Hey! Have you ever done something you're not proud of? Do you have a secret? Are you Jeremy Fernandez? Do you like to sneak into maternity wards and fart into the babies' mouths? Did you beat a nun to death on the steps of a church with a table leg? Well, now's your chance to get that weight off your chest in true F Plus fashion by telling everyone about it in lurid, poorly-spelled detail.
Send your confessions to
[email protected], and I'll copy and paste them into the thread. I suggest using
an anonymous mailer.One small common-sense stipulation: 'Confessions' attacking individual users will be thrown out, as will any opinions liable to raise a shitstorm. Otherwise, go nuts.
Some selections from a similar thread on another forum I frequent:
I once edited Wikipedia to say that it was implied on multiple occasions throughout the show that George Jetson was Fred Flintstone in a past life. It took them over a year to take it down. I like to imagine that some neckbeard went back and watched every episode to determine that it wasn't true.
I was wearing this pair of boxers and they developed a tear. Instead of throwing them away, I repositioned them for maximum tautness then flexed until they exploded off my legs.
I stole a pack of Pokémon cards from a store when I was 8
When I was very young, around 8 or so, I used to piss into my socks and then stuff them into my underwear, and wear them to school like that. At night I would take them out and rub them all over my body.
Likewise, I would spit on my dick/stomach, then spread it over as much of myself as I could (and to this day, the smell of saliva reminds me of this).
I would sometimes pour a glass of water, stick my penis into it, and then drink it afterward. This was mainly because I wasn't flexible enough to lick my penis directly. I would lick things like my armpits and feet though. And smell them for prolonged periods as well.
I used to throw rocks at squirrels, and dreamed that one day I would capture them and torture them in various ways.
I contemplated eating shit on numerous occasions, but could never bring myself to actually do it. I came close a few times though.
All of these, and various other habits, brought me a kind of exhilaration that I can only rarely experience nowadays. Masturbation (something I wasn't capable of, or at least aware of, back then, and which has since more or less replaced these things) comes close at times, but isn't really the same. There was always a degree of terror as well as excitement involved. I used to find myself shuddering uncontrollably when I got really into these things.
And furthermore, while most of those early fascinations later became sexual fetishes of some form or another, others (mainly the torturing fantasies) largely faded from interest. And while I should probably be thankful for that, I confess that I often lament it. It feels like I lost something that used to be very special to me.
And of course, I'd be remiss not to link to
Lou's episode featuring the original Anonymous Confessional thread from SA. Give it a listen if you haven't already!
