Roleplay Porn! (NSFW)

[gee golly gosh]

Gdoc link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1F3d4akNGotI5j-aGeh8eaGS30nzgN-vcJnCg49-NMGQ/edit

Pointless preamble:

I realize that 'this is not my submission, I'm just posting it for a friend!' sounds really suspect, especially given the nature of this material, but you guys are going to have to go with me here!

Journal-based RP is my shameful internet past time. I don't know why I get so much enjoyment out of taking a canon character I like, creating a journal for them, and then seeing that character meet and interact with other characters. It's kind of like writing a collaborative crossover fic except that you don't know where it's going. Sometimes the combination of characters can result in hilarious relationships, make you view a favourite series from a new perspective or introduce you to new series that you really want to read/watch.

And sometimes you get cringe-worthy smut threads, devoid of taste, characterization and knowledge of human anatomy.

I became aware that Eski was preparing this submission when she put out a call on plurk to try and track down one of the threads in her document. I don't know why I am so eager to have people make fun of a hobby I enjoy, but when I saw it in the rejected part of the spreadsheet I asked if she'd be okay with me putting her submission up here for people's enjoyment/confusion/revulsion. She said 'go ahead and post just tell me what people say.' So, that's what I'm doing! Though, if you'd like to contact Eski directly her plurk is http://www.plurk.com/Eskiwen.

Enjoy!

[Goose Goose Honk At Me Now]

Tifa's body shoke and jerked

Shoke! That's almost as good as "flang"!

the audible "gorsh" or a cock entering her pussy

GOOFY NO D8

[gee golly gosh]

GOOFY NO D8

I did not want that mental image.

[montrith]

Well, thanks. Be right be, just going to go and vomit now.

[Xenomantid]

Note that the woman's husband in the last sample was, among his other salient qualities, a "viscous" man, so he was possibly a brutal, tyrannical slime mold transmogrified into human shape.

Thank you so much--sincerely, not sarcastically--for sharing these entries with us. They make me want to go to the_love_hotel, create an account for, say, C-3PO or Galloway Gallegher, and just see what sort of depraved direction other people take it in.

[gee golly gosh]

Not C-3PO!

On the one hand, yes, hilarious, and I am pretty sure (or at least would like to think) that a percentage of characters played at the love hotel or sex-orientated games is someone going 'what would happen if--'

On the other: http://bad-rpers-suck.livejournal.com/8700347.html#comments

This is a post made to lj community bad_rpers_suck! It's a place for role-players of all kinds (forum, tabletop, IM, tumblr and journal-based) to rant about the problems they encounter pursuing their pretendy fun times. I recommend checking it out -- some of the posts are valid complaints, some are hilarious sagas of tabletop campaigns gone amazingly wrong, and some are thinly veiled vehicles for the posters PA. But the reason I'm linking this particular post:

My OC is a highly advanced cyborg and as the anatomy of a Barrie doll stands eight feet tall and looks like an anthro space shuttle.  That is asexual.

I figured playing her would give me a break from the creepers and get a chance to flesh her out some. Guess I was wrong.

According to this idiot,  my OC's lack of boobs means she cant be female at all.  She has to have breasts........and can't be asexual either. Because asexuals don't exist. Same person thinks they have a right to the woman parts of every female on the board because he's the Admin and has the right to god mod groping and forcing female characters against the wall. Including mine even though my character far outweighs his all of his cardboard cutout Stus.

Nope, can't have an asexual character ever because we all know all RP has to be about one character screwing another. How dare someone want character or plot development
Needless to say I packed up and left that sandbox pretty damn fast.

Part of me was very tempted to allow his Stus to try and make out with her, after all with her weight she's crack their pelvis or it would be like a hot dog down the hall way to her. I can honestly see her lying there reading going "Are you done yet? Are you done yet?" It would be oddly amusing to her.

OC = Original character.

[Goose Goose Honk At Me Now]

After reading the last part of the doc twice (out of sheer confusion), I still can't picture what position they're in, because apparently both her breasts and her back are on the floor. Either she's got back tits or some rubber-ass titties.

[Xenomantid]

After reading the last part of the doc twice (out of sheer confusion), I still can't picture what position they're in, because apparently both her breasts and her back are on the floor. Either she's got back tits or some rubber-ass titties.

Try reading the works of the Marquis de Sade. By comparison, roleplay porn will be lucid afterward.

And gee golly gosh, I'm a member of bad_rpers_suck, although I never post there. The stories I read while visiting the community were proved sufficiently entertaining for me to join, even though they dissuaded me from trying role-playing. Frankly, the number of complaints about mods and other players abusing the format for the purposes of sexual harassment, such as the one you quoted, scared me off from trying the hobby with anyone except the members of my science fiction club. Poor Bouncy_bo will probably never play at the_love_hotel now.

[gee golly gosh]

Xenomantid, what's funny about that is that I joined bad_rpers_suck way back when I was trying to decide whether RP was the right internet hobby for me, and I found the community really reassuring. The fail was so obvious that I was pretty confident that I knew the warning signs to look for in my RP partners, and the OP must be having fun to keep on with this hobby, so I figured that as long as I made sure not to do any of the things I saw complained about on the comm, I should be fine.

And I am! Mostly. Only once have I had the experience of seeing a game I was playing in appear on bad_rpers_suck, and it was good to know that I wasn't the only one who was questioning certain players' choices. I've never had reason to make a post there, and while there has been drama I've been caught up in and I've done a couple of over dramatic stupid things I've regretted later, I can take pride in the fact that I am comparatively not terrible!

Kind of the same reason I listen to the f+ 

[Delcat]

I love bad_rpers_suck, and bad RP.  Thank you for the doc, triple-G!

This is why I only roleplay one-on-one--not because my writing is any better, but because it creates a Cold War death pact on releasing that terrible writing to anyone else.  If one of us decides to drop a "Here's a godawful Mary Sue scebe from when X was fourteen" bomb on the Internet, the other one can whip around and volley back, and so on and so forth until nuclear winter sets in.  No deleting everything, no covering tracks, just out-and-out War Games.  I like those odds.

(For the sake of clarity, my campaign is not a porn campaign, it's about cults and stuff.  Sex happens, but it's not the main gist, and it also does not involve C-3PO.)

ETA: (Not to say that porn campaigns are bad.)

ETAA: (Unless they involve C-3PO.)