Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
October 23, 2019, 07:03:03 pm

ballp.it is the community forum for The F Plus.

You're only seeing part of the forum conversation. To see more, register for an account. This will give you read-only access to nearly all the forums.

Topic: Help Us Write The Trapezoid Kids Script  (Read 8358 times)

Nifty Nif

  • Big Dumb Slimy Monster
  • Paid
  • powerful and can be dangreous
  • 814
  • 51
Do either of you want a close reading with comments on your script?  I'd be happy to do that.  I'm not a genius writer, so you'll have to take my comments with a heap of salt.  I am thorough and I do consider myself an exceedingly good proofreader.
Nifty Nif, May 30, 2016, 06:25:28 pm

Yes, if you were to do that I would appreciate it.
Zekka, May 30, 2016, 06:33:09 pm

On it!  Will return comments in via PM.  Stay tuned!
Nifty Nif, May 30, 2016, 06:39:16 pm

By all means, I'd be glad to have feedback as well!
Nikaer Drekin, May 30, 2016, 07:11:07 pm

Sure thing!  Do you have a raw format I could work with?  I won't manipulate your text, but it'll be easier for me to leave comments side-by-side.  If not, I think I can leave comments on the PDF with Google Drive.
« Last Edit: May 30, 2016, 07:52:31 pm by Nifty Nif »

Zekka

  • I AM IN INTO MATHEMATICAL CALCULATIONS AND MANY METHODS USED IN THE STOCK MARKET
  • Paid
    • 813
    • 55
Nif made major valid revisions to my draft: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1IzCFr-IbCDk0SDlnC_KE2TSdosXuCd_L3HYtfgss6Xk/edit?pref=2&pli=1 .

I'm currently working on a second draft that should circumvent some of these problems.

E: Here's a slightly newer draft of a script that corrects some of those problems: http://lpaste.net/raw/8992496396275810304 . Estimated runtime is 5:15, so -- uh, edit fast?

E2: Made minor grammar edits and delivery edits to that version of the script. Pagliacci's monologue is longer.
« Last Edit: May 31, 2016, 10:28:56 pm by Zekka »

Nifty Nif

  • Big Dumb Slimy Monster
  • Paid
  • powerful and can be dangreous
  • 814
  • 51
I am happy to read more scripts, and if anyone has a work in progress, I actually won't have time to get to any more until the weekend, and Zekka's second draft is first in my queue.  Send me a PM if you have anything you'd like me to read, and I'll get to it on Sunday at the earliest.  In essence: no rush!

AlbieQuirky

  • Paid
    • 108
    • 15
Help Us Write The Trapezoid Kids Script #33
What's the status on this right now? Is there a timeframe for finishing the script? I would be happy to cast another pair of eyes on it.

One Of The Crappy Pokemon That Nobody Likes

  • President of the Kick TenNapel's Nuts Club
  • Ridiculist
  • RARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARR
    • 1,201
    • 328
Help Us Write The Trapezoid Kids Script #34
What's the status on this right now? Is there a timeframe for finishing the script? I would be happy to cast another pair of eyes on it.
AlbieQuirky, June 07, 2016, 12:40:09 am

I probably won't be able to actually start animating it until next month, which was an unfortunately inevitable delay. However, this also means you all have some extra time to make it even wor--err, better!
Nifty Nif AlbieQuirky

Nifty Nif

  • Big Dumb Slimy Monster
  • Paid
  • powerful and can be dangreous
  • 814
  • 51
Help Us Write The Trapezoid Kids Script #35
What's the status on this right now? Is there a timeframe for finishing the script? I would be happy to cast another pair of eyes on it.
AlbieQuirky, June 07, 2016, 12:40:09 am

I was going to edit Zekka's second draft but I still haven't gotten around to it.  You should look at it!
We still have 2 scripts with distinct plots and no others have been offered.

Shell Game

  • Showrunner of Extra Credit
  • Paid
  • Crab crab crab crab crab crab crab crab crab crab
  • 2,715
  • 159
Help Us Write The Trapezoid Kids Script #36
Wow. This was actually something in the works? What happened that caused it to just... Stop?

GirlKisser420

  • Its time for limpboys to have their day in the sun
  • Paid
  • technically a journalist
  • 2,492
  • 134
Help Us Write The Trapezoid Kids Script #37
It's a lot of work for little reward, I guess.

Shell Game

  • Showrunner of Extra Credit
  • Paid
  • Crab crab crab crab crab crab crab crab crab crab
  • 2,715
  • 159
Help Us Write The Trapezoid Kids Script #38
Yeah, that makes perfect sense. It just looked like it ground to a halt very, very abruptly.

But I guess one does have to consider they're putting more effort into something than the "creator" did. Well... I dunno. God Dozerfleet is weird. So much effort but in all the places that produce nothing.

One Of The Crappy Pokemon That Nobody Likes

  • President of the Kick TenNapel's Nuts Club
  • Ridiculist
  • RARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARR
    • 1,201
    • 328
Help Us Write The Trapezoid Kids Script #39
Yeah, that makes perfect sense. It just looked like it ground to a halt very, very abruptly.

But I guess one does have to consider they're putting more effort into something than the "creator" did. Well... I dunno. God Dozerfleet is weird. So much effort but in all the places that produce nothing.
Shell Game, July 13, 2017, 09:51:37 pm

I'm still down for it but my main stumbling block is that it's very hard to improve on the original. I know that sounds like a cornball joke but for me that's seriously what happened here. I mean sure, you could turn it into a circa 1990s Newgrounds Flash cartoon... but that still doesn't quite capture the nonsense of the initial concept and there are a lot of genuinely bad internet cartoons out there anyway. If there's some way to highlight the crazy without devolving into "hi I'm being ironic but it's so bad that you can't even tell" then I'm all ears! It just turned out to be a more difficult project to flesh out than I originally anticipated.

Shell Game

  • Showrunner of Extra Credit
  • Paid
  • Crab crab crab crab crab crab crab crab crab crab
  • 2,715
  • 159
Help Us Write The Trapezoid Kids Script #40
Yeah, I have no idea where one would even begin. Adapting a creation of such a mind as the Dozerfleet founder's sounds like a daunting task from the onset.

Amelia Blank

  • Giant Woman
  • Paid
  • Secretly seven cats in a human-shaped bag
  • 166
  • 20
Help Us Write The Trapezoid Kids Script #41
I dunno. I think maybe making the Stationery Voyager intro with like live action pens and quick cutting, like Kablam style, would be fun. <3 <3
adrenochrome dome

SHAMBA~1.SBB

  • whimpering with horniness
  • Paid
  • ƨtupid cat
    • 872
    • -69
Help Us Write The Trapezoid Kids Script #42
I'm still down for it but my main stumbling block is that it's very hard to improve on the original. I know that sounds like a cornball joke but for me that's seriously what happened here. I mean sure, you could turn it into a circa 1990s Newgrounds Flash cartoon... but that still doesn't quite capture the nonsense of the initial concept and there are a lot of genuinely bad internet cartoons out there anyway. If there's some way to highlight the crazy without devolving into "hi I'm being ironic but it's so bad that you can't even tell" then I'm all ears! It just turned out to be a more difficult project to flesh out than I originally anticipated.One Of The Crappy Pokemon That Nobody Likes, July 13, 2017, 10:03:15 pm
The obvious solution is to offer your animation services directly to The Dozerfleet Founder himself.
Shell Game AlrightPerson