I knew a lawyer who spent a lot of time in the detention bunk when he was in law school. It really did a number on him. After a few years in practice, he got appointed to the bench, and now we call him…
But seriously, Chicken Smoothie is a never-ending font of insanity of the twelve-to-fourteen-year-old variety. If you plan on going on an expedition into the Heart That Is Totally Broken Forever of Darkness, you may want to know the following anthropological tips I've gleaned.
1. The online pets are sparkledogs and sparklehorses. They come in common, uncommon, and rare, just like your Magic cards did back in the day.
1.1. Signing up for more than one account would give you unfair access to extra sparklecreatures, so there's a One Account Per Person rule. Coincidentally, there are a lot of users who explain in their sigs that they have sisters who use the same computer as they do, occasionally log in on one another's accounts, and trade common pets for rares, but they're real sisters so please don't ban them!!!
1.2. Another way to try to get people to give you stuff is by announcing your Awareness Hoard. The reason why you want all the sparklewolves isn't for some petty or venal reason - it's because you're Raising Awareness about how all the woofs are going to DIE because humans are AWFUL.
1.2.1. There are a lot of wolfaboos. A lot.
2. Tess is the admin. Every roleplay will contain the words "All Tess rules apply" or some variant spelling thereof.
2.1. Tess is not a good admin, as evidenced by the following:
2.1.1. Mod sass is off the charts. Long ago, Tess introduced a "no slavery" rule in roleplaying, and after threads full of whining, she backed down. Now you can have slavery so long as it's family-friendly slavery (and you'll still find things like "is it OK to whip my slave in this RP?")
2.1.2. There is no restriction on bumping threads, which leads to tween girls posting messages that just say "bump" every 20 minutes or so.
2.1.3. There are no restrictions on the size of signature blocks. Enjoy those goddamn DeviantArt stamps, animated GIFs of My Chemical Romance, long blocks of non-metered poetry written in multiple text colors, and Unicode abuse.
3. The roleplaying forums are divided into Human-Realistic, Human-Fantasy, Animal-Realistic, and Animal-Fantasy. Threads are often described as "semi-literate." This is true, but in Chicken Smoothie speak, this means "your post should be at least one sentence long."
3.1. Human-Realistic consists largely of teen pregnancy, One Direction, and One Direction impregnating teens, with a few outliers, such as the law school RP, the occasional "pretend to be PewDiePie" threads, and this one I just found featuring scene kids in the Army (go to page 3 to see who will be defending your freedoms).
3.1.1. All the pictures people choose for their characters are scene kids, even if it's medieval or some shit.
3.2. Human-Fantasy is about scene kids who meet the X-Men, Harry Potter, or the Doctor.
3.3. Animal-Realistic threads usually feature somebody writing up a gigantic first post explaining that wolves can't talk, so here are some actions you can take and what they mean. Then everybody spends hundreds of pages writing ":growls:" and ":snifs tail:" at each other.
3.4. Animal-Fantasy is mostly about Warrior Cats. I am not sure what Warrior Cats are.
Enjoy your safari, and remember, they'll grow out of it (won't they?)