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Topic: 'Twas The Night of Jack Chickmas  (Read 1910 times)

Lemon

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'Twas The Night of Jack Chickmas
Neal Wrought Boots Raingear Small Purge of my Angry Sherman Tank AgentCoop Achilles' Heelies Eider Duck Shigan chai tea latte Vinny Possum GirlKisser420 Shell Game Captain Nobeard Degen Novel from Upcountry stupidname Sovereign Ambious ikaribattousai Sauce cat_examiner Bodark CHUDsMcKenzie Liatai
« Last Edit: August 15, 2018, 12:31:45 pm by Lemon »

Small Purge of my Angry Sherman Tank

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'Twas The Night of Jack Chickmas #1
Sweet Jesus, Jack.

EDIT: Twas the night before tag suggestions and "christmas", "drunks", "literature", "nerds", "pop culture", "soul destroying" and to all a good night.
Eider Duck

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'Twas The Night of Jack Chickmas #2
Jack Chick finally gets some alone time to do what he loves most in the world
Boots Raingear Eider Duck Small Purge of my Angry Sherman Tank

Sham bam bamina!

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'Twas The Night of Jack Chickmas #3
I'm just happy that the typo in the title got fixed so quickly.

cat_examiner

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'Twas The Night of Jack Chickmas #4
what the fuck

edit: oh fuck its real

Boots Raingear Small Purge of my Angry Sherman Tank Eider Duck jack chick Liatai
« Last Edit: August 15, 2018, 07:45:58 pm by cat_examiner »

KingKalamari

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'Twas The Night of Jack Chickmas #5
Twas the night before Jack Chickmas
And all through the site
Not a creature was stirring
Except for Jack Chick because he was reading terrible poetry for The F Plus
Small Purge of my Angry Sherman Tank Sham bam bamina! Ambious

LaserSeusan

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'Twas The Night of Jack Chickmas #6
Twas the night before Jack Chickmas
And all through the site
Not a creature was stirring
Except for Jack Chick because he was reading terrible poetry for The F Plus
KingKalamari, August 15, 2018, 08:17:18 pm

The words were all written without prose or good rhyme,
not even good stanza which Jack thought was a monstrosity

SATAN MILKSHAKE

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'Twas The Night of Jack Chickmas #7
twas the night of getting drunk for jack
and reading poems pulled from a buttcrack
he drank so much whiskey we'll never get him back
but at least we got a fun episode out of it

stupidname

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'Twas The Night of Jack Chickmas #8
Look at the other people in this thread, doing things in half measures. I only put zero effort into fourteen lines and those were so that I could insult Cat Examiner.

'Twas the night of Jack Chickmas, when thro' the podcast;
Not a person was listening, not even Frank West;
The readings were hung in the hopper with care,
In hopes a ridiculist soon would be there;

The readers were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of sissykiss lurked in their heads
And Jack in his t-shirt, with liquor in hand,
dwelled on what he could not understand—‌

When out on the speaker arose such a clatter,
He sprang from his thoughts to see what was the matter.
Away to the keyboard he flew like a flash,
Woke up the monitor, and saw some new trash.

The site had new documents it wished to show,
Giving terrible light to “art” from below;
When, what to Jack's wondering eyes should appear,
But his favorite poem about reindeer,
with anapestic meter, lively and quick,
He knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.

But changes abounded, for obsessed nerds came
And altered the poems with topics, to name:
“Now! Tracer, now! Shopper, now! Endor and German,
“On! Lifter, on! Furries, on! Reform and Ryan;
"To the top of reddit! To the top of my wall!
"Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"

As Pringles from their new spring-loaded-can fly,
When that invention launches them to the sky;
So Icarus-like these poems they flew,
With contrived scansion—‌and St. Nicholas too:
And then with a mis-step, they give us proof
that poems have rules, as they crash and cry “Oof”.

As Jack read out the doc, and was pouring a drink,
Outside Cat Examiner stopped to think:
He was dress'd all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnish'd with ashes and soot;
A bundle of toys was flung on his back,
And he look'd like a peddler just opening his pack:
His eyes‍—‌how they twinkled! His dimples: how merry,
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry;
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow;
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.
He had a broad face, and a little round belly
That shook when he laugh'd, like a bowl full of jelly:
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And He laugh'd when he saw his new self;
For before he had an idea into his head
To prepare a set of poems to be read.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
Searched Reddit; keeping eye out for a jerk,
Reading through his verse, at first he was glad,
but parodies began to drive him quite mad.
His Santa-kin self like a Juggalo grew,
until it became all Examiner knew:
For now he exclaimed, to drive others from sight‍—‌
Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night.
Lemon SATAN MILKSHAKE Boots Raingear GirlKisser420 Sovereign Eider Duck Sham bam bamina! Wrought ikaribattousai Achilles' Heelies Vinny Possum AgentCoop KingKalamari cat_examiner LaserSeusan Dawnswalker jack chick chai tea latte Corn Syrup Small Purge of my Angry Sherman Tank CHUDsMcKenzie Liatai
« Last Edit: August 15, 2018, 10:25:52 pm by stupidname »

Sovereign

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'Twas The Night of Jack Chickmas #9
Look at the other people in this thread, doing things in half measures. I only put zero effort into fourteen lines and those were so that I could insult Cat Examiner.

'Twas the night of Jack Chickmas, when thro' the podcast;
Not a person was listening, not even Frank West;
The readings were hung in the hopper with care,
In hopes a ridiculist soon would be there;

The readers were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of sissykiss lurked in their heads
And Jack in his t-shirt, with liquor in hand,
dwelled on what he could not understand—‌

When out on the speaker arose such a clatter,
He sprang from his thoughts to see what was the matter.
Away to the keyboard he flew like a flash,
Woke up the monitor, and saw some new trash.

The site had new documents it wished to show,
Giving terrible light to “art” from below;
When, what to Jack's wondering eyes should appear,
But his favorite poem about reindeer,
with anapestic meter, lively and quick,
He knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.

But changes abounded, for obsessed nerds came
And altered the poems with topics, to name:
“Now! Tracer, now! Shopper, now! Endor and German,
“On! Lifter, on! Furries, on! Reform and Ryan;
"To the top of reddit! To the top of my wall!
"Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"

As Pringles from their new spring-loaded-can fly,
When that invention launches them to the sky;
So Icarus-like these poems they flew,
With contrived scansion—‌and St. Nicholas too:
And then with a mis-step, they give us proof
that poems have rules, as they crash and cry “Oof”.

As Jack read out the doc, and was pouring a drink,
Outside Cat Examiner stopped to think:
He was dress'd all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnish'd with ashes and soot;
A bundle of toys was flung on his back,
And he look'd like a peddler just opening his pack:
His eyes‍—‌how they twinkled! His dimples: how merry,
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry;
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow;
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.
He had a broad face, and a little round belly
That shook when he laugh'd, like a bowl full of jelly:
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And He laugh'd when he saw his new self;
For before he had an idea into his head
To prepare a set of poems to be read.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
Searched Reddit; keeping eye out for a jerk,
Reading through his verse, at first he was glad,
but parodies began to drive him quite mad.
His Santa-kin self like a Juggalo grew,
until it became all Examiner knew:
For now he exclaimed, to drive others from sight‍—‌
Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night.
stupidname, August 15, 2018, 10:15:28 pm
I'm starting a petition to have this etched into Jack Chick's headstone.

Ambious

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'Twas The Night of Jack Chickmas #10
Me listening to the intro: Fuck yeah, Jack Chick solo episode, this is gonna be awesome!!!
Me at ~01:39 as soon as Jack Chick starts reading the actual fucking poem: FUCK!
Sovereign Sham bam bamina! Wrought cat_examiner chai tea latte krytton Liatai

Sovereign

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'Twas The Night of Jack Chickmas #11
Me listening to the intro: Fuck yeah, Jack Chick solo episode, this is gonna be awesome!!!
Me at ~01:39 as soon as Jack Chick starts reading the actual fucking poem: FUCK!
Ambious, August 16, 2018, 01:45:32 am

Me at approximately 44:23

Ambious

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'Twas The Night of Jack Chickmas #12
I gotta say, it's hard to decide which was worst

The WoW:Legion one in the beginning is a contender for sure though
Wrought Ambious krytton

rhorsman

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'Twas The Night of Jack Chickmas #13
I'm only 10 minutes in and I'm ready to hang myself by the chimney with care.
Lemon Seth "Slimy" Rollins Sovereign Corn Syrup TheCrawlingChaos Adam Bozarth AgentCoop Sham bam bamina! cat_examiner Wrought jack chick chai tea latte ikaribattousai Small Purge of my Angry Sherman Tank Wyst Shell Game Nikaer Drekin Bodark Ambious

TheCrawlingChaos

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'Twas The Night of Jack Chickmas #14
Is is possible to die of second-hand embarrassment? Asking for a friend.