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November 14, 2018, 04:27:57 pm

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Topic: Your Favorite F+ Poetry  (Read 2360 times)

Bobalay

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Your Favorite F+ Poetry
« on: May 09, 2014, 07:23:16 pm »
Poetry seems to pop up in half of the F+ episodes, so let's talk about our favorites!

The one from She Thinks My Sex are Spexy was surprisingly well-made for fetish poetry, and I think Hippo Love is genuinely great.
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Mister Smalls

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Your Favorite F+ Poetry
« Reply #1 on: May 09, 2014, 07:53:42 pm »
This is kind of a bizarre choice, but this poem by "BlackC@" from this thread, linked under "Additional Fun" after Episode 41 (Lemon Types In A Title For This Episode), is seriously one of my favorite examples of internet poetry of all time.

Quote
I got a bratty twin-brother, he bugs me everyday
This mornin' my own step-mother gave my last slice of dignity away
My dad he acts like, like he's the boss, of youuuuuuuuu
Oh it's true
I'm the saddest kid, the saddest kid to ever walk this earth

I wish I had a car
I wish I were eighteen
I wish I had a dollar for everybody who treats me mean
I'm the saddest kid, the saddest kid to ever walk this earth.

Sometimes I sing it in the shower to the tune of a blues standard.  ("I got a bratty twin brotheeeer."  Da NAH na NUH.)
Liatai

Victor Laszlo

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« Reply #2 on: May 09, 2014, 08:41:20 pm »
Sometimes I sing it in the shower to the tune of a blues standard.  ("I got a bratty twin brotheeeer."  Da NAH na NUH.)

I can't tell whether or not you know that you're supposed to.  I mean, it's been 24 years.

Lady Frenzy

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« Reply #3 on: May 09, 2014, 08:45:06 pm »
This is kind of a bizarre choice, but this poem by "BlackC@" from this thread, linked under "Additional Fun" after Episode 41 (Lemon Types In A Title For This Episode), is seriously one of my favorite examples of internet poetry of all time.

Quote
I got a bratty twin-brother, he bugs me everyday
This mornin' my own step-mother gave my last slice of dignity away
My dad he acts like, like he's the boss, of youuuuuuuuu
Oh it's true
I'm the saddest kid, the saddest kid to ever walk this earth

I wish I had a car
I wish I were eighteen
I wish I had a dollar for everybody who treats me mean
I'm the saddest kid, the saddest kid to ever walk this earth.

This is literally based off a song in The Simpsons.

http://simpsons.wikia.com/wiki/Moanin'_Lisa_Blues

Mighty Dicktron

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Your Favorite F+ Poetry
« Reply #4 on: May 09, 2014, 09:06:10 pm »
Fucking on a pile of junk
cube abuser

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Your Favorite F+ Poetry
« Reply #5 on: May 10, 2014, 01:58:29 am »
I unironically enjoyed "Lost Verses From The Cypher Siccness" which, sadly, seems to have been lost to history. It had a Kool Keith appeal to it.

In terms of badness, it's hard to beat the rap battle about a baby farting in the Sissykiss ep.

Mister Smalls

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Your Favorite F+ Poetry
« Reply #6 on: May 10, 2014, 11:44:38 am »
Quote
I got a bratty twin-brother, he bugs me everyday
This mornin' my own step-mother gave my last slice of dignity away
My dad he acts like, like he's the boss, of youuuuuuuuu
Oh it's true
I'm the saddest kid, the saddest kid to ever walk this earth

I wish I had a car
I wish I were eighteen
I wish I had a dollar for everybody who treats me mean
I'm the saddest kid, the saddest kid to ever walk this earth.

This is literally based off a song in The Simpsons.

http://simpsons.wikia.com/wiki/Moanin'_Lisa_Blues
[/quote]
Holy shit, I had no idea.  Thank you for pointing this out to me.
(I have not watched The Simpsons in an extraordinarily long time.)

SATAN MILKSHAKE

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Your Favorite F+ Poetry
« Reply #7 on: May 10, 2014, 12:36:13 pm »
Seconding Cypher Siccness.  That was legitimately amazing.

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« Reply #8 on: November 08, 2018, 05:35:42 am »
The Cypher Siccness guy has a Bandcamp page, where you can listen to songs like "Aesthetic of a Rogue Ninja".

Quote
I Used To Be
A Decent Person
'Til I Started
Watchin' Hentai,
Bought An Ounce
So I Can Get High,
Fuck Around Until
I'm Pissed Off,
And If I Ever Died,
Only Wish They Gathered
The Dragon Balls
To Bring Me Back To Life,
Out Of Spite I Just
Start To Stab'em All
Mazaku, Fuckin' Slaughter You
Like Yusuke Urameshi,
Iron Lungs, I Fire Slugs
At Anybody Bent On Testin' Me,
So What You Tryna Prove To Me?
Done With Earth,
Upon The Moon I Sleep,
Then I Opened Up My Eyes
To Look For Gods But
All These Fools I See,

Ruthlessly Murkin' Niggas,
But Nobody Gives A Shit,
So I Spit It Sicc Like Mucus
Future Trunks, My Life's A Glitch,
These...Bitches Never Knew Me,
Y'all Groupies On My Dick,
'Coz I Leave Dat Pussy Feindin',
Not A Secret That Hit,
Demon Ninja From The Forest
Hidden Deep Within Abyss,
Extendin' From Endless Darkness,
Feel Me Crawlin' Through The Night,
At A Distance Spot The Target,
Shoot A Dart And End His Life,
Pull Out'cha Heart As I Dissect'em
Murder Weapon Was A Mic,

Like...

The Truth Is In My Blueprint
Seekin' Wisdom, Kill They Ego,
So Lucid With This Music,
Drop Guillotines
On The Beat, Hoe,
Foldin' Origami Blunts
Of Purple Kush
Within My Tree Home,
Alien-X Projected
From Technical
Colored Dream Codes,

No I Don't Exist, I Just
Defy The Laws Of Physics,
Microscopic, Can't Describe Me,
Quantified By Scientism,
Egyptian God Like Osiris,
I'm Alive But Still Unliving,
Zombified, Awaking Slowly,
Hanging Over Since I Sobered Up,

RahXephon
From A Time Beyond,
I Hold The Globe
Inside My Clutch,
Transcendent When
Penning These Passages,
Something Like Liquid Light
Because My Flow Is Not So Tangible,
Witness My Entrance Into The Sky
As I Ride On Top Of A Pterodactyl,

Cloudy Eyed, My Mind Expandin'
Off The Planet Like I'm Atomsk
Travellin' Through The Galaxy,
Figure This Mental Math,
Been Skippin' School
Like Fuck The Rules,
I'm In My Room,
Consumed By Shadows,
Spacin' Out Because
I Don't Believe In Humans,
Who's The Baddest?
Bitch, You Average,
I'm Abstracted
As I Glow Holographic,
Overloadin' Until
I'm Cold And Empty,
But May The Holy Ghost
Forgive Me For This
Rebel Soul That's In Me,
Scrolls Unfoldin'
Hidden Mysteries,
As I'm Filled
With Gnostic Visions
Of The Prestine,

So High I Must've Died
And Jumped Inside
My Favorite Animes
Like Sekirei, Fooly Cooly,
Twistin' Doobies Everyday,
Action Figures Rappin'
Crash The System
Of United Snakes,
So Muthafuckin' Radical
Slashin' These Faggots
With The Blade...

Ascended Masters
When We Raptured
At The End Of Days,
Godly With No Body,
Fallen Angels Given Wings,
Illuminized By The Horizon,
Chaos Caught Up In Between
Oscillated Sound Vibrations
Saved Upon A USB,

To Keep It Simple,
I'm Just Chillin'
With A Goddess,
Spendin' Time Alone,
Float Up To The Ceiling
Smokin' Ganja, Watchin' Naruto,
Shinigami Chronicles,
Slicin'em With Dat Zanpakuto,
Blastin'em With Dem Hadous,
Katanas'll Crack Apart'cha Skull,

Mary Jane
On My Brain,
Gain Knxwledge
Like 5 Percenters,
These Niggas
Claimin' They Gods
But Know Nothin'
About The Spirit,
Third Eye Blinded,
Look Inside For
Cosmic Conscious,
Dodgin' Ignorance,
Gotta Open Up Your Chakras
To Free Your Mind
From The Physical,

Bitch I'm Black Magician,
Smackin' Witches
With My Dick,
Kill La Kill
Illuminati,
Dump The Bodies
In A Ditch,
I Descended
In The Flesh
Just To Give
You Niggas Death,
Get Off Da Mic
If You Can't Rap,
Let's Show These
Niggas How To Spit

Bruh...

Escape
The Hate
Of Friends
Who Fake,
Oneday I'll Reign
As They Get Slayed,
Must Stay Awake,
And Blaze This Haze,
I Pray My Pain
Will Fade Away. . .

(The old Lost Verses are in the Wayback.)
Lemon GirlKisser420 montrith

GirlKisser420

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Your Favorite F+ Poetry
« Reply #9 on: November 08, 2018, 03:02:17 pm »
Quote
[Hook]
I Think I Got A
Fuckin' Problem,
Main Bitch Rei But
My Side Bitch Asuka,
I Don't Make Vows
And I Never Tell Lies,
It Was Just The Other Day
I Told A Bitch She Ain't Kawaii,
Y'all Lackin' Aesthetic,
Made A Record For My Bros,
Came Down From The Heavens,
Never Sellin' Out My Soul,
Purified By Misogi,
Spoken Word From The God,
Keep My 3rd Eye Open
So You Know I Seen It All
AgentCoop Sham bam bamina!

KingKalamari

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Your Favorite F+ Poetry
« Reply #10 on: November 08, 2018, 05:28:06 pm »
I think my favorite is also the one I think is the objective worst: spaceofjoyce from ep. 155. Her poetry is just so blatantly bad on all levels that I can't help but adore it.

Also I have a soft spot for "The Horny Cannibal" from ep. 159, but that's mostly because of Jimmyfranks' casually enthusiastic delivery.
H.P. Corn Syrup

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« Reply #11 on: November 08, 2018, 06:43:04 pm »
That poem Isfahan read in the glasses fetish episode is probably the best poem ever read on the podcast in terms of quality. It actually rhymed and there was observable scansion.
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Dawnswalker

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Your Favorite F+ Poetry
« Reply #12 on: November 08, 2018, 07:49:15 pm »
"I tried to forgive her but I'm not a Jesus" from The F+ Sings blew my mind.
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« Reply #13 on: November 09, 2018, 07:03:53 am »
Deep throbbing does now seize her cunt
I knew she would orgasm hunt
My thrusting thumb does drive in deep
As from her twat the juices weep

montrith

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« Reply #14 on: November 10, 2018, 09:52:31 am »
WHOOP DE DOOP I WANNA SEE YOU POOP
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