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Topic: CTRL+V and post it  (Read 109536 times)

A Meat

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« Reply #825 on: September 24, 2018, 03:26:00 pm »
The quantum matrix is approaching a tipping point. We are being called to explore the galaxy itself as an interface between potentiality and consciousness. It is time to take science to the next level.

Spooks

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« Reply #826 on: September 30, 2018, 03:37:55 am »
At Olympic National Park in the state of Washington, hundreds of mountain goats are being airlifted by helicopter and moved to forests in the North Cascades. The reason? They’re too thirsty for human piss.

Spooks

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« Reply #827 on: September 30, 2018, 06:14:09 am »
xxFoxyTrumpxx: ASL?

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xxFoxyTrumpxx: arms nukes r u ready? nuzzles ur pyongyang

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Runic

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« Reply #828 on: October 06, 2018, 12:26:02 pm »
It was The Gospel from Outer Space, by Kilgore Trout. It was about a visitor from outer space, shaped very much like a Tralfamadorian, by the way. The visitor from outer space made a serious study of Christianity, to learn, if he could, why Christians found it so easy to be cruel. He concluded that at least part of the trouble was slipshod storytelling in the New Testament. He supposed that the intent of the Gospels was to teach people, among other things, to be merciful, even to the lowest of the low.

But the Gospels actually taught this:

Before you kill somebody, make absolutely sure he isn't well connected. So it goes.

The flaw in the Christ stories, said the visitor from outer space, was that Christ, who didn't look like much, was actually the Son of the Most Powerful Being of the Universe. Readers understood that, so, when they came to the crucifixion, they naturally thought, and Rosewater read out loud again:

Oh, boy -- they sure picked the wrong guy to lynch that time!

And then that thought had a brother: "There are right people to lynch." Who? People not well connected. So it goes.

The visitor from outer space made a gift to Earth of a new Gospel. In it, Jesus really was a nobody, and a pain in the neck to a lot of people with better connections than he had. He still got to say all the lovely and puzzling things he said in the other Gospels.

So the people amused themselves one day by nailing him to a cross and planting the cross in the ground. There couldn't possibly be any repercussions, the lynchers thought. The reader would have to think that, too, since the new Gospel hammered home again and again what a nobody Jesus was.

And then, just before the nobody died, the heavens opened up, and there was thunder and lightning. The voice of God came crashing down. He told the people that he was adopting the bum as his son, giving him the full powers and privileges of The Son of the Creator of the Universe throughout all eternity. God said this: From this moment on, He will punish horribly anybody who torments a bum who has no connections!

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Frank West

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« Reply #831 on: October 11, 2018, 12:27:34 am »
A student and his master were making pilgrimage through a village. The student noticed a middle-aged couple cuddling on a bench and, desiring to show his attainment, stated "It is good to cuddle if you've been in a long relationship. That is what is sexy."

The master, who had been walking quietly, said nothing. Suddenly, he whacked the student in the balls. This made the student angry, but he kept his peace.

Later, they passed a young couple making out. The student, desiring to make up for his previous failure, stated "It is good to kiss after a first date. That is what is sexy." The master, again, whacked the student in the balls.

As they neared the exit to the village, they came upon 2 men and 2 women engaged in a frenzied orgy in the middle of the path. The student, now fearful of his master's punishments, said nothing, and stepped around the orgy. The master again whacked him in the balls. This made the student collapse in pain, and he implored the master "why have you hit me, I have said nothing!"

The master looked down and said "That is what is sexy."
Shell Game AgentCoop Vinny Possum chai tea latte

Spooks

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« Reply #832 on: October 12, 2018, 02:48:49 pm »
Topics pornoise, gorenoise, hardpornnoise,

fuck your mouth is a conceptual piece of audio art, split in three main parts: fuck, your and mouth. the strong message is accompagnied by pornographic front and back covers. adult entertainment by the head of justnoiseit. enjoy the last day!

Vinny Possum

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« Reply #833 on: October 12, 2018, 04:36:44 pm »
Topics pornoise, gorenoise, hardpornnoise,

fuck your mouth is a conceptual piece of audio art, split in three main parts: fuck, your and mouth. the strong message is accompagnied by pornographic front and back covers. adult entertainment by the head of justnoiseit. enjoy the last day!

So... 2018.flac?

And your Sherman Tank was burned.So we amputated it too.

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« Reply #834 on: October 12, 2018, 06:50:13 pm »
A Meat

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« Reply #835 on: October 13, 2018, 11:01:52 pm »
My idea for a spin-off podcast.  Portaxx and Isfahan look at pictures of pokemon.  Portaxx enthuses about how adorable they are, Isfahan explains in detail which guns they could and could not hold.

"This is dratini, it's a tiny dragon and its adorable," "yes, but it could never hold an AK, or really any long-arm."
H.P. Corn Syrup Shell Game cat_examiner chai tea latte

And your Sherman Tank was burned.So we amputated it too.

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« Reply #836 on: October 20, 2018, 05:14:05 pm »
American crocodiles are known predators of lemon sharks, and sharks avoid areas with American crocodiles. Nonetheless, a single recorded fatality was reported for a small adult American crocodile when a great white shark killed the crocodile as it was swimming out at sea.

Spooks

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« Reply #837 on: October 29, 2018, 08:59:30 pm »
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Carbon

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« Reply #838 on: December 11, 2018, 11:26:24 am »
all the socratic goons were probably just standing around hooting and hollering yelling WOOOOOORLDSTAAAAAAAAAR as Socrates talked to someone's dad in a stern tone
AgentCoop

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« Reply #839 on: Yesterday at 10:18:49 pm »
The fact that so many books still name the Beatles as "the greatest or most significant or most influential" rock band ever only tells you how far rock music still is from becoming a serious art. Jazz critics have long recognized that the greatest jazz musicians of all times are Duke Ellington and John Coltrane, who were not the most famous or richest or best sellers of their times, let alone of all times. Classical critics rank the highly controversial Beethoven over classical musicians who were highly popular in courts around Europe. Rock critics are still blinded by commercial success. The Beatles sold more than anyone else (not true, by the way), therefore they must have been the greatest. Jazz critics grow up listening to a lot of jazz music of the past, classical critics grow up listening to a lot of classical music of the past. Rock critics are often totally ignorant of the rock music of the past, they barely know the best sellers. No wonder they will think that the Beatles did anything worthy of being saved.
AgentCoop