Episode 3: Asexuals

[fluffy]

My favorite one is "Don't sell yourself short!" like I've made a conscious decision to self-deprecate myself out of a sexual relationship.

Oh and then there's when my mom decided I just needed encouragement in being gay (since obviously I'm not straight) and kept on researching local gay groups for me to join and suggested that I join, specifically, a gay choir.  I'm still trying to figure THAT one out.

[Isfahan]

I can help! She loves you, she's trying to be understanding and supportive, but isn't sure how to go about doing that. Have you talked with her about it, or are you just leaving her to suss things out for herself? A lot of gay people would kill to have a mother like yours.

[fluffy]

I'm not trying to figure out why she's trying to help, I'm trying to figure out why she thought a gay choir was the specific suggestion I needed in order to find happiness.

Of course I've talked to her and said that I don't really need these suggestions because I'm doing just fine with my various friendships and Meetup groups and whatnot.

Also, she started on this when I was a bit depressed after my boyfriend of two years (which was a platonic, on-and-off thing) died unexpectedly, and she was concerned about the fact that I wasn't diving head-first into trying to find another relationship right away.

She definitely means well and I completely appreciate her intentions, but she's a bit too aggressive at trying to fix everyone's problems.

[Keetah Spacecat]

I hope the interviewees don't mind me asking, but how common is behavior like this in the asexual community? Do you guys and girls feel like it's necessary to come out early in the dating process? How do you find other people who're sexually and emotionally compatible with you? I'm quite curious. :)

Like Icarus I don't 'hang out' on any Asexual websites or things so I really don't know how common it is. I myself told my fiance early on because in my mind, if sex was one of the more important things to him and he didn't want to wait, we could break up then and it wouldn't hurt so much as if we were engaged and I told him then. I was very lucky that he wanted to stay with me and waited so patiently until I sorted out some of my problems so we can try it. He's a very good man :,).

And I dunno sometimes you just find people in the most unexpected of places. I met James at work actually. He is big into science, and he told me that I originally attracted him because he saw me  reading "Black Holes and Time Warps: Einstein's Outrageous Legacy" by Kip Thorne. And I saw that he was wearing a Metal Gear Solid shirt one day when he was putting together boxes to ship out clothes. I made a joke that the pile of Boxes was Solid Snake's Heaven and as horribly nerdy as that sounds, he said that day knew we were meant to be together.

He even asked my Grandmother's permission to ask me out. Hahaha!

So I say if you project the things that are important to you, someone will be bound to take notice. It may take some courage for them to talk to you, but If you give them a hand sometimes it turns out very well!

And I'm sorry we're dorks. :<

[Chaz]

It's funny how small the internet can be. I already knew Chaz's name from a mutual artist contact, and was rather surprised to hear him in the episode!

[snip]

I hope the interviewees don't mind me asking, but how common is behavior like this in the asexual community? Do you guys and girls feel like it's necessary to come out early in the dating process? How do you find other people who're sexually and emotionally compatible with you? I'm quite curious. :)

A mutual artist contact? :o Now you have me curious. I kinda recognise your name but I'm not quite sure who you are. I'm glad I could surprise you by showing up in the episode, though! OH! You mean Gab! It took me a while but I recognised your icon in the end, haha! I'm glad I surprised you by showing up, then!

(I still want to get on an episode of The F Plus proper as a guest reader but alas, I have yet to be called over. I was hoping the quicksand episode would be my chance since I submitted a lot of the content, but I was on holiday when they recorded it unfortunately.)

As for your question, I spent a brief stint on the AVEN forums (Which is why I was knowledgeable on the whole cake thing, weird as it is), and as far as I can tell it really varies from person to person. Some people prefer to come out early, others stay quiet about it until the subject is brought up.  I can't say whether or not it's very common. But yeah, I met Icarus and Keetah by chance! (Icarus got me into The F Plus after telling me about the creepypasta episode, and I subsequently got Keetah into it too!)

[Adept]

A mutual artist contact? :o Now you have me curious. I kinda recognise your name but I'm not quite sure who you are. I'm glad I could surprise you by showing up in the episode, though! OH! You mean Gab! It took me a while but I recognised your icon in the end, haha! I'm glad I surprised you by showing up, then!
...

Yep! That would be Gab. :D

I guess it doesn't sound like there's a major consensus. I'm glad things worked out for you, Keetah - he sounds like a keeper. And Chaz, it'd be awesome to hear you as a guest reader on The F Plus.

Thank you for the responses!

[fruit power]

Tumblr asexuals.

[icarus]

because love and sex are totally the same thing
>:(((((((
>:((((((((((((((((( tumblr asexuals

[JT]

Tumblr asexuals.

Fuck this plane of existence.

Oops, I mean curse this plane of existence. Y'know. Wouldn't want anyone getting confused.

[fluffy]

Nah, my first thought was "fuck that," too.  Sex and companionships/relationships aren't the same thing.

[Isfahan]

You know, Tumblr asexuals, some of us filthy sexuals spent Valentine's Day alone and perfectly content, too.

Yes... perfectly content...

OH ST. PAULI GIRL, IF ONLY YOU DELIVERED LOVE AS WELL AS YOU DELIVERED BUZZES

[fruit power]

You know, Tumblr asexuals, some of us filthy sexuals spent Valentine's Day alone and perfectly content, too.

Yes... perfectly content...

OH ST. PAULI GIRL, IF ONLY YOU DELIVERED LOVE AS WELL AS YOU DELIVERED BUZZES

Just make her your waifu. I hear it's even better than a real woman.

[Keetah Spacecat]

Hahaha I spent many a Valentines day alone and it never really bothered me. I just don't understand people frothing at the mouth over that day like UGH IT'S SLAPPING ME IN THE FACE AS A SINGLE/ASEXUAL PERSON. And it's like man, it's another day on the calender. It's not even a horrifying holiday like Columbus day or anything else.

I spent my Valentines day watching Nova and playing Magic the Gathering.

[Chaz]

Oh man, just found some gold on Furaffinity. A friend of mine posted a journal looking for suggestions for a list of "10 types of furry we love", essentially a list of types of people in the furry fandom who are actually decent people (Friendly commenters, commissioners who give generous tips to their artists, artists who put in way more work than they're paid for and don't mind at all, that kind of thing).

Second comment down a brony comes in and says, word-for-word, "How about asexual romantics who are just looking for love worth eventually giving in to? I'm hoping my type can make it onto the list."

I am simultaneously cracking up and wanting to punch this person for completely missing the point of the guy's list.

[Geremy Tibbles]

OH ST. PAULI GIRL, IF ONLY YOU DELIVERED LOVE AS WELL AS YOU DELIVERED BUZZES

I did a spit take, not gonna lie.