Hi, I'm Lemon. I love riding my bike while drunk.

Now, I'm going to be honest with you: Originally I planned to write a long post explaining exactly how much fun it is to ride home while drunk. I was going to explain why I like it so much, and then go on to explain my particular methodology for a pleasurable drunk ride home (short answer: avoid cars, take the long way) and encourage you to do the same.

However, that plan has been compromised on account of me being drunk.

So instead, here's the pertinent details:

• Riding a bike while drunk is the best.
• No really, it's really good
• You should really do it if you can.
• Try to avoid busy streets.
• Ride a bike while drunk.
• I couldn't be clearer about this.
• Ride a bike drunk, like tonight. Or tomorrow.
• Okay good night.

It's amazing. One time I was riding home drunk from a party and I felt a truly Sublime energy connecting me to the bike, the breeze, and the sheer joy of physical activity. It is so damn good!

Don't worry, the fences are there to catch him

I had a drunk ride on a bike in my teens. I think I had that same feeling, because I took my feet off the pedals and let the wind rush over me. Then a mailbox appeared and slammed into my shin. I didn't feel it until the next morning but it left a giant gash that was painful for several weeks.

Anyway have fun! Be safe!

But like please don't if you are literally anywhere cars exist

"Alcohol was involved in 37% of all fatal bicyclist crashes in 2017"
Bicycle fatalities 2013-2017: "98% were in accidents with motor vehicles"