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October 14, 2019, 02:12:00 pm

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Topic: Honk the Varzandeh alarm! It's time to talk about dreams!  (Read 7453 times)

KingKalamari

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Alright everybody, it's time to force each other into long, boring conversation of the totally interesting dreams we've had that you just have to hear about!

So I had this one several years ago: I do not remember anything about the majority of this dream except that at one point I was being chased by an ostrich that kept screaming "DON'T STEAL MY OSTRICH EGGS!!!" at me over and over again. After a little while of this I actually slowed down and said "Wait a minute...Ostriches can't talk". The ostrich actually seemed taken aback by this and stopped chasing me to contemplate what I'd just said...Then it immediately screamed "STOP STEALING MY OSTRICH EGGS!!!" again and continued chasing me.

I also had one a few nights ago that I'd moved into the same apartment building as my Mom and Grandma. I came home one night to find someone had dumped flour all over everything. I was then confronted by a bunch of the nice old people who lived in the building who basically just told me they were collectively gangstalking me because they were jerks and if I told anyone they'd play dumb. What the fuck old people in my dream?

What about you guys? Any particularly entertaining dreams?

MISANDRY CANNON

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Well it's pretty dickish to steal ostrich eggs in the first place.

Anyway no, sadly all my dreams that aren't chemically influenced are solid blocks of color. Last night I dreamed of fuchsia. The night before it was beige.

Contaminant

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I had one dream where a Nazi tried to convince me that being a Nazi was a great idea.

A lot of my dreams seem to be about being back in high school, being unaware of the homework I have due, and all the hallways are inexplicably large ramps that I can't climb up.  I feel that's kind of "standard dream" territory.

Bobalay

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I slept through my alarm this morning and dreamed for a solid half-hour about all the alarms in the house constantly buzzing even after I'd smashed them to bits. I got in the car to get away and there were two alarm clocks in the car. I think my body's telling me something.

Tiny Prancer

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I had almost constant nightmares until I was about seven. Some of them are super ridiculous in retrospect (one involved a giant anthropomorphic sneaker hopping down my street and I was terrified of it) and some of them are actually still pretty horrifying (one involved being in a room of people and then gunmen burst in and killed everyone, and I survived because I fell behind a crate, but they started going through the room to check for survivors...). As a result of this, even when I have horrible dreams now I'm unable to think of them as nightmares, because they don't hit the same level of unhinged terror that the dreams I had as a kid did, no matter how gory or awful they get. Everything now is just "great my brain is being awful to me again".

On a lighter note, probably the weirdest recent dream I had was one that involved another fanfiction episode of the f plus, and the terrible fanfiction my brain came up to be read on the podcast was a weird erotic muppets fanfic where everyone but kermit was dead and he went to a wizard to revive them. I am still slightly terrified that either (a) someone has already written this fanfic or (b) this means it's become my duty to write it because of mysterious and horrible ancient dream-laws.

TheCrawlingChaos

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On a lighter note, probably the weirdest recent dream I had was one that involved another fanfiction episode of the f plus, and the terrible fanfiction my brain came up to be read on the podcast was a weird erotic muppets fanfic where everyone but kermit was dead and he went to a wizard to revive them. I am still slightly terrified that either (a) someone has already written this fanfic or (b) this means it's become my duty to write it because of mysterious and horrible ancient dream-laws.
Tiny Prancer, April 25, 2014, 08:47:44 pm

Write it under an assumed name and see if a Ridiculist stumbles across it by accident. Or indeed takes it seriously and starts a huge fan following around it. Either would be good. Well, horrible and therefore good.

Mister Smalls

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Last night I had a dream that took the form of an episode of Criminal Minds where the murderer was the evil twin of the quasi-autistic nerd agent played by Matthew Grey Gubler, who had a penchant for suddenly appearing behind people and talking in a monster voice.

Like all scary dreams, it sounds dumb as shit when I write it down, but it was seriously terrifying when it happened.  It woke me up hyperventilating at 3 in the morning.

Then I feel back asleep and dreamed that I won a jazz scatting competition.

Dreams are weird.

MISANDRY CANNON

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Last night, I dreamed of vermilion. Which for some reason was really fucking distressing to me.

Goose Goose Honk At Me Now

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Last night, I dreamed of vermilion.
MicroMissles, April 29, 2014, 04:04:48 pm
HP Lovecraft, is that you?
count_actuala

fluffy

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Last night I dreamed that my family lived in this weird run-down hodgepodge of a house where everything was exposed plywood and rotting plaster and whatnot and my parents thought it was perfectly okay and I shouldn't put on airs by wanting a home that's in good shape. Then I found out that I was adopted, and my sister had just been lying to me all along or something.

It was stupidly angsty and, it should go without saying, had absolutely no bearing on reality.

Runic

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I dreamed that the baby birds in the nest that their mother build in the wreath on my door had grown up and were learning to fly. I think I know what that one means.

MISANDRY CANNON

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Last night, I dreamed of vermilion.
MicroMissles, April 29, 2014, 04:04:48 pm
HP Lovecraft, is that you?
CuddlePLEASE MAKE IT STOP SNOWING, April 29, 2014, 04:49:04 pm

Not yet. I just need to be more racist and I should be well on my way though.

Tiny Prancer

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you also need to faint a lot

Moriarty

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I once had a dream where I was unsuccessfully trying to talk my mother out of buying a fedora.

count_actuala

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The other night I dreamed I was fighting duct tape monsters. I dreamed this so intensely that my flailing mashed my nose into the wall beside my bed and gave me a black eye. I'm an adult!