker... TURN UP FOR FART
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Shell Game on August 13, 2018, 09:37:26 am
"I loved this recipe, but instead of ranch dressing I substituted my diiiiiiiiiiiiick."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: KingKalamari on August 14, 2018, 09:04:31 am
Lemon: I mean yeah, it's just...That's not how a chicken fight is supposed to go...
Bunnybread: No, it is when you're...fucked up...
Lemon: Oh, OH! You're right! God dammit! This many episodes and I've lost my perspective!

-From 166
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Yavuz on August 18, 2018, 09:39:07 pm
"Check out my taint zipper!" -Ep. 164
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Shell Game on August 20, 2018, 01:38:27 pm
"Tell about when you discovered... when you got your fetish. And I said when i was younger i dated a girl who had bad allergies and realized it turned me on, but it ultimately ruined our relationship." Boots, ep 2 confirmed sneeze fetishist
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Boots Raingear on August 20, 2018, 02:50:18 pm
Hey! I didn't get accepted in the community. I'm a failed sneeze fetishist!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Shell Game on August 20, 2018, 03:17:41 pm
good point. you're just really into that face people have when they almost sneeze

my apologies for misrepresenting
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Bobguinary Novel on August 20, 2018, 03:29:00 pm
Hey! I didn't get accepted in the community. I'm a failed sneeze fetishist!
Boots Raingear, August 20, 2018, 02:50:18 pm

So you're really into that terrible feeling when you really have to sneeze but nothing ever happens? The Rediculists have such specific fetishes!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Spooks on August 24, 2018, 07:15:41 pm
I love it when rappers make albums.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Because Fucking a Decapitated Sherman Tank Would Be Creepy on August 24, 2018, 09:15:35 pm
"Barns and Nobles is a hanky panky store!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Wrought on August 25, 2018, 08:13:29 am
Was teaching the phrase "see a doctor" in english class today and I kept almost cracking up remembering Jack Chick going "CONSULT A DOCTOR IMMEDIATELY" from the paganlore episode
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Sham bam bamina! on August 27, 2018, 06:36:54 am
"AS LEMON DRIES IN SALT AND AIR, I'M FREED FROM HARM AND ALL DESPAIR!"

"I'M ALSO HELL-BENT FOR LEATHER!!!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: cat_examiner on August 27, 2018, 07:23:00 pm
" I'm sorry, I'm just trying to help, and thats foolish"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Wrought on August 27, 2018, 09:31:39 pm
Jimmyfranks, about to read about terrible fetish shit: You know, Lemon, I just feel fantastic today! Nothing can get me down!
Lemon: I see, I see...Hey, Jimmyfranks, do you see that cloud floating over your head?
Jimmyfranks: Hey, flowers need rain, brother!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Wrought on August 31, 2018, 01:02:44 pm
There has never been a greater moment of F Plus desperation than during hour 20 of 24 Terrible Hours where Boots is desperately trying to get Montrith to shut up about the coffee chip slurry
Montrith, after narrating herself eating potato chip-iced coffee slurry for three minutes: Okay, I`m finished
Boots, very sarcastically: Oh, are you sure there aren`t some more in there?
Montrith: Okay, I will be perfect, I will have the tiny little remains that are still in my cup-
Boots: Okay no, STOP
Edit: god damnit the time stamps don't work with embedded videos. Uh...3 minutes and 13 seconds
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Wrought on August 31, 2018, 09:48:03 pm
Lemon: SAY IT LOUD! SAY IT CLEAR! BIGFOOTS ARE WELCOME HERE!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Sham bam bamina! on August 31, 2018, 10:54:27 pm
"What are your thoughts on penises, hmm?  IN YOU."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: boooo566 on September 03, 2018, 02:38:52 pm
Lastly, I have a tickling fetish.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Ragnarok Boobies on September 05, 2018, 12:46:28 pm
Ya! Oi! Lemon
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Sham bam bamina! on September 17, 2018, 12:58:22 pm
"These glasses give you a +3 to Hotness; I think you should keep them.  I'm rolling for orgasm already."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: SATAN MILKSHAKE on September 19, 2018, 04:44:11 pm
Lemon: Oh shit, Oberon Zell-Ravenheart has a Wikipedia page!
Isfahan: I wonder who wrote it?
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Wrought on September 26, 2018, 08:30:46 am
Bozarth: I am the real life version of Huell Howser, now that the real Huell Howser has ascended to the Howserplane.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Sham bam bamina! on September 28, 2018, 08:20:39 am
"Click here to bulb this section of the podcast."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Wrought on October 03, 2018, 05:37:36 pm
Jimmyfranks: "Perfection sounds fuckin' exhausting"...This guy's fuckin' exhausting!

Bunnybread: He's perfect!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Neal on October 06, 2018, 05:25:40 pm
"I will never cold lonely chicken after hearing that."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Sham bam bamina! on October 12, 2018, 05:26:37 pm
I have always found this exchange very troubling:

"Hi, I'm Bunnyboy!"

"Aw, you're cute!  I'm sure I won't hate you by the end of this post."

"I'm cute... and fuckable!"

"Oh, boner shrinking."

"Put it in my ass!"

"Oh, boner, boner gone."

WHY DID LEMON HAVE A BONER
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Wrought on October 12, 2018, 05:38:57 pm
I have always found this exchange very troubling:

"Hi, I'm Bunnyboy!"

"Aw, you're cute!  I'm sure I won't hate you by the end of this post."

"I'm cute... and fuckable!"

"Oh, boner shrinking."

"Put it in my ass!"

"Oh, boner, boner gone."

WHY DID LEMON HAVE A BONER
Sham bam bamina!, October 12, 2018, 05:26:37 pm
Boner is Lemon's default state of being
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: SATAN MILKSHAKE on October 12, 2018, 05:50:21 pm
I thought it was obvious, he heard "bunnyboy" and thought it was "bunnybread".
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Neal on October 13, 2018, 10:56:53 pm
"Most people elect to have a god that showers. But you went for Lemmy instead. Um. So that's- that's one option."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: eldritchhat on October 14, 2018, 07:34:19 pm
"Whatever happened, to freedom of speech?... IT'S NOW THE MASH!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Wrought on October 17, 2018, 07:54:12 am
Lemon: Bunnybread, you're a guy who likes to solve problems, right?
Bunnybread: Cause. Cause problems.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Liatai on October 22, 2018, 05:35:20 pm
speeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeed!

-STOG, episode 291, 17 min 36 sec
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Because Fucking a Decapitated Sherman Tank Would Be Creepy on October 26, 2018, 11:03:06 am
"He cuddled a man in Reno just to watch him snuggle."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: A Meat on October 27, 2018, 04:48:53 am
"Goofyfoot"
Frank West, choking back tears, episode 209
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Sham bam bamina! on October 27, 2018, 01:34:40 pm
"This Troper has caught flies before. Without looking!"

"This Troper has attracted flies before..."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Ambious on October 29, 2018, 04:56:29 pm
Merry Liftmas to All
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Nikaer Drekin on October 30, 2018, 06:30:33 pm
"We're freedom fighters, they're terrorists! hehehe"
-George W. Bush, 43rd President of the United States
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Sham bam bamina! on October 31, 2018, 05:00:50 pm
"Hey... you could die, buddy!  It's the twenty century!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: DetectiveSlowpoke on November 03, 2018, 12:35:25 pm
"Hey... you could die, buddy!  It's the twenty century!"
Sham bam bamina!, October 31, 2018, 05:00:50 pm

Excuse me, did you know death is lethal?
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Because Fucking a Decapitated Sherman Tank Would Be Creepy on November 06, 2018, 02:34:20 am
"You messed with the wrong moron!" -Adam Bozarth
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Shell Game on November 06, 2018, 07:23:57 pm
Everyone forgets about Frostmon. :(
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Sham bam bamina! on November 06, 2018, 10:39:14 pm
Everyone forgets about Frostmon. :(Shell Game, November 06, 2018, 07:23:57 pm
And Hazy Conspiracy.  :(
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Shigan on November 17, 2018, 04:35:31 pm
♩ James Horse ♩
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Mr. Hunky Academia on November 18, 2018, 05:09:38 am
"My god, Johnnys dick sounds like laser Floyd at the planetarium "
- JimmyFranks
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Lumbermouth on November 21, 2018, 07:02:16 am
“You look better than a Colorado doubloon! Excelsior!”

- Boots Raingear
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Wrought on November 21, 2018, 07:56:19 am
Lemon: Seaaattllle...I gueesssss!

Sherman Tank: FUCK THE GODDAMN SEAHAWKS
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: The Smoking Dad on November 21, 2018, 08:08:50 am
“I’ve heard if you go to prison for fucking a woman to death, you just get high-fives the whole way through”
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Lumbermouth on November 24, 2018, 08:21:10 pm
"Who's that grandmother mutilator?"

"I want to know more!"

"Does he have t-shirts? I want the t-shirt that says 'Fuckin Kill Grandma!'"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Spooks on November 30, 2018, 03:25:58 pm
This is the best... sniffle moment... of my entire... sniffle life.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: DetectiveSlowpoke on December 07, 2018, 02:00:41 am
That opener on the Portland podcast episode is great .

"That whisky won't be nice ever again! You did this to it!"- nutshell
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Shigan on December 08, 2018, 12:20:15 pm
Jimmyfranks: I was on top of Pikachu, letting him pound my ass, while I was giving Charmander the best BJ he's ever had, whennnnnn....
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Lumbermouth on December 08, 2018, 06:03:02 pm
MAN HAS THE PENIS
TO SATISFY THE WOMAN

MAN HAS THE PENIS
TO SATISFY THE WOMAN
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: eldritchhat on December 12, 2018, 01:57:13 pm
Jack Chick: You need to go see Brainscan
Lemon: They're prescribing that movie as therapy now?
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: LancashireMcGee on December 14, 2018, 05:59:41 pm
A diet of cheetos and pre-cum, at least until they make pre-cum flavored cheetos.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Boots Raingear on December 16, 2018, 09:24:41 pm
Me: If I go to an alternate universe and find my self and discover that my life is so much better there, can I kill myself and then take over my own life?

Isfahan (with a startling lack of delay): See, that's the first thing that I would do.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Sham bam bamina! on December 16, 2018, 11:17:25 pm
"It wouldn't even make a good bludgeon."

"...Jesus, Isfahan."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Lumbermouth on December 17, 2018, 05:46:34 pm
“I live with a sickness inside of me that the Internet numbs!”

Adam Bozarth, Oculus Cruft
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Ambious on December 20, 2018, 02:00:46 pm
"In a past life STOG wrote propaganda films"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: cat_examiner on December 21, 2018, 06:49:40 pm
"It's Friday night. Time to give myself an enema and listen to Warrant!"
Digital Walnut, May 20, 2015, 12:56:16 am
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Lumbermouth on December 30, 2018, 11:47:45 am
PENIS IS BLOOD
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: AgentCoop on December 30, 2018, 11:52:52 am
PENIS IS BLOOD
Lumbermouth, December 30, 2018, 11:47:45 am
DEADLY SINNERS
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: GirlKisser420 on January 04, 2019, 07:20:57 pm
Nutshell: PAX East. It's what you get
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Sham bam bamina! on January 07, 2019, 07:52:54 am
"That's when you engage in an RP in which a character, typically unrealistically endowed—"

"IT'S SO SMALL!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: chai tea latte on January 12, 2019, 08:39:24 am
#248

LEMON: Bunnybread,
BUNNYBREAD: No!
LEMON: I think we need a female presence on this podcast, finally, so, will you tell me about Syria?
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Lumbermouth on January 15, 2019, 08:56:40 am
"Since moving here I've learned to recognize you theiving delusional addicts. Don't think your fooling anyone with your oozing red faces, digging into your skin & talking to yourselves loudly bizarre behavior. I'd feel sorry for you except that you made a choice at some point to poison yourself and hurt the ones that love you. Pathetic. You'll be more likely to show up in a mugshot than a family photo. God help you for giving up all that is good for selfish self destruction."

"Thanks Earth Crisis!"

- Topix Not Worth Discussing
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Sham bam bamina! on January 15, 2019, 02:47:31 pm
"So, it says right there that these waivers are at the discretion of the employees."

"Ah, ah, but nowhere in the Code does it say, don't be a dick."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Spenny on January 15, 2019, 07:49:24 pm
"So, it says right there that these waivers are at the discretion of the employees."

"Ah, ah, but nowhere in the Code does it say, don't be a dick."
Sham bam bamina!, January 15, 2019, 02:47:31 pm

"You're like Homestar Runner but I hate you."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: MasterOfHope on January 20, 2019, 10:12:14 am
"Everything's fine, don't freak out. Everything's fine. Goddamn it! Son of a bitch! Ah, it's all over the floor. Goddamn it! Son of a bitch! Shit! Piss! Fuck!"
-Adam Bozarth, end stinger to episode 185
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Ambious on January 20, 2019, 11:30:14 am
Lemon: *laughing angrily*
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: MasterOfHope on January 22, 2019, 02:23:18 am
"nothing noteworthy happens in 2019"
Episode 199: Episode #799
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: GirlKisser420 on January 23, 2019, 03:56:39 pm
“And that’s how FuckGrinch got made”
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Sham bam bamina! on January 24, 2019, 11:36:30 am
(breaking down in tears) "I'm a fan of big... dicks..."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Shell Game on January 24, 2019, 03:04:39 pm
"Ahhh i love that green child!"
"Yes, give me the green child."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Ambious on January 30, 2019, 04:24:24 pm
STOG: "What's the deal with airline peanuts, are they full of women?"
Everyone: *dies*
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Wrought on February 12, 2019, 06:13:55 pm
STOG: I'm gonna go solve the mystery of why my PISS glows in the FUCKING DARK.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Wrought on February 13, 2019, 12:50:57 pm
Also STOG: Stand back everyone, I'm going to create a new parking space!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Wrought on February 22, 2019, 06:40:45 pm
Adam Bozarth: I've read your website and I'm not quite sure if you've answered these or not, but do you ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO SLEEP ALL DAY
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Ambious on February 28, 2019, 12:07:19 pm
Lemon: What's your favorite WAM song?
Jack Chick: Wake Me Up Before You Go Go
Boots: Careless Whisper
Lemon: Oooh, that's not "Wake me up before you Go Go", I didn't think of that.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Sham bam bamina! on March 03, 2019, 03:00:05 pm
(http://i.imgur.com/ustXsbL.png)

Hi hi hello.  Hi hi hello.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Sham bam bamina! on March 09, 2019, 08:03:52 pm
With dragon help,
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Hux on March 10, 2019, 12:56:57 am
"I AM ABOUT TO TEXT YOU A PICTURE OF MY BALLS. TEXT BACK TO OPT OUT AND NOT RECEIVE A PICTURE OF MY BALLS."
-lemon, episode 176
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Wrought on March 10, 2019, 08:11:33 am
"Hey guys it's me Jake the Bisexual, I, uh, I'm back from the bathroom, did anyone look at the frog girl's breasts yet?!"
-The Intern, ep. 295
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: A Meat on March 10, 2019, 08:32:01 am
Remove the top of my head for nourishment!
-STOG, episode 218
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Because Fucking a Decapitated Sherman Tank Would Be Creepy on March 10, 2019, 01:53:12 pm
Lemon: Uh, Nutshell...
Nutshell: Yep?
Lemon: Uh, you know I like you, right?
Nutshell: Yeah, I'm not reading that.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Ambious on March 10, 2019, 03:59:05 pm
Lemon: *defecates onto the microphone*
Jack Chick: Are those Anthrax lyrics?!
Lemon: Anthrax is a good band.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: blunge on March 10, 2019, 05:13:32 pm
Ep #298

Bunnybread: First day on the internet, pal?
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: eldritchhat on March 10, 2019, 07:28:26 pm
Lemon: "Red rover, red rover, let Kumquat come over"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: sambair on March 10, 2019, 08:03:18 pm
I'm no size queen, but I love your sex penis.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Yavuz on March 10, 2019, 09:21:33 pm
Lemon: Facts don't care about your shivers.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Shell Game on March 11, 2019, 02:08:23 pm
Love to electrocute people on the first date.
NutshellGulag
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: KingKalamari on March 11, 2019, 03:26:25 pm
"How have your lawyer fees been, lately?"
"Exorbitant"
"Throooough the ROOF!"
"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. Why is that, Adam"
"My roof fell down!"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Lemon on March 13, 2019, 02:43:04 pm
I have a cat who is a neko who is like a tiger, but it's more of a jaguar. It's like a jaguarundi but it's smaller. it's an ocelot and it's really cool.nikomaru
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: SATAN MILKSHAKE on March 13, 2019, 06:28:02 pm
Im looking for a pet, it must be neko (thats japanese for cat). It has to be spotted or striped and it has to be small (chibi) sized
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Shigan on March 15, 2019, 09:08:04 am
Lemon, casting an antivirus spell or some shit: From the modem shall come wonders, without line noise making blunders.
Jimmyfranks, wisely: This is an ancient text.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Yavuz on March 17, 2019, 04:29:53 pm
Jimmyfranks [nerd voice]: Magic missile! Magic missile!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: THE LESBIATHAN on March 17, 2019, 04:44:51 pm
Jimmyfranks [nerd voice]: Magic missile! Magic missile!
Yavuz, March 17, 2019, 04:29:53 pm

He's outta mana!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Ambious on March 17, 2019, 04:49:07 pm
"This is the only thing I can relate to, might as well put my dick in it"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Yavuz on March 17, 2019, 04:56:39 pm
STOG: Shut the fuck up, I'm cumming in my pants!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Shell Game on March 18, 2019, 01:55:44 pm
Lemon: BUT A DRAGON HID INSIDE ME!
Portaxx: Hello! It me! Rarr!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Hux on March 18, 2019, 03:06:45 pm
nutshell: i'm afraid that michael jackson from the thriller video is going to eat my face.
lemon: okay, okay...is that a reoccurring dream that you have?
nutshell: no.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: SATAN MILKSHAKE on March 22, 2019, 10:36:39 pm
Lemon: My suggestion is to substitute the oil with a stick of butter.
Frank West (reflexively, terrified): No!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Sham bam bamina! on March 26, 2019, 01:51:07 am
"Who would invest in a podcast?  Podcasts are inherently a failure, I mean a loss of money.  You don't, you don't make money- I mean even the successful podcasts aren't making money on podcasting."

"You know what?  I'll tell you who'll give me that money.  The Internet."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: KingKalamari on April 16, 2019, 10:44:13 am
"And, uh, PreparationH, what's in your signature?"
"Um, my signature is...One broken image file...A...text that says 'Come say that at The Gathering, see what hap-' OH I'M A JUGGALO!? OH GOOD!"

Perhaps the only time those last six words were said in that order without sarcasm...
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Lumbermouth on April 17, 2019, 12:20:22 pm
"And, uh, PreparationH, what's in your signature?"
"Um, my signature is...One broken image file...A...text that says 'Come say that at The Gathering, see what hap-' OH I'M A JUGGALO!? OH GOOD!"

Perhaps the only time those last six words were said in that order without sarcasm...
KingKalamari, April 16, 2019, 10:44:13 am

~seeeeecret Juuuuggggalllloooooo~
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: GirlKisser420 on April 20, 2019, 08:18:20 pm
Jack Chick: The idea of being in a gym locker with a teeny weeny is a hot idea
Bozarth: somebody read a book!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: SATAN MILKSHAKE on April 21, 2019, 08:36:19 pm
Jack Chick: The idea of being in a gym locker with a teeny weeny is a hot idea
Bozarth: somebody read a book!
GirlKisser420, April 20, 2019, 08:18:20 pm

Which episode was this from?
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: GirlKisser420 on April 21, 2019, 10:22:21 pm
Jack Chick: The idea of being in a gym locker with a teeny weeny is a hot idea
Bozarth: somebody read a book!
GirlKisser420, April 20, 2019, 08:18:20 pm

Which episode was this from?
SATAN MILKSHAKE, April 21, 2019, 08:36:19 pm

https://thefpl.us/episode/182 (https://thefpl.us/episode/182)
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Wrought on April 22, 2019, 04:03:14 pm
"Look around! If you want something that looks like it's human and barely acts like it's human, it's everybody!"
-Bozarth
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Wrought on April 22, 2019, 05:17:50 pm
"I went to the pet store with my knife! Hoo hoo hoo!" -STOG
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: krytton on April 24, 2019, 06:14:36 am
I CALL MY ASSHOLE A TRAITOR IF IT TRIES TO SHIT ON ME!
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Boots Raingear on April 29, 2019, 08:32:50 am
Andy Kadir-Buxton: "The length of the vagina (or rectum for that matter) is simply divided into thirds. And the thirds are contracted and relaxed in turn until orgasm is achieved"

Portaxx: "This is what we call the golden fellatio"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Carbon on May 01, 2019, 12:10:22 pm
"Oh, so this was all in your British accent."
[Southern drawl] "That's right."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Wrought on May 01, 2019, 04:30:14 pm
"HEY! KEEP IT DOWN OUT THERE, YOU'RE DRYIN' OUT MY MOM'S PUSSY!" -Lemon
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Sham bam bamina! on May 02, 2019, 02:41:36 pm
"People kleep thelling me thah the ploblem'th with my thongue.  Is ih my thongue?"

"Yeah, why don't you try putting the tongue in your mouth?"

"No."
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Carbon on May 03, 2019, 05:51:49 pm
I took the medicine and then I buttholed.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: KendrickLobstar on May 06, 2019, 09:29:25 pm
#252: It’s Always Cold in Chili’s

[guy enters Home Depot to pay a $29,000 bill in cash with no form of ID]

“Hi I’m a normal person and not a criminal, you don’t need to know who I am”
“I’m just paying with this briefcase of stacked $20 non-consecutive bills”
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: The Smoking Dad on May 08, 2019, 10:14:02 pm
Saying things like “sexual market value” is what brings down your sexual market value
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Neal on May 09, 2019, 12:31:26 am
"I feel like, thank you for calling me 'radical' but fuck you for calling me a 'bus'?"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: SATAN MILKSHAKE on May 09, 2019, 12:44:32 am
My brain is broken because a friend brought up some trouble he was having with a poorly-organized wake and all I could think of was "Is this one of those wakes I'm supposed to be at, or is it one I can skip?"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Neal on May 09, 2019, 12:48:43 am
"Do the cities poop?"
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Vinny Possum on May 09, 2019, 08:47:50 am
"Do the cities poop?"
Neal, May 09, 2019, 12:48:43 am

They have sex with themselves, so, probably.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Shell Game on May 16, 2019, 10:18:21 am
Boots: ...293 episodes ago.
Achilles Heelies: Was I alive yet?
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Shell Game on May 16, 2019, 01:47:26 pm
Double post.
Sheila I'm sorry for coming in my pants, my mother didn't breastfeed me.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Achilles' Heelies on May 16, 2019, 11:28:08 pm
Boots: ...293 episodes ago.
Achilles Heelies: Was I alive yet?
Shell Game, May 16, 2019, 10:18:21 am
I didn't exist until The F Plus summoned me from the aether, fully formed and ready to podcast.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Neal on May 17, 2019, 12:33:35 am
Boots: ...293 episodes ago.
Achilles Heelies: Was I alive yet?
Shell Game, May 16, 2019, 10:18:21 am
I didn't exist until The F Plus summoned me from the aether, fully formed and ready to podcast.
Achilles' Heelies, May 16, 2019, 11:28:08 pm

But the first harbinger of your appearance from beyond the veil was your contribution to episode 177, before you were ever on the podcast, and which Lemon needs to add to your bio.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Bobguinary Novel on May 17, 2019, 02:48:20 pm
Boots: ...293 episodes ago.
Achilles Heelies: Was I alive yet?
Shell Game, May 16, 2019, 10:18:21 am
I didn't exist until The F Plus summoned me from the aether, fully formed and ready to podcast.
Achilles' Heelies, May 16, 2019, 11:28:08 pm

But the first harbinger of your appearance from beyond the veil was your contribution to episode 177, before you were ever on the podcast, and which Lemon needs to add to your bio.
Neal, May 17, 2019, 12:33:35 am

Sorta like Athena springing to life fully formed from the head of Zeus, Achilles sprung fully formed from the cesspits of the internet.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Yavuz on May 19, 2019, 08:39:58 am
Tim is a flat circle.
John Toast
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: THE LESBIATHAN on May 19, 2019, 10:29:41 am
The Brave Lemon: Lesbiathan.

The Coward Frank West: Lesbiathon.
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Because Fucking a Decapitated Sherman Tank Would Be Creepy on May 21, 2019, 11:59:04 am
Wait, it's not Lesbiathen?
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: SATAN MILKSHAKE on May 21, 2019, 03:05:31 pm
Lesbiathan, rhymes with van
Title: F Plus Quotes Thread
Post by: Shell Game on May 21, 2019, 03:39:32 pm
The Coward Lemon: Lesbiathan.

The Brave Frank West: Lesbiathon.
THE LESBIATHAN, May 19, 2019, 10:29:41 am
Fixed.