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Topic: You wake up tomorrow morning and  (Read 558 times)

Lemon

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You wake up tomorrow morning and
« on: June 27, 2018, 02:48:15 pm »
Bleary eyed, you prop yourself up on your elbows and look around the room, specifically the totality of the bed you're currently in. There lying next to you, still sound asleep, is a man who looks rather post-coital and whom, you immediately remark to yourself, "that sure does like Kid Rock". You stare for a moment longer and think "like a lot. This guy looks a lot like Kid Rock."

Now is not the time for you to think about how you got into this situation, that's something you'll have to deal with later, and you'll have plenty of time for that. But in this moment, two possibilities loom in your mind:
  • You just had sex with Kid Rock
  • You just had sex with a guy who looks identical to Kid Rock, and who might be a Kid Rock impersonator
In this last quiet moment you have to yourself before waking him, which do you hope it will be?
Achilles' Heelies chai tea latte Frank West
« Last Edit: June 27, 2018, 02:58:11 pm by Lemon »

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You wake up tomorrow morning and
« Reply #1 on: June 27, 2018, 03:00:53 pm »
Well, whatever downward spiral has led me to hunt down Kid Rock clones in what would probably be some sort of horse barn converted into a country dance bar on a Saturday night, I'd take my chances with the impersonator. Because although I don't know his personality or politics (outlook is poor, he impersonates Kid Rock), I know for damn sure the actual Kid Rock is a piece of shit. Also the actual Kid Rock is used to overeager groupies, so he probably wouldn't be that equitable in bed.
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You wake up tomorrow morning and
« Reply #2 on: June 27, 2018, 03:12:15 pm »
Option 2; that way lies hope.

GirlKisser420

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You wake up tomorrow morning and
« Reply #3 on: June 27, 2018, 05:01:29 pm »
i'm going to jail, that lying bastard told me they were Adult Rock
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You wake up tomorrow morning and
« Reply #4 on: June 27, 2018, 05:49:38 pm »
i'm going to jail, that lying bastard told me they were Adult Rock

Jail Bait Rock
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You wake up tomorrow morning and
« Reply #5 on: June 27, 2018, 09:25:15 pm »
Option one is the only one that allows me create a world where Kid Rock doesn't exist and will go down in history as having died from autoerotic asphyxiation jacking it to Brickleberry rule 34.
« Last Edit: June 27, 2018, 09:28:01 pm by Seth "Slimy" Rollins »

jack chick

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« Reply #6 on: June 27, 2018, 09:30:33 pm »
this scenario is completely unbelievable and thus i refuse to partake.

uncle kracker on the other hand...
AgentCoop

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« Reply #7 on: June 28, 2018, 12:54:46 am »
to be honest, I would probably fail to recognize either of them, since I only have the vaguest idea of what Kid Rock looks like nowadays, I'm gonna assume he looks like he did 15 years ago, but more like a zombie

Jackal Flapnasty

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« Reply #8 on: June 28, 2018, 03:15:03 am »
I mean it's not Chuck from the Circle K's fault that he looks exactly like Kid Rock. He could do a better job of shaving if it really bothered him though.

Wrought

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« Reply #9 on: June 28, 2018, 08:47:19 am »
I hope it's Kid Rock because what's done is done and having sex with Kid Rock is a lot funnier than having sex with a guy that looks like Kid Rock
Lemon chai tea latte

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« Reply #10 on: June 28, 2018, 09:53:22 am »
Option 2 where he wakes up and reveals that the real Kid Rock died years ago and that the government is covering it up for reasons of national security. Also they’re using clones?

Frank West

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You wake up tomorrow morning and
« Reply #11 on: June 28, 2018, 12:03:11 pm »
I look into the mirror and, uh oh, what's this, I ALSO look like Kid Rock! Oh no!
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Vinny Possum

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« Reply #12 on: June 30, 2018, 02:26:51 am »
I look into the mirror and, uh oh, what's this, I ALSO look like Kid Rock! Oh no!

Then the other kid rock explodes and you wait for someone else to enter the inescapable death chamber

Victor Laszlo

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« Reply #13 on: June 30, 2018, 02:11:09 pm »
The impersonator, because I can chalk that one up to beer goggles.  If it's the actual Kid Rock that means beer goggles AND a brain tumor.
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« Reply #14 on: July 14, 2018, 08:44:54 am »
Either way they're getting smothered by a pillow
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