Finally watched Jurassic World, flabbergasted at how nakedly it despises the audience. "It's awful that we're making dinosaurs purely at the behest of soulless corporate sponsors" says the pathetic but, ultimately, morally correct nerd character in a movie that is so stuffed with product placement it actually affects the general shot quality because so many scenes need to be framed in a way that highlights a brand logo. "We have to invent bigger and scarier dinosaurs to keep the attention of the drooling public who are bored of regular dinosaurs," says the jaded but hot corporate woman who is eventually charmed to the side of good by the hero, in the movie that invents a bigger and scarier dinosaur as a central marketing point and is, itself, a bigger and scarier retelling of the first movie in the series. "It's stupid to think that a velociraptor is like a dog," says the dirt-crusted good-ol-boy army-veteran hero in a movie where, in an emotional scene, the velociraptors save the day because of a doglike loyalty to their trainer.
And I'm a little flummoxed by it because, first of all, the absolute gall of a movie whose only positive points are big dumb action sequences to have its own text be "This is what you want, little piggies? Slop in a trough? Well come and get it you pieces of shit." Second of all, that a movie I felt insulted the entire time watching was so popular as to fund three sequels and I can't really come up with a reason *why* that is that doesn't make me sound like even more of a snobbish twit than this post already does.