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Topic: Movies We've Seen Recently  (Read 486396 times)

Turtle

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Movies We've Seen Recently #780
Joe (2013)
Director: David Gordon Green
Starring: Nicolas Cage, Tye Sheridan, Gary Poulter
An unintended throughline here, Cage again plays an ex-con in Joe. A story of poverty set in rural Texas, this is a portrait of three men: Joe (Cage), an emotionally distant but ultimately kind working man with serious anger issues; Gary (Sheridan), a young man trying to support his family and free them from the abuse of Wade (Poulter), his lazy, violent, alcoholic father. The story itself isn't complex, isn't breaking any new ground - Joe sees in Gary a version of himself, a hard working young man struggling against abusive authority, and takes on the role of adoptive parent to make sure Gary doesn't follow his own footsteps. What really drives this movie is the focus on the performances and they are all terrific, gripping, at times uncomfortable to watch. I hadn't heard of this movie before watching it, it's won awards but it slid under my radar. I didn't know what to expect going in, but what a reward. I highly recommend this movie.

Kill Chain (2019)
Director: Ken Sanzel
Stars: Nicolas Cage, Anabelle Acosta, Enrico Colantoni
This is an amazon streaming distribution. This should mostly tell you what you need to know, but what the heck, I got time. The owner of a desolate Columbian hotel (Cage) is accosted in the night and buys himself some time by telling them the story of how he came to be in possession of the place. The story is pretty broad - bad people doing bad things, bad people becoming good people on account of all the bad things they've seen, revenge, consequences, you get it. This movie is fine. Decent? Standard. Competent. The worst thing a movie can be is boring and this movie manages to hit just north of there. It's got a few good individual scenes and a lot of pretty blank overall narrative. I can't recommend it, you shouldn't go out of your way for this one, but I'm not mad I watched it.

Grand Isle (2019)
Director: Stephen S. Campanelli
Stars: Nicolas Cage, KaDee Strickland, Luke Benward
Tense. Clumsy. This is like 60% good and the other 60% is bad. Buddy (Benward) is a struggling young ex military father trying to make ends meet. He gets a job to fix a section of fence for Walter (Cage) with a bonus for fixing it before a hurricane sweeps in. Walter is a fucking lunatic. The fence is broken from a burglary that turned into Walter locking his front door and shooting this man in the back. Do not trust this man. The hurricane rolls in and Buddy is stuck in this house waiting out the storm. The good part of this movie is the front half, it is genuinely uncomfortable as you're watching this everyman deal with a murderous alcoholic and his seductress wife (Strickland) who is attempting to tempt him directly in front of her belligerent husband. It really falls apart in the back half when it needs to start paying off. It's so predictable and yet also, at times when it should be predictable, it is sometimes worse? Like you expect it to pull a turn, and then it doesn't do that at all, and it's not like it does something better, it just does nothing. The nicest thing I can say about this movie is that Cage plays a wonderful antagonist. He's positively menacing. Wish the script was better. Kelsey Grammar is here in a small role as a Louisiana sheriff, he's decent enough at it but it's really a character actor kind of role.

Primal (2019)
Director: Nick Powell
Stars: Nicolas Cage, Famke Janssen, Kevin Durand
Would you believe that I'm not picking the order of these? I wouldn't. The last three movies came out nearly in the order that I've ended up watching them. Frank Walsh (Cage) is a Poacher Wildlife Acquisition Specialist on his way to deliver his latest shipment of exotic animals, including a rare white jaguar. Simultaneously, the CIA has its own dangerous beast aboard the ship: A wanted assassin (Durand) being sent back to America to face justice for his crimes. This may surprise you, but the assassin breaks free and is seeking to take control of the ship and escape. The writer has seen good movies but they clearly don't know what makes them good because this movie is bland as hell, from the plot to the characters, all terrible. It's trying to do kind of a reluctant anti-hero thing with Walsh but it can't pull it off and making him very obviously, from the first scene of the movie, a wildlife poacher is a bad fucking start. Janssen's character especially is just kind of insultingly bad and pretty deeply misogynist. This is a bad movie, don't watch it. There's a scene where Nic Cage shoots an arrow through a man's shoulder and it's just like half way through on each side, that's pretty good.
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Turtle

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Movies We've Seen Recently #781
Dream Scenario (2023)
Director: Kristoffer Borgli
Stars: Lily Bird, Nicolas Cage, Julianne Nicholson
Paul Matthews (Cage) is an ordinary, boring, insecure, college professor. A father of two teenage girls, one day his youngest (Bird) tells him of a dream she's been having where despite her imminent danger, he stands around and does nothing. This bothers him, but it bothers him even more so when a colleague has a similar dream - and then his students, and then, it seems, everyone else. He begins appearing in the dreams of people worldwide and is swept up in a bizarre form of fame and later, infamy. I really enjoyed this movie. It reminds me, non-derivatively, of Charlie Kaufman's work. A real surprise, highly recommend it.

Racing With the Moon (1984)
Director: Richard Benjamin
Stars: Sean Penn, Elizabeth McGovern, Nicolas Cage
A coming-of-age story set in 1942, Hopper (Penn) and Nicky (Cage) have been drafted and are facing their last few weeks in town before shipping off. Hopper pursues love with a local rich girl in what's a pretty standard wrong-side-of-the-tracks romcom with a bit of a twist. The story takes a turn for the dramatic with Nicky - his girlfriend is pregnant and he needs money for an abortion. The story is a bit meandering at points and in the moment the transition from romance to drama felt stiff but it's generally good for what it is. Penn is the lead while Cage is taking more of a support role as an energetic, charismatic, irresponsible teen and he's a lot of fun in it. Not to mention, young Cage here is a real hunk.

Seeking Justice (2011)
Director: Roger Donaldson
Stars: Nicolas Cage, January Jones, Guy Pearce
One night while Will Gerard (Cage) is playing chess with a coworker, his wife Laura (Jones) is violently assaulted and raped. In the hospital lobby, distraught, he's approached by a man (Pearce) who claims to represent a group of like-minded men who can help him. They know who did it, they know where he is, and if given the signal, will Seek Justice, since the underfunded and corrupt System can't. He initially declines but eventually takes them up on their offer, entangling himself in an underground ring of vigilantes who ask him to take increasingly extreme actions as he desperately tries to cut ties and return to a normal life. As far as the movie goes, this is a straight crime thriller. It's the kind of movie that's neither good nor bad enough to be worth watching. It doesn't help that the backdrop of all of this is The Society of Men Whose Wives Were Raped and how that made them feel. This movie is deeply misogynist. Laura exists first to get hurt and then to be threatened, it's rare she has a scene in this movie where violence has not occurred or is impending.

Red Rock West (1993)
Director: John Dahl
Stars: Nicolas Cage, Dennis Hopper, Lara Flynn Boyle
Now this is a Flick. Michael (Cage) has driven from Texas to Wyoming for a job he doesn't get on account of his bum leg and his honesty. Looking for work elsewhere, he finds himself mistaken for a hired killer, takes the cash, and warns the target. What ensues is a midwestern themed noir featuring Dennis Hopper as the actual hitman and Lara Flynn Boyle as the dame with more going on than it seems and they are both going full tilt. Cage really takes a back seat. I wouldn't call it a favorite but it's got a lot going for it, it's a good ride. Dennis Hopper wears a fantastic cartoonish black texas suit. Seriously, look it up, he picked it himself!
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Turtle

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Movies We've Seen Recently #782
City of Angels (1998)
Director: Brad Silberling
Starring: Nicolas Cage, Meg Ryan, Andre Braugher
Full disclosure, I was dreading this one, didn't expect to enjoy it. It was not at all the movie I expected it to be. Do not be fooled by the presence of Meg Ryan, do not be fooled by the poster, do not be fooled by anyone's attempts to lie to you and tag Romance on this movie, it is not. Seth (Cage) is an angel roaming Earth. Angels, in this movie's mythology, are teleporting ghosts that can read minds and escort the dead to the afterlife. Dr. Maggie Rice (Ryan) is a surgeon. She loses a patient on the operating table and has a crisis of confidence and purpose. This parallels Seth's developing crisis; he wants to feel like humans do, taste like humans can. He emphathises with her and begins to befriend stalk her. Seth comes off as a creep at best and a threat by any fair standard but this is presumably where the romance happens. I buy that Seth falls in love here as he explores what it would be like to be human, but she really just movies her way into being in love with this guy. In either case that's not even the focus of the plot, it turns out, because the real point of the movie here is her other patient, Nathaniel Messinger (Dennis Franz). In the hospital because of his gluttonous eating habits, he reveals to Seth that he himself was once an Angel who chose to become human, to love and to eat and to feel. This is the real thesis of the movie, what it is to be human, what it is to live life. Love is a part of that, but it's so hard to say that romance is. I've got stronger feelings about Dennis Franz in this movie than anyone else. I watched Wild At Heart later that night, now that's a fucking romance.

Sympathy for the Devil (2023)
Director: Yuval Adler
Starring: Nicolas Cage, Joel Kinnaman, Alexis Zollicoffer
This is the year of defining different granularities of mediocre. In this volume of mediocre movie you don't need to spend your time on, we have a low budget thriller with a plot that is transparent and a milquetoast protagonist. What elevates this over something like a Seeking Justice or a Pay The Ghost is that this movie is 90% just Nicolas Cage being an unhinged criminal. Now, this is not for the casual Cage fan, you need to really appreciate the variety of his work and his approach to acting as an artform. If, and only if, you have let that permeate you can you pull entertainment out of this mercifully short 1h30 movie. Nothing against her as an actress but it's kind of astounding IMDB saw fit to put Alexis Zollicoffer as a "star" of this movie, she's in maybe 6 minutes of it. To be fair, that does make her, by volume, the third largest presence in the movie. Synopsis: Dad man (Kinnaman) is driving to the hospital because his wife is delivering a baby. When he gets there he is hijacked by a man in a ridiculous red lounge suit and red hair (Cage) who demands that he drive him out of town. The main plot here doesn't matter is told by Cage mostly via menacing. He believes the man is someone he insists he's not, someone who has a much seedier past than he will admit. Menacing, murders, fires, car chases, you know the deal. The ending of this review sucks in homage to the ending of the movie.

Matchstick Men (2003)
Director: Ridley Scott
Starring: Nicolas Cage, Alison Lohman, Sam Rockwell
This is one of those movie titles that I know for a movie I'd never seen and never heard anyone talk about. It's great! Cage plays a veteran con artist confronted with a daughter (Allison Lohman) he never knew he had. He struggles with the responsibility of being a parent, the joy that it brings him, the negative influence of his chosen profession, and just the fundamental social interaction of being genuine with someone. Sam Rockwell's character is grating but tolerable, it really shows the movie's age. Didn't much care for the ending. It was maybe one step too twisty for my tastes. It was already a good interesting story on route to a dramatic but satisfying conclusion, didn't need the extra pepper. Otherwise I had a good time with this one both as a movie and for Cage's dynamic performances.

Vampire's Kiss (1988)
Director: Robert Bierman
Starring: Nicolas Cage, Maria Conchita Alonso, Jennifer Beals
All time movie. Peter Loew (Cage) is a new york publishing executive with, through fault of his own, and not realizing it, an unfulfilling romantic life. After a chance encounter with a bat in the throes of passion, he comes to believe that he's turning into a vampire. His existing relationship falls apart as he falls into the thrall of the bat, now revealed as an erotic vampire (Beals). By day, he harasses one of the company's secretaries, Alva (Alonso), berating her, chasing her, goading her into trying to kill him. With the shield of irony, these sequences are read as comedic, but they're genuinely menacing. You'll often see discussion of this movie across the board centered around Cage's over the top performance, and to be sure, he reaches in every direction here, but I'd recommend you watch it leaving that shield at the door. It's fun, for sure, but you're robbing yourself if you don't meet it.
vaMpiresoftWare RoeCocoa chai tea latte
« Last Edit: February 06, 2025, 07:28:16 pm by Turtle »

vaMpiresoftWare

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Movies We've Seen Recently #783
Vampire's Kiss (1988)
Director: Robert Bierman
Starring: Nicolas Cage, Maria Conchita Alonso, Jennifer Beals
All time movie. Peter Loew (Cage) is a new york publishing executive with, through fault of his own, and not realizing it, an unfulfilling romantic life. After a chance encounter with a bat in the throes of passion, he comes to believe that he's turning into a vampire. His existing relationship falls apart as he falls into the thrall of the bat, now revealed as an erotic vampire (Beals). By day, he harasses one of the company's secretaries, Alva (Alonso), berating her, chasing her, goading her into trying to kill him. With the shield of irony, these sequences are read as comedic, but they're genuinely menacing. You'll often see discussion of this movie across the board centered around Cage's over the top performance, and to be sure, he reaches in every direction here, but I'd recommend you watch it leaving that shield at the door. It's fun, for sure, but you're robbing yourself if you don't meet it.
Turtle, February 06, 2025, 07:13:23 pm

I figured you would hit this one eventually! I saw this a few years back during my own mini Cage marathon and I totally agree it is a much more interesting movie than the memes would have you think. Cage channels Max Schreck's performance in the original Nosferatu throughout to great effect really enhancing the ambiguity. It has a lot of parallels with American Psycho.
Dr. Buttplug chai tea latte

xX_sp00ks_Xx

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Movies We've Seen Recently #784

from https://archive.junkee.com/babe-pig-in-the-city/299986

I encourage you to read the full review, it's idiotic. I watched "Babe: Pig In The City" like 3 months ago and I can probably tell you far more about it than this drooling dullard could ever muster. I will proceed to completely spoil the movie now.

"Babe: Pig In The City" is a movie about the alienation inherent in city life. See? I've already begun to explain it, it's not that hard. Jesus Christ. Babe's "mom" gets fingerblasted at the airport to show off the arbitrary cruelty of law enforcement. The dog officer sells her out for food, he's slopping it down happily as the farmer lady gets her pussy slopped up off-camera, it doesn't get more obvious than that. They arrive at a city that's every city in the world simultaneously, to show you the complete disintegration of order, the nauseating mobility of modern civilization, where all the world's architectural landmarks are piled together as in a museum. Babe getting shopped off to the old clown is an almost cliché metaphor for showbiz exploiting youth and Thelonius the orangutan's scene where he cannot proceed with the escape (the thing that is going to save his life) without first getting dressed in human clothes is an obvious show of the prelapsarian innocent who's been spoiled by a whole life of living among urbanites, to where he's taken on their ways. He doesn't need fucking clothes, he's an ape!!! It's Garden of Eden shit!

The movie has a sucky, rushed ending but it's oftentimes very beautifully shot, so I forgive it. The fact that the narrator ends the movie by saying Babe's farm aims to remain "somewhere on the left side of the 20th century" should really tie the knot for even the most mentally challenged eight year old but grown-ass 'junkees' like mister Fuckface Nobody over there couldn't give a singing rat's ass about putting in even that amount of mental effort into watching a movie LITERALLY MADE FOR A CHILD AUDIENCE. Fuck it.

There, was that so hard?

Dr. Buttplug

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Movies We've Seen Recently #785

from https://archive.junkee.com/babe-pig-in-the-city/299986

I encourage you to read the full review, it's idiotic. I watched "Babe: Pig In The City" like 3 months ago and I can probably tell you far more about it than this drooling dullard could ever muster. I will proceed to completely spoil the movie now.

"Babe: Pig In The City" is a movie about the alienation inherent in city life. See? I've already begun to explain it, it's not that hard. Jesus Christ. Babe's "mom" gets fingerblasted at the airport to show off the arbitrary cruelty of law enforcement. The dog officer sells her out for food, he's slopping it down happily as the farmer lady gets her pussy slopped up off-camera, it doesn't get more obvious than that. They arrive at a city that's every city in the world simultaneously, to show you the complete disintegration of order, the nauseating mobility of modern civilization, where all the world's architectural landmarks are piled together as in a museum. Babe getting shopped off to the old clown is an almost cliché metaphor for showbiz exploiting youth and Thelonius the orangutan's scene where he cannot proceed with the escape (the thing that is going to save his life) without first getting dressed in human clothes is an obvious show of the prelapsarian innocent who's been spoiled by a whole life of living among urbanites, to where he's taken on their ways. He doesn't need fucking clothes, he's an ape!!! It's Garden of Eden shit!

The movie has a sucky, rushed ending but it's oftentimes very beautifully shot, so I forgive it. The fact that the narrator ends the movie by saying Babe's farm aims to remain "somewhere on the left side of the 20th century" should really tie the knot for even the most mentally challenged eight year old but grown-ass 'junkees' like mister Fuckface Nobody over there couldn't give a singing rat's ass about putting in even that amount of mental effort into watching a movie LITERALLY MADE FOR A CHILD AUDIENCE. Fuck it.

There, was that so hard?
xX_sp00ks_Xx, March 06, 2025, 07:13:56 am
I usually appreciate your dark sense of humor Mr. Walker, but why did we have to spend the first paragraph discussing the imagined sexual assault of an elderly woman?

Turtle

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Movies We've Seen Recently #786
Captain Corelli's Mandolin (2001)
Director: John Madden
Starring: Nicolas Cage, Penelope Cruz, John Hurt
Set in the WWII occupation of a small town in Greece, the titular Captain Correli (Cage) is an Italian Artillery Officer with a love of the opera and a distaste for war. He seeks a peaceful coexistence with the town he's in charge of occupying, engaging in a romance with the daughter (Cruz) of the local doctor. When the Italians surrender, however, the Germans seek to aggressively reoccupy the town and he's forced to defend it. Look, maybe in 2001 people were willing to accept a story like this. A story with a pacifist axis officer, an awkward shy german officer who wants to join in the festivities of the occupied town, a story where that officer, in the middle of the reoccupation, drives off and cries about it. I'm not in the mood for it. There was one bright spot in my experience of watching this movie and an eagle-eyed reader may have caught it already. This movie is directed by John Madden. No, it's not the same John Madden. But someone in the imdb trivia thinks it is, linking to the page for the football legend. Incredible.

Zandalee (1991)
Director: Sam Pillsbury
Starring: Nicolas Cage, Erika Anderson, Judge Reinhold
Set in New Orleans, Thierry Martin (Reinhold) is an effete businessman, a former poet, dealing poorly with the corporate takeover of his family's business when he reunites, by chance, with an old friend, Johnny. Johnny (Cage) is a ball of grease, dirt made flesh. He is a soul patch with a soul patch. The movie would have us believe he is desirable. Thierry's wife, Zandalee (Anderson) is emotionally and sexually frustrated with him and falls into an affair with the passionately artistic and dangerous Johnny. This is the kind of affair that a romance novel will call erotic, destructive, passionate - which is to say, it's largely sexual assault. Thierry is grappling with multiple forms of impotence as his personal and professional lives collapse and he's growing more and more suspicious of his wife's affair. Nothing good happens to the people in this movie and the script does a pretty poor job of framing its thesis. A few things to note on the way out - first, this movie is stacked with talent. Aside from the cast already mentioned, it also features Joe Pantoliano in a prominent role as Zandalee's gay coworker, Marisa Tomei as Johnny's girlfriend, and Steve Buscemi as a completely superfluous comic relief garbage truck worker. Second, search up the dance scene between Cage and Reinhold. It's this tense aggressive waltz, an embodiment of their love triangle, as they dance on the docks of the bayou to a Chere Tout Tout.

Next (2007)
Director: Lee Tamahori
Starring: Nicolas Cage, Julianne Moore, Jessica Biel
Cris Johnson (Cage) has limited precognitive powers which he uses to eke out a living as a Vegas magician and cheating at small stakes gambling to keep his powers unnoticed. When he prevents a shooting in a Casino, he attracts the attention of the FBI (Moore) who needs him to prevent the deployment of a nuclear bomb that went missing from the USSR. He's not interested in getting involved - the excuse being that his powers aren't powerful enough for something of such large scale - but more pertinent is that he's chasing the vision of a woman (Biel) who he sees beyond his normal limitations. Most of the movie is spent evading the FBI and also sometimes the terrorists are  trying to kill him, which they only do because the FBI thinks he can stop them. This movie's script is so fucking muddy. It apparently went through a ton of rewrites, the number of bombs and cities involved changed, the terrorists at one point weren't even on screen and it was purely about evading the FBI, it's just very apparent when watching the movie that something happened to it. Despite that, I had a pretty decent time watching it, it's a damn mess but it's one of the more watchable bad movies on this list.

Running With The Devil (2019)
Director: Jason Cabell
Starring: Nicolas Cage, Laurence Fishburne, Leslie Bibb
Federal agents (Bibb) take notice when a cocaine dealer (Fishburne) starts cutting the supply and people start overdosing, including her own sister. The Boss (Barry Pepper), meanwhile, is interested in not only why it's being cut but why the shipments are getting increasingly light and so he sends one of his other top dealers (Cage) to audit the supply chain, following it each step of the way from Columbia, through Mexico, through the US, and into Canada. This is the fatal flaw of the movie. On its face you have a drama with Cage and Fishburne within the drug trade while a federal agent hunts them down on a mission of vengeance. What we actually have is round about an hour of this movie being spent on a series of barely connected anthology stories of drug mules. There's no drive here, no character arc, nothing to attach to. The characters are all named The Boss, The Man, The Cook, The Executioner, etc, but it doesn't have the punch of  the Guy Ritchie movie it wishes it was. This is a Redbox original, and in that sense, it's hitting above its weight, it feels like an actual movie, but boy you don't want to have to qualify in comparison to a movie written and directed by Fred Durst. Fishburne as a sex and drug addicted dealer is pretty good, but Cage is pretty empty in this movie. His character is professional, professorial even, and that's just not a very fun role to watch.

xX_sp00ks_Xx

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I usually appreciate your dark sense of humor Mr. Walker, but why did we have to spend the first paragraph discussing the imagined sexual assault of an elderly woman?
Dr. Buttplug, March 06, 2025, 09:32:59 am


The video is timestamped. The DEA think she's a drug mule and make her take her clothes off. The cop's euphemism is for the children, it's obvious she gets a cavity search, don't call it "imagined," jeez, that's an affront to the intelligence of an adult viewer. I was flabbergasted that they put this old comedy trope in an otherwise family-friendly kids movie and you would be too, if you didn't have the scene in front of you, but now you do, so there.
« Last Edit: March 06, 2025, 12:17:10 pm by xX_sp00ks_Xx »

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Movies We've Seen Recently #788
Went through all the Mission: Impossible movies over the course of a week. I'm most certainly not the first person to point this out, but the inconsistent tone across the first five movies is pretty entertaining. Every new director decided that no no no, he needs to make the TV spinoff movie into his own thing regardless of what the last guy did. John Woo's going to have motorcycle fights and his slo-mo birds, dammit! J.J. Abrams wants to explore if the silly action spy man can have a normal life so he gives him a wife--JUUUUUUST KIDDING! Brad Bird doesn't want the wife so he gets rid of her and adds a bunch of cartoony scenes and tech and the stupid A113.

They should have just committed to a new director every single movie with no restrictions. David Lynch should have gotten a Mission: Impossible movie. Get Wes Anderson in there. Get Guillermo del Toro. Get Sam Raimi. Let David Cronenberg give us Tom Cruise body horror. Just go wild with it, why not. The movies have nothing to do with the show at this point so just get as outlandish as you possibly can.
vaMpiresoftWare chai tea latte Dr. Buttplug

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Movies We've Seen Recently #789
I love Mean Girls (2004) and I love Mean Girls (stage musical) so I've been putting it off but this weekend my curiosity got the better of me and I watched Mean Girls (2024) and I do not understand. Why did they remove half the jokes, half the songs, half the emotionally impactful moments, and replace them all with like 45 minutes of bits about how kids these days are always on their phones?

They should've just whacked some guy with a camera in seat J17 to record the theatre version and it would've been so fetch.
Salubrious Rex

Turtle

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Movies We've Seen Recently #790
Kiss of Death (1995)
Director: Barbet Shroeder
Starring: David Caruso, Samuel L. Jackson, Nicolas Cage
Jimmy Kilmartin (Caruso) is an ex-convict who has put the criminal life behind him when Ronnie (Rapaport) pleads for his aid as a driver on a job, lest he suffer the wrath of Little Junior (Cage). The job, as you might expect, goes poorly - himself and Detective Calvin Hart (Jackson) are shot - and Caruso finds himself back in prison with major charges hanging over his head if he doesn't cooperate. On paper, this is a very straightforward crime movie, a story where Kilmartin is a puppet of both the mob and the government, a story of trust and betrayal. In practice? This movie slaps. Michael Rapaport is the world's biggest pile of shit, adding one more layer every time you think the character can't be worse. That carries the movie long enough to bridge us into Cage's performance as Little Junior, an adult man who is desperate for the approval of his mob boss father Big Junior. He's charismatic, naive, menacing, violent, and genuine. It's a great character and Cage really sings in it. Cage rarely gets to be the villain and he's such a perfect actor to be one - villains get to be so much more entertaining than protagonists. Ving Rhames is here, he's fucking great. You want to talk objective metrics, you want to talk quality screenwriting or cinematography, it's not here. But as a by the numbers genre flick? This movie really grew on me.

The Retirement Plan (2003)
Director: Tim Brown
Starring: Nicolas Cage, Ashley Greene, Thalia Cambell
This movie is quite bad. Jimmy (Jordan Johnson-Hinds) has gotten in over his head. He's pulled a heist against his organized crime boss (Jackie Earle Haley), it's gone haywire, and they know he did it. He's gotta get his wife Ashley (Greene) and daughter Sarah (Campbell) to the Cayman Islands with the loot to seek the help of the only family they have, Ashley's estranged beach bum dad (Cage). Ashley makes the mistake of hiding the loot - a flash drive full of highly valuable information - with their daughter. Unfortunately, this plan lasts all of a few minutes before "the bad guys" figure out where the drive went and send their goons (various, notably Ron Perlman). Fortunately, Ashley's dad isn't the deadbeat bum he appears, but is in fact a retired CIA assassin. It's up to him to protect his family from the various evil goons. The action is fairly bad and the script is atrocious and the editing often looks like it was produced in Windows Movie Maker, despite this movie having a $20m budget. It's quite clear that a major part of producing this movie was paying for people to be on the Cayman Islands and a movie was filmed along the way. Some of the performances from less notable characters could've been purchased on Fiver. All that said - this is a pretty fun bad movie. I wouldn't watch it again, it's not worth the time, but it's got enough in it to have a ruckus with friends - it makes it over the hurdle of being boring. Ron Perlman's character is a joy, he's just an old man goon who mostly hangs out with the kid he accidentally kidnapped and talks about Shakespeare. Ernie Hudson is here too.

Something I have to point out in this movie: The thing that Jimmy steals at the beginning of the movie is a flash drive. It's very visibly a flash drive, we see it a lot. They call it a hard drive. 20 times, I counted. At one point someone calls it a disc and they are berated because it's not a disc. You called it a hard drive! Sometimes they manage to accidentally be right - 40 times they realize that "hard drive" is too long to keep saying so they shorthand it to "drive". That's too many times! They refer to the McGuffin of this movie over 60 times in a 2 hour film, that's way too much! You absolutely notice this while watching!

Mom and Dad (2017)
Director: Brian Taylor
Starrring: Nicolas Cage, Selma Blair, Anne Winters
From one of the writers and directors of Crank (2006) comes a black comedy in which parents are compelled by some mysterious urge to murder their own children. I'm assuming you're already on board. Kendall (Blair) and Brent (Cage), the titular Mom and Dad, are in the throes of their respective midlife crises'. Their oldest, Carly (Winters) is a sophomore in high school and typically rebellious. She steals money from her mom's purse, does drugs with her awful friend, and dates a boy that her dad hates. Their youngest, Josh, is a handful in the ways that a 10 year old boy is a handful. The movie begins slowly as we build these characters and tease that perhaps all is not right with the world. When we turn the key, when the pedal hits the floor, this movie becomes incredible. The performances are great all around, mixing small and wildly over the top expressions - Cage is having a blast in this movie, they use him perfectly - and there's something so fun about the ways that the parents are fully rational, lucid, and exactingly murderous. It pulls some moves by the end that had me absolutely cackling. Watch this movie with some friends, you won't regret it.

Peggy Sue Got Married (1986)
Director: Francis Ford Coppola
Starring: Kathleen Turner, Nicolas Cage, Barry Miller
Peggy Sue (Turner) is attending her 25 year high school reunion. Reconnecting with the characters from her past, the former Prom Queen is old and sad and in the midst of a divorce from her former Prom King, now Appliance King, Charlie Bodell (Cage). Chosen again as the reunion's Queen, she is overwhelmed with emotion and faints on stage, finding herself back in 1960 in the final days of school with all her knowledge and regrets from the future. Can she make new choices, can she find a new happiness, a new love? Or, perhaps, rediscover an old one? When this Back to the Future-like is being a comedy, I think it works pretty well. Some of the jokes are predictable groaners but they kind of work in the context. When it's being a nostalgic romance, a lot less so. You're really just waiting for the snag, for the part of the movie where the complication happens. It - it doesn't really? In BTTF, Marty goes ham for a bit but then has to repair the past lest he be unmade. There's nothing like that here. Peggy Sue just cavorts around making different choices, behaving out of character from her high school self, until eventually the movie runs out of screen time. Of note here is Cage's controversial decision to play Charlie, an aspiring musician who we know will fail in that dream, with a highly fictional nerdlinger nasal voice. People did not like this voice and I get it, it's very offputting, but I think it eventually sinks in and works for the character who I think Cage was right to identify needed something to distinguish itself. Was it the best choice? Probably not, probably the actual solution was a more interesting script.
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Dr. Buttplug

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Movies We've Seen Recently #791
For no particular reason I watched a bunch of movies with titles that start with "Once Upon a Time in" and for no good reason at all I'm going to rank them.

1. the West

Sergio Leone is my favorite director. His style and pacing, the palpable suspense and Ennio Morricone's score ties it all together like a nice little bow. The Good the Bad and the Ugly is my absolute favorite, but the West is spectacular.

2. (?)

3. Mexico

A shade sillier than any of the other flicks on this list. More patriotic too. Some very memorable scenes though. I was a little down on it upon first watching it, but I keep thinking back on it and going "that was pretty rad."

4. India (Lagaan)

India will slot nicely in at number 3. I was surprised it was a sports movie and extremely surprised it made me give a shit about a cricket game. Really fun and dramatic.

5. Shanghai*

Andy Ho was way better at acting and more believable and bombastic in his physicality. Should have been about him. Phillip Ng looked like a goofball with that discount Bruce Lee wig. Also screaming "get out of my country!" is not the heroic quip they thought it was.

6. America

I'm really down on this right now. It's just a brutally unpleasant experience and I think that's intentional. I'll probably come around on it eventually but right now I just feel gross. If you're considering watching it CW: explicit extended rape scene.

7. Hollywood

I saw this when it came out. Not a bad movie, but I hate how reverent it is of "old Hollywood" to the point of being masturbatory.


I also plan on watching Lagaan: Once Upon a Time in India. It's a long one, but I'm hoping it will rank, and given the setting I'm curious how it compares to RRR. I will update my rankings when I finish it.

This seems to be the most relevant and well regarded films with this title convention, but if anyone wants to suggest others I might as well, I've gone this far.
    Dr. Buttplug, July 25, 2022, 01:00:16 pm


    Finally I've come back around to it.

    Once Upon a Time In China (1991)

    The only common thread that carries through is a clear sense of place, and a longer than average movie.
    Really great kung fu cinema, some great action set pieces. The story is a bit silly at times, but has enough intrigue to keep you engaged, and leaves you wanting more. Shi-Kwan Yen, Bui Yen and of course Jet Li turn in great performances both physical and expressive. Really good, and there's like 5 more movies and a TV series. What could go wrong?
    Glancing at those though, I think Ill watch 2 and Once Upon a Time somewhere else next.

    Taking it all into account. I think it slots in comfortably at second place. Good ass movie.
    vaMpiresoftWare

    Turtle

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    Movies We've Seen Recently #792
    Amos & Andrew (1993)
    Director: E. Max Frye
    Starring: Nicolas Cage, Samuel L. Jackson, Michael Lerner
    Andrew Sterling (Jackson) is a professor of racial justice and best selling author of national fame. On his first night in his new summer home on a remote island in Massachusettes, he is mistaken for a burglar by his new neighbors (Lerner). The police are called in and after a series of mishaps, he finds himself first under police gunfire and then talking, as a presumed hostage, to the Chief of Police (Dabney Coleman), who soon realizes the error and tries to control the damage. This brings us to Amos (Cage), a petty criminal in the local jail who is given an offer - break into the house, hold Andrew hostage, and wait to be arrested, giving the police a scapegoat to point to as the person responsible for the shooting. In exchange, the Chief will look the other way while he escapes. Antics ensue - this a comedy, by the way. As a comedy, it's decent enough - there are way worse movies in this project. The main problem is that the comedy, which leans into its political premise, is often undercut by it.

    This movie wants to make a political statement about racism in America - there's a reason it's titled what it is. It points in particular at the racism of northern liberals, rather than a more typical rural south. It is also a movie that has a protagonist say that affluent black men marry white women and educated black men are acting white. It is a movie that depicts the police as racist and corrupt, their first priority being to protect themselves. It is also a movie that depicts the police as Naked Gun-esque bumblers with a clown ass soundtrack. It is a movie that shows the necessity of racial justice while mocking protesters who fight for it. It is a movie that uses the imagery of bloodhounds pursuing a black man and plays it for comedy. This movie has problems, to say the least.

    Brad Dourif is also here.

    The Family Man (2000)
    Director: Brett Ratner
    Starring: Nicolas Cage, Téa Leoni, Don Cheadle
    Jack Campbell (Cage) is a top executive at an investment firm closing a billion dollar merger. He's wealthy, single, attractive, the world is his oyster. The problem? It's Christmas! And despite his grinchly nature, he is insufficiently wary of Christmas Ghosts (Cheadle), finding himself sent to an alternate timeline where he focused not on his career, but on his relationships and family, most notably his wife (Leoni). I don't really need to go from here, you get it. It's a wonderful life but different. It's fine. The worst part is how often Jack bounces between learning a lesson and being a good guy and then the next scene reverting and being a bad guy. It does it over and over and the only real reason is so they can continue to pad out the middle of the movie. What's weird is how much T&A is in this thing. It's a Christmas movie, it's about valuing family, it's a romance. It's shocking how explicit it occasionally is. Cage has some good scenes but the role is stock standard, not much for him to do besides be the leading man.

    Rumble Fish (1983)
    Director: Francis Ford Coppola
    Starring: Matt Dillon, Mickey Rourke, Diane Lane
    Rusty James (Dillon) is a teen street tough living in the shadow of his brother (Rourke), chasing a life that isn't his own from an era that no longer exists. It's a great film, the soundtrack is wild and interesting, the cinematography exactly what you'd expect from Coppola doing some of his best work. This a capital F Film so I'm not going to spend much time on it. This movie is art, you can find actual critique on it, you don't need me here. You may notice that Cage wasn't listed above - he's got a minor role here as Rusty James' friend and rival Smokey. It's an early role and sits in line with Racing with the Moon (1984). You can sometimes see a whisper of the more manic energy he grasps onto later, but he's mostly just a young hunk.

    Butcher's Crossing (2022)
    Director: Gabe Polsky
    Starring: Nicolas Cage, Fred Hechinger, Jeremy Bobb
    Will Andrews (Hechinger) is a Harvard educated booksboy come to the untamed West to see the land of our great country and find himself. Denied the opportunity to join local hunts, he signs on with Miller (Cage) for an expedition to the mountains where, years ago, Miller had found a sea of healthy, untouched Buffalo. Buffalo are a main character of this movie - it is a demonstration of the brutality, the massacre of the American Bison. I can't recommend going out of your way for it, but I greatly enjoyed this movie. It builds and releases tension well, the shots are beautiful, the characters unnerving. My main criticism of it is that it is at times dark, threatening, harrowing - I would've liked it to lean in on that more, to spend longer in that atmosphere. Time and events pass in the story so quickly, it diminishes the stakes. Cage's Miller is this perfect balancing act of subdued and unhinged, a clear threat to everyone around him but bottled, under pressure.
    vaMpiresoftWare
    « Last Edit: May 10, 2025, 02:28:48 pm by Turtle »

    Turtle

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    Movies We've Seen Recently #793
    It Could Happen to You (1994)
    Director: Andrew Bergman
    Starring: Nicolas Cage, Bridget Fonda, Rosie Perez
    Charlie Lang (Cage) is a New York City cop. Now you're going to have to stretch your imagination because a big part of the premise of this movie is that he's a good person. One day his wife (Perez) insists that he buys a lotto ticket, which he does. Unable to come up with the cash for a tip at a diner, he offers half of whatever the ticket in his wallet earns to the waitress, Yvonne (Fonda). This ticket, of course, wins $4 million. True to his word, and against the wishes of his wife, he does just that. The rest of the movie is a romantic comedy. There's not much to say about this movie, it's bog standard, the only thing I really have to say about the movie is this: If you write a character into your movie, and that character is a shrill awful person, and that's your intention because they're supposed to be annoying, you're supposed to dislike them, well I'm still going to have a bad time seeing them on screen. Don't do this.
    Wendell Pierce is in this movie as Nic Cage's cop partner. That's Bunk! That's fun.
     
    Knowing (2009)
    Director: Alex Proyas
    Starring: Nicolas Cage, Chandler Canterbury, Rose Byrne
    John Koestler (Cage) is an astronomy professor and single father, a widower. When his son's (Canterbury) school opens a time capsule from 50 years prior, he discovers an encoded message - what appear to be the dates of, and death tolls of, every major world disaster over the course of the past half century - and into the future. This discovery compels him to act, to understand the message, how it came to be and what he can do to prevent the looming threats. I had heard of this movie, often in the same breath as previously seen Next (2007). What I hadn't heard, and what I am pleased to report, is that this movie is good! The premise risks feeling silly but manages to keep it grounded. Its themes of fate, religion, they're pretty surface level, not particularly novel, but they serve the mystery, the drama, and that part of the movie is surprisingly engaging. Cage and his opposite, Byrne, pull off sincere desperation at times when the movie could really fall apart. Check this one out, it's a good ride.

    Pig (2021)
    Director: Michael Sarnoski
    Starring: Nicolas Cage, Alex Wolff, Adam Arkin
    Rob (Cage) is a recluse who lives with his pig (Brandy) in a cabin in the forest outside of Portland. They live a quiet life foraging for mushrooms, which they eat, and truffles, which they trade each week to a man who comes from the city (Wolff) in exchange for groceries and other miscellaneous essentials. One night, Rob's cabin is broken into. He's severely beaten and his pig stolen. This draws him back into the city he once left, drifting like a ghost through his previous life, in search for his pig. It is a quiet, intimate story of grief, of mourning, and it is not just one of my favorite Cage films, it is one of my favorite films.

    The Weather Man (2005)
    Director: Gore Verbinski
    Starring: Nicolas Cage, Hope Davis, Nicholas Hoult
    David Spritz (Cage) is a Chicago TV Weather Man with a rising professional career and a personal life in severe decline. He's separated from his wife, Noreen (Davis), who has a long term relationship with a new man. His children are struggling from the divorce - Shelly (Gemmenne de la Peña) has taken up smoking and, in the words of the movie, is "grossly overweight and unhappy". His son, Mike (Hoult), is in a long term drug counceling program after being caught smoking pot. His father (Michael Caine!?) is a Pulitzer prize winning author for whom he is a disappointment. Through the movie, David, as our protagonist, tries to improve these failing relationships, tries to improve his children's lives, but is stymied by his narcissism. He cheats on couple's counseling, he tries to use his job success to buy love. At the end of the day his failures are his own. And if you stop right here, you can imagine a movie with these pieces that says something about this portrait of a man, this empty suit - he's not even a trained meteorologist, he's more or less a green screen actor with a nice smile. Despite this, he's being called up to be the weather man for Bryant Gumbel's national morning show. The movie would have us believe this is an indictment on modern society, on consumerism, but the script is totally incoherent.

    Cage plays the part well in the way that only he could because the tone is all over the place. It makes a lot of expository statements that don't fit in with what's actually on screen. Monologues to establish themes that don't fit the facts. He's a bad father, we're led to believe, and while he desires to be a part of his family's life, they're better off with the more stable and healthy influence of their mother... but through the entire movie we see him trying - and even succeeding - to help his daughter with pretty significant social and developmental problems which his wife is never shown to be addressing. It says he's a womanizer but it's not a part of the character, they're brief flashes that have little to do with the rest of the movie, it's information we're told as a character flaw but it isn't true. His son seems totally fine, a healthy, well-adjusted teen boy who smoked pot offscreen before the movie started. It doesn't work, the screen doesn't match the page.

    I understand what this movie wants to be but, much like David, it isn't what it wants to be. Watch it anyway - it's kind of fascinating.
    vaMpiresoftWare
    « Last Edit: June 06, 2025, 09:31:19 am by Turtle »