As I said in the bumper, this is why I'm glad we did this episode. The content was nasty, but there's actual reflection to be had.
Personally, I believe what's happening here is consensual misogyny, or at least consensual patriarchy.
There was one Taken In Hand bit that we read, but I cut it out of the episode because I didn't want to conflate the CDD people with the secular fetishists, but the same blend is clearly there. The women are giving up their control, and the reasons for them doing that is, I'm sure, a blend of factors that's gonna be different from person to person, but obviously religious adherence is a key factor for the CDD people.
For that reason I don't think what's happening here, generally, qualifies as domestic violence. These people are in what seems to be poisonous relationships that they themselves contribute to (although the same could be said about domestic violence relationships as well), and I guess I don't believe there's real victimhood happening here, which is what turns something from People Making Bad Decisions into The Worst Possible People.