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Topic: Episode 109: Your Role Is Played Out  (Read 6288 times)

Lemon

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Episode 109: Your Role Is Played Out
with Boots Raingear, John, Acierocolotl, Isfahan, and Lemon.

Edited by Isfahan

Content for this episode was provided by Cheapskate

As modern people, it's easy for us to find our day to day lacking in dramatic moments. Of course, it could be up to all of us to go out in the world and find our own adventure, to live the life that each of us have been briefly allotted. The thing is though, finding our own adventure sometimes means losing your internet connection, so screw it. Outside is overrated anyway. And so say the members of Chicken Smoothie, a kid-friendly furry virtual-pet trading thingamajig with a very active community of role play forum posters. This week, there's no laws about The F Plus (just a long list of rules).

Lemon says: Sorry about my audio in the bumpers

Psammetichus

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Episode 109: Your Role Is Played Out #1
edit: I like MGMT.
« Last Edit: August 22, 2013, 02:02:10 am by Psammetichus »

TheCrawlingChaos

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Episode 109: Your Role Is Played Out #2
I'm fuckin' dying at the Detention Bunk here. It was funny enough the first time, but the way they just keep saying it... seriously, tears in my eyes here.

transatlanticalien

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Episode 109: Your Role Is Played Out #3
I am going to go get pregnant on the basis of Boots' suggestion

Cheapskate

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Episode 109: Your Role Is Played Out #4
I knew a lawyer who spent a lot of time in the detention bunk when he was in law school. It really did a number on him. After a few years in practice, he got appointed to the bench, and now we call him…

Judge Mental.

But seriously, Chicken Smoothie is a never-ending font of insanity of the twelve-to-fourteen-year-old variety. If you plan on going on an expedition into the Heart That Is Totally Broken Forever of Darkness, you may want to know the following anthropological tips I've gleaned.

1. The online pets are sparkledogs and sparklehorses. They come in common, uncommon, and rare, just like your Magic cards did back in the day.
1.1. Signing up for more than one account would give you unfair access to extra sparklecreatures, so there's a One Account Per Person rule. Coincidentally, there are a lot of users who explain in their sigs that they have sisters who use the same computer as they do, occasionally log in on one another's accounts, and trade common pets for rares, but they're real sisters so please don't ban them!!!
1.2. Another way to try to get people to give you stuff is by announcing your Awareness Hoard. The reason why you want all the sparklewolves isn't for some petty or venal reason - it's because you're Raising Awareness about how all the woofs are going to DIE because humans are AWFUL.
1.2.1. There are a lot of wolfaboos. A lot.
2. Tess is the admin. Every roleplay will contain the words "All Tess rules apply" or some variant spelling thereof.
2.1. Tess is not a good admin, as evidenced by the following:
2.1.1. Mod sass is off the charts. Long ago, Tess introduced a "no slavery" rule in roleplaying, and after threads full of whining, she backed down. Now you can have slavery so long as it's family-friendly slavery (and you'll still find things like "is it OK to whip my slave in this RP?")
2.1.2. There is no restriction on bumping threads, which leads to tween girls posting messages that just say "bump" every 20 minutes or so.
2.1.3. There are no restrictions on the size of signature blocks. Enjoy those goddamn DeviantArt stamps, animated GIFs of My Chemical Romance, long blocks of non-metered poetry written in multiple text colors, and Unicode abuse.
3. The roleplaying forums are divided into Human-Realistic, Human-Fantasy, Animal-Realistic, and Animal-Fantasy. Threads are often described as "semi-literate." This is true, but in Chicken Smoothie speak, this means "your post should be at least one sentence long."
3.1. Human-Realistic consists largely of teen pregnancy, One Direction, and One Direction impregnating teens, with a few outliers, such as the law school RP, the occasional "pretend to be PewDiePie" threads, and this one I just found featuring scene kids in the Army (go to page 3 to see who will be defending your freedoms).
3.1.1. All the pictures people choose for their characters are scene kids, even if it's medieval or some shit.
3.2. Human-Fantasy is about scene kids who meet the X-Men, Harry Potter, or the Doctor.
3.3. Animal-Realistic threads usually feature somebody writing up a gigantic first post explaining that wolves can't talk, so here are some actions you can take and what they mean. Then everybody spends hundreds of pages writing ":growls:" and ":snifs tail:" at each other.
3.4. Animal-Fantasy is mostly about Warrior Cats. I am not sure what Warrior Cats are.

Enjoy your safari, and remember, they'll grow out of it (won't they?)
Lemon Is It Normal this Disgusting Giant Sherman Tank

Isfahan

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Episode 109: Your Role Is Played Out #5
2.1.3. There are no restrictions on the size of signature blocks. Enjoy those goddamn DeviantArt stamps, animated GIFs of My Chemical Romance, long blocks of non-metered poetry written in multiple text colors, and Unicode abuse.Cheapskate, August 16, 2013, 07:23:18 am

I believe you. There are about three to five chunks of dead air edited out of the dog role-play section. This dead air was us just trying to find the fucking text we're supposed to be reading because toxic-wolf and one of the other posters had goddamn horrific huge gif-laden signatures that show on every single post they make. There would be one or two lines of text sandwiched between monolithic matrices of sparkly gifs and pictures of dogs with wings Photoshopped onto them.

I was going to roll my eyes at the military-service RP but then I read the original post and it seems it's still about relationship drama, like every other role-play ever—not so much about military service itself.
« Last Edit: August 16, 2013, 10:43:32 am by Isfahan »

Goose Goose Honk At Me Now

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Episode 109: Your Role Is Played Out #6
That one girl showing off her Teenage Pregnancy to be mean to the other girl sure was... a thing that happened.

Like, part of me wants to be kind of pleased that everyone's first reaction isn't shame and shunning, but what the actual fuck?

Isfahan

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Episode 109: Your Role Is Played Out #7
Like I said in the episode, it's very telling of the writer's age and maturity level that she equates pregnancy with superiority. Teenagers want to race to adulthood, to do adult things and have adult experiences. The disconnect is that this person is still at the developmental stage which glorifies things like pregnancy, because it's still so awesome and mysterious to her. So yeah, I would not be surprised to learn that an actual eighth-grader wrote this story. This story in which an eighth-grader is jealous of another eighth-grader's pregnancy.

montrith

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Episode 109: Your Role Is Played Out #8
From the army game thread.

~Young Girl~Beeyonca~ Played by~jesus4ever

jesus4ever has every single Portal meme ever created in her signature.

Lemon, I hate to break this to you, but we do in fact have a roleplaying forum. It's just that ours is the kind where you move little figurines of elves and dwarfs and the occasional octopus around while pretending to throw magic spells at a dragon.
Adept chai tea latte Bobalay

Runic

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Episode 109: Your Role Is Played Out #9
I believe that the technical term is Walktopus.

Adept

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Episode 109: Your Role Is Played Out #10
Lemon, I hate to break this to you, but we do in fact have a roleplaying forum. It's just that ours is the kind where you move little figurines of elves and dwarfs and the occasional octopus around while pretending to throw magic spells at a dragon.
montrith, August 16, 2013, 03:34:23 pm

Yeah Lemon. Cut it with the geek erasure. You're triggering my headmate!

advancedclass

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Episode 109: Your Role Is Played Out #11
I don't know, guys. I mean, that dog roleplay was pretty realistic - dogs don't talk, they're obsessed with butts, and they have really poor attention spans, making them terrible secret agents.

Based on that I have to assume everything else was 100% accurate. I'm glad I finally know just how weird American law school is - it explains so much about the American justice system.

Alpha Starsquatch

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Episode 109: Your Role Is Played Out #12
The detention bunker makes me think of Bunker 13 from the Bad Sex In Fiction episode. I'm guessing this is where the Nazi dominatrix has been hiding this whole time.

JT

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Episode 109: Your Role Is Played Out #13
What was that image you guys were talking about in the intro bumper?

PurpleXVI

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Episode 109: Your Role Is Played Out #14
One of my favourite episodes in a while, absolutely, the terribly-written high school roleplay that started things off was the best, though. I don't know about everyone else, but it always makes me giggle when you guys read badly written stuff exactly-as-written, complete with typos and misuse of words.