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Topic: In the eyes of the law, you are a boat.  (Read 8843 times)

Cheapskate

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In the eyes of the law, you are a boat.
The Sui Juris Club submission was rejected, probably because it's a bit technical, but if you're a fan of conspiracy nuts, you should check it out.

These are postings from a Sovereign Citizen message board. SCs believe that the lawful government of all countries stopped existing in the 1930s or so, when all governments were replaced by corporations, all people were replaced by boats, and through correct use of magic words, you can dispel the power of these fake institutions.

In the document, you'll find:

- Why traffic tickets are treason, and hearings on speeding cases are akin to the Nuremburg Trials
- How to achieve "Child of God" status
- Why you aren't a "human being"
- Why you don't have a name, or, alternately, whether you should copyright it
- Why you should never exercise your right to remain silent
- Why judges are priests of Saturn

Runic

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In the eyes of the law, you are a boat. #1
Oh God yes, I love Soverign Citizen bullshit.  I can see why it wouldn't make for good F+ material, but it is about as crazy as they come.

Moriarty

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In the eyes of the law, you are a boat. #2
- Why traffic tickets are treason, and hearings on speeding cases are akin to the Nuremburg Trials
Cheapskate, May 30, 2013, 09:27:07 am

Because people who speed are Nazis?

Goose Goose Honk At Me Now

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In the eyes of the law, you are a boat. #3
- Why traffic tickets are treason, and hearings on speeding cases are akin to the Nuremburg Trials
Cheapskate, May 30, 2013, 09:27:07 am

Because people who speed are Nazis?
Moriarty, May 30, 2013, 12:17:19 pm

ZERE ISS NO DRIVING UNTER ZE SPEED LIMIT IN GERMANY. YOU ARE BANNED.
Psammetichus

Alpha Starsquatch

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In the eyes of the law, you are a boat. #4
You're autobahn-ed!

Womp womp womp.
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Lemon

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In the eyes of the law, you are a boat. #5
- Why traffic tickets are treason, and hearings on speeding cases are akin to the Nuremburg Trials
Cheapskate, May 30, 2013, 09:27:07 am
But if you were only following orders, you'd stay under the speed limit.

nilvoid

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In the eyes of the law, you are a boat. #6
This reminds me of one of the most bizarre Sovereign Citizen guys I've learned about, David Wynn Miller.

Miller lived in Ohio before moving to Milwaukee, Wisconsin. He describes himself as a "Plenipotentiary-Judge", an ambassador, banker, postmaster, King of Hawaii, and a genius with an IQ of 200. He has told audiences at his seminars that in 1975 he died from surgical complications and was not resuscitated for 35 minutes. He says he was awake for eight consecutive years following the incident and has not aged since that time.

Miller claims that he has invented what he calls the Mathematical Interface for Language or Quantum-Math-Communications and Language or Correct-Language. According to Miller, his language is "for the stopping-claims of the Theft, Cheating, Fraud, Slavery and War." Miller's language involves sentences that begin with prepositional phrases, using the word For. His sentences are at least thirteen words long, and have many more nouns than verbs. According to Miller, only nouns have legal authority. The language also has an abundance of punctuation. [...]

According to Miller, the addition of hyphens and colons to one's name turns the person from an ordinary, taxable human into a non-taxable “prepositional phrase." The names as written in this way are distinguished from the names listed at birth in all capital letters (as on a birth certificate). Miller claims that the use of the names as shown on a birth certificate turns the individual into a taxable Person (Corporation). (e.g., DAVID WYNN MILLER as opposed to :David-Wynn: Miller.).”

That's interesting and all, but let's hear about it from the horse's mouth:

~1 FOR THIS FEDERAL-JUDGE: David-Wynn: Miller's-KNOWLEDGE OF THESE CORRECT-SENTENCE-STRUCTURES-COMMUNICATION-PARSE-SYNTAX-GRAMMAR=(C.-S.-S.-C.-P.-S.-G.) IS WITH THE CLAIMS BY THE QUANTUM-PARSE-SYNTAX-GRAMMAR-NOW-TIME-WRITTEN-COMMUNICATION-FACTS WITH THE DOCUMENT-CONTRACT-DUTY-FEDERAL-JUDGE-AUTHORITY: TITLE~42: D.-C.-C.-S.-~1986 WITH THE KNOWLEDGE OF THE FRAUDULENT-PARSE-SYNTAX-GRAMMAR-MODIFICATIONS AND WITH THE CONTRACTING-AUTHORITY OF THE STOPPING AND: CORRECTING OF THE FALSE AND MISLEADING-STATEMENTS, FICTIONAL-LANGUAGE, WITH AN AUTOGRAPH-CONFESSION OF THE PERSONAL-WRONG-VOLITION WITH THE QUANTUM-GRAMMAR-OPERATIONAL-CERTIFICATION-FRONTWARDS AND BACKWARDS WITH THE CERTIFICATION OF THE KNOWLEDGE AND WITH THE VOLITION OF THE CONSPIRACY WITH THE GRAMMAR-FRAUD. FOR THE LYING-TOGETHER OR WITH THE LAYING-TOGETHER.

I think that clears it up for me, how about you guys?

Cheapskate

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In the eyes of the law, you are a boat. #7
This reminds me of one of the most bizarre Sovereign Citizen guys I've learned about, David Wynn Miller.

Miller lived in Ohio before moving to Milwaukee, Wisconsin. He describes himself as a "Plenipotentiary-Judge", an ambassador, banker, postmaster, King of Hawaii, and a genius with an IQ of 200. He has told audiences at his seminars that in 1975 he died from surgical complications and was not resuscitated for 35 minutes. He says he was awake for eight consecutive years following the incident and has not aged since that time.

Miller claims that he has invented what he calls the Mathematical Interface for Language or Quantum-Math-Communications and Language or Correct-Language. According to Miller, his language is "for the stopping-claims of the Theft, Cheating, Fraud, Slavery and War." Miller's language involves sentences that begin with prepositional phrases, using the word For. His sentences are at least thirteen words long, and have many more nouns than verbs. According to Miller, only nouns have legal authority. The language also has an abundance of punctuation. [...]

According to Miller, the addition of hyphens and colons to one's name turns the person from an ordinary, taxable human into a non-taxable “prepositional phrase." The names as written in this way are distinguished from the names listed at birth in all capital letters (as on a birth certificate). Miller claims that the use of the names as shown on a birth certificate turns the individual into a taxable Person (Corporation). (e.g., DAVID WYNN MILLER as opposed to :David-Wynn: Miller.).”

That's interesting and all, but let's hear about it from the horse's mouth:

~1 FOR THIS FEDERAL-JUDGE: David-Wynn: Miller's-KNOWLEDGE OF THESE CORRECT-SENTENCE-STRUCTURES-COMMUNICATION-PARSE-SYNTAX-GRAMMAR=(C.-S.-S.-C.-P.-S.-G.) IS WITH THE CLAIMS BY THE QUANTUM-PARSE-SYNTAX-GRAMMAR-NOW-TIME-WRITTEN-COMMUNICATION-FACTS WITH THE DOCUMENT-CONTRACT-DUTY-FEDERAL-JUDGE-AUTHORITY: TITLE~42: D.-C.-C.-S.-~1986 WITH THE KNOWLEDGE OF THE FRAUDULENT-PARSE-SYNTAX-GRAMMAR-MODIFICATIONS AND WITH THE CONTRACTING-AUTHORITY OF THE STOPPING AND: CORRECTING OF THE FALSE AND MISLEADING-STATEMENTS, FICTIONAL-LANGUAGE, WITH AN AUTOGRAPH-CONFESSION OF THE PERSONAL-WRONG-VOLITION WITH THE QUANTUM-GRAMMAR-OPERATIONAL-CERTIFICATION-FRONTWARDS AND BACKWARDS WITH THE CERTIFICATION OF THE KNOWLEDGE AND WITH THE VOLITION OF THE CONSPIRACY WITH THE GRAMMAR-FRAUD. FOR THE LYING-TOGETHER OR WITH THE LAYING-TOGETHER.

I think that clears it up for me, how about you guys?
nilvoid, May 30, 2013, 06:41:44 pm

Lots of sovereign citizens are Colon Guys. They'll call themselves John-Jacob-Jingleheimer: Schmidt, and claim that anything addressed to "JOHN JACOB JINGLEHEIMER SCHMIDT" refers to someone else entirely. (Which is why I always write pleadings in mixed case, just to piss them off.)

That may also be why they're starting the Republic for the united States of America. By joining a simple conference call, you, too, can restore the Constitution to what they intended in 1776!*

*The Constitution was actually written in 1789, but that's not important right now.

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In the eyes of the law, you are a boat. #8
Some people also aren't sure fi david wynn miller is drinking his own kool-aid (he basically started the sc movement as-it-is-topday) or just profiting off of the gullibility of vulnerable people.

In case, you know, you liked the dude to start with.

toanoradian

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In the eyes of the law, you are a boat. #9
Sovereign Citizens are known in courts as OPCA or 'Organized Pseudolegal Commercial Argument'. If you want to read a court document (albeit a very readable one) about the various arguments, gurus and formal legal rebuttals against these legally delusional arguments, you should read this document. It's from a Canadian judge.

It is even more hilarious because even those OPCAniacs uses American laws. In Canada.
Acierocolotl Runic

Acierocolotl

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Sovereign Citizens are known in courts as OPCA or 'Organized Pseudolegal Commercial Argument'. If you want to read a court document (albeit a very readable one) about the various arguments, gurus and formal legal rebuttals against these legally delusional arguments, you should read this document. It's from a Canadian judge.

It is even more hilarious because even those OPCAniacs uses American laws. In Canada.
toanoradian, May 31, 2013, 04:11:12 am

[heart]

What did I learn today? 
for example the American action movie actor Wesley Snipes adopted OPCA techniques in an attempt to defeat his income tax obligations: United State v. Wesley Trent Snipes et al., No. 5:06-cr-00022-WTH-GRJ-1 (U.S.D.C. M.D. Fl., February 1, 2008).

What did Wesley Snipes learn?

Snipes presently is serving a three year prison sentence for income tax evasion.

Acierocolotl

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[heart][heart][heart][heart][heart]

I would describe how these documents have the intended effect, except that the A4V documentary material I have reviewed has never made any sense, so I can only observe the ‘ingredients’ and describe the intended ‘spell effect’

Never have I read a judgement this snarky.  I love this man.

Cheapskate

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The snarkiest judges are U.S. federal judges. Because they're appointed for life, they can do stuff like this:

Greetings and Salutations!
You are invited to a kindergarten party on THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 1, 2011 at 10:00 a.m. in Courtroom 2 of the United States Courthouse, 200 W. Eighth Street, Austin, Texas.
The party will feature many exciting and informative lessons, including:

• How to telephone and communicate with a lawyer
• How to enter into reasonable agreements about deposition dates
• How to limit depositions to reasonable subject matter
• Why it is neither cute nor clever to attempt to quash a subpoena for technical failures of service when notice is reasonably given; and
• An advanced seminar on not wasting the time of a busy federal judge and his staff because you are unable to practice law at the level of a first year law student.

Invitation to this exclusive event is not RSVP. Please remember to bring a sack lunch! The United States Marshals have beds available if necessary, so you may wish to bring a toothbrush in case the party runs late.

Or this:


[T]he Court notes that this case involves two extremely likable lawyers, who have together delivered some of the most amateurish pleadings ever to cross the hallowed causeway into Galveston, an effort which leads the Court to surmise but one plausible explanation. Both attorneys have obviously entered into a secret pact—complete with hats, handshakes and cryptic words—to draft their pleadings entirely in crayon on the back sides of gravy-stained paper place mats, in the hope that the Court would be so charmed by their child-like efforts that their utter dearth of legal authorities in their briefing would go unnoticed.

Whatever actually occurred, the Court is now faced with the daunting task of deciphering their submissions. With Big Chief tablet readied, thick black pencil in hand, and a devil-may-care laugh in the face of death, life on the razor’s edge sense of exhilaration, the Court begins.

…Despite the continued shortcomings of Plaintiff’s supplemental submission, the Court commends Plaintiff for his vastly improved choice of crayon—Brick Red is much easier on the eyes than Goldenrod, and stands out much better amidst the mustard splotched about Plaintiff’s briefing. But at the end of the day, even if you put a calico dress on it and call it Florence, a pig is still a pig. Now, alas, the Court must return to grownup land.

…After this remarkably long walk on a short legal pier, having received no useful guidance whatever from either party, the Court has endeavored, primarily based upon its affection for both counsel, but also out of its own sense of morbid curiosity, to resolve what it perceived to be the legal issue presented. Despite the waste of perfectly good crayon seen in both parties’ briefing … the Court believes it has satisfactorily resolved this matter.

Or this;

For the Q-Ray Ionized Bracelet, by contrast, all statements about how the product works—Q-Rays, ioniza- tion, enhancing the flow of bio-energy, and the like—are blather. Defendants might as well have said: “Beneficent creatures from the 17th Dimension use this bracelet as a beacon to locate people who need pain relief, and whisk them off to their homeworld every night to provide help in ways unknown to our science.”

Or this.

In this appeal we are asked to determine whether ".82" is the equivalent of "82%." Having successfully completed grammar school, we are able to answer in the affirmative.

…(B)ooks intended for scholars in and below the eighth grade do deal with just this question. On page 87 of their treatise entitled Growth in Arithmetic (Revised Edition, Grade Eight) (World Book Co., Yonkers-On Hudson: 1956), John R. Clark and Rolland R. Smith ask the pertinent question: "Do you know how to change a per cent to a decimal?" Assuming a negative response, the authors set forth certain examples of equivalency:

After inviting the students to study these equivalencies carefully, the authors announce this principle:

To change a per cent to a decimal, omit the per cent sign and move the decimal point two places to the left.

The authors then ask their readers to "Study these examples and see if you can make up a rule for changing decimals to per cents." The examples given are:

.06 = 6%

.075 = 7.5% = 7 1/2%

.0325 = 3.25% = 3 1/4%

.125 = 12 1/2% = 12.5%

And then the authors set forth this principle:

To change a decimal to a per cent, move the decimal point two places to the right, and write the per cent sign after the number.

And so, with this rule in mind, any eighth grader can tell that .82165 = 82.165% (the decimal has been moved two places to the right, and a per cent sign placed after the number).
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Runic

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In the eyes of the law, you are a boat. #13
Seriously, this is some good shit.  I know it wouldn't translate well into an episode, but I can only thank you guys for digging it up.  These people are fucking crazy.

Their problem, I think, is that they think laws are magic.  Rather than laws being meaningful because of our common consent to abide by them, they think that laws work like a magic spell and if you don't cast it just right the spell fails and you don't go to jail.  But that's not how laws work.  That has never been how laws work.

PurpleXVI

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In the eyes of the law, you are a boat. #14
Seriously, this is some good shit.  I know it wouldn't translate well into an episode, but I can only thank you guys for digging it up.  These people are fucking crazy.

Their problem, I think, is that they think laws are magic.  Rather than laws being meaningful because of our common consent to abide by them, they think that laws work like a magic spell and if you don't cast it just right the spell fails and you don't go to jail.  But that's not how laws work.  That has never been how laws work.
Runic, June 01, 2013, 12:12:38 pm

Well, sort of, sometimes some people do get off scot-free because The Man fucked up a bit of procedural wizardry, and there genuinely are some things that pass or do not pass entirely by literal nitpicking of the specific letter of the law, not everything's got wiggle-room to let the spirit of the law succeed every time.