After careful consideration of both this episode and the last few years of content on the podcast I think I can come to a conclusion:
People on the internet have forgotten how to masturbate.
We got the first inklings of this in the fleshlight episode (Where so many members of the community had masturbated so hard it ruined them that they coined a term for it), but it really started to pick up with the MyMasturbation (In which people were jerking off in the most obtuse and least effective ways) and NoFap (In which people attributed all their life's ills to masturbation and have sworn it off entirely) episodes. My personal theory on the cause of this: The internet simply became too daring in its masturbation experiments and forgot the fundamentals: We have spent so much time on teledildonics and sex robots and novelty dildos that we've lost sight of what it was all about...
KingKalamari, January 24, 2019, 06:25:25 pm
I can't help but think that this is monster cockogous to people watching rocket explosions and thinking nothing will ever come of space travel. We're watching pioneers grope into the fog, feeling out the frontier of whacking it, and we're finding the charred wreckage, not the experiments that soldiered on.
It's even getting better! NoFap and fleshlightists couldnt even rub one out, these roleplayers can, if they stick to the script.
Sure, we can look back on the halcyon days of our youths, gazing wistfully on our simplistic but reliable rituals, but we must not seek to regress. Soon we will achieve our moone` shot, and we will reap the dividend; someday soon, we will ascend beyond mere wankery. We Will Achieve Post-Precum.
or we'll discover cool flashlights, thats possible too