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Topic: 196: Made With Mechanically Separated Podcast Parts  (Read 10820 times)

Lemon

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As someone who didn't know what Velveeta was, fuck you. Fuck
Fanzay, December 07, 2015, 01:28:56 pm

Here's the thing:

It pains me to say this, but I actually really like (and prefer) Velvetta in a couple situations. The Velveeta & Ro-Tel thing Nutshell mentioned is disturbingly tasty, and it's one of those products that doesn't work nearly as well with honest cheese. And Cheez Whiz (which is basically the same product) has a similar connection to Philly Cheese Steak. A Jucy Lucy needs something fake inside of it too.

The thing about Velveeta is, it's fake and it tastes fake, but the artificiality gives it a cooking texture which is kind of ideal in a lot of cases. You know the consistency of a room temperature brie? That's easy to reproduce if your "cheese" was invented in a food science lab in the 20's.

Intellectually, I recognize that "processed cheese food" is a crime. But I'm a cheese slut and I find it hard to discriminate.
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AgentCoop

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As someone who didn't know what Velveeta was, fuck you. Fuck
Fanzay, December 07, 2015, 01:28:56 pm

Here's the thing:

It pains me to say this, but I actually really like (and prefer) Velvetta in a couple situations. The Velveeta & Ro-Tel thing Nutshell mentioned is disturbingly tasty, and it's one of those products that doesn't work nearly as well with honest cheese. And Cheez Whiz (which is basically the same product) has a similar connection to Philly Cheese Steak. A Jucy Lucy needs something fake inside of it too.

The thing about Velveeta is, it's fake and it tastes fake, but the artificiality gives it a cooking texture which is kind of ideal in a lot of cases. You know the consistency of a room temperature brie? That's easy to reproduce if your "cheese" was invented in a food science lab in the 20's.

Intellectually, I recognize that "processed cheese food" is a crime. But I'm a cheese slut and I find it hard to discriminate.
Lemon, December 07, 2015, 01:57:29 pm
I was actually about to come in and defend Velveta. Sometimes you've gotta make some bizzare combination of Nacho's, Mac and Cheese, and hot dish casserole, and you sure as fuck ain't gonna slice or grate up a nice block of cheese

Is It Normal this Disgusting Giant Sherman Tank

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There's a trick to making fun of things like Velveeta without sounding like a horrible snob, and The F Plus does a great job of focusing on utterly nauseating concoctions instead of just turning their collective noses up at the plebians who don't grow their own everything or only buy free-range organic etc things that cost way to goddamned much.

Acierocolotl

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Fucking masterful Kumquatting on the part of Jack Chick, here. JalapeŮo bacon margaritas. Of course! [freakout]
Gyro, December 07, 2015, 08:50:04 am
(That was me.  Sssh.)

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Itís a shame the Hormel site didnít include any of the winners of our annual SPAM cook-off.

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I'm not against Velveeta for the sake of being against Velveeta (and I am totally guilty of eating a Grilled Kraft Single Sandwich or two), but Velveeta "fudge" with 2 pounds of icing sugar (spoilers!) goes beyond lazy Sunday casserole and straight into culinary hell.

Also, Lemon already used "Crap Kraft Dinner" as the ending song for the ranch dressing episode, so my faith in the science of podcasting has now been shaken to its core.

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The Ultimate Recipe

LINDA

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I skipped lunch because of this episode. I couldn't entertain the thought of eating food after the velveeta fudge.

Lemon

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Also, Lemon already used "Crap Kraft Dinner"Dawnswalker, December 07, 2015, 05:38:11 pm

"Let's see, uh... Weapon of Choice? Wait no, Remix To Ignition and... Oh! Crap Kraft Dinner! I may have already used that before though..."
-search
"Yup... But that was years ago and this episode is literally about a crap Kraft dinner, so in it goes!"

strifeheart

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A Jucy Lucy needs something fake inside of it too.
Lemon, December 07, 2015, 01:57:29 pm
Whoa, let's not go crazy here.

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KnitOneKillTwo, December 07, 2015, 05:42:37 pm

Literally the only way that shit could kill you faster is if you shoved it directly into your aorta.

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KnitOneKillTwo, December 07, 2015, 05:42:37 pm

From the reviews section:

"I have made this recipe three times so far, including Christmas day. It was well received by both kids and adults. It has such rich, homey flavor and texture. Its a side dish that teams up with any meat or fish. Put this on your table and receive those ooh's and aah's!!!"

Happy birthday, Jesus.
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KnitOneKillTwo, December 07, 2015, 05:42:37 pm

The only reason I could think to call it "The Ultimate Recipe" is because there's a serial killer out there digging deep holes, trapping people in them, and spilling tray after tray of hot shitty macaroni and cheese onto their heads until they drown

montrith

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Incidentally, there was a Mac & Cheese Pizza recipe in the doc, and Lemon's twitter is full of fucking lies.

jack chick

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If you get a Philly Steak and don't get cheez whiz you should be thrown into a woodchipper.

We find you unworthy of the gift of life.