I love that bananas story, it's so dumb. I wish the twist was that it was some jerk coworker coming over, spritzing the bananas with a concentrated ethylene solution and running away
p.s.: if you don't want your bananas all to ripen quickly, don't put them in a small closed space like a safe, and keep them away from your apples and pairs, because bananas release a decent amount of ethylene and apples and pears are very sensitive