Fuck me is this a grim community. I vaguely identify as ace* and I have way less of a hangup about sex than these people do.
It's like sex scenes in movies, right? This is a bugbear of mine cause I work as an intimacy coordinator in the theatre world on occasion and it's a profession that gets regularly mocked. People say that they should be entirely removed from films cause they don't "add anything" - which is both wrong and fundamentally misunderstanding the issue - but simultaneously, it's something that requires nuance when staging and also when talking about their history and portrayal.
Same thing around BDSM. It's great, I have experience of it - but you need to have nuance and care when doing it and discussing it!
Same deal when talking about porn, talking about sexualisation on games or on screen, when talking about erotica - these are all things that need nuance to talk about and this subreddit doesn't have it at aaaaallllll.
A lot of the posters in that subreddit seem to see sex as being something done to someone as opposed to a thing people actively participate in, and often they solely see women as victims rather than active participants.
Idk if y'all saw the Sabrina Carpenter thing, but she has a moment in her touring music show where simulates a sex position on stage, and in Paris she simulated doing an Eiffel Tower with two male dancers. There was so much discourse around it because a lot of people seemed to think that a woman couldn't consent to an Eiffel Tower and like... yes she can. And she could!
Sorry, long reply. Lots of thoughts!
*Disclaimer of yes my hormones are fine (experiencing physical desire is not the issue, it's just very rarely for me), yes I have sexual experience, yes I'm a grown-ass adult - cause I think ace people occasionally get a bad rap in these forums
