F Plus Live in London: The Gauntlet
As a prelude to the readings, the ridiculists compete in a series of events to determine which of them is The Most British.
Round 1: Exhaust Huffing
Ridiculists spin a wheel depicting different types of automobile. Each ridiculist is then given a gas mask connected to a hose leading to the exhaust pipe of their randomly determined vehicle. Points are earned for the length of time a ridiculist lasts before passing out.
Round 2: Wedgie Royale
All ridiculists are put into a locked room with speakers running a loop of high schoolers performing Monty Python's Dead Parrot Sketch. Each time a ridiculist performs a wedgie on another, they gain 10 points and the victim loses 5. The doors only unlock and the speakers shut down when one ridiculist manages to earn a net gain of 50 points.
Round 3: Chip Butty
Everyone has to eat a chip butty. No points are awarded. Nobody wins.
Round 4: Garbage Sitting
Each ridiculist climbs into a garbage bag which is tied and loaded into a bin; the bins are then left in a field. Ridiculists are allowed to tear their way out of the bag and climb out of the bin at any time, but the longer they stay in, the more points they earn.
Round 5: Accents
Ridiculists must go onto the street and try to converse with a random stranger using only their British accent. The longer a ridiculist can keep the stranger from walking away, the more points they earn.
At the conclusion of all five rounds, the ridiculist with the highest point total becomes next in line for the throne.
(Edit: Second place gets a lifetime supply of Heinz Baked Beans.)
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« Last Edit: September 12, 2019, 11:12:23 am by Neal »