Episode 98: Can't Say I Approve Of Your Methods, Mister Holmes

[Neal]

Thank you guys. My girlfriend is a Sherlock fan fic writer on Tumblr, and it kinda drives me up the wall, so I needed this.

[Yossarian]

PS: I'm working as hard as I can to catch up with Isfahan's post count, but he just has that hard edge military training provides. Before this episode I didn't even know you had to go through regular asshole inspections.

Yep, twice a week, on Mondays and Fridays, the ol' bend-and-pretend.

They were pretty monster cock about them.

~Beware the Green Weenie~

[nigeline]

Thank you guys. My girlfriend is a Sherlock fan fic writer on Tumblr, and it kinda drives me up the wall, so I needed this.

Oh god, tumblr is even worse than livejournal....

[Isfahan]

Thank you guys. My girlfriend is a Sherlock fan fic writer on Tumblr, and it kinda drives me up the wall, so I needed this.

Dish.

[TheCrawlingChaos]

I would just like to say that "Fluffy Aftercare" is my new porn name.

[count_actuala]

No F Plus episode has made me queasy like the asexual cuddleporn portion of this one. Good freaking lord, how is that possible?

[Lady Naga]

This is only tangentally related to the episode but am I the only one who finds the Sherlock theme eerily similar to Ecstacy of Gold? Honest to dog I thought that was the intro song for a good three seconds.

[Clockderp]

No F Plus episode has made me queasy like the asexual cuddleporn portion of this one. Good freaking lord, how is that possible?

I have no fucking clue. I actually had to stop listening to the episode because it made me that intensely uncomfortable. I made it through the adult babies and bug-fucking episodes, I don't know how I couldn't make it through this one.

[Lady Naga]

Are there people who get payed writing asexual cuddling? Holy shit I would write this crap all day if I could get payed min wage for it.

[One Of The Crappy Pokemon That Nobody Likes]

No F Plus episode has made me queasy like the asexual cuddleporn portion of this one. Good freaking lord, how is that possible?

I have no fucking clue. I actually had to stop listening to the episode because it made me that intensely uncomfortable. I made it through the adult babies and bug-fucking episodes, I don't know how I couldn't make it through this one.

My guess is it's because Outlawroad is very clearly fetishizing asexuality. It's like when furries and other weirdos draw page after page of safe-for-work porn and play innocent the whole time. "No, I just think balloons are super cute!" "Nah man I'm merely INTRIGUED by 50-foot-tall women!" "I just draw fat sheep as a joke!" They know they're beating off, YOU know they're beating off, yet they put everyone in this situation where we have to pretend like a person has a gallery full of boytaurs for fun or some shit. It just gives everything a creepy undercurrent.

So yes, calling it right now: I predict it will some day be revealed that Outlawroad is not truly asexual, but is so insanely repressed that she has come to fetishize asexuality and regularly masturbates to the idea. And then some day she will have a very sexual relationship built around how hot and sexy and asexual it all is, and the resulting paradox will tear reality asunder.

... the F+ Book of Revelations is really weird.

[icarus]

i wonder if she'll shout BOOP BEEP during sex

[Alpha Starsquatch]

i wonder if she'll shout BOOP BEEP during sex

Nah, it'd be more like "NO HETERO! ITS NOT LIKE IM... ATTRACTED TO YOU OR ANYTHING, BAKA!"

[Moriarty]

My guess is it's because Outlawroad is very clearly fetishizing asexuality. It's like when furries and other weirdos draw page after page of safe-for-work porn and play innocent the whole time. "No, I just think balloons are super cute!" "Nah man I'm merely INTRIGUED by 50-foot-tall women!" "I just draw fat sheep as a joke!" They know they're beating off, YOU know they're beating off, yet they put everyone in this situation where we have to pretend like a person has a gallery full of boytaurs for fun or some shit. It just gives everything a creepy undercurrent.

So yes, calling it right now: I predict it will some day be revealed that Outlawroad is not truly asexual, but is so insanely repressed that she has come to fetishize asexuality and regularly masturbates to the idea. And then some day she will have a very sexual relationship built around how hot and sexy and asexual it all is, and the resulting paradox will tear reality asunder.

... the F+ Book of Revelations is really weird.

That would actually be way, way healthier than what she's claiming to want. According to her, she could potentially see herself having sex with someone, but that person would have to be  a stranger or a prostitute. So she's sort of okay with sex (in theory), it's just the sexual relationship part that bothers her, apparently.

Though, if you mean a relationship where they do nothing but grope each other cuddle for hours, after which she leaves to get off by herself while pretending the two things are completely unrelated, then yeah, that could totally happen.

[One Of The Crappy Pokemon That Nobody Likes]

My guess is it's because Outlawroad is very clearly fetishizing asexuality. It's like when furries and other weirdos draw page after page of safe-for-work porn and play innocent the whole time. "No, I just think balloons are super cute!" "Nah man I'm merely INTRIGUED by 50-foot-tall women!" "I just draw fat sheep as a joke!" They know they're beating off, YOU know they're beating off, yet they put everyone in this situation where we have to pretend like a person has a gallery full of boytaurs for fun or some shit. It just gives everything a creepy undercurrent.

So yes, calling it right now: I predict it will some day be revealed that Outlawroad is not truly asexual, but is so insanely repressed that she has come to fetishize asexuality and regularly masturbates to the idea. And then some day she will have a very sexual relationship built around how hot and sexy and asexual it all is, and the resulting paradox will tear reality asunder.

... the F+ Book of Revelations is really weird.

That would actually be way, way healthier than what she's claiming to want. According to her, she could potentially see herself having sex with someone, but that person would have to be  a stranger or a prostitute. So she's sort of okay with sex (in theory), it's just the sexual relationship part that bothers her, apparently.

Though, if you mean a relationship where they do nothing but grope each other cuddle for hours, after which she leaves to get off by herself while pretending the two things are completely unrelated, then yeah, that could totally happen.

Yeah the latter. I think what would happen is she and her partner would cuddle and make a big show of how non-sexual and NON-ROMANTIC it all is, then she'd run off to masturbate to it, not daring to let her partner know that she even has any sexual feelings. I'm guessing that in her ideal scenario, her partner essentially is a stranger. It wouldn't be too unusual for sad nerds, really. I've seen tons of nerd relationships wherein the two parties never fucking discuss anything important or personal, and they just each silently sit on their own individual computers every evening. Couples who know more about each other's favorite webcomics than, say, their sexual interests. Couples who say "lol i dunno"... and mean it... when asked anything personal about their partner. So hell, she might actually get what she wants after all. And it'll be an atomic level of unhealthy!

... y-YAY?

[Down10]

I really wasn't expecting an episode about Sherlock Holmes asexual slash fiction to contain such graphic descriptions of bestiality. That was most unpleasant. :(