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June 22, 2021, 08:28:37 am

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91
Jun 8 04:55pm

F Plus Quotes Thread (post #1225)

"I'll fuck you dry, I'm Australian."
92
Jun 8 02:54pm
César Cui, beyond being a prolific composer who was part of the Russian classical musical clique The Five (with Mussorgsky, Balakirev, Rimsky-Korsakov and Borodin) and a being music critic was apparently an Engineer-General in the Imperial Russian Army, which is a full fledged general. You were supposed to address him as Your High Excellency, which is apparently impossibly long in Russian (Ваше Высокопревосходительство, or transliterated as Vashe Vysokoprevoskhoditelstvo)
93
Jun 8 02:30pm
Oh cool you guys have found a new insecurity for me!
94
Jun 8 12:56pm
I wouldn't call myself the resident ballpit cum expert (although what a title to put on a resume!) but it strikes me as a thing where, like, there's a taste, there has to be a smell on some level?
95
Jun 8 12:47pm

CTRL+V and post it (post #1168)

And as a short rebuttal to the people who say “some MREs are actually good!”

Imagine for a solid month you have a “choice” between a whopping 24 menu items, most of which, besides the entrees, are recycled between each other. But wait! Your supply chain didn’t give a shit enough to mix up the cases, so you got only cases of menu A. Tough shit, you have like 8 choices for 3 meals a day for a month. It’s probably hot as fuck, so you get to drink hot water out of a plastic canteen with grit and too much chlorine.

You do this a couple weeks every month, and then shit a loaf of pure malice. This turd is so hard, Wolverine would dull his claws trying to cut them.

“Gents,” your command says, “we are going to work through our meals so we can get home faster,” he says. It’s a bold lie. You get you sad little bags and you stay late anyway because someone cannot fathom how to do basic shit.

Basically, dudes on YouTube who eat one once and say “That ain’t bad, dunno why everyone bitches about them” is like me picking up a clamp and putting it on my finger and saying “Yeah, cock and ball torture doesn’t seem so bad. The clamp isn’t even that tight!”

And any hard charging, war fighting, 29% APR on a 2010 mustang driving, stripper marrying jackass that wants to come in here and say they aren’t that bad, fuck you too. You don’t like them, just admit they suck.
96
Jun 8 12:21pm
"Hey baby, you wanna cum next to this weird tree? I need to see if it smells the same."
97
Jun 8 11:02am
since when did cum have a smell strong enough to compare to a tree? genuinely, what the fuck?
i guess it would smell if it dried (eugh) but i don't know nor do i want to know what that smell is.

that could be a good pickup line. "hey baby, i've never smelled cum before. can i smell yours?"
use that on someone and if it gets you laid please let me know. thanks.
98
Jun 8 05:52am
The Callery Pear tree also smells like cum, but that one doesn't have a Mitchell and Webb sketch about it

99
Jun 8 04:46am
imagine not knowing this and walking through the forest and just smelling jizz wafting through the air
100
Jun 8 04:36am
american linden trees, according to some, have a cum smell when blooming though in cowardly/'academic' descriptions it's usually just referred to as 'earthy and sweet' and not 'like a loaded cock blast in the face'. it might be a thing like how some people have a certain gene that causes spinach to taste gross or look past reptilian disguises to see their real form
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