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December 11, 2018, 12:47:21 pm

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Topic: Lady Thread 2: Girlectric Boogaloo  (Read 7351 times)

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Lady Thread 2: Girlectric Boogaloo
« Reply #30 on: July 21, 2017, 05:01:34 pm »
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Lady Thread 2: Girlectric Boogaloo
« Reply #31 on: July 21, 2017, 07:28:49 pm »
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Lady Thread 2: Girlectric Boogaloo
« Reply #32 on: July 23, 2017, 04:32:31 pm »
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Lady Thread 2: Girlectric Boogaloo
« Reply #33 on: November 12, 2017, 07:25:42 pm »
I was going to post this in terrible D&D stories, but I figured the ladies in the thread might have advice. This dude keeps hitting on me at every session and it's the most uncomfortable thing and I could not make it any more apparent I'm not interested. Also I'm not used to this attention, I have no idea how to handle this.

We talked privately before, and he said that he's awkward and a little forward, and he didn't mean anything by it. And that he noticed I was uncomfortable at a fourth of July party, and "Do you hate me?"

So that's super uncomfortable, and I said I didn't hate him, and I'm just not used to anyone being interested. I didn't say exactly "I'm not interested, I just want to be friends", so I guess that's the next step?

Seriously, I'm completely dense as hell when it comes to flirting, so I only notice when it's pretty intense.

Wat do?

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Lady Thread 2: Girlectric Boogaloo
« Reply #34 on: November 12, 2017, 11:13:34 pm »
I was going to post this in terrible D&D stories, but I figured the ladies in the thread might have advice. This dude keeps hitting on me at every session and it's the most uncomfortable thing and I could not make it any more apparent I'm not interested. Also I'm not used to this attention, I have no idea how to handle this.

We talked privately before, and he said that he's awkward and a little forward, and he didn't mean anything by it. And that he noticed I was uncomfortable at a fourth of July party, and "Do you hate me?"

So that's super uncomfortable, and I said I didn't hate him, and I'm just not used to anyone being interested. I didn't say exactly "I'm not interested, I just want to be friends", so I guess that's the next step?

Seriously, I'm completely dense as hell when it comes to flirting, so I only notice when it's pretty intense.

Wat do?
you rebuffed his advances and he continued to make them. Even if you're both awkward and bad at firting, that's a bad look.

I would advise you not to use words like 'just' when speaking to him. He doesn't care about your agency (and if he did, he'd stop hitting on you, because you have made clear to him and everyone else that it makes you uncomfortable), so tell him firmly and straightly something like 'Stop doing this. I dont want it, it makes me angry, and I will leave this D&D group the next time you do'. Any response from him that isn't 'okay, I hear you loud and clear' is insufficient.

The 'do you hate me?' thing is such typical sad nerd shit I can't feel anything but a little pity for the guy. He can't conceive of different levels of social familiarity, and it sounds like prime Geek Social Fallacy 2 (Friends Accept Me As I Am), which is a disease of the nerdy brain. Tell him that if he doesn't mean anything by it, it's got to stop, and if he's secretly in love with you that has to stop also.

You aren't flirting. You're being harrassed at a place you go to relax, and it's making the experience worse for you. If the GM isn't an even worse grognard, they will be on your side in this issue. Nerd Creep is 100% responsible for destabilizing the playgroup. My condolences, and good luck.

(PS: I, personally, will not play games with anyone I wouldn't also hang out with. It's a simple rule that's saved me some grief.)
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Lady Thread 2: Girlectric Boogaloo
« Reply #35 on: November 14, 2017, 03:00:23 am »
Excellent advice

I'm going to second this post and also strongly second talking to the GM. It's possible that other people in the group are also uncomfortable with the way this dude has been acting.

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Lady Thread 2: Girlectric Boogaloo
« Reply #36 on: November 14, 2017, 07:47:28 am »
Thanks Chai for the great advice! I've got a few days to work up the courage to tell him off straight.

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Lady Thread 2: Girlectric Boogaloo
« Reply #37 on: November 17, 2017, 01:22:49 am »
Thanks Chai for the great advice! I've got a few days to work up the courage to tell him off straight.

You could get a spray bottle. And spray him every time he crossed your boundaries.

"No Steve."
 **Hss**
 "No."

Also on a more serious note, standing up for yourself feels great. You'll feel good. Make sure not to apologize for being bothered by him! You can do it :)
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Lady Thread 2: Girlectric Boogaloo
« Reply #38 on: November 22, 2017, 12:29:07 pm »
I don't know where else to bitch about this, but I got an IUD in last week, and I've been super hormonal, cramping and spotting ever since.

I know that's supposed to be normal for the first month or so, but those were the symptoms I got the IUD put in to take care of.

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Lady Thread 2: Girlectric Boogaloo
« Reply #39 on: November 30, 2017, 08:30:26 pm »
I don't know where else to bitch about this, but I got an IUD in last week, and I've been super hormonal, cramping and spotting ever since.

I know that's supposed to be normal for the first month or so, but those were the symptoms I got the IUD put in to take care of.

Do IUDs hurt a lot? I had a friend who had it and said it was awful and got rid of it as soon as she could, but I'm kinda looking for alternative birth control. I had the implant for a while, but I kept getting so paranoid that it would break in my arm that I had it taken out again. It was really awesome that it pretty much took away my period, but the anxiety just wasn't worth it. I've been wondering if an IUD would be any better, because I really liked that it took away the PMS along with the period.

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Lady Thread 2: Girlectric Boogaloo
« Reply #40 on: December 01, 2017, 09:32:37 am »
I don't know where else to bitch about this, but I got an IUD in last week, and I've been super hormonal, cramping and spotting ever since.

I know that's supposed to be normal for the first month or so, but those were the symptoms I got the IUD put in to take care of.

Do IUDs hurt a lot? I had a friend who had it and said it was awful and got rid of it as soon as she could, but I'm kinda looking for alternative birth control. I had the implant for a while, but I kept getting so paranoid that it would break in my arm that I had it taken out again. It was really awesome that it pretty much took away my period, but the anxiety just wasn't worth it. I've been wondering if an IUD would be any better, because I really liked that it took away the PMS along with the period.

Have you looked into the Nuvaring? Its a lot easier than the pills and I think has less overall hormones.

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Lady Thread 2: Girlectric Boogaloo
« Reply #41 on: December 01, 2017, 10:30:21 pm »
I haven't! If it's less hormones, does it effect the PMS at all? That's the biggest reason I'm wanting to go back to using birth control. My anti-depressants work wonders on my moods EXCEPT right before my period.

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Lady Thread 2: Girlectric Boogaloo
« Reply #42 on: December 06, 2017, 11:25:21 am »
I haven't! If it's less hormones, does it effect the PMS at all? That's the biggest reason I'm wanting to go back to using birth control. My anti-depressants work wonders on my moods EXCEPT right before my period.

Oh jeez I have no idea. All this stuff affects different ladies differently anyway.

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Lady Thread 2: Girlectric Boogaloo
« Reply #43 on: December 06, 2017, 08:30:12 pm »

Oh jeez I have no idea. All this stuff affects different ladies differently anyway.

God that's true. My friend had the implant in for a while too, and it was hell for her, while it was the best thing that ever happened to me.

I'm planning on bringing it up with my doctor next time I see her, but it helps to weigh my options by hearing other people's experiences. Like, I know they always have side effect lists, but it puts it more into perspective to get a variety of people's experiences.

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Lady Thread 2: Girlectric Boogaloo
« Reply #44 on: February 05, 2018, 12:58:14 pm »
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