Workplace power moves

[Emperor Jack Chick]

Keep a framed picture of yourself on your desk. - bonus points if your name is on the frame or in the picture.
Hang up a "Bless this mess" sign near where your group sits.

[Vinny Possum]

Piss on things to mark your territory

[Shell Game]

Bug pins. On display. Frequently admired.

[krytton]

hold out your hand like a fuckin terminator laser beam at the card reader so it can read your implanted employee rfid chip and watch your coworkers marvel at your H A C K E R   A R M

[A Meat]

Arrive early, so you can berate coworkers for not loving their job as much as you do

[AgentCoop]

Bring in your own Maxwell House and say you "just like the flavor better"

[Boots Raingear]

Place a cardboard cutout of yourself in your chair every time you leave your desk.

[Shell Game]

Place a cardboard cutout of yourself in your chair every time you leave your desk.

[Victor Laszlo]

If someone makes a mistake and you can't immediately locate them, just start yelling at the nearest person in case they don't already know not to fuck with you.

[Ragnarok Boobies]

Have a Word a Day calendar that’s full of blank pages so when someone comes by and asks why you did something you can respond with, “I am at a total loss for words.”

[Macho Masc Sangy Savage]

Browse ballp.it on company time

[Macho Masc Sangy Savage]

- Heat up the door handles with an electric starter
- Blow feathers on coworkers with a fan
- Hang an iron up on a pulley to drop on coworkers
- Rig a blowtorch to a door
- Put cardboard cutouts of people on a train set to roll past the windows
- Release a tarantula

Here at Wet Bandits Inc., we are facing a bit of a downturn do to children infestations.

[Ramona Chingona]

Start a Webex session for meetings where everyone's in the same room,  because "I think we'll want to record this one."

[GirlKisser420]

stealing

[Bunnybread]

Fucking your boss...

during her lunch break....

and then taking a lunch break of your own afterwards