Madonna-whore complex? I find it rather simple

I need to stop calling people a hypocrite when I myself am often a hypocrite.

Sometimes it's better to just shut the fuck up.

I have the powers of Silver the Hedgehog
I have the abilities of Silver the Hedgehog
I have the personality of Silver the Hedgehog
I have Psychokinesis
My Psychokinesis can telepathically grab and lift multiple items of any sizes
My mind is very strong and it can withstand unlimited time of using psychic abilities
My Psychokinesis can lift and immobilize a person or multiple people as I desire
I can levitate and fly at high speeds using my Psychokinesis
I can withstand all conditions of flying and moving through high altitudes
I have Extrasensory Perception
I can bend steel using my Psychokinesis
I can grab non-solid objects using my Psychokinesis
I can project pure psychic energies and manipulate them into energy-based attacks using my Psychokinesis
I can induce vertigo in others using my Extrasensory Perception
I can teleport myself over distances instantaneously by warping space
I have a very strong endurance
I have a very strong pain tolerance
I can run very fast
I have a great amount of stamina
I am very acrobatic and agile
I have lightning fast reflexes and senses
I can pick up objects while moving through midair at high velocity
I can catch bullets with my Psychokinesis
I have impressive accuracy and eye to hand coordination
I am capable of pushing things several times heavier than me
I am a master at long-range attacks
I can land safely and accurately after jumping or flying
I have a strong sense of justice
I have a relentless determination and I will give my all to reach for my goals
I am very open-minded and I forgive people very easily
I always try my best to help those who are helpless of themselves
I protect those in need
I have a positive attitude and I always have high hopes despite the situation
I am an optimist and also a realist
I wear my heart on my sleeve
I always look for a solution in the right way during desperate situations
I have little regard to both physical and emotional pain
I am very courageous and brave
I am perceptive
I am very friendly and helpful

So called "experts" claim that many incidents attributed to the Bermuda Triangle actually happened outside that zone, but in doing so they inadvertently reveal the truth: we've been shading it the wrong way around, and we should in fact be more concerned about the Bermuda Anti-Triangle.

Anyway that's why my Christmas thank you letters haven't arrived yet, it's really out of my hands at this point.

Spare a thought fuck though for the lonely yet hard working non-circus clown.