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Topic: Garbage Eats  (Read 282 times)

Achilles' Heelies

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Garbage Eats
We had a lovely Garbage Day, now it's time for a little bit of Garbage Food! Thanks again so much to TehPlayerTwo, ShameBoi69, and Turbo_Sexaphonic_Delight for their generous donations. Here is chance for all of you to enjoy their wonderful sammiches!
Frank West Boots Raingear Yavuz GirlKisser420 Bobguinary Novel Shell Game chai tea latte

Achilles' Heelies

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Garbage Eats #1
TehPlayerTwo Sammich
When I was just a little boy, growing up in the suburbs, my gam-gam would tell me about the old country. She would tell me of the rolling hills, the burbling brooks, and the games they would play in the back of her fatherís sewing shop. All the while, she would be baking the most delicious of delicacies, the same way her mother would. Whenever I catch the scent of bread in the air, I think of my gam-gam, and her Fatherís shop.

Unrelated to any of that, I invented this sammich! It is inspired by the experience of being Player Two while your neighbor who has the Xbox is hogging the good controller. This sammich evokes the feeling of struggling with the busted left thumb-stick on a Mad Catz controller while losing your tenth consecutive game of Mortal Kombat to your shithead neighbor. Fuck you, Bradley!

Here is what you need:
Wonder Bread
Old bologna
Cheez Whiz
Nacho Cheese Doritos
1 liter of Mountain Dew

Here is how you make it
1.   Steal the food from your neighborís pantry.
2.   Place a slice of Wonder Bread on a frisbee.
3.   Slam the bologna down on the Wonder Bread.
4.   Squirt a tower of Cheez Whiz on top of the bologna.
5.   Smash some Doritos with the Mad Catz controller. Sprinkle the shards on top of the Cheez Whiz Tower.
6.   Force a second slice of Wonder Bread over the Whiz Tower.
7.   Consume the sammich, and chug the Mountain Dew.
8.   Prepare for the coming storm inside of you.
Boots Raingear Yavuz GirlKisser420 Lemon Bobguinary Novel Shell Game chai tea latte

Achilles' Heelies

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Garbage Eats #2
ShameBoi69 Sammich
When I was just a wee lad, growing up in the countryside, my mee maw would tell me the most wonderful tales. She would tell me of the glorious days of her youth, working the land with her parents. Her story of her wonderful pet pig, Mortimer - who she later made into mouth-watering sausages - always brings tears to my eyes. When Iím in the kitchen, I often think of those simpler times.

In spite of that, I invented a bold, new sammich! The ShameBoi69 should bring you back to your most shameful moments. It should evoke that time at your mee mawís funeral where you got a boner, or when you pissed your pants during the third grade spelling bee. The sammich has the exquisite mouthfeel of the wedding cake that you smashed into while drunkenly fighting your uncle at your Momís third wedding. Bon appetit!

What you need:
A McDouble
A Whopper Jr.
1 slab of Ham
Mayonnaise

How you make it:
1.   Remove the bottom bun from the McDouble. Place directly on your counter, reserve the rest of the burger in a large popcorn bowl.
2.   Remove the top bun from the Whopper Jr. Place this next to the bottom bun on the counter, dump the rest into the large popcorn bowl.
3.   Take your ham. Slather it in mayonnaise, and place it on the bottom bun.
4.   Put the top bun on top of the ham.
5.   Dump the contents of the popcorn bowl into a blender. Blend until very smooth, and pour back into the popcorn bowl.
6.   Eat your ham sandwich, and dip it in the shame sauce inside the popcorn bowl.
7.   Think about what you have done.
Boots Raingear GirlKisser420 Lemon Bobguinary Novel Shell Game chai tea latte
« Last Edit: June 15, 2019, 12:38:22 pm by Achilles' Heelies »

Achilles' Heelies

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Garbage Eats #3
Turbo_Sexaphonic_Delight Sammich
Growing up in a cramped apartment in the big city, my Nana dazzled me with glorious stories of her youth. Rolling Tuscan hills, clear blue skies, and sweet, fresh air, it was like I was transported to a whole different world. When I smelled her cooking, I was there in her villa, helping her make the daily bread. When I tasted it, I was no longer in that dingy apartment, I was away on an adventure in the streets of Firenze!

All of that aside, I have invented a ground-breaking new sammich! The Turbo_Sexaphonic_Delight is inspired by my top ten smush sessions. While some have said that it left them a little unsatisfied and wanting just a little bit more, I can assure you that I have always enjoyed it! This romantic sammich is best shared with someone special, or whoever is available.

What you need:
Sourdough Bread
Canned Tuna
69 sauces (your choice)

How you make it:
1.   Place a slice of bread on a heart-shaped plate.
2.   With your finger, scoop the tuna out of the can onto the bread.
3.   Dump your 69 sauces on top of the tuna.
4.   Place another slice of bread on top of the mess.
5.   Dig in and enjoy this sweaty, sloppy sammich


Boots Raingear GirlKisser420 Lemon Bobguinary Novel Shell Game chai tea latte Turbo Sexaphonic Delight

KendrickLobstar

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Garbage Eats #4
TehPlayerTwo Sammich

Here is what you need:
Wonder Bread
Old bologna
Cheez Whiz
Nacho Cheese Doritos
1 liter of Mountain Dew
Achilles' Heelies, June 15, 2019, 12:29:08 pm

my favorite sandwich is a combination of wonder bread, yellow mustard, bologna, and nacho cheese Doritosó and folks, you gotta try it