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October 24, 2020, 08:29:23 pm

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Topic: Just an update on things!  (Read 1313 times)

STOG

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Just an update on things!
Hi! Hello. How are you? Hope you’re doing well, despite it all.

Today is the week of my 34th birthday, and I am giving everyone the gift of closing up a loose thread. Some of you have been wondering, “Where did STOG go? Where is STOG?” Some of you have been saying this on cue, every four hours, just to keep my name in the minds of every household, and I thank you for your dedication. But I’m here to tell you STOG is no more.

I will no longer be appearing on The F Plus. It’s been a good run and I’m happy the show has been going on this long (and a lot of that has been courtesy of you all, with your support, thank you so much). But I’m not in a good place at the moment, and I am devoting my time to recovering.

I do have to emphasize that I’m not doing a bit. I do a lot of bits, bits that only I consider funny and that other people don’t, but comedy is subjective, unless it’s bad. I am still leaving the podcast. This is not a bit.

You’re probably wondering why! Here’s why:

Being suddenly let go from my job because of the COVID-19 pandemic bought me a lot of time to kill in quarantine. So, I decided to get off my ass and start seeing a psychotherapist. At the same time, I also started looking up memory and focus clinics, because I had talked previously with Sanguinary Novel earlier this year over some memory lapses I was having. I suspected ADHD, but I didn’t want to just go off some symptoms I was having, a medical professional’s opinion was needed here. But in the end, I’m glad I did. I don’t have ADHD. I’m just so depressed that I thought I actually did have it.

It took four months to get this done, but I got the test results back. Specifically, I have a high Beta-wave marker in the right front lobe of my brain that has been wrecking my shit for the last thirty three years of my life. I have been diagnosed with a particularly awful General Anxiety Disorder, Major Depressive Disorder, and Autistic Spectrum Disorder (more specifically, what used to be Asperger’s).

The first two haven’t been really much of a surprise, I’ve always had this low mood, and the feeling that my anxiety paints my worldview as a cheap B-movie slasher (and not even a good one) since as far back as I could remember, but I didn’t see the Autistic Spectrum Disorder coming. But I keep reading the assessment I got from the clinic, and it makes sense. I have answers for why I am now, and they are either anticipatory anxiety or stubborn autism. I just genuinely didn’t think I was autistic or even depressed, and my answers lined up with other people’s reactions to who I am: “oh, it’s just STOG”. I’ve decided it’s time for me stop wallowing in my depression and make changes for the better, and ending my involvement in this podcast is one of those changes.

But this is partially why I’m quitting the podcast. In the process of figuring all of this out, I got my job back, but now I’m to wake up at 5AM to be ready for work. F Plus meetings happen at 9 (or later, if Lemon needs people to fill in), and episode recordings generally start a half-hour after that. Getting the episode done, getting the audio file to Lemon, then finally getting to bed means I’m up until midnight or later. You might be saying “It’s only three hours and some change of sleep you’re going to lose”, but I have to lift 100lb boxes of paper for a living, sometimes from a height of two stories high, and I don’t want to accidentally injure myself over a podcast that I’m on every two months or so. It’s bad enough that I have to deal with this brain chemistry.

Finally, I’m just not into the scope of the format that the podcast does anymore. Forum bullshit and rants on Amazon don’t excite me anymore, my thing now is willing new freaks into existence with the power of Heaven’s Lathe, seeing food review freaks getting excited over processed food prepared by underpaid workers, watching big dumb guys try to chug beer and fail spectacularly at it on Youtube. I’ve been getting into SOV horror and obscure ‘80s action movies with a horror game developer on weekends. I do bike rides late at night through darkened forests and tunnels while blasting metal into the darkness from my portable speaker. I made some really good cabbage and cauliflower soup the other day. I haven’t listened to an episode of this podcast in over a year, it’s been superseded by my other interests. Not to mention my attitude towards Lord Brighton Wetveal the Third’s ‘Why I Should Be Allowed To Fuck Rarity The Pony’ is just like “all right, whatever”.

I don’t know whether this will truly be a goodbye. Maybe I’ll be back. Cirith Ungol came back this year, 29 years after their last album in 1991, to pull off one of the greatest heavy metal comebacks I’ve ever had the pleasure of listening to. So if 60 year old men can still rock, anything’s possible.

Thank you all for getting something out of my high-Beta brainwave emissions.

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GirlKisser420

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Just an update on things! #1
Thanks for letting us know, hope you do good out there.
NutshellGulag

Agent Coop Time!

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Just an update on things! #2
Rest easy Stog
NutshellGulag

Antivehicular

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Just an update on things! #3
Take care and best of luck!
NutshellGulag

eldritchhat

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Just an update on things! #4
STOG, I just wanna say, I have always thought of you as one of the most funny and creative people that I've had the pleasure to know. While It's sad to hear that you're leaving the podcast, I understand your reasons, and I wish you the best of luck in whatever direction you choose for yourself. Even outside of the podcast, the chances I've had to talk to you and chill with you during a stream, I really appreciated them. I know that you've had an important impact on my life, both as an artist and as a human being, and I'm sure that there are many people that can say the same.

I hope that I will get the chance to speak with you again in the future, because I know you have insights and a perspective that is truly unique, but you owe yourself more than fretting over a few strangers on the internet.

So long space cowboy.
Dr. Buttplug chai tea latte Puppy Time GirlKisser420 NutshellGulag

Secret Gaygent 69

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Just an update on things! #5
Thanks for all you've contributed to the F Plus. I wish you well on your future endeavors.
NutshellGulag

chai tea latte

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Just an update on things! #6
Take care, king. I'm sure we all wish you nothing but success and recovery.
NutshellGulag

Frank West

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Just an update on things! #7
When I spend time with funny people, especially people who are really unique in their humor, I tend to take little bits of their style and use them myself. I say that to try and make this next line seem less corny: I'm genuinely more funny and interesting for having met you.

I'm glad you're living your best life, even though I'm bummed we're not a part of it. Be well, and if you ever need a guy to do a stupid thing with, hit me up.
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sea hag

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Just an update on things! #8
I'm excited to hear that you've gotten a diagnosis and are on the road to healing. It seems like it's going to take you great places!

Thanks, STOG.
Puppy Time NutshellGulag

Wrought

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Just an update on things! #9
I'm sure I can speak for everyone when I say we all want only the best for you. You've left your mark on this community and entertained so many people in doing so in a way they could never forget (not even if they wanted to).

Thanks, STOG.
Dr. Buttplug NutshellGulag

Deep 13

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Just an update on things! #10
I'm just a random F Plus fan who mostly lurks around here, but I wanna say you've brought years of laughter to me, and genuinely helped me cheer up on many occasions with your humor on this podcast. You are doing the right thing, making choices that will be healthier for you and doing what you enjoy, but I just wanted to thank you, earnestly, for your contributions to this podcast and the world in general.

Thanks, STOG! You are awesome! I know your name doesn't rhyme with Thank you, but THANK YOU anyway!
Immoral Filth NutshellGulag NuclearTeapot

Boots Raingear

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Just an update on things! #11
I'd like to offer the most genuine "Thanks Stog" that I've ever given. So glad you're doing what you need to make you the best you that you can be. We'll be around for you whenever you need us.
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Adam Bozarth

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Just an update on things! #12
I will always approve of choosing mental health over podcast recordings. I hope that our paths cross again in the future, STOG. You've brought me so much joy.
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Kumquatxop

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Just an update on things! #13
STOG: in some number of years, when you're rich and famous because your 'underground frozen TV dinner eating competition league' guerilla reporting Twitch livezine blew up and you're a sponsored esport or whatever, I hope you remember us merry band of idiots fondly.

In all seriousness, it has been one of the sincerest pleasures I have known, to yell with you into the void and every once in a while to conspire about yelling in person (with or without music backing).  Do what brings you net positive happiness in life -- I will be rooting for you.


I do bike rides late at night through darkened forests and tunnels while blasting metal into the darkness from my portable speaker.
STOG, September 30, 2020, 05:14:59 am
Keep on ridin dirty, my friend.
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Lemon

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Just an update on things! #14
 I'm glad I know ya, STOG. Be well, whatever it looks like for you.
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