Episode 96: HOCUS BOGUS!

[Chaz]

Acier and Montrith's awesomeness spell fight

This is like the magical equivalent of little kids playing cowboys and indians. "The powers that be verify that I have hit you with a killing spell!" "Nuh-uh, the powers that be totally gave me a shield against killing spells!" "But the powers that be gave me a killing spell that could pierce killing spell shields!" and so on.

[Delcat]

For the record, I'm pretty sure Verviridian City or however they spelled it is a misspelling of "vervain", a secondary name for the herb verbena.  I'd never heard of vampires being vulnerable to it before, though, so I looked it up with the expectation that some chucklefuck went "weeeeh werewolves have wolfbane we want a special snowflake flower tooooo".

In the series of young adult novels The Vampire Diaries, author L. J. Smith uses vervain to protect humans from vampires,[17] in an extension of vervain's fabled magic-suppression powers against witches. In The Struggle, Volume II, the vampire Stefan instructs the human Elena that vervain can "protect you against bewitchment, and it can keep your mind clear if vampire or an other supernatural that is using Powers against you."[18] He tells her how it is prepared and used, "Once I've extracted the oil from the seeds, you can rub it into your skin, or add it to a bath. And you can make the dried leaves into a sachet and carry it with you, or put it under your pillow at night", but gives her an unprepared sprig for protection in the meantime.[19]

I hate it when I'm right.  On the other hand, this nails down the age demographic pretty hard.

[fluffy]

Finally got around to listening to this last night. I was trying to follow along with the document but since things were out-of-order this time it was a little tough.  I was a bit disappointed with how the "get 90-100% on any exam" spell didn't end up in the podcast but I'm guessing the jokes were a bit too obvious, what with how the spell was basically just "study the damn material, and here's some placebos to make you think you'll do better."

But yeah I loved the love spell and the disappearing steak. Definite highlights of the episode.

[mr3]

Oh man, all powers from up and down gimme some food...my kind of spell.  Ok, I'm totally into the wizard life now so I've got my own spell.

How to Make a Magic Wand Spell Spell

You will need the following items for this spell:
- glass of water
- one of your hands (or both for double magic)
- a screwdriver

Casting Instructions for 'How to Make a Magic Wand Spell Spell':
1. Be at home, alone.
2. Go to wherever your breaker panel is.  Search for a strange metal (usually dark grey) square on one of your walls (check garage if present) with a little black handle.  Pull the handle.  Verify that all of the switches inside are pointed toward the center of the panel.  That means they're on.  That's good.
3. Take your glass of water into the kitchen.
4. Concentrate. Then whisper 'true magic has no color' at the water. That makes it magic wand water.
5. Place at least 5 of your fingers in the glass.  Make sure they're all very wet (soak them for at least 60 minutes, repeating the magic whisper).
6. Locate a kitchen wall socket that does not have a cute little button in the middle like some of them have (the button is a ward against magic).
7. Reach inside (IMPORTANT: use the hand(s) you just soaked in the magical water). If you reach far enough, you should begin to feel a long rod.  This is your magic wand. If you don't feel it at first, reach deeper. Once you do, pull hard on it until it is magically released.

Sometimes this doesn't work. If it doesn't then repeat all steps, replacing magic hand(s) with magic tongue. Soaked in magic water first of course, 60 minutes.

Got a second one for conjuring unlimited wishes too, it only needs two items.  Oh by the way don't feed your sex angel, even in the daytime.